Authors: Xyla Turner
RICH
:
A couple of months later, Rich stood in the doorway starting at the invitation to his family reunion. He did not want to go, did not want to ask Lisa to go, nor did he want to be considered in that family. He knew there would be people from the old neighborhood, his father’s’ friends, his old friends, but probably not anyone who would stand up to an entitled old man who would make a racist joke here and there or another snide comment about the lower class and welfare queens. Rich decided that he was not going to go, so he put the invitation in his drawer. Therefore, he would forget about it and not eat him up. Now, he wished he would have thrown it away. Lisa held the card up and asked, “So what do you want to do?”
“Babe, I’m not going.”
“Have you really thought this through?”
“Yeah and I’m not going.”
“Rich, they are your family. You do not want to close the doors or burn the bridges on your family. I know your dad is an ass, but give the others a chance.”
She had a point, but Rich didn’t want to risk it. He could meet with them some other time.
“If you want,” she walked up to him and wrapped her hands around his stomach, so he could feel her breasts on his back, “I don’t have to go. So, you won’t have more hassle or discomfort.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Rich turned around, “What the fuck? You think I would go to something like this without you? You are the only reason I’d go. I have nothing to say to them, but I would want you to get to know the other people in my family, who I can tolerate.”
“Aww, that’s sweet, but think about it and let me know.”
“Baby, there is nothing to think about. I’m not going unless you are.”
Those would be the words printed on his tombstone before all hell broke loose.
The reunion was at the country club they often visited, which was not diverse at all. Lisa had on a cute blue sun dress, wedge sandals, her hair pulled up, showing her long neck and beautiful face. Rich had on khaki pants, a blue matching polo shirt and boat shoes. They walked in the country club hand in hand, looking like the power couple they very much were. Despite the silence when they walked to a circle, Rich introduced Lisa to all of his family, besides his father. Some of them greeted her warmly and others barely greeted her. He made a mental note of all of this.
Lisa and Rich mostly stayed to themselves, but a few people came over to sit and chat with them. Rich did not plan to stay long and should have left the moment his father, who had been downing one too many drinks, was getting a bit rowdy and people were holding him back. Then he heard his name being yelled by his irate father.
“Come on Lisa, time to go.” Rich grabbed her elbow to help her up.
Lisa must have known the deal because she did not ask any questions. Just picked up her purse, grabbed his hand, waiting for him to lead the way.
Then the world stopped.
“Yeah, that’s right. Go on and run like you always do with your
nigger
bitch. You don’t belong to this family anymore. You are no son of mine.” His father sneered.
It seemed like time stood still for a moment because it kept replaying in his head what was said:
Nigger bitch, don’t belong, and no son of mine
. Rich was not sure when his father went off the deep end or if he was always like that. From the way his family seemingly being put off by Lisa, he might have always been a racist, but he was not sure about the abuse and manipulation. He often wondered if that was a side-effect of his father losing his wife so early after having their first son. Rich had seen the pictures, knew they had looked very happy before they had Rich and even happier after Rich came along, but growing up, he did not see that happiness. All he received from his father were directives, orders, physical and emotional abuse, which made it a lot easier to cut the man off. He also did not mind doing that because he refused to allow his father to poison or even slightly manipulate Lisa. Rich thought about how he carried his father’s full name was a splitting image of the man and because he could no longer control him anymore, he was ‘
no son of his’
. Before he could respond, he realized that Lisa was not by his side any longer.
Oh shit.
LISA:
Lisa looked around to see where Rich’s father could be until she spotted an older splitting image of Rich, but with salt and pepper hair. Lisa was shocked at how much Rich looked like him and how good he looked for a 50-60-year-old man.
She marched over to him in her wedge sandals and before she could say anything, he snapped “Listen, nigger...”
Lisa kept her cool, cutting him off, “Since the definition of nigger means an ignorant person, you listen, nigger.”
Gasps could be heard throughout the crowd. Lisa lowered her voice “You only have one son, who has spent his life trying to please you.”
He attempted to say something, but Lisa cut him off, “I said you listen. You are about to miss out on everything in his life. He’s living the dream, your original dream and you can’t even enjoy the fruits because you are so bitter. He’s going to be married, have kids and you won’t see your grandchildren because you are an old racist idiot that would let your fear cloud your relationship with your only flesh and blood. He’s the last thing connected to your wife and you are willing to throw that away because of what?”
The old man looked stunned at her candor or maybe the truth in her words, but she saw when his heart turned cold. “If he chooses you over his real family, then he threw it all away.”
“Wow.” She felt Rich at her side and saw her father looking at him with contempt. “Then you don’t deserve happiness.”
Lisa turned around to Rich, touched his chest and said, “I’m ready to leave now.”
Rich looked at Lisa with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes. “Okay.”
“Richard,” his dad screamed as they walked away. “If you leave out of here, considered yourself disowned.”
“Oh, shut it, Richard,” a woman screeched, “Margaret would turn in her grave if she saw you acting like this. That’s your only son. The girl’s right. This ain’t worth it.”
“Shut your mouth, Anna,” his father barked.
“I will do no such thing,” Anna huffed.
“She’s right,” another older man said, looking at Rich and Lisa, “It’s a different world now and you need to catch up with the times old man. That there boy, “he pointed to Rich, “is the only offspring you got and who he chose to love is his business. That colored girl got more sense than any of the other girls he done ever brought home.”
“You don’t say colored anymore,” Anna yelled-whispered. “It’s not correct.”
“Well, what do you call them?” the older man asked sincerely.
“How about my name,” Lisa smiled. “It’s Lisa.”
“Ah, Lisa,” the old man laughed. “Alright then Lisa, don’t go. Good ole’ Richard just needs to get some coffee in him. I’m Rich’s Uncle Billy.”
He reached out his hand for Lisa’s, who moved from next to Rich and went to shake it.
“Nice to meet you.”
“You too darling.”
“Rich, won’t you both come over to the house next week? I’d like to introduce her to the rest of the family, where we won’t have to worry about racial outbursts.” He glared at his brother.
Rich’s dad looked lost. Lisa felt sorry for him because just like that, he was alone in his views and there was real fear in his eyes. He stalked out to the yard and Uncle Billy said, “Don’t worry, I have his keys.”
He looked at Lisa and said, “Rich, she sure is pretty. You got a nice looking mocha girl.”
Anna yelled-whispered again, “You don’t’ say mocha Billy, that’s not proper either.”
Lisa looked to Anna and yelled-whispered, “Yeah, only Rich is allowed to call me that when he’s doing naughty things to me.”
They all fell over laughing while Rich turned beet-red. Lisa smiled at him, as he grabbed her from behind to give her a bear hug, then planting a kiss on her neck, “Your ass is mine when we get home.”
Lisa growled.
“Goddamn, Rich, that gal is a hoot. Where’d you find her? She got any friends, my Steven could use some color in his life.”
“JIMMY,” Anna yelled-whispered.
“Dammit, Anna, what did I say now to offend your sensitive ears?”
Lisa busted out laughing. “It’s alright Anna, he doesn’t mean any harm.”
She smiled timidly at Lisa and said, “You sure because we could all use a lesson in race relations. I’m Rich’s auntie by the way.”
“Anna, what the hell you talkin’ bout’ race relations? If I remember correctly, they got the same organs as we do, right Rich?”
Rich turned beet red again while Lisa and the others started laughing again.
“Uh, y’all, this has been great and all, but Lisa and I have to go,” Rich rushed out.
“Naw, Rich, I want to stay. They want lessons on race relations.” Lisa laughed while others chuckled.
He bent down to whisper in her ear, “I want to give a lesson that involves spanking and fucking that ass.”
“Well guys, this has been a blast, but we need to have a race relations session.” Lisa turned around and held out her hand towards a red Rich.
They all laughed and said their goodbyes.
The week after the family reunion, Lisa and Rich actually went to visit Uncle Billy and Steven. Uncle Billy was not lying when he said his son needed something in his life, but Lisa was not sure it was color. The man was pale as a ghost, but he seemed to be socially awkward, which made Lisa think having a woman might not necessarily help him. Uncle Billy asked again if she had friends that might be interested in him, almost like he was pawning him off. Lisa tried to tell him that her friends were not really his type. He scoffed and said, “Well until now I wouldn’t have ever picked you as Jr.’s type, but this is a match made in heaven.”
Rich, at that moment, was proud of his Uncle. His father, unfortunately, had not come around or spoken to him since the reunion. Lisa saw this upset him though he would not show it, so she instituted family dinners that included the men in her life. She was determined to give Rich some resemblance of how a family was supposed to act, even if they were not blood. Josh had eventually apologized to Rich about the whole Danny thing, telling him that he knew Danny was off, but just didn’t think he was that off. He also confirmed that Danny would not be a problem to the both of them, as he was back in California. The two men hugged it out and their bro-friendship continued to grow, to the point where Rich was hanging out with Josh and his friends and vice-versa.
Her dad had definitely embraced Rich like a father did a son, which Lisa found this to be shocking for her father. Aaron Johnson, who previously did not like the mixing of races, white people or their privilege and anyone who tolerated such nonsense. Her father later explained that he had not always been so open about those things, but Wallace had been working on him for years. Telling him that a change had to come, even when he tried to institute that change almost two decades ago with the bridging of the communities. He admitted that Wallace was always a forward-thinking individual, which is why he’s been in office for over 25 years. Aaron admitted that he realized a change was coming, with the gentrification of the city, the electing of a black President and then his baby girl falling in love with a white guy. He said he couldn’t deny the inevitable and rather than hold on to hate and distrust from an old way of thinking, he needed to evolve. He also said that Ms. Aubrey has been helping him as well.
A few months after the reunion, Rich was starting to hint that he did not want to keep traveling back and forth between their apartments. He had given her a key to his apartment, but he still was not satisfied. One night, Lisa went to his place and he had all new furniture in his bedroom, his room had been painted and a nice cream colored plush carpet replaced the brown shag that was there before. After two hard orgasms courtesy of Rich’s tongue, Rich told her that he wanted her to move in with him. He had a plan for himself, which he wanted her to become a part of officially. Lisa tried to think of some of the reasons why it was not a good idea to move in with him, but could not really come up with any that would hold firm. Therefore, she agreed to move in, giving her brother notice that they could rent her apartment. Nobody else seemed to have a problem with them living together, not that it would have made a difference, but it just solidified that things were moving along nicely.
As Lisa and Rich became more engrained in each other lives, Lisa found that she was always answering questions about ‘interracial relationships’ including the stereotypes, misconceptions, the pros and the cons. In an effort to document these events and ease the curiosity of people who were not familiar, she decided to write about it for her column.
Dear Readers,
As some of you know, I am in a relationship with a loving, caring, strong alpha man, who I have fallen head over heels in love with. It has been a short time, but it feels like forever. This man takes care of me, loves me regardless of my issues (like writing about him in my column on a couple of occasions) and he does not try to change me, yet continues to uplift me. To describe this man and what he has brought to my life, could not be contained in this article, but would take a novel because it has been entirely too much.
This article is to address all of the questions that I have had to field since our relationship has become public. I am an African-American woman and he is an Italian-American man. Our relationship blossomed despite neither of us wanting it or even expecting to fall for each other. It was not love at first sight and before we became attracted to each other, I am certain we both strictly dated within our own race. I include these tidbits because some of the misconceptions that I've heard or questions that I have been asked as a result of my new found love include the following:
These are the top eight questions that I have been asked by well-meaning people. Thus, I have come to realize, that most people just do not know. This was very similar to when I went to college and people wanted to touch my hair. They were not trying to be rude, but there is no course in ethnic hair for those that are not black. Just like there is no course for interracial dating or marriages.
Thus, from a novice, here are my thoughts.
1 & 2. I love myself wholeheartedly, I love being black, I love my black and brown brothers and I am open to dating them. I cannot speak for my significant other, but in our conversations, he feels the same way. In short, we fell in love. At the end of the end of the day, we do not even see race. I see him as a man, he sees me as a woman and we see each other as friends, who have each other’s back and work towards building us. This one answers the why question as well. I will also note that although I say we do not see race, we do see the differences in our upbringing and our cultures, which despite race, present interesting dialog. We can be two bull-headed individuals, so we have heated discussions or debates, but it always comes back to what we allow between the two of us.
3. We have been treated differently by some people and some family members. At first, I was very scared about how some of my family would react, but to my surprise, once they knew who he was as a man, he was embraced as one of the family. It was the essence of Dr. Martin Luther Kings, Jr.’s speech, ‘being judged on the content of his character and not on the color of his skin’. Some members of our families do treat us differently or do not talk to us, but we do not dwell on their ignorance. It is unfortunate, but we both have seen transformations on both sides of the family as a result of our union.
4. We do not have any children, but if we did, I am not sure what it would be to explain. However, you know me. I did my research and spoke with a few people, one was an Asian-American woman and an African-American man, and another was a European woman and a Mexican-American man. They both have more than one child and they both said the same things.
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They tell their children that color or race does not matter because what is real about a person is on the inside.
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They tell their children they are blessed because they get to experience two different cultures and that provides them with the best of both worlds.
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They tell their children that everyone will not accept them or their family as ‘normal’, but not to let their ignorance impact how they see or view themselves or others.
5. Readers, I will not lie. This question made me a little upset. Diluting my race is like saying ‘do not put ice in your coffee because it will dilute the coffee.’ Hello, people, what is coffee made of? WATER! We are all mixed with something. This notion of pure-breed and half-breed is just so obnoxious, I typically do not respond to ignorant statements like that. I do not believe I am ‘diluting’ my race if I were to have a child from someone who is not the same race as me. My grandmother was very light for a black woman. Her mother was even lighter, so I think it is already pretty diluted. The texture of my hair does not even remotely say it is diluted, but I am positive that we have been infiltrated at some point. Even if we were not, I still do not see the issue with this. My producing a child with the man that I love has nothing to do with race, but an offspring of our love. My producing a child with someone who is black, just because I am black is adhering to the same stigma as having a baby to keep a man. Wrong motive leading to much bigger issues.
6. If I were to have a child, the culture that we create in our home is the same that the child would be raised in, which would be the blending of the both of us. We are two different people, raised two different ways, so for us to have a functioning relationship, it requires a blending of who we are as individuals. It would be the same with a child in the picture. Being raised black or white is not really a thing. It is the culture you are raised in that determines the mannerisms or proclivities that we adopt and play out in our lives.
7. This one is a loaded question since I am the black woman with a white man. I know that black men have received a bad rap from black women about dating and being with white women. So, to this I think black men/white women has been more publicized. Black women/white men have usually been frowned upon by black men, but not as widely spread. I do not think one is harder than the other, but I know that a lot of white women are shunned by black women and that is not cool. Who people choose to love is none of people’s business. If that is not your thing, then fine, but do not judge people by your standards because someone will always judge you by theirs.
8. The sex! *Dreamy Sigh* I cannot actually say or elaborate like I could, nor would I about this particular topic. Okay, one thing. Do not believe everything you hear. Now, I am done.
Real Talk with Lisa
The response was enormous because this article addressed a cutting edge topic and brought it down to everyone’s level. The column, ‘
Real Talk with Lisa’
, received rave reviews and even the local television station interviewed Lisa, where she was able to promote No Fear and NSPPF. Rich was so proud of Lisa that he framed the article to put in his home office. Prior to this, Rich had framed the first ‘bad’ article Lisa had written about him and enlarged it. Then he put all of her articles after that one around the first article. When Lisa asked him about this, he said that was the beginning of his transformation. That was a big moment, which is why he made the ‘bad’ article big and put the other contributing moments around this one. With the latest article, he enlarged it and put it next to the ‘bad’ one. He said this was another significant moment, where their relationship went full circle.
A month later, Rich held a press conference that would not be aired until later on in the evening. This was on the same night as one of the family dinners, where Lisa had outdone herself. She cooked fried fish, baked barbecue chicken, macaroni salad, tossed salad, corn on the cob, string beans, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. Rich seemed particularly nervous that day, but she assumed it was because of the press conference that would air. He said there was some important legislation that needed to be addressed and the public needed to know about it as soon as possible. By 7 PM, dinner was ready and the house smelled like heaven. Lisa’s dad, Ms. Davis, and Josh came over, then Uncle Billy and Steven came, along with Michelle and Jessica. Rich was helping her in the kitchen, when her dad yelled, “The press conference is coming on now.”
Everyone ran out to watch and Lisa was so impressed by Rich. He was always so anxious about being on TV, but he was a natural. He could persuade a cat to buy fur. He looked good as usual, he spoke with confidence and he came across as genuine because he actually was. Lisa had told him she did not like corrupt politicians, so the minute he became corrupt, she was out. He always kissed her and said, “Then that is something she would never have to worry about because he was not losing her over a job.”
Rich announced that he was going to propose an increase in minimum wage and free trade school programs for convicted felons. Since we want them to be rehabilitated, but we do not provide them with the resources to make a living. Lisa loved that he could see that now. She loved even more that he was trying to do something about that problem, instead of just talking about the injustices over dinner. He would be getting something special tonight, she thought. She tuned back in to hear him announce the craziest thing on local television.
“As most of you know, I’ve been dating a beautiful, intelligent woman who makes my heart leap. Almost four years ago, she wrote an article blasting me for my poor practices that impacted our community. I have enlarged that article and it is now on my home office wall, as a reminder of the wake-up call she brought to me that day. A month ago, she wrote another article addressing an issue that impacts us both but professed her undying love for me in a public way again. If you know her, you know she’s a force to be reckoned with, but if you love her, you know she gives her all and won’t settle for less. She’s a fighter and a lover. I’m not sure how I got so damn lucky and I can’t believe she chose me. God knows I don’t deserve her, but I’m not letting her go. She is my life.” Rich paused as if he was getting emotional. “She’s everything to me, even when those who are supposed to love me, turned their backs on me. She has been there to uplift me, encourage me and fulfill me. She claims me, I claim her – she’s mine and now, I want to make her mine, officially.” People murmured in awe as Rich pulls something out of his pocket.