Authors: Xyla Turner
LISA:
Lisa did not know for sure how long she cried, but even at 11 PM that evening, she still had tears coming down from her face. Remembering the pained look in Rich’s face, the words he said to her, and the truth he made her swallow. He was right, she was the one who feared. It looked different, but it was the same thing. Fear of the unknown, fear of what others would say, fear of what her family, specifically her father would say. She had not admitted even to herself that she had feelings for Rich. She literally ran away instead of confronting her feelings, for fear of rejection. So, she turned it on him, making herself believe he just wanted an experiment, he just wanted it for the night. Really whatever she could talk herself out of those feelings that told her he was real, that she was attracted to him, his bravery, and shit even his confidence. He completely transformed into something that she should at least be proud of, but instead she would not water that seed and let it grow. Lisa convinced herself that he was the enemy, instead of looking at the enemy within.
Lisa started to research what the Senator was up to in the past three years. She could not believe what she was reading. After Rich had returned to work, he headed a division for young incarcerated youth to partner with local community organizations, mentors around the city including law enforcement and legislators. After a year, he announced his intention to run for the Senate, left the DA’s office and started an organization called No Fear, which encompassed the same thing he did at the DA’s office. No Fear partnered with the DA, NSPPF, and the Police Department and they had been highly successful. He won the State Senate seat in North Philadelphia, which was odd because he lived in South Philadelphia. There was also an article posted after he ran about how he was able to get 25% of his 70% guilty plea overturned. He also has been working tirelessly in collaboration with others to right the wrongs that plagued the community.
She started crying again. What was the world coming to, if prejudice Rich could turn over a new leaf and she was still walking around with her old mantra of how he was the same? At that moment, Lisa realized they were not kids anymore, trying to do what their parents were telling them, she was not stealing the ball from him and he was not knocking her down and calling her names. If anything, they were on the same team now.
Damn, she thought. She had it all wrong.
******
NSPPF had their annual ball this weekend, which Lisa was very excited to be invited and was asked to present an award. She brought Josh as her date and apparently their dad had a date of his own, that he would introduce to them tonight. This was good because as far as she knew he had not dated since their mother passed away. She figured Rich might be there, so just in case, she made sure to look her best. Sporting a little black dress, 4-inch heels, her hair twisted up, with dangling earrings to match the dangling necklace. Josh was in a Tux and looked ready to break some women’s hearts. He had warned Lisa not to cock block since she did enough of that when she was young. Lisa told him not to do the same. Although, Josh was more finicky about women that any man she ever knew. Some people thought he was gay, others just thought he wanted the ‘perfect woman.’ Lisa knew he wasn’t gay, but that he would never settle for anything, which did not bother her like it did their father.
Dad showed up with his date, Ms. Davis, from around the neighborhood. He looked happy, so that is what mattered. Josh mingled while Lisa caught up with interested parties about what was happening in her life and the foundation. One guy asked her to dance, so she did a little twirl with him. Another guy asked for a dance, and she did until the music switched and it went to a slow song. She pulled away from him and smiled. Only to be caught by the elbow by another man, whose scent she would never forget.
Rich snapped her to him with an intense look in his eyes. He did not say anything and neither did she. He placed his hand on her lower back and his other hand was entangled with hers in the air. They rocked back and forth, then Lisa put her head on his shoulder. Rich’s breath hitched and she could feel his heart beat speed up. This was a bold move on Lisa’s part, but she was trying to communicate to him that she was sorry, ready, and no longer afraid.
Lisa felt a light tap on her hand, so she picked her head up to see a beautiful white woman with long blond hair smiling at Rich.
“May I cut in?” she asked politely and looked at Lisa.
She looked at Rich and he said, “Lisa, I’d like you to meet my date, Ann.”
Without missing a beat, Lisa reached her hand out towards Ann and said, “It’s so nice to meet you, Ann. Yes,” she let go of Rich, but he held on to her arm. “You can certainly cut in.”
“Lisa,” Rich grounded out.
Lisa swiped at his arm with her other hand and said, “Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to catch up.”
She could not believe she did that. First, she publicly put her head on his shoulder like there was some sort of ownership on her part. Second, she did it front of her family, friends, and co-workers. Last, she was publicly dismissed. Lisa was so humiliated, she went straight to the bathroom. If she didn’t have to give the award, she would leave and never return. What she could do was blame it on the alcohol.
Yes, she thought, genius plan.
Lisa returned and headed straight for the bar. Once she was able to get his attention, she said, “One shot of Patron, keep them coming.”
Around the third shot, Josh sat on the stool next to her and said, “Slow down killer.”
She laughed and tried to act drunker than she actually was. “Josh,” she sang.
“How many of those have you had?”
“Three of these, but I’m not sure how many of the others I had.” She pointed towards her table.
“Ahh, well since I’m your date tonight,” he swiped the shot, “you are going to refrain from the hard stuff.”
Lisa thought how pathetic it was to have her brother to come as her date and good ole’ Rich was here with a real date.
“Do you always have to be a big brother?” she asked.
Before Josh could answer, someone put their hand on Lisa’s back and asked, “Ahh, you are the big brother?”
Lisa halfway turned around to see Rich’s hand possessively placed on her, as Josh stood up to his full height and replied, “And you are?”
“I’m Rich Wells, Lisa’s friend.”
“You’re the dude that was looking for her a couple of years ago?” Josh said as recognition hit him.
Lisa did not turn around to look at Rich but swiped her drink since Josh was not paying attention. She took a quick drink and signaled for the bartender to send another.
“Yes, that was me.”
“So, it looks like you found her.” Josh mused.
“It looks like I did.”
“What are your intentions?”
“Josh,” Lisa gasped but grabbed the new drink off the counter. As soon as she was about to put the glass to her mouth, it was plucked out of her hands by Rich this time.
“Hey,” Lisa grabbed for the drink, but Josh swatted her hand away.
The two of them had double teamed her.
Lisa took this opportunity to slip away since Rich had the drink and Josh was focused on the drink thief’s intentions. She was not sure why that was the topic of conversation because blondie over there, was watching them like a hawk.
“Lisa,” Rich called after her.
Josh cut him off and said, “Let her go.”
This evening just could not get any worse, Lisa thought as she headed towards her table. A chime sounded in the room, letting everyone know it was time to sit and begin. As the program went on, Lisa got more nervous about the introduction. She thought maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to get totally drunk. When it was her turn, she gave the presentation without any mistakes, but as she went to leave the stage, the guy at the bottom of the steps motioned for her to stay on stage. She turned around, so she was not in the spotlight, but Doris, the current chair of NSPPF, took the microphone and motioned Lisa to come stand with her. She slowly walked towards Doris while two other people came on the stage. One guy was in a uniform and the other was Rich.
Doris cleared her throat and projected, “This award goes to a young, courageous lady who sacrificed not only her job, but her livelihood to make a difference in something she believed in. She took a hiatus from Philly to pursue her Master’s in Community Planning and Urban Development and out of her tireless work both in the field and out, she is steadily inspiring others to take action. From her work, including her writing, she challenged State Senator Wells, who was a lawyer then, to do something greater. He rose to that challenge and has formed a successful partnership with the Police Department, schools around the city, and NSPPF. It was because of her work and her challenge that 159 youth had cases overturned or revisited. That’s the type of legacy we should all strive for, that’s the kind of fearlessness we should all look to attain, so this award goes to Ms. Lisa Johnson.”
Everyone clapped and cheered. Doris motioned for Lisa to take the podium, but she did not want to, especially with tears running down her eyes. Lisa turned her head to clear her throat while everyone started to settle down.
“I’m sorry y’all. I had no idea this was going to happen because I probably wouldn’t have come.” Everyone laughed. “I appreciate the award, but I would be remiss if I failed to share this moment with someone who not only rose to the challenge but surpassed all expectations, including mine. Boy, when I first met State Senator Wells, we butted heads continuously. We still do.” People snickered. “However, when I came back to Philly and saw all that he has done, which is far greater than what has been publicized, I was floored. He reminded me of two valuable lessons. One, people can change and two, embrace what you fear, you just might enjoy the ride.” Lisa smiled. “So, thank you guys for this award, but I would like you to help me thank State Senator Rich Wells.” Lisa turned around, looked him in the eye and started to clap. Everyone rose to their feet, cheered and applauded for him.
Lisa left the stage, went out the side door, and grabbed a taxi to go home.
RICH:
He could not find Lisa anywhere. She must have left. Rich was so frustrated, he did not know whether he was coming or going. He pulled out the phone and called his driver. He was going to her place and he was not leaving until they talked. Really talked. He called a taxi for Ann, paid for it and wished her well. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but Rich closed the door. He did not have time for conversation, when the woman he loved was trying to evade him.
When Rich finally arrived at Lisa’s house, he knocked on her door, but there was no answer. He kept knocking until he heard a noise. A light came on, then she opened the door with the latch still in place.
“Rich, what are you doing here?” Lisa’s eyebrows were bunched together.
“We need to talk.” He had both hands on the door post.
“Can it wait until tomorrow?”
“No, it absolutely cannot.”
She closed the door, took the latch off and opened it all the way for him to enter. Lisa was dressed in loose short pajamas bottoms, a tank top and she had a robe draped around her shoulders with bunny slippers on her feet. She closed the door and headed towards the kitchen, “Do you want some coffee or something to drink?”
“Coffee. Black,” he replied as he walked behind her to the kitchen.
She put the water in the coffee maker, turned it on and said, “So, what’s so important it can’t wait?”
“Why do you keep running from me?”
“I am afraid,” she said quietly.
Rich did not quite expect her to spit it out like that. Her candor, once again, caught him off guard.
“So you are just going to stay afraid?” he asked.
“I’m not sure how to navigate my feelings.” She turned around, folded her arms across her chest and looked at him.
“What are those feelings?” He leaned against the counter across from her.
“I am attracted to you, I feel a strong pull towards you, but I didn’t want that, nor do I think I should have that. Therefore, I’ve convinced myself this is some sick game you are playing with me, trying to string along the black girl for kicks, or satisfying your taste for a darker berry. Shit, I don’t know.” She seemed exasperated.
“Ahh because the attraction can’t be mutual?”
“Right.”
“Are you convinced?”
“I was for three years.” Lisa turned her head and muttered, “Until I came back.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Your transformation.”
“How so?” He really wanted to know. “Eyes.”
She turned her head towards him and recounted. “Before, I had every reason not to like you, but then you took all of those excuses away with the way you’ve blown everything I thought about you out of the water. Now, I have no excuse as to why I’m still attracted to you. Like it hasn’t been three years and why I miss you when I never had you.”
Rich took a step towards Lisa, as she gripped her arms with both hands as if she was attempting to steady herself.
“Do you remember me asking you if there could be a ‘you and me’?”