Adam (6 page)

Adam appeared to be taking stock of her as she measured him. She hadn’t changed and that was the reason she knew pretending the past didn’t happen wouldn’t change anything.

“What can I do for you, Adam?” Keelee started to walk out of the barn door, but his hand on her arm stopped her.

He took his hand off her when she turned back around.

Keelee could see stress buried in the lines of his face. He appeared as if he wanted to say something. She waited, wishing she could help him with his struggle. He closed his eye and lifted his face towards the ceiling, his frustration etched into every tense muscle and exasperated gesture. Placing a hand on his arm, she waited until he regarded her. “Adam, I know you’re learning to deal with your injuries. Come on. Walk with me for a while. We can talk when you’re ready.”

Adam nodded and fell into step beside her. Finally, he asked his question.

“Did I know you? Before?”

Keelee glanced at the man. The moment of truth. With a shrug she nodded. “Uh huh. We met when Jacob came back to the ranch with my sister Tori. You, Chief and the twins came with him. Stayed here for a while.”

“Did we… were we… close?” His delay in speaking couldn’t disguise the velvet soft timber she remembered so well. Keelee stopped and faced him.

“Adam, I’m going to be honest. I wanted to be a lot closer to you than you wanted to be to me. You were the consummate gentleman but definitely not interested. So to answer your question, no, we weren’t close.” The damn tears she saved for the solitude of her bedroom threatened to make themselves known. Keelee swallowed hard and blinked rapidly before she turned away.

Adam lifted his hand and cupped her chin, moving her face back so he could see her eyes. “Then I was a fool. I need to heal.” He tapped his head and smiled a sad smile. “I don’t remember why we weren’t close. I’m sorry. Maybe… we could start again?”

Keelee stared at the shadow of the man she had known. He was obviously trying to get his life together. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I… no.” The tears stopped threatening and fell down her cheeks.

He lifted his hand and wiped her cheeks. “I made you cry? Why would I do that to you?”

Keelee pulled her face away and took a step back. “Sometimes the truth hurts, Adam.” She cleared her throat and observed the horizon. “I’m a simple woman. The ranch is my life. I don’t know how to play games and I don’t understand people who do. We had an attraction. You acted like you were interested but when I offered, you…” She shrugged her shoulders and left the comment unfinished. Appropriate, because that was the way her love for him had withered. Unfinished.

They stood side by side, each lost in their own thoughts. When he spoke, his words were unexpected.

“Keelee, I’d like to get to know you. I have so much to work on, physically…mentally. Having a friend would be nice.”

Keelee smiled despite herself. She wanted to be more than a friend, but it was a place to start. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” He smiled and nodded towards the annex side of the ranch. “Got to go check in with Chief.”

Keelee smiled. “Alright. It was good to talk with you again.”

Adam smiled and those dimples, those wonderful dimples, appeared in all their glory. “It was nice to meet you… again.”

He turned and walked towards the Annex, leaving her in the middle of the wide gravel road. And she stood there watching until he entered the clinic. When the door closed, she gazed up to the heavens.

“God? You and me, we talk a lot. I usually don’t ask for anything for me. I’m so blessed and I know that… but just this once, if it is in your will, I really would appreciate an assist. That man? He needs some help and if you’re of a mind, I’d like to be that for him.”

Adam sat on the porch of the clinic and watched riders come in from the north pasture. The orange hue of the sun setting brushed strokes of amber against the barn and house down the hill. The calls of horses in the stable to the returning mounts of the hands floated to him on soft breezes of night air. Evenings like this settled the relentless swirl of his mind.

A quick glance at his watch pulled a faint semblance of a smile to his lips. Keelee. She’d been coming by regularly to check on him. Part of him hated the fact a woman, any woman, needed to check up on him. The other part counted the minutes until she walked up the trail and sat next to him.

They talked about a host of things, but when she spoke of the ranch and her family, she came to life. It seemed the land was her life force. She was a part of the ranch and the ranch was part of her. Adam envied that connection. The woman was peaceful and kind. She never pushed him to remember or asked anything of him. The last month had been a calm respite, one that he had come to cherish.

Footsteps jerked him from his reflections. The figure coming up the trail wasn’t Keelee, it was the ranch hand… Clive? No, Clint.

“Dr. Cassidy.” The man stopped at the foot of the stairs and draped his arms on the porch railing.

“Clint, isn’t it?” Adam’s training clicked in and he assessed the man. Six foot, one hundred ninety to two hundred pounds of lean muscle. Before the accident, the man wouldn’t have even been a blip on the radar. Now, he was a threat. And wasn’t that a kick in the ass. Adam vowed to start eating better. He had to get back in shape.

“Yeah. I was wondering if I can have a word with you, Doc.” The man took off his cowboy hat and slicked back his sweat-darkened hair.

“Sure. Need medical advice?” Adam tilted his chin, waiting.

“Nope, kinda hoping I could give you some advice, though.” Clint linked his hands together over the rail and took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know what you think is going on up here in the evenings between you and Keelee, but in all fairness I think I should. You see, Keelee and I were raised together. I’m going to marry her one day.”

“What does Keelee say about that?” Damn cowboy might be able to take him now, but fuck if he’d sit here like a scolded preschooler.

“Huh. You know, I figured you had some smarts, being a doctor and all. But hey, you want to try to cloud the water, you go ahead. I’m just attempting to save you some heartache.” The man straightened and turned to leave.

Adam blew out a long huff of air. Damn, he hated being a good man.

“Hey, Clint?”

The man stiffened and turned. “Yeah?”

“Dude, I’m not competition. Keelee and I talk, that’s all. I’m still fucked up from my accident. I’m not chasing anything but friendship.”

The lanky cowboy nodded and headed toward the barn. Adam watched him until he entered the structure. He had to give the man credit. Clint felt Adam was sniffing around his woman and had the balls to confront him.

Adam’s snort disturbed the silence. In his present condition, it didn’t take balls. A twelve-year-old girl could take him down. He could smell dinner. Usually, he wouldn’t bother. He needed to bother. Hell, he needed to start living again. The time here at the ranch had been one slow slide. Adam leaned on his forearms and stared at the pine boards of the porch floor. A schedule. He needed to build a program, food, exercise, and yeah… talking to his brothers-in-arms. He’d been avoiding Chief and the twins. The fact was he was avoiding everything and everybody. Fuck. He’d been stuck in neutral since he’d gotten here.

“Hey, you.” Keelee’s greeting shocked him out of his self-realization.

“Hey.”

“You doing okay?” She flopped down in the chair next to him and searched his face with those huge blue eyes. Eyes that should be looking towards Clint, not him. “What’s wrong?”

“Actually there isn’t anything wrong. You ever have a moment of clarity when the entire world seems to come into focus?” He leaned back in the chair and made a swipe of the heavens with his hand. “How in the world have I let this—all of this—pass me by?”

Keelee put her rough, work-worn hand on his arm. “I don’t understand, Adam.”

He smiled. The first real smile in, oh God… forever. “Yeah, Kee. I know. But the fact that I do? Well, damn, that’s just about a fucking miracle.”

Keelee blinked… and blinked… and blinked again. “Are you going to share?”

“Yep. You got a good thing here, Kee. You got a ranch you love. Family. Love and the chance at a life with a good cowboy. I’ve got a chance too. A chance to recover and redeem my life. Make something of what is left of me. It’s about time I started working on that. These nights talking? They have been special, but it’s time to shift out of neutral.”

“Neutral?”

“Yep. Starting when your aunt rings that dinner bell, I’m clawing my way back to normal. Damned if I know what my normal feels like now, but I do know I need to focus. On me. On getting better. And you? Hon, you need to concentrate on the ranch, your family, and that cowboy. Clint cares for you.” The slow, deliberate words took forever to form, but the relief that he felt when he finally said them was worth the torture of getting the thoughts out.

Keelee’s breath caught. He heard the distress in it, although he had no idea why she would react that way. “Oh. Well. Hey. Yeah. I’m so glad you found first gear, Adam. I know the guys are waiting to help, they just need you to extend them a chance.”

She stood up and stretched. “Well, dinner should be ready by the time we get to the house. I’ll walk you, but I have some… things I need to tend to at the barn.”

He walked with her to the house and stopped her when she turned away. “Hey. Thank you. For being a friend.”

Keelee smiled and put a warm hand on his cheek. “I’ll always be here for you, Adam. Go. Eat with our family tonight. They’ve missed you.”

“Our family?” He felt his eyebrows rise.

“Sorry. The twins feel like brothers and Chief is… well, Chief is amazing and… just go eat, Adam. Good night.”

She stuck her hands in her pockets and headed down to the barn leaving him at the foot of the steps. Five steps to the porch. Five steps to the start of his life. Again. His boots were soundless as he climbed up. One step at a time.

Aruba, one year later:

Adam sipped his scotch while the warm breeze off the Atlantic played with his hair and ruffled the patio umbrella over his head. It had been two years since he’d been rescued from a cave in a third world country more dead than alive. But life and time marched on. A testament to that fact danced to reggae music across the pool. Joseph King pulled his new bride from the laughing crowd of family and friends straight into his arms. The sounds of guitars and cuíca drums filled the air as he spun the woman onto the dance floor set up on the sands of the private beach. It was obvious watching the couple that no one else existed for them.

“I never thought I would see the day.” Jacob’s voice filled with emotion as his brother laughed and dipped his new bride.

“From what I know, they both deserve some happiness.” Adam considered the private mansion behind him, the infinity pool in front of him and the ocean beyond that. “I could be happy here.”

Jacob lifted a finger and motioned toward his brother. “Joseph has enough money to live this way for the rest of his life, but I doubt he will.”

Adam nodded. “Yeah, thanks to Gabriel, money has never been a worry for any of us.”

“Really? Are you telling me I need to adjust my pay scale?” Gabriel’s voice came from behind the two men.

Doc twisted, peering back before he lifted off his chair and shook Gabriel’s hand. The CEO of Guardian Security smiled and pulled him in for a bear hug. Jacob stood too and offered his hand after the man released Adam.

“No, sir. I’m pretty sure nobody here would be happy with me if I suggested that.”

“Damn, it’s good to hear you talking without that hesitation anymore.” Gabriel slapped him on the shoulder and gripped it in a warm hold.

“Thank you, sir. I appreciate you hiring Ember to help me at the clinic so I could work on my health. The speech impediment was stress induced. I’ve got it under control now.”

“What about your memory?” Gabriel nodded, acknowledging Jason, who had walked up to the group.

“A work in progress.” Doc moved allowing Jason into the conversation, and extended a handshake. “How are you doing? I’m sorry I missed you at Talon’s christening. I wasn’t quite ready to take on a crowd.”

Jason dropped his hand and stared at his shoes for a moment before his eyes rose directly to Adam’s. “I was right there with you, man. It’s hard coming back from what you and I went through. I know I’m ultimately the reason for your injuries. If I could change what happened, I would.”

“You didn’t cause my injuries. The fuckers who tortured the shit out of me caused them. I don’t blame you. Never have. If you’re trying to shoulder it, then you need to drop that burden, man. The fact is we work in a dangerous world. We all know the risks and we go into every mission with our eyes wide open. I’m in a good place.”

Jason stared at Doc as if trying to determine if Doc was being up front with him. Finally, he nodded. “Good enough.”

Gabriel snorted. “Well, damned glad you two had your moment. Now that the past is firmly in the past, what do you have planned? I got Jacob’s and Jared’s lives scheduled for the next twenty-five years, but you two are wild cards. I don’t do wild cards.” Gabriel’s question caused a momentary pause as the two men regarded at each other.

Jason chuckled. “I’m hanging in Mississippi. I have a good law practice now. I’m working contracts for some new talent in Nashville.” Jason drew a deep breath before adding, “And I’m focusing on staying sober.”

Jason lifted his soda can and pointed to Doc. “What about you?”

“I’m sure as hell not fit for the field. I’ll probably head back to the ranch after the holidays. There’s no one in training now. No reason for me to be hanging around up there. Figure I’ll find a beach and get a tan until training starts back up.”

Jacob turned on his heel and gawked at him. “Excuse me? What the fuck do you call Keelee? That girl, son… is a reason.”

A surge of pissed-off pumped through his veins. “I sure as hell don’t call her a reason to go back! We’re friends, people who talk and play cards on Thursday night. She hasn’t once shown she’s interested in more. I mean, for God’s sake, she’s dating Clint. They are damn near inseparable, always riding or working together.”

Jacob threw back his head and laughed, drawing everyone’s attention. “Doc, pull your head out of your ass. She’s only dating Clint because no one else is paying her any attention. You know you’re my best friend, but damn it, man, you’re blind in both fucking eyes, not just the one with a patch over it.”

Joseph, his wife, Ember, and Tori walked up as Jacob ranted.

“That’s true, you know, Adam.” Ember’s soft voice soothed some of the sting from Jacob’s retort. “Keelee and I became very close while I lived at the ranch over the last year. She’s my best friend and I know she cares for you. Clint isn’t who she’s interested in. It’s always been you.”

Tori stuck her two cents in. “My sister has been gone on you since the two of you stayed at the line cabin. I don’t know what happened. She’d never tell me. Only that you didn’t want her.”

“She was sick! For God’s sake, I told her we couldn’t. How the hell was I supposed to…”

Doc staggered and sat down hard on the chair, dropping the glass in his hand. It shattered, but nobody noticed. Nobody moved. He held his hands in front of him. Both shook uncontrollably. Memories collided, violently filling the void that had haunted him. He knew… everything. He remembered it all, the mission, the ranch, the move of the cattle down to lower pastures.

He lifted his eyes and whispered, “Oh fuck. I remember… oh God…”