Against the Wall (17 page)

My brother lives up north. For the most part, we communicate through email and text messages. “I have a lot of talent this year. I’m finally teaching mostly advanced classes so I get to see some really mature work.”

Being a high school art teacher was my brother’s goal since his passion developed in the tenth grade. He does a lot with his students. They have art shows at their school, and he really goes above and beyond anything I’ve seen before. And his own work is great. I can barely draw a stick figure. I’m so jealous of his talent. Maybe jealous is the wrong word. I’m more like in awe of him.

“
How wonderful. I’m so proud of you,” I squeal. I’m so the typical little sister who adores her big brother. He’s never given me any reason not to.

“
Thanks, sis,” he says, ruffling my hair like I’m still five years old.

I take the last sip of my drink, and shake the ice around. “Why don’t you go fetch me another drink though? I’ve been here for less than thirty minutes and mom has already shit on me twice.”

“
Two times. That’s it?” he teases. “She’s getting soft in her old age.”

“
Make that two drinks,” Mel says.

Tyler swoops her up in a giant embrace. “Melly belly. Hi.”

“
Hey, Ty Ty,” she yelps. “When are you gonna transfer down here and get your ass back to town. You know, all the local schools have art programs, don’t you?” she says sarcastically.

“
No way. Look at the air here. I can’t imagine painting in this gloom every day. It’d be so depressing.” He contorts his face in disgust. “But I hear they teach English at my school. You could always transfer up there.” He winks at her.

“
Oh hell, get a room.” I look at them, still in each other’s arms and walk away to get my own damn drink. Those two have been flirting like crazy since we were in high school. I always thought Mel would eventually become my sister-in-law, but when we went off to college, she met Nick. Now that dipshit Nick is out of the picture, Tyler lives about six hours away. Their timing couldn’t be more off.

Maybe there’s still hope. Okay, probably not but I’ve always thought they’d make such a cute couple. Mel could probably fit in his pocket, she’s so tiny in comparison. She’s this stylish little pixy girl, and my brother is tall, thin, and a casual artsy guy. Her designer boots with his worn Chucks would clash if it were any other couple, but they’re individuality just complements each other. I can just picture their coffee table sprinkled with a mixture of the classics and technical books on various forms of brush strokes. She’s really loud and brazen, and he’s a major goofball. And they’re both my best friends.

Dad was right. There
are
a lot of single men here. I take a glance at a few who look familiar but can’t place their names. Probably sons of my mother’s friends. Just one look at their choice in beverages and I know they’re not for me. Go figure. All the eligible guys in my mom’s rolodex would be either wine or piss beer drinkers.

Maybe I should rethink my strategy. Not. It’s working so far. No need to shake things up just yet.

“
Shelly, dear, I’ve been looking all over for you.” It’s not like it’d be hard to find me, this isn’t a mansion. My mother hooks her arm in mine. “I have some friends I’d like you to meet.”

“
Mother, I really don’t want to meet a slew of horny bankers,” I snicker.

She gives me a look of disapproval and I know she couldn’t care less what I want.

“
Mother, really. If and when I’m ready to meet someone, I can do it on my own,” I say, slowing my stride, hoping she’ll cut me loose.

“
And look how well doing it on your own turned out for you,” she barks. “You’re almost forty. If I’m going to ever have grandchildren, I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.”

“
Forty? Do you have some other daughter I don’t know about. I’m barely over thirty. And who said anything about making babies?” The thought of letting my own children be poisoned by this women makes me sick. I swear, if I ever have my own kids, I will be nothing like her. Nothing.

“
Shush, now,” is all she says.

Losing the battle to spring free, we make our way onto the patio and my mother begins her parade of men.

“
You remember Michael, don’t you?” she says, as if it’s a real question.

Michael puts out his hand, and I take it to be considerate. I almost gag when he brings it to his lips for a kiss. Gross. I need to wash the back of my hand later. His Tom Seleck mustache takes me back to the 80s. Not even a goatee, just a mustache.

“
And this is, Kevin.” She whisks me off to the next gentlemen who seems shy. He nods, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He’s cute. And no stache in sight. Whew.

I put my hand out to him, and he shakes it with about as much force as a newborn puppy. “Nice to meet you, Kevin.” I could just stay here and talk to Waldo all night. He seems harmless. I don’t know how he made it past my mother’s checklist. His mom probably lied to her. He seems a lot more appealing than the rest of these idiots in suits. C’mon, this isn’t a business meeting. Just a family party.

“
Move along now, Shelly,” my mother kindly whispers in my ear.

“
I’ll be back, Kevin,” I say, winking at him.

“
Oh no you won’t.” She pinches the inside of my arm. Son of a testicle. That effing hurt. Seriously, she wants me to meet these losers with tears welling up in my eyes. The sting penetrates my entire arm and I want to punch her.

“
Mother, if you do that again, I’m leaving,” I whisper through gritted teeth and I have to do battle with my senses so I don’t pinch her back.

She ignores me, of course. “Oh, Gordon, I’m so glad you were able to make it. Your mom wasn’t sure you would with all the traffic coming in from Santa Barbara.” Gordon—oh no!—takes my mother’s hands in his and gives her this “all mothers love me” grin, and he kisses both her cheeks. Gag me. “This is my daughter, Shelly. She’s a high school English teacher.” And then my mother disappears. Really? This is who you leave me with Mother? Gordon? There are still at least four remaining bachelors and Gordon is the best she could do.

So the name isn’t exactly becoming of him. He’s not exactly what you’d picture—short, almost bald, and a bit on the chubby side—with a name like Gordon. He is, in fact, over six feet tall. He’s really hulking over me like the Empire State building. He’s also pretty built. I bet underneath his suit he doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him. He just exudes this kind of arrogance. Even without him saying a word, I’m already annoyed.

“
So you’re a teacher?” he asks, as if he needs clarification.

“
Yes, I am,” I state.

“
Hmf,” he grunts. “Very admirable.”

I doubt he means it. “I don’t do it for admiration.”

“
Yeah, well you know how the saying goes, ‘those who can, do it, those who can’t … .” Luckily for him, he doesn’t finish his sentence. Asshole. “Let me get you a drink, Shelly.” Gordon steps away for a second and returns with a glass of champagne. Oh fuck me.

I miss my chance to get away. “Oh, no, thank you, champagne gives me a headache.” I smile, fluttering my eyelashes up at him. I wonder if he can tell I’m being bitchy.

“
Okay, what can I get for you then?” he asks.

“
How about a beer?” I respond. “Something in a can. I think I have a pen in my bag. Bring one for yourself. We can shot gun’em.”

“
Oh cool,” Mel says, swooping in from behind me. “I think I have a funnel. We can totally beer bong it.”

Tyler puts his arm around Mel, and adds his two cents, “Count me in. But only if you guys do the thing where you do a hand stand at the same time.”

Gordon looks confused, or scared, and walks away.

We watch him walk into the house before we all bust up laughing. Mel starts to snort, and so does Ty.

“
That was effing hilarious,” I tell them. “Thank you.”

“
Mom is funny. That guy is way too uptight for you,” Tyler says.

Mel adds, “And you didn’t even throw in any of your f-bombs. He would’ve probably run away if he heard your typical flare for words.”

“
What the fuck are you bitches talking about?” I joke.

We all laugh some more.

“
Is it time to go home and get drunk yet?” I ask them.

“
Let’s roll,” Tyler says. “I’m crashing at your place. There’s no way in hell I’m staying here.”

“
Don’t forget your flannel jammies your mama bought you,” Mel teases him.

“
I won’t. I’ll even get your Pepto pink sweater with the pearly buttons too,” he dishes back.

I roll my eyes at them. “I swear, you guys just need to screw and get it over with.”

Tyler raises his brows at Mel, “Now that’s what I call a Christmas present.”

Mel puts her hand on his chest, “Hmm. I think that can be arranged, Mr. Gelson.” She stands on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek. “But just one question: have you been a good boy this year?”

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

“
You guys better hurry up or we’re going to be really late,” I yell, pounding on the door to the bathroom. I can’t believe my best friend and my brother are both in there. I take that back. Yes, I can.

Mel steps out first, wrapped in a towel, and runs to my room.

I shout to her, “What? No walk of shame. Just running around my house naked with my bro. Shit, you guys aren’t even discreet.”

“
I’ll be right out. I’m just gonna get my clothes on. I’ll do my makeup in the car,” Mel yells back, and shuts the door.

“
I’m ready,” Tyler says nonchalantly as he makes his way to my living room. He sits on the sofa next to me, kicks up his big black Chucks on my coffee table, like it’s no big thing he was just showering with my best friend. “You look nice, sis.”

“
You clean up well too, bro. I take it you’re coming with us today?”

“
Mel invited me, so why not. Beats going back and visiting with Mom,” he says, tapping his feet on the floor. He always does this when he’s nervous.

“
You better not be fucking with her Tyler or I’ll whoop your ass. She’s a little fragile right now,” I try to explain.

“
Mel? Fragile? You obviously don’t know you’re best friend as well as I do,” he begins.

“
I would hope not,” I interrupt, rolling my eyes.

“
Yeah. Anyway, she’s fine. It’s not like this hasn’t been coming for a long time. You can’t tell me you’re shocked we finally ... well you know,” he says.

I completely understand what he’s saying but it doesn’t make it right. “Yeah, but I thought when it did, it would be a little more permanent. Not a Christmas present you play with and then return. It’s gonna suck for her when you leave.” It’s only been a full day since I’ve seen Matty and it sucks, even though I know he’s coming back tomorrow. When Ty leaves, who knows when he’ll be back.

Mel comes out and plops herself in Ty’s lap. “I’ll be fine, Shel. Don’t worry. It’s all good.” Her eyes are sincere and I don’t sense any worry coming from her. My brother gives me a look like,
see I told you
.

Tyler taps her on the ass. “You look great too, Melly Belly. You ready?”

She jumps up and throws her hands in the air. “Let’s go to my casa. Feliz Navidad.”

As we walk up the path to Mel’s parents’ house, she takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Wish me luck.”

She’s gonna need it. Her aunts can be brutal.

“
So you think your mom is gonna have a lot of hot men here to choose from?” I ask, jokingly. “I totally forgot to get Kevin’s number last night.” Okay, so I wouldn’t have called him. Or maybe I would have. He seems like he’d be a cool guy to talk to, but not really anything beyond friendship.

“
I thought you were seeing someone,” Tyler questions me.

I shake my head. “No no. Matty and I aren't exclusive. I can still date other people if I want. If I find someone. No biggie.”