After All (11 page)

TWELVE

Brandt

I lounged in my office chair still high from my talk with Ashley last night.  From just sitting on the porch with her. The moment she closed her eyes Ree had to wag her brows, and Trevor’s grin was as wide as his face, but we just talked. Like we hadn’t done in way too long. Now that Ashley and me were actually moving forward, I wondered why I hadn’t asked her out right away. It felt so good. Full of possibility and newness, and I finally understood why Cooper was always trying to set me up.

Although, I did still need to talk to Ree and Trevor a bit. Make sure they were okay with it. Talk about what happens if things don’t work out… I also needed to tell Ashley about the mess with Jessica, but I should probably talk to the kids about that first, too. My gut tightened at the thought. I’d only known her just over a month and already I didn’t want to lose her.

“Got a minute?”  Gabby stepped into my office, closing the door behind her.

Oh, no
. I’d forgotten to race out of here at lunch.

“Yeah, but I’m kind of buried.” I gestured to my desk, littered with papers.

“You seemed off in dreamland,” she said. It was in a questioning way, or accusatory, but still, she was right.

I rubbed both hands over my face a few times trying to snap out of my haze. “Yeah. Tired I guess.”

Gabby smoothed down her hair a few times as she glanced around the room and shifted her weight. “I’m just going to say it.”

“No, I—” I wanted to stop her before she started, but I wasn’t fast enough.

“I like you, Brandt. I’ve met your kids and we get along, and I like you. I just… I don’t know. I guess I’m saying I want to spend some time with you. You know, if you want.” She sucked in a breath and held it for long enough that I got worried before letting it go.

Now when I was supposed to say something. “I can’t, Gabby.”

“You worried about the kids?” she asked.

“Yes, but that’s not—”

“Can’t stand me?” she teased half-heartedly.

“No, it’s that—”

“Because I know you’re not dating anyone else. You’ve never dated anyone, and I…” Her face fell with the expression on mine. “You
are
seeing someone else,” she said slowly.

I nodded. “It just sort of happened.”

Gabby stared at the floor for a few moments, and the selfish part of me wished she would just get up and go. Instead her eyes caught mine. “Anyone I know?” She tried to sound bright, but failed, and I hated that I hurt her feelings, but I couldn’t help mine.

“No one you know.” I shook my head. “You might have met her when you came to my house for the theater…”
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Gabby’s face went red, but in embarrassment, not anger. At this point, anger might be better. “You were seeing her then? Why didn’t you—”

“No, no.” I waved my hands between us feeling all the millions of things wrong with me telling Gabby they’d met. What an ass.
Learn when to keep your mouth shut, Brandt.
“We weren’t dating then. She was watching a movie with the kids.”

“
Marie’s
friend?” Gabby’s brows went up. “The girl in the sweats who looks Marie’s age?”

“She’s not Marie’s age,” I snapped hating that’s where her mind went.

Lead hit my stomach. Would other people think that? When I drove around with the three of them would people think she was my
daughter
? Our age different wasn’t that bad, was it? I pinched my nose as I thought about what Ashley’s reaction to someone calling her my kid, and then realized she’d probably find it hilarious.

“So, what is she?
Twenty
?” Gabby scoffed. “I thought you were better than that, Brandt. You just don’t seem like the type.”

And before I could ask her what she meant, she stood up and was gone.

That could have gone better. Wondered if tomorrow would be better or worse…

* * *

All week, Gabby’s words kept etching in, even though I didn’t want them to. It’s not like I was
looking
for someone younger, it just happened. Ashley moved in next door with her great taste in music and gorgeous eyes, and easy temperament… Well… and a like for my children.

Only a few days, and I missed her like a lovesick teen. She was slammed because she’d gotten a job typing up transcripts, and that’s all she’d done outside of our morning runs, and her internship. I was really looking forward to our weekend because a brief, sweaty kiss or a quick hug after three to six miles wasn’t the same as just being together.

On my drive home from work I tried to focus on talking to Marie and Trevor about Ashley. Marie had been with Alex, and Trevor had been running with the team to get ready for football, and we hadn’t had a chance, but we needed to make the time before we all drove out together.

Wait a second… I hadn’t even thought about sleeping arrangements. Cooper’s cabin wasn’t a cabin. Mine definitely was. I could sleep on the couch and Ashley could take my bed, and the kids would share the small loft like always. Or maybe Ashley and I… Nope. Not in a small cabin. Not with Marie Trevor. Definitely not this soon. The energy of planning time with someone new flooded my thoughts. I’d never felt so old and completely out of touch.

The moment I turned off my car, a guy's yelling jolted me back to the present, and I glanced over to Ashley’s where she was backed against the wall of her house with an enormous man standing over her.

I scrambled with my seatbelt, and the thing took me three tries before I snapped out of it my hands shook so hard. Marie stepped onto the porch with wide eyes.

“Call 911,” I told her. “Now.”

I ran up Ashley’s porch and jumped between her and the guy, pushing him away, and realizing slightly too late that he was twice my size.

The stale smell of beer hit my nose just before his fist connected with my face. I staggered backwards, before plowing forward again, keeping myself between him and Ashley.

Ashley stared in shock, and just as I grabbed the handle to her door, Amy opened it from inside.

“Just go away!” Ashley yelled to the hulk in front of me.

Tears from being hit in the nose streamed down my cheeks and blood poured down my face, leaving metallic taste in my mouth, but I was still in shock at the situation, and determined to keep myself between Ashley and this crazy person.

“We have a restraining order against you!” Amy yelled. “Or have you forgotten?”

“I’ve called the cops,” I said, holding my hand between Ashley and the hulk whose face was twisted into anger, and whose eyes pinpointed at Ashley.

He frowned and stepped forward. I put my arm on his chest wondering if the next fist would hurt more or less.

“The cops are on their way,” I said again standing up taller.

The man’s jaw clenched a few times as the tense silence continued. He leaned into me and I pushed against him until he backed up a step.

I turned to check on Ashley but she stalked into the house leaving the front door open and me outside with the huge man. Brilliant.

“Don’t you walk away from me!” the man yelled over my head as I held my ground, keeping him on the porch, hoping I
could
hold him off if I had to.

“Back off.” I turned to face him as I backed up two steps to stand in the doorway, wondering if I was going to have to take another hit from this guy. I swiped at my nose a few more times and tried to put off a lot more bravery than I felt in front of someone who was wider than the oak in my back yard and who may have just broken my nose.

“Here.” Ashley stepped around me. “This is what you want. Right?” She shoved the urn I’d seen her carrying the other day into his arms. “Now
leave me alone
.”

She spun back around, and Amy scowled.

“What the hell did you just do?” Amy yelled. "He gave those to you for a reason!"

The man’s eyes were wide as he clutched the urn, and I took the opportunity to jump inside and lock the door behind me. Not manly, I’m sure. But I could use the excuse that Ashley needed me and I heard footsteps on the porch as the man walked away. I closed my eyes as the pain washed over me. I hadn’t taken a hit since—

“Oh. Brandt.” Ashley put her hands on my face.

“Ree.” Was maybe outside with that crazy man. I spun back around and ran outside, but the giant was in his truck and driving.

I let my shoulders relax, and the throbbing began—starting on my nose and spreading through my skull. My shirt was soaked through with blood, but it could have been so much worse.

Marie stepped back onto the porch. “I watched from inside…” Her eyes caught mine. “Holy, Dad! What happened?”

“Nothing.” I waved. “Go inside. I’m going to have to talk to the cops when they get here. You can order pizza, but it has to be from Bert, OK? Whole wheat crust. I’ll be home late.”
If Ashley lets me stick around to figure out what’s going on.

“Brandt.” Ashley’s voice was soft and full of concern as her hand rested on my arm. “I’m so sorry.”

I turned to face her, eyes filled with worry, but no sign of tears or fear, which is what I expected.

I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pressed it onto my nose, trying to ignore Ree’s satisfied smile over Ashley.

“Come inside.” Ashley put her arm around me and led me in.

I was just about to ask who that man was when Amy’s fierceness swept through the room.

“I can’t believe you turned over Josh!” Amy yelled as soon as we closed the door.

“I didn’t,” Ashley snapped. “How stupid do you think I am? I moved him after they called the first time.”

Amy stopped, stunned.

“You…
moved
him?” Amy asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He’s in a Snapple bottle in my purse.” Ashley grabbed my arm and moved toward the kitchen without glancing at either of us.

“
You put Josh’s ashes in a Snapple bottle?”
Amy’s mouth dropped open. “And you’re carrying him everywhere? This is
not
why he gave you his ashes! It’s why he didn’t want his dad to have them!”

I was so confused, I didn’t know how to start asking questions, and I was mad at myself for not asking Ashley about the urn sooner, but there’s really no way to bring that up in casual conversation.

Ashley led me to the sink and got a dishtowel wet. She pried my hands from my face so she could see my nose, but I could have been anyone. Her words were focused on Amy. “I washed it first, and Josh
loved
Snapple.”

“I…” Amy’s jaw was still wide.

“Who’s Josh?” I asked, and it’s like they both suddenly realized I was in the room, even though I stood between them, and both sets of eyes were on me.

“You don’t know who Josh is yet?” Amy folded her arms. “Ashley.
Really
?”

A million things crashed in on me at once. A friend died. Or a boyfriend. Or a brother. Or maybe even a husband. And someone else wanted his ashes, and they thought they had them.

What would happen when he realized he didn’t?

“Ashley, I love you, but this is ridiculous.” Amy sighed. “Brandt? Keep her with you if you can, okay? Stuff like this tends to hit her hours after the fact, and that’s when she’ll fall apart. I need out of here.”

The door slammed. Ashley muttered, “I don’t
fall apart
.”

“Amy’s mad,” I said because it honestly felt the safest thing to talk about.

“Yep.” Ashley continued to gently dab at my nose. “She gets pissed when I don’t tell her things. And she also gets mad because she thinks I pretend that Josh was just my friend and not everyone’s. She would have never let me put him in a Snapple bottle, but I think he’s a lot happier now.”

“I’m sure he is,” I said, still stunned. “Who was Josh?”

She ran the cloth under the cold water again, but she wouldn’t look in my eyes, still concentrating on my face. “My best friend. My soul mate. My… There aren’t really words for who Josh was to me.”

“So you two…” I was an asshole. Right in that moment. Ass. Hole. Because what was I thinking? The dead guy was competition. If I was being honest. What I should have been doing is wondering why this hadn’t come up before. The restraining order and the ashes.

Fortunately, Ashley snorted. “Guys. Seriously. Josh was gay. He slept at my house more often than not. We shared a bed often. And his dad used to beat him up, and I used to fix him up. Your nose isn’t broken by the way.”

“Oh.”

“But I think your shirt’s ruined.”

I glanced down and peeled the blood soaked shirt off, using the dry back to do another swipe of my face and chest. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home sooner, or that…”

“You got punched in the face for me when you didn’t need to. I had to make him think I’d never give in, or he would have thought to check the ashes. I didn’t mean for you to get involved. Amy’s pissed because I didn’t tell her that Mom told me Josh’s parents knew where we moved to. Someone let slip that we got Amy’s Uncle’s house, and I didn’t want to tell her because I knew what she’d say.”