After the Ending (13 page)

Dani

“I think he wants to talk to you about something,” Chris
told me quietly, nodding in Jason’s direction. He walked several paces ahead of
us on the cracked sidewalk.

I watched his confident movements with admiration and
shook my head. “So why doesn’t he just do it?” I asked, thinking back on the
dozens of times throughout the day that Jason had met eyes with me, only to
stride away.

Chris pursed her lips and took a deep breath. “I don’t
know. He’s acting like a little girl.”

Maybe he likes me,
I thought as butterflies
whirled erratically in my stomach.
Maybe he wants to set things straight, to
tell me he’s not interested.
The butterflies turned sickly and died.

Seriously, how old am I?
Jason wasn’t the only one
acting like a little girl.

Lost in thought, I peered around the small town street
we’d been exploring all afternoon. In reality, there hadn’t been much to
explore, and what there
had
been was pretty run-down. The shops had
offered little, but the building we currently approached held promise—it was a
library, and it stood out in its modernity.
Maybe we can find some books on
something useful, like foraging or repairing power plants or building time
machines…

Jason reached the glass door first and held it open for
Chris and me.

“Such a gentleman,” Chris exclaimed as she entered the
building. “Who would’ve thought?” Within seconds she had her assault rifle
drawn and set out on a sweep of the aisles and alcoves.

My entrance, however, was halted by Jason’s firm grip on
my arm. Looking down, I was inappropriately excited to see his gloved hand
wrapped around my sleeve. My heart gave an enthusiastic thump, which I tried to
ignore.

“Jason, what—”

“Can we talk?” He looked down at me intently, his
clenched jaw making the already sharp angles of his face more severe. I briefly
wondered what it would be like to have an irate Jason staring me down as he’d
done to Cece the previous night. I hoped to never find out.

Beside me, Jack barked, and I turned my attention to him.
“It’s okay, Sweet Boy. Go with Chris.”

He whined but trotted off obediently. Not for the first
time I thought,
He might be the smartest dog ever
.

Jason led me inside and locked the door behind us. He
didn’t let go of my arm until he’d dragged me through the open entryway, beyond
several aisles of reference books, and into a secluded nook created by two
towering bookshelves and a sky-blue wall.

“Well?” I asked, pressing my back against the wall while
he paced. Three steps away. Stop. Turn. Three steps back.

Pausing while facing me, Jason stared at the wall a few
inches to the left of my head. “It’s my fault, what happened last night,” he
said quietly.

I shrugged my shoulders in an attempt at nonchalance.
“Oh? I didn’t know anyone was to blame. We’re both adults—a little cuddling’s
no big deal.”
It’s not like I’ve been thinking about it all day or anything
,
I thought sarcastically.

Jason’s eyebrows lowered, and his eyes suddenly locked on
mine. “What? That was—” After a moment of tense silence, he shook the scowl off
his face. “That’s not what I’m talking about. I meant what happened with Cece.”
His pacing resumed.

That was…what? Amazing? A really big mistake?
As I
watched him, the now familiar tangle of emotions—self-loathing, guilt, and
desire—nauseated me.

Taking a deep breath, Jason faced me again. His eyes
bored into mine, imploring. “Before she went to your room, she stopped by mine.
She thought we could just keep…that things would stay the same. After
everything she said to you. After she
hit
you.” His eyes squeezed shut
and his mouth pinched at the corners.

When he finally opened his eyes again, they gleamed. “I
could kill that bitch for what she did.”

My breath caught. “I…I don’t understand,” I said and
stepped away from the wall. “What’s that have to do with what she did to me
last night?” I stopped a foot away from Jason, his size making me feel smaller
than usual.

He squeezed his hands into fists at his sides and gritted
his teeth. “When she came to my room, I turned her away…said I was done with
her, that she disgusted me. I’m pretty sure the next thing she did was sneak
into your room.”

“Jason, it’s—”

“I can’t believe I was so fucking stupid. She could’ve
killed
you.” He reached his gloved hand out but let it drop before he touched me.

“Jason. It’s okay.” In one step, I closed the distance
between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. He was so unbelievably solid.
“I’m okay,” I said against his thick jacket.

He returned the embrace fiercely, lifting me until I was
on tiptoes. With his chin resting on my head, I could feel him swallow, could
feel him clear his throat. I pulled back enough to meet his eyes and inhaled to
speak, but he beat me to it.

“Well,” Jason said hastily, releasing me and taking a
step back, “we should look around. See what trouble Johnson’s gotten into.” He
strode out of the alcove with me following a few steps behind.

Um, okay…

Looking over his shoulder at me, Jason wore his familiar,
knowing half-grin, hiding whatever shreds of real emotion he’d let escape. “You
know, Red, she probably thinks we’ve been playing naughty librarian in a hidden
corner. Too bad you don’t wear glasses…”

I stalked after him, berating myself for enjoying the
images his words conjured. He was so damn frustrating. Whenever he let a hint
of vulnerability show, he would try to fluster me with suggestive comments,
attempting to make me forget. But forgetting was impossible. Seeing that side of
him was like spotting a rare jungle cat—a cherished memory that I’d hold onto
forever.

Shortly after our return to the winery, I found myself flat
on my back on the cold, damp grass behind the house. I stared up at the slowly
darkening steel-gray sky while I recovered my breath. From having it knocked
out of me. Again.

Chris’s smirking face invaded my view of the thick cloud
cover, and she held out her hand.
She could at least have the courtesy to
appear
winded!

“Ugh…Chris…I think…I’m done,” I managed to pant out
eventually.

She leaned down and grasped me under the armpits to haul
me up. “Hon, you’re nowhere near done.” She strode several paces away and sat
on a white bench bordered by bloomless rose bushes. “Come here. We can take a
little break before Jason has a hissy fit.” She finished with an eye roll.

I plopped down next to her. “Maybe I’m just not a
fighter. What if I never get any better?”

“Then you never get better. But that won’t happen.” Chris
watched the two men grappling thirty yards away. Jason had Ky in a particularly
uncomfortable position on the lawn.

“What makes you so sure?”

She caught my eye and grinned conspiratorially. “‘Cause
I’m training you…and I’m awesome.”

I tried to laugh, I really did, but I couldn’t stop
myself from dwelling on the fact that I barely knew anything about Chris. She
definitely
was
awesome, but what else was she? Who had she been before?
Why had she left the base?

“Um…I’ve been thinking,” I said, but hesitated.

Chris laughed softly. “You tend to do that. It drives him
crazy sometimes, you know.”

“I’m sure.” I joined her soft laughter. “But why are you
here? Okay, wow, I didn’t mean that to sound so horrible.” I shook my head in
frustration.

Angling my knees toward her, I tried again. “Why’d you
leave the base with Jason? Why’d any of you leave? When you guys talk about it
you make it sound like you had to escape or something. What…I just don’t
understand…”

Still looking straight ahead, Chris’s eyes became
distant, and she swallowed. “My boys—twins—got sick. They both passed the last
week of November. They were almost five. Would’ve started kindergarten next
fall.” She shook her head, her face reminding me of a stone angel in a
graveyard.

I clasped her hand and cleared my throat, but my voice
was weak when I spoke. “Oh Chris, I’m so sorry. I…I had no idea.”

“Why would you? I didn’t tell anyone. Jason’s the only
one who knew anything about my family before…this.” She gestured mildly with
one hand. “My ex and I’d been divorced for a year. The boys were staying with
him when they got sick. They barely lasted two days, and I blamed him. I wanted
to beat him to death for killing them, but the Virus killed him a few days
later.”

I squeezed her hand, horrified by what she’d been
through.

“Children aren’t supposed to die before their parents.
That’s what everyone says. But dammit, I don’t think any of this was
supposed
to happen,” Chris said desperately.

Of course not
,
I thought.

“Our base was on lockdown. But this was unlike any
lockdown I’d ever seen. Hundreds of soldiers patrolled the perimeter day and
night after the first reported flu death.” She squinted in thought. “That was
in mid-November. I doubt you heard about it…the military kept it quiet. We
heard gunshots all the time. Jason told me…” She shook her head. “He said
people were getting shot when they tried to leave base. I didn’t believe it
until I saw it myself—we
don’t
go after our own, not like that.”

After a long pause she continued, “But the real kicker
was that some people
were
allowed to leave—only if they were wearing a
special yellow armband on both sleeves of their uniform. Like they were chosen.
Like they were ready for this.
None
of it makes sense.”

Unable to speak, I swallowed repeatedly. I felt like a
vacuum had sucked every drop of moisture from my mouth. Her words implied that
the military had known about the Virus…had known about it and had just let it
kill everyone.
My next thought shocked me like a bucket of icy water.
Holy crap…did they
create
the Virus?

Chris started up again, “Jason knew what’d happened to my
family, knew that I needed to get away from that place. They’d been dead for
over a week when he came to me with his plan. So we gathered our little group,
barely
managed to steal some of the yellow armbands…that was really weird actually.
The guy guarding ‘
em
was literally about to shoot us
until Jason stepped closer to talk him down—it was like the guard got really
confused all of a sudden. Anyway, we got the hell outta there a few hours
later. It didn’t go the way we’d planned, but we got out.”

Finally looking at me, Chris said, “And now we’re here.”

I sat back heavily against the bench. “Um…okay. Wow.”

“Well, now I need to blow off some steam,” she patted my
thigh. “Run through the exercises I taught you. Twice.” Chris stood abruptly
and marched straight for Jason and Ky.

Her opening strike at Jason was the last thing I noticed
before I lost myself to the yoga-like poses. As I replayed her words and
considered the possibility that somebody had orchestrated the end of
civilization, images of maniacal scientists danced through my head.

“Bend your knees more, but keep your back straight,” Ky
said behind me.

Startled, I fell on my butt. “What is it with you Green
Berets? Did you all take advanced classes in ‘how to sneak up on people’ or
something?” I complained, picking myself up and brushing off my stretchy black
pants.

When I rounded on Ky, he held his hands in the air like
he was caught in a stick up, but merriment crinkled the corners of his slanted
eyes. “Sorry, D.”

“D.” I smiled sadly and shook my head. “Cam…that’s what
he called me.” I resumed my previous pose, appearing to sit on an invisible
chair.

Looking down at the slightly overgrown grass, Ky stuck
his hands into his pants pockets and said, “Oh, um…sorry. I won’t…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s also what Zoe calls me…she’s
Jason’s sister,” I clarified. “Hearing you call me that makes me feel a little
better…reminds me of before.” I lowered myself to the ground for the next
position. “You know, being around you guys makes this whole thing easier to
deal with. Everybody’s lost someone—lots of
someones
really. We’re all going through the same thing. Plus, I think Chris is magical
or something. It’s like she draws the sucky feelings out and heals me from
inside. She makes me feel…okay.”

I laughed breathily,
Can
he tell I’m serious? He’ll think I’m
nutso
!

Ky sat down on the bench and watched Chris and Jason
spar. I was surprised by how well Chris was holding her own against Jason.

I looked up at Ky. “Sorry, that was probably way more
info than you wanted.”

“No worries. It’s good to hear someone talk about what’s
going on.” He gestured toward the estate house. “These guys aren’t big on
sharing. The military doesn’t exactly draw in the touchy-feely type. So we walk
around pretending everything’s cool, but really all this repression just turns
us into hair-trigger dickheads.”

Tell me about it,
I thought as I stood to stretch
my tired muscles.

Ky continued, “I, uh, I’ve noticed that about Chris too.
We should all be freaking out way more, but something about her…I don’t know.
It’s like she
really
does something. And—” He paused to take a deep
breath. “There’s something else. Have you noticed anything different? About
you, I mean.”

About me? Like what? Like Zoe?
“Um…no?” I sat down
beside him. “Have
you
?”

Ky closed his eyes for so long I thought he might not
answer. He raised one eyelid, watching me through the narrow slit. “I get these
feelings. It’s been happening ever since I recovered. From the Virus, I mean.”