After Forever (22 page)

I knocked at Little’s door but as I expected
there was not any reply. Finally I entered after waiting for a long
while, but to my surprise the room was vacant.

I panicked and rushed to the washroom but it
was open. So I searched every petite corner of the house but they
were nowhere.

“They must have gone to school” I mumbled to
myself though I had a feeling something was not right. It is said
that our mind is more inclined towards the negative aspects and
that was happening with me at this moment. My every neuron was
filled with baseless negative thoughts, I tried to compose myself
and decide to wait till the evening and so that the time could
water the fire burning the relations.

I took an off from work as I was having a
plutonic feeling of being draped in a sly web, I could never come
out of moreover it could be the best time to write for the
deadline, I had wasted the last night too so this day was a bliss
for me.“Sometimes being alone, on your own is not so lonely”, I
mumbled to myself. I went upstairs to my room to grab my laptop and
start writing as soon as possible, and hopefully finish it before
evening so that I am left with editing only. I moved towards my
study table, in the corner towards the left but my laptop was not
there. I looked for it everywhere even in the kid’s room but could
not find it.

I was in shock, how was it even possible.
The thought of last night made me tremble. I hurried towards my
phone to call their friends. I called almost every person they have
ever spoken to but none has seen them, at least not after
yesterday.

I called Clay but he did not responded so I
left him a voice message.

I went to the cops and told them everything
but they heard it and started talking among themselves and laughing
as if I was a psychotic mad person who should better be
ignored.

Nevertheless, it really doesn't matter how
high the odds are against me, for I will rise above them. I was not
going to stop. I went to every possible place where I had the
slightest hope of finding them.

It was so hard to believe that it was only
last month when I found the cure of my pain, the reason to laugh
once again, to live my life and laugh with a veritable smile and I
lost it again.

I was unanswerable to what might have
happen…was it really the software?? Oh!! What was I thinking?? I
had lost every bit of sanity but the situations were supporting it.
Was I never going to see the kids again! Even this thought gave me
chills, there was a blackout in front of my eyes, my breath went
down, my lips got dried, and my brain got numb… “No! I could not
afford losing them! What have I done?” I said to myself almost
huffing.

Standing in front of the mirror, I came to
the harsh realization that I fell short of the paradigm of a
mother. The reflection that stared back was of an evil step-mother
who ate her children. The entire life of a mother is devoted in
thriving her children, enduring their ever mischievous doings
happily and still loving them massively and unceasingly. I had
always had sumptuous dreams and high aspirations. I never noticed
how hard it might be to achieve something that you really want.
Most people spend their whole lives searching to give meaning to
their lives and I have got everything but I made a fool of myself
and lost everything in a blink just like that.

I was lost and sad. At that moment I
realized a demon is not always grilled in oven by someone else,
sometimes his own karmas do the favor, my hate, and my hideous
karmas have paid for me. I was locked inside my own devious hatred
whose key was lost forever.

Suddenly the window opened making me jolt
for a brief second and I saw Angel and Little standing there
smiling at me. I was so happy to see them, like I was when I have
saw them for the first time. I hurried towards them to hug them and
never let them go. The last twenty four hours have been like hell
for me making me repent every single thought of mine, how I can
even think all that crap. But now my kids were here and I will
never let them go again ever. I rushed towards the window, amazed
that their smile was getting foxier and sly. The window pane was
covered with glass, I tried to push it but it was of no use. When I
asked kids to help me, they started laughing. I was astonished, it
was only then that I noticed that they were in my room making me
confused. How was it even possible and I whispered to myself “the
software”. Everything was clearer to me now, why I could not find
kids, why Clay was not answering my calls, why cops were acting
like I don’t exist. I felt my heart drop to the floor. What I had
felt till now, the love, the care everything was just a mirage, a
betrayal. I remembered what I wrote last night “And she never saw
them again. The End”,WordsAlive – really made the words come alive
but it was me who was lost. Every word of theirs was moving around
me “You are evil! You are mean! ” everything. Now I realized the
reason for making me mad, why they had gifted me with this
software, why they did not let me do anything….and many other
why’s…!!!

But now it was too late, there was no way
out. I was feeling hurt and broken still unsure that what cracks us
more, betrayal or faith? Somehow still I was sure that there will
be a day which will emblaze my soul with their love, when I will be
with Clay again, when all this pain and agony will end and I just
have to hold my fire till that moment come, maybe after
forever….

Angel shut down the windows on my face and I
was forever trapped!!

Cynder and Ella

By: Amanda Alberson

©2014 by Amanda Alberson

Cynder held his books tightly beneath his
grey hoodie as the rain soaked him from head to toe. He watched as
the taillights of Andy’s F150 disappeared into the morning haze.
Why should this year be any different? Just because it was his
senior year? Because this bullshit had been going on for over 8
years now? Because he dared to hope maybe one day his step brothers
would grow up just a little? No chance. They were still
self-centered, spoiled momma’s boys, and he was still the unwanted
burden. The only thing he could be thankful for on this particular
morning was the fact they dropped him off a few blocks closer than
they normally did. He begged his dad to let him take the bus,
pleaded to get a summer job so he could get his own car, anything
to not have to hitch a ride with them. His father insisted he
needed to stay focused on his grades so there was no time for a
job, and his step mother said the bus was for people beneath them.
As far as Cynder could see he was the people beneath her. While her
sons attended the prestigious Tremaine Private Academy, Cynder was
dropped off, often several blocks before the run down public
school. While they had the finest of everything, Cynder made do
with what he could get. He refused to complain to his father, who
seemed blind to it all.

Cynder’s mother died when he was five, some
hospital born strain of Staph infection she picked up one night on
a late shift. His father didn’t speak of her or her death very
often. Cynder asked about his name when he was seven, his father
looked wistfully into the air and smiled as if sharing an inside
joke with the clouds.

“Your mother named you. We met in Arizona
you know. I was hiking the Grand Canyon. I thought it would make me
a man to venture into the wild and conquer the vast wilderness, in
all honesty I was lost as hell when I ran across your mother. It
was getting dark, and cold and I heard a strange sobbing wail from
around the next bend in the trail. Unarmed, my heart about to climb
through my chest I turned the corner to find the most beautiful
woman I’ve ever seen bent over the ashes of a fire crying. She
screamed when she saw me, which scared me so bad I screamed with
her. The echo of my manly screech had us both laughing so hard we
couldn’t stop.

‘Are you okay? I heard you crying.’

She dropped her shoulders and looks
mournfully down at the remains of her fire.

‘I got turned around and lost, so I decided
I would camp here tonight and find my way back out tomorrow, but my
fire died.’ She looked around into the darkness that fell over us
like a thick star studded blanket and shivered.

‘It’s not out, you still have some cinders
here at the bottom that are hot.’ I bent down and began feeding the
small embers of fire. She knelt next to me and our eyes met, I knew
right then she was the only woman for me. Gentle and brave but
sweet and vulnerable, I wanted nothing more than to stay there with
her for the rest of our lives. When the tiny flames began to
flicker to life she gasped.

‘I didn’t think I was going to make it
through the night.’

‘Sometimes a cinder is all you need to start
a fire that can consume the night.’

And there it was. When she found out she was
pregnant she knew, you were her cinder, you would one day consume
the world and make it a brighter, better place.”

As he sloshed towards the front of the
school the world did not seem at all brighter or better with him in
it.

He normally kept extra clothes in his gym
locker, for dark, rainy days, but today was the first day so he
sloshed from class to class cursing his bad luck and his rotten
step brothers.

By fourth period he was merely damp, but a
dank, moldy smell clung to him. Lunch was spent in the boy’s
restroom using the hand dryers in a vain effort to dry and air out
his clothes. By the end of the school day his mood fit the stormy
skies outside.

Trudging slowly Cynder thought hard about
slugging one if not both of his step brothers when they stepped
through the front door. He would beat them home since they always
stayed after for football and then went out with, which ever girl
they were entertaining that week, for burgers and shakes. By the
time he turned on his street he was sure he would knock them both
out.

He jerked the mailbox open with a
disgruntled sigh and found a silver, glittery envelope inside. It
was simply addressed:

To the Fine young men of the Perrault
household

“Well, I guess that’s me.” Cynder chuckled
to himself as he ran up the stairs. His step mother insisted her
sons use his father’s last name, she stated it kept them from
feeling like outsiders. Cynder knew she just didn’t like people
thinking she’d failed at anything, including a previous marriage.
His father offered to enroll him in Tremaine, a suggestion Cynder
watched his step mother scoff at behind his father’s back. She
would never allow it. While she would never say it in front of his
father, Cynder knew she controlled everything. They lived in her
house, his father worked for her father’s company, they lived in
her and her son’s shadows and by her rules. While his dad made good
money at the company, she never let Cynder forget how quickly that
money could disappear. In his heart he knew the reason his father
was out of town so much was because that’s where she liked him. Her
father made him VP of foreign shipping and trading, which kept him
overseas sometimes months at a time. So he refused his father’s
offer and remained at the public school, remained beneath her and
her sons, remained where she wanted him.

He pulled open the envelope as he fell onto
his bed. From the depths of the shimmery paper came a lace edged
card stock announcing a grand ball at the academy. A smirk curled
the edges of Cynder’s lips.

Pulling on a pair of shorts and a plain
white T, he tossed the invitation on the kitchen island before
heading out the door towards Mrs. Walt’s house. Ever since her
husband passed away two years ago Cynder checked in on her. In the
summer he mowed her lawn, winter he shoveled her drive, and on wet
nasty days like today he would just sit and chat with her, maybe
drive her to the store.

When Winifred Walt opened her door she
adjusted her glasses on the tip of her nose, looking over the thick
lens at Cynder.

“Oh dear, you’re not turning into one of
those shiny vampires are you?” She asked, squinting at him. Cynder
stared back at her for a moment, afraid she had finally lost her
mind.

“I’m teasing you boy, you’re covered in
glitter. Have you seen that movie? Vampires that sparkle…..HA….not
in my day I tell you!” She shuffled to the side, holding the door
open and allowing Cynder into her small home. Cynder loved coming
here, not just because she was a sweet and funny old lady but
because the house somehow always smelled of cinnamon, something
that reminded him fondly of his mother.

After two hours and several glasses of
chilled milk and warm cookies, Cynder waved goodbye to Mrs. Walt,
promising to come back soon and check on her. He could hear his
step brothers arguing loudly before he even opened the door. He
stood in the door frame watching as Andy held the invitation over
his head, Drew jumping at it in vain. Even though they were twins,
Andy was the taller of the two, taller, stronger and probably
better looking if you liked square headed jocks with lots of muscle
and no brains. Drew was slighter built, thin and lanky with an air
about him that screamed egotistical maniac. He had his mother’s
attitude and arrogance, a trait Cynder found horridly unattractive
on both of them.

“Give it to me Andy! I want to read it!”
Drew shouted, jumping at the card again in vain.

“Quit your whining you sissy. I’ll give it
to you when I’m done.”

Cynder crept in, not making a sound as he
stepped behind Andy and snatched the card from his hand. His step
brother swung around his eyes wide with surprise and anger.

“Give it back Cindy.” He growled. Cynder
ignored the petty name calling. They’d been calling him Cindy since
the first night they moved in eight years ago. He remembered the
way they’d swept through the house like twisters, like they owned
the place. Moving things and claiming rooms and chairs and spots on
the couch, knocking his mother’s books off the shelf to put up
their video games and comics. Cynder had stood fuming, tears
threatening to burst from his eyes when his father placed a hand on
his shoulder.