After All (8 page)

“That’s a terrible tragedy for you,” I said dryly.

My quips never slowed Cooper in the least.

“So. I was thinking we should all go up to the cabins in a week or so? What do you think?”

“Perfect. Absolutely perfect.” Anything to get out of my own head for a few days.

“Problems in paradise?” he teased.

“We know full well there’s nothing paradisiacal about my life. But yeah. I need out of the city for a few days.” I leaned back and rubbed my forehead with my fingertips trying to shove away all the things I shouldn’t be thinking.

“We’ll be up for a couple weeks, leaving Friday. I’d be happy to have the kids up with us, at least for part of the time.” He shrugged. “Jennifer insisted on two nannies for the trip, so we’ll have plenty of help.”

“They’d love it.” And I might love the idea of having Ashley to myself. I just had to get Gabby off my back, and find a way to talk to Ashley about… What?

Really. I’d invited her over. She’d crashed. We’d cooked together. Gone to games together, run together… Sort of kissed. I’d give almost anything to relive that moment—only hopefully with a better ending. It just felt…final. Like since she backed away from that into friendship territory, that was it.

But maybe we could do dinner out. Something simple, but just us. And we could see...

“You’re deep in thought over there.”

“Yeah… And don’t ask because I’m not saying a word. Not yet.” I scratched my two days worth of stubble and stared out the window.

Cooper’s smile filled his face. “You met a girl.”

I thought about Ashley and Trevor’s smile for her and Marie’s enthusiasm for the idea of her. And how Cooper might finally stop giving me crap about not dating. And how I was starting to hate the back and forth my brain was putting me through so I was determined to talk to her. “I think we all met a girl.”

* * *

I dropped my keys and bag from work on the counter and jogged back outside before I lost my nerve. It was just Ashley, and just dinner.
Without the kids.
That was the clincher. The thing that would make this stand out as something different. Something less like friends. After nearly two weeks of friendly chatter in the morning, I wasn't sure how awkward I was about to make things.

I stared at my feet on the sidewalk between our two houses, watching my scuffed brown shoes when small black shoes came into view, and I stopped a half second before running into Ashley.

She looked as shocked as me as we stood there staring at one another in the later afternoon heat.

“I was just going to—”

“Do you have a sec—”

I’d never seen her look so…nervous. Biting her lip and even her eyebrows looked tense. “You first,” I said as I tried not to notice yet another striped tank that didn’t quite reach the top of her cutoffs.

She pulled in a deep breath and closed her eyes. If her nervous energy was different I’d have been worried, but I was kind of getting a kick out of seeing her like this. “So, Amy’s firm. Well, not
her
firm, but the firm where she’s interning is part of this big fundraiser thing, and if you don’t agree to come with me, I’ll be stuck with whoever she decides to set me up with.” Her words tumbled out of her mouth so fast it took me a moment to realize
she
was asking
me
out. “And I know this is probably going to be like when you felt obligated to go to the theater with Gabby because this is dinner and the theater and I’m only giving you two days warning because it’s this Friday, and I’m sorry, and does that sound at all—”

“Perfect.” And not at all like Gabby. “Sounds great, and I’d love to save you from whomever Amy would have picked.”
Love to? Tone it down, Brandt. You idiot. You’re going to scare her off.

Her face finally relaxed as my words sunk in. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything.”

“Kids will be with my brother at the house he calls a cabin.” Now
my
words were tumbling out in a rush. And wait. What if she thought I was implying a lot more than I was by having an empty house? I only meant to say that I wasn’t at all worried about them, and now…

“Oh. Okay.” She took a few steps back, her face completely unreadable, and wasn’t sure if it was her nerves or my stupid remark about love to, or my kids won’t be here, or…

I felt this sudden urge to break the ice. I go for a walk with her or grab ice cream or something so we were just friends and comfortable again. “Wanna—”

“I’m in the middle of stuff now, so we’ll talk and I’ll see you Friday.” She stumbled once as she backed up, her striped tank hugging her perfectly, me completely confused.

“See you.” I gave her a wave as she ran into her house, and then it hit me again. Her age. Her uncertainty. We were worlds away from where we were in our lives. And I suddenly didn’t care at all
.

NINE

Ashley

I pulled my black dress heels out of my closet and slid them on just as my phone rang.

Brandt
.

“Hello,” I answered, hoping my nervousness didn’t transfer on the phone. What was with me? This was dinner and theater. People did it all the time. It just felt so…
adult
, and I’d survived asking him, so actually going through with it should be easy. It's just that we kissed, and he'd been very much just a friend, so I kept waiting for him to back out and realize that a date was not the best way to keep us in friend territory.

“Hey…” His voice came out slow, hesitant.

My chest sank. Something happened. He was backing out. He never wanted to go in the first place. I was a big raging idiot for thinking he didn’t see me as a kid.

“I ran into a little problem,” he continued.

“It’s okay.” I blinked back tears, and tried to take a breath in but I was afraid to relax. Relaxing meant a greater chance of me crying. How had this night become such a big deal?

“Ash, I’m just running a little late. I’m so sorry. I have my tux with me. I’ll meet you at the restaurant. Just order me some dinner with fish, and know I’m running as fast as I can. Is that okay?”

I pulled in a long breath and blotted the edges of my eyes because I'd spent way too long with my makeup. What a ridiculous overreaction. “Yeah. Totally fine.”

The line was silent for a moment. “I really wish I was able to pick you up.”

“Oh, no.” I slowly got myself back under control. “It’s not a big deal. I mean I practically begged you and—”

“No, no. Stop,” Brandt said. “I want to do this. It’s the first time I’ve been excited about wearing my tux since I can remember. And it’s almost
August
.” There was an edge of laughter to his voice that appeased me. I didn’t know if I believed him, but I
wanted
to believe him, despite how platonic everything between us had been.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” I answered.

“See you then.”

I hung up the phone still unsure of what to expect. If we were heading into maybe relationship territory, or if I was just the neighbor who liked his kids and another obligation who needed a man on her arm for the night.

When I walked into the living room, Kenneth waited by the door looking as nervous as I felt. Unusual for him.

“Well, your tux looks like it was made for you,” I commented as I shuffled through my purse to see what I could fit into my small bag.

“It was.” He shifted his weight onto one leg and put his hands in his pockets.

Of course it was. He was neat and tidy Kenneth. He’d always worked extra jobs to keep himself in nice clothes—even in high school.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Yep.”

He gave me a polite smile. “You look great, Ashley. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you all dressed up.”

“Thanks.” I was so nervous I couldn’t breathe normally. I kept reminding myself,
breathe in, breathe out
. My dress was tighter than I’d normally wear, and the deep purple barely reached my knees, and plunged in the back. Nerves skittered through me making me wonder how much of an idiot I was going to make of myself.

“We ready to go?” Amy walked out of her room looking like a goddess in a black dress that flowed in soft layers to her ankles.

My jaw dropped. “Amy.”

“Think it’ll work?” She breathed in through her teeth with a huge grin.

“Well aren’t I the lucky guy escorting two beautiful women.” Kenneth smiled, holding out his elbows. "Well, at least until we meet up with Michelle."

"Michelle?" I asked.

"Almost as neurotic as Kenneth." Amy smirked. "It should be interesting because he's been stressing about it since he asked her."

"Funny." I bumped him with my elbow, and he responded with a smile.

And then I thought about meeting up with Brandt, and nervousness slid through me again.

Yes. Our evening should definitely be interesting...

* * *

The restaurant’s creamy walls, dark wood, and soft, glowing lights couldn’t push my nerves away. I looked over my shoulder every three minutes toward the front door. Salad was done. The jokes about my non-existent date were slowing down. I’m sure everyone was afraid he actually wouldn’t show. I definitely was.

I knew none of these people, and the conversation was focused on school and sports and who had hooked up with who at the last Arizona State law student party. All eight of them. It felt like a Marie-level conversation, not a law student conversation. And then self-consciousness nagged at me as I thought about how this might feel to Brandt, who I’m sure had reservations about my age, just like I had with him.

Amy giggled again, and I looked up to see Taylor’s hand on her shoulder, and Kenneth nuzzling the blonde who did, in fact, look as if she might match him for neatness, her hands resting in her lap, and not a hair out of place.

Amy peered behind me. “Whoa.”

I turned my head to see Brandt walk in. There was nothing scruffy about him as he followed the server toward our table. He’d shaved and even gotten a haircut, but even still there was something informal and maybe a twinge uncertain about the way he moved toward the table. Brandt made all these guys look like boys. What was I
thinking
asking someone like him out on a date?

I stood up without thinking and our eyes met. He paused for a moment and then a smile broke out across his face.

“Ashley.” He stopped barely a half step from me, some of the awkwardness of him came back as he shoved his hands in his pockets before jerking them back out and smoothing his jacket.

I swallowed and looked up at him. Brandt was a lot taller than me. And close enough that I could feel the warmth from his body. My heart sped, and I held my breath.

“You look…” He touched the lower part of my cheek briefly. “You look incredible.”

I breathed out in relief. Relief that he made it. Relief from the knowledge that he wanted to be here and that he wasn’t afraid to tell me I was beautiful in front of a table full of people.

“Ahem.” One of the guys at the table cleared their throat.

I turned to Amy’s group while doing a pathetic job of holding in my smile. “This is Brandt.”

“It’s nice to meet all of you.” He gave a quick nod, and I wondered if our crowd had made him more nervous than normal. It was a little silly seeing as he definitely stood out, and in a good way.

Brandt stood behind my chair so I could sit. Amy watched me carefully, not doing the best job at suppressing her smug smile.

Our food came moments after Brandt sat down.

“Ahh… Looks like my timing was perfect.” He rubbed his hands together as his plate was placed, and his smile made him seem a little more relaxed than when he first walked in.

Everyone laughed and he leaned toward me until I could feel his breath on my face. He spoke low in my ear, the vibration of his voice forming a knot in my stomach. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier and thank you for asking me to be here. Your dress is outrageous. You are stunning, like you have this whole Hepburn thing going on with your hair and eyes. Beautiful, Ashley.” He touched the edge of my temple with his fingers, seeming in no hurry to move away and also didn’t seem to notice that almost everyone at our table stared.

I didn’t have words. It was such a simple thing, but in that moment it meant everything. I was next to someone who I’d let in more than anyone but Amy and Kenneth, and I liked him. It finally,
finally
seemed like he might feel the same.

“Thank you,” I whispered back. No way I’d be able to eat, and no way would I be thinking about anything but the man next to me tonight.

* * *

“And then this guy…” Amy’s date leaned toward Kenneth as we stepped out of the restaurant, still talking too loud. “Pulled the best stunt. You
had
to be there.”

I paused on the sidewalk, suddenly not wanting to be in the group anymore.

“You okay?” Brandt paused next to me. “Because a few more minutes in the heat, in this jacket, and you won’t want to be near me.”

“Can we skip out on the theater?” I asked. “These aren’t really my people, and…”

“And the conversation feels like a half-step up from a frat party?” Brandt asked.

My gut sank because he’d think this was me. What I was like and it wasn’t. Maybe that's why he'd pulled away since the night I crashed at his house. “Like I said. These aren’t my people.”

“Come on!” Amy hollered as Brandt and I continued to let them get ahead.

“I’m not feeling good,” I called. “Sorry. Tell your boss thanks for the tickets.”

“Are you sure about this?” Brandt whispered. “I don’t want to take you away from—”

Oh. Crap. “I’m sorry, were you excited about the show, or…”

He took both my hands in his, stopping my heart and then sending it into a sprint. “Honestly, I was looking forward to spending an evening with you. That’s all.”

“Ashley?” Amy called again as she started to pull away from Taylor.

I waved as she continued to slowly walk up the sidewalk. “See you at home!”

She gave me a smirk that said she didn’t buy my story for a second, but that was okay. I’d probably be in desperate need to talk to her after tonight anyway, no matter what did or didn’t happen.

I dropped one hand and kept the other as I started back toward my car. “Did you know there’s a drive-in movie theater here?”

“Of course.” He scoffed. “I grew up here, remember?”

“Oh. Right.”

He gave my hand a squeeze nearly making me stumble. “Sounds perfect.”

To me, too.

* * *

“Wait.” Brandt chuckled as I crawled into the backseat. “This is completely unfair. You get to change into regular clothes?”

“It’s my car. If you hadn’t been
late
, I could’ve warned you,” I teased.

He sighed and suddenly I felt bad for teasing.

I slid out of my dress and threw on my tank top before realizing I had no bra with me. Nice. I snatched my shorts next, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Though, he was a guy. “What kept you?”

The pause was long enough for the mood in the car to change from teasing, to something more weighted.

“A kid I had for alcohol treatment about a year ago. He’s going through a rough time, and stopped in. He’s not the kind to just stop by unless it’s serious, so…”

Josh
. It’s all I can think. Josh went in and out of state rehab as part of parole three times. He was caught with weed on him next to the gas station when he got in a fistfight, and the other two had to do with fighting with his dad, at which point his dad blamed his “anger management” problem. I’m not sure how Josh didn’t end up in foster care or how his dad never ended up in jail, but if I know Josh, it was because he covered for his dad again and again. Hoping for some recognition. Love. Anything.

Would things have been different for Josh if one of his counselors had been Brandt? I’m not sure.

“Good of you,” I said as I slid back into the front, my chest suddenly tight. “Actually, really great.”

Brandt’s eyes were hard on me. “And here I thought the backless dress was distracting.”

I glanced down at my black tank. Definitely obvious I was missing a bra. “Eyes on the movie.” I shoved his arm, glad to be back to something like teasing. "
Psycho
is a classic, and I'll not be missing any of it."

“Of course.” A corner of his mouth quirked up.

And now it felt like a date, but a relaxed one. His jacket was in the back with his tie. His shirt was unbuttoned and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. I let myself watch him for a moment. His clean shaved face, and strong jaw. The hard muscles so obvious under his white shirt, and I’d seen his legs what felt like a hundred times when we ran, but the way his black pants cut around his thighs… And here he was in my car, because I’d asked him, because his kids were out of town.

“Eyes on the movie,” he teased, but his eyes didn’t leave the screen and his smirk was enough for me to know it was okay.

Actually, it was all way better than okay.