Against the Odds: A Love Story (6 page)

Feeling more than a little uncomfortable with the tanned blond present, I turned to start putting the groceries away when Caroline stood and moved to stand by me. The blatantly annoyed look she gave Hayden was definitely not missed by either of us. She smiled, placing her hand on my arm. “Debra, this is my friend, Raine. Raine, this is Debra Carson. She lives up the road a piece. I got to know her mother well before she passed away.”

“It's good to meet you,” I said, looking down at the voluptuous woman.

“Good to meet you too,” she said back.

I watched her eyes roam over me briefly, then instantly dismiss me. She casually adjusted her low cut blouse making it even lower.

Now that was a floozy move if I ever saw one.
My eyes narrowed as she stood and moved closer to Hayden.

“So, what are your plans today, handsome?” She smiled and slipped an arm around his waist.

Her words were like a stab to my heart, causing a pain I had never experienced before. Before Hayden could answer, I said, “I'm going to see if Tom needs any help in the stable.” I quickly turned and left.

Words are faulty, unless it's the heart that is doing the talking.

Eight

W
alking toward the horse stable, I blinked back the tears stinging my eyes. I kept asking myself how I could let my emotions get away from me this way. How had this happened? I thought I was being strong. I had fought so hard against these feelings because I hadn't wanted them, but they had persisted, tying my insides up in knots. And truthfully, I was beyond fighting them now.

I walked into the stable and found Tom pitching some fresh straw into one of the stalls.

“Need any help?” I asked, keeping my voice level and emotion-free.

He looked up at me with surprised eyes and smiled. “No, I think I got it covered.”

I fell quiet for a minute, not really knowing what to do with myself. I wasn't about to go back into the house. Not if I could help it. “Are you sure?” I finally asked again.

Tom looked at me again and I saw a trace of sympathy in his eyes.

“Tell you what. Why don't you do these last few stalls for me while I go and help David with some things.”

I smiled, relieved. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He handed me the pitchfork and left.

Left alone with my thoughts, I stabbed at the bale, loosening more straw, and tossed it into the stall Tom had been working on. I figured tossing straw in was a lot better than having to muck the stalls out. I continued to work, doing my best to keep my thoughts away from Caroline's kitchen where Hayden was, with Debra, the 'Blond cowgirl.' I tried, but I couldn't keep myself from agonizing over who the woman was to Hayden.

It was obvious from the way Debra looked at Hayden that there had been something between them. At least it seemed that way. And what about Hayden's reaction to seeing her? He hadn't even thought to introduce us. Caroline finally had to do it. It was almost as if I wasn't there, like I had suddenly turned invisible or something.

I heaved a frustrated sigh. I knew I had no right to be upset with Hayden. No reason at all. He had been a good friend to me and he was free to spend time with whoever he wanted to. There was nothing between us, and though I had feelings for him, I doubted that he felt anything other than friendship for me. That thought, most of all hurt deeply.

I sighed again. He was an incredible man, too beautiful and too perfect for words. And I knew I would never be more to him than I already was. I would just have to be all right with that. Maybe this was to be my lot in life. Maybe all I would ever be to any man worth having was a friend. If that was all I could ever be to Hayden, then I would have to deal with it. This is what I told myself, but it did nothing to quell the ache I carried inside.

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't even hear Hayden approach.

“You keep forking that straw in there like that, there ain't gonna be room for the horse.” He smiled and popped a strawberry into his mouth. I figured he must have taken it from the container we bought for Caroline. His shirt was now unbuttoned and hanging open, exposing the hard muscles of his tanned chest and torso.

I looked at the stall and paused in my work, chagrined as I realized I had practically pitched two whole bales of straw into the one stall. I chuckled. “I'll bet Tom will never let me do this again.” I felt myself sober a bit, but I quickly smiled again and turned away, not wanting him to see the pain in my eyes. Nor did I want him to see how just being near him now affected me. I was beginning to think about things I hadn't fully allowed myself to. Things like how it would feel to have his massive arms around me, the smell and feel of his skin, and the sensation and taste of his kiss. I had never had these kinds of thoughts before, not even about Jerome. And I had married him!

Shake it off, girl!
I shook my head slightly, attempting dislodge the painful thoughts and began removing some of the straw from the stall.

“No, leave it,” he said playfully, taking the pitchfork from my hands. “At least the horse will be comfy.”

I smiled. “Stop making fun of me,” I said, shoving him.

He suddenly got that mischievous look in his eyes I knew so well. “Shove me again, woman and you'll be wearing that straw.”

“Are you threatening me?” I asked, shoving him again.

“All right now. You're asking for it.”

Just as I was about to shove him a third time, his large hands shot out and grabbed my waist. I laughed and struggled to get away, but it was a futile attempt. He pick me up and slung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and entered the stall.

“Hayden McKade, don't you dare!” I yelled.

“Why not? Don't you wanna try out this straw? It's nice and fresh.”

“No, I don't. Put me down or so help me I'll . . .” I didn't get a chance to say more because the next thing I knew, he knelt and dropped me in the straw.

“I can't believe you!” I said with a laugh.

“Well, you told me to put you down,” he said, smiling down at me. “So I did.”

“You know I'll get you back for this,” I said, gripping the front of his shirt in my hands.

“I know,” he said, his voice surprisingly raspy. He quickly sobered, his expression changing as he looked into my eyes.

As I lay there looking up at him, my heart began to beat wildly, almost hammering through my chest. Something was happening. I could feel it. We continued to wordlessly stare at one another when his gaze moved to my mouth. My breathing became shallow as he placed his hands on either side of me in the straw. He slowly lowered himself against me and teased the corner of my mouth with a light kiss. I released a breathy sigh and my lips parted slightly. When that happened his whole mouth descended upon mine in an instantly heated exchange.

A soft moan escaped me, coming from deep inside as his moist mouth claimed mine, his lips caressing mine, plying them with burning affection. He pulled me tighter against him, so tight that I could feel his heart beating madly. His mouth tasted sweet, like the strawberry he'd eaten. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed a hand into his thick hair. His beard was prickly against my skin as he continued to administer his driven kisses, but I loved it. I loved
him
. Deep down  I think I had loved him from day one.

After another moment, his kiss softened. He made a pleasurable noise as his lips lightly toyed with mine. Then he buried his hand in my hair, gently tugged my head back slightly, and pressed a warm lingering kiss in the hollow of my neck, making me shudder.

“You smell so good,” he whispered. He pulled back slightly. “And you taste just like I thought you would.”

“And how is that?” I whispered back.

“Like warm honey,” he growled against my mouth. He finally rolled on to his back and pulled me against him. I rested my head against his chest. He took my hand and pressed it against his lips, and the feel of his mouth again sent shivers of pleasure through me.

“You don't know how long I've wanted to be with you like this,” he said, breaking the silence. His voice was even raspier and his breath was hot on my skin.

“How long?” I breathed, not able to believe I was with him this way, and that he was saying these things to me.

Instead of answering, he released my hand and lifted my chin, urging me to look at him. After a moment, he said, “There's nothing going on with me and Debra.” When I said nothing, he went on. “She's a fun girl and we used to have a lot of laughs, but that's all there was to it. She's nothing more than a friend. I made that clear to her today, so I doubt she'll be coming back this way for a while.”

I raised up and leaned into him, pressing my hand over his beard, pausing to run a finger across his lips. “Then what am I?” I asked, feeling tingly all over.

He tightened his arms around me and looked into my eyes. “You're the woman who has had my heart twisting in the wind from the moment I met you.” He smiled, caressing my back with his long fingers. “When we went to Dale's that day and you managed to charm
him
, a crusty old farmer, that was it for me. If I knew nothing else that day, I knew I wanted you to be mine.”

I smiled widely, not able to believe he'd really felt that way. “But why haven't you said anything before now?”

He pushed a hand back through his chestnut locks and sighed, staring up at the stable roof for a moment. “I don't know. Truthfully, I think I was scared. I was scared of scaring you. I mean, it had only been six months or so since your marriage ended and I figured you'd want to stay as far away from another relationship as possible. Besides,” he added with a smile, “I'm just a sweaty old cowboy.”

I sighed, raising up. He pulled me on top of him and I looked down into his eyes, smiling. “Sweaty is good. It means you're a hard worker. You're not soft. And you're right, I didn't want to get involved with anyone. I wasn't ready. But to be honest, my marriage was over long before the divorce. When I married Jerome, I wasn't in love. It was a purely shallow decision. He was successful, a very desired bachelor and he gave me attention. I eventually grew to care for him very much, but it was never truly like it should have been. Mama had raised me to be an old fashioned girl. She told me I needed to save myself for the person I intended to marry. Sadly, I didn't take her advice. I let my head be turned and my morals be altered.” I paused, looking into his eyes intently. “I have enough respect for myself now that I won't let that happen again.”

He moved his hand from my back and buried it in my hair once more, crushing the curls in his fingers. “I'm glad.” He smiled, causing me to melt inside like butter in a hot skillet. Then his expression turned serious. “If I just wanted someone to warm my bed, I could get that from Debra with no problem. I mean, I'm not completely innocent where women are concerned, but I ain't a rambler either.”

Try as I might, I couldn't stop myself from asking, “Have you . . .  have you ever been with her in that way? I mean, I know you said there was never anything serious between you two, but . . . sometimes that doesn't matter.”

When he didn't answer, I averted my eyes and started to pull back a little, wishing I had never asked him. That was his business. Just as I was about to tell him that, he touched a finger to my lips and held me against him.

“Look at me, baby,” he finally said, and I bravely raised my eyes to his. “I didn't say there was never anything serious between us. I said there was never anything between us, period. That's not what I wanted.”

I smiled then. “So, what
do
you want?”

He tightened his arm around my waist possessively. “I want you, darlin'. In the worst way.”

“I'm glad, because I want you too.” I sighed softly and rested my head against his solid chest, feeling heat radiating from his skin.

“I always wanted you for mine, Raine. And I gotta tell you, it pretty near drove me insane to see Chris gawking at you the way he was. I figured I had best nip that in the bud real quick.”

I raised up and grinned. “I wondered why he stopped asking me to help him. I guess you were making your claim even then, huh?”

“Dang straight I was. And when I came in the stable that last time and he had his arms on either side of you supposedly showing you how to bridle a horse, I darn near flew apart.” When I chuckled, he said, “You laugh all you want, sugar, but I was pretty near ready to rope that boy up by his boots.”

I tried to stifle a laugh, but I couldn't. As soon as the mental picture of poor Chris hanging upside down by his boots with Hayden holding the end of the rope entered my mind, I lay back in the straw and roared with laughter. Hayden started laughing as well.