Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
“We need to see you. Will you let us in?”
“I don’t have the key.”
She was locked in? Something was wrong here.
Finally Debra lifted a front hoof and stomped the doorknob. It broke off, and the door swung open.
There was Princess Ida, with a little blue globe-shaped moon orbiting her head.
“But Ida,” Wira said. “How is it that you are confined? This can’t be right.”
“They think I am crazy,” Ida said. “Because I don’t speak their language.”
“You speak our language. We’re from Xanth.”
“Oh! Isn’t that one of the derivative moons? How did you manage to get here? I hardly ever get visitors.”
“It’s a long story,” Wira said. “But you—how can they call you crazy? How do they explain your moon?”
“They can’t see my moon.”
There was half a silence. Obviously the Mundanes had a serious perceptual problem.
“Why don’t we take her with us?” Fray Cloud asked. “She wouldn’t be crazy in Xanth.”
“Is that possible?” Debra asked.
“It is possible,” Sim said. “Our Princess Ida finally learned how to visit some of her own worlds. Provision has to be made for her moon, and she can’t remain indefinitely, as her body remains behind, but she can visit.”
“Let’s do it,” Debra said.
They set up Ida on her bed comfortably, with her moon satisfied to continue orbiting her head in that position. Then they dissolved their bodies, and Ida’s soul joined them. They floated as a group toward the next World. They were completing some sort of loop, traveling from Xanth to Xanth. But what would they find there, really? Sim concealed his nervous misgivings. After all, what choice did they have?
His misgivings were soon confirmed: the next world was not Xanth. It looked a lot like Earth, yet couldn’t be, because they had just come from there.
They were standing at a deserted field near a town. They knew where Princess Ida should be, but were surveying the region before just walking in on her. The last world especially had instilled caution.
A man spied them from a distance and approached. “You have to be from Xanth!” he called.
Surprised, Sim answered him. “How do you know this?”
“I love Xanth,” the man said. “I’ve read about it all my life, it seems. I felt your presence the moment you arrived; maybe its my talent. Where else would you find a winged centaur, a huge pretty talking bird, Princess Ida, and a lad who glows? I am David Scalise, and I will help you any way I can.”
Sim introduced himself and the others. “We are travelers,” he said. “Trying to find our way back to Xanth. It is bound to be one of the Moons of Ida, especially this close to Earth. What world is this?”
“This is Moondania, and it has no magic. I understand it is very similar to Earth, with Princess Ida in the same place.” He looked at Ida. “I’ll be happy to guide you there. I’ve never had a pretext to intrude on you, I mean her, before.”
“Thank you, David,” Sim said. “This facilitates things.” They accompanied the man to Ida’s residence.
But this time she wasn’t crazy. Her problem was different. They stood and stared, at a loss.
She had no moon.
They stared at that absence. How could they travel on upworld if there was no world to go to?
“I confess I have had strange dreams of exotic other realms,” Ida said. “But a moon orbiting my head? This is unbelievable.”
“Look at mine,” the Ida of Earth said. They were now on her moon, yet it also still orbited her head.
The Ida of Moondania stared. “This is amazing! How do you keep it in place?”
“It is just there. It is an idea made tangible.”
“What do we do now?” Wira asked Sim. She looked halfway desperate.
Sim opened his beak, and closed it again. He was stumped.
“I know,” Fray said. “Make her an illusion moon.”
Sim looked at her, then at Ilene. Was this possible? Could they make a moon that was more than an inert ball of matter? Yet what Princess Ida believed—any Princess Ida—was true almost by definition. Did Fray know that? He hoped not, because a new idea had to be suggested by a person who did not know this aspect of Ida’s talent.
“Yes, we should do that,” Sim agreed carefully. “But without magic it may be a challenge.”
“Mirrors,” Debra said. “I may not really be from Mundania, though somehow I think I am. Maybe even this Moondania. I remember that special effects can be done with them.”
“They can,” David agreed.
“Let’s have Earth Ida stand before a mirror, here,” Debra said. “So her world shows, and Moondania Ida can stand here where it reflects.”
They did so, and after some careful repositioning and adjustment of the surrounding light, they made it seem as though the world was orbiting the second Ida’s head. “It’s illusion, of course,” Sim said, glancing meaningfully at Ilene.
“Now it’s real,” Ilene said promptly. “Oops. I saw it in shadow, and made it irregular. It looks like a peninsula.”
“It’s Xanth!” Fray exclaimed, delighted. “Home!”
“Your home world?” the Moondania Ida said. “I’m sure it is.”
And there it was. Earth Ida stepped away from the mirror. Her spherical moon went with her. The Xanth-shaped moon remained orbiting the other Ida’s head. Ilene’s talent had made it real, and Ida’s belief made it authentic. He hoped.
“Let’s move on,” Wira said. Sim knew she was afraid that if they delayed, the Xanth world would fade away. It might be a manufactured world, but would surely be more compatible than the others they had encountered. “Princess Ida can come too.”
“I can?” Moondania Ida asked, surprised.
“I’m sure you can,” Earth Ida reassured her.
They explained how she could do it. “But will my body be safe?” she asked dubiously.
“I will be happy to watch your body,” David said. “If I can have the chance to visit Xanth myself, in my turn.”
“Oh yes,” she answered, and kissed him. He looked thoroughly dazed. He would surely do his utmost to keep her safe.
Then they were on their way, as a party of ten. Again, Sim concealed his private misgivings.
QUESTION
They landed on a field not far from Castle Roogna, surrounded by innocent buttercups. All of the butter seemed quite ripe and fresh.
Fray glanced around. It certainly looked like Xanth. It had the same landscape, the same pie plants, the same punnish features. But it had been crafted by illusion, and imperfect illusion at that. Could it really be real?
“Perhaps I should look around,” Sim said.
“I’ll go with you,” Ilene said immediately. She was sweet on him, and didn’t mind showing it.
“I think we saw enough as we condensed coming here,” Wira said. “I believe there are serious questions we should address before we go farther.”
“There are,” Sim agreed somewhat guardedly. Fray could tell he was nervous. Why was that?
“Every world we have visited is very much smaller than the prior world or worlds,” Wira said. “So that a diminishingly tiny fraction of our souls is enough for us to form seemingly complete solid bodies. This was the case here. So how can it be the original Xanth?”
“Exactly,” Sim agreed. “It has to be a derivative. Yet if it is a perfect imitation of the original, it should do.”
“Will it?” Wira asked grimly. “If it is perfect, there may be duplicates of all of us here. How will we interact with them?”
“It is possible to get along with a duplicate,” Ida 1 from Earth said, glancing at Ida 2 from Moondania. Indeed, the two seemed to be relating well to each other.
“And you both will want to meet the version of you who is here,” Debra said. “But I wonder: will the Random and Hugo who are here be in their own bodies? Will the Debra who is here be dangerous for Random? How can we find out?”
Fray saw that these were complicated questions. They could not simply return to their prior lives, because those lives might already be occupied. There might be another Fray floating happily in the sky. They needed to know the situation before they went anywhere.
“Check the bodies,” Nimbus said.
“Bodies?” Fray asked him.
“The ones we left behind.”
A glance ricocheted around their circle. “If this should somehow be the original Xanth,” Ilene breathed.
“There will be bodies,” Wira agreed.
“Unless this world emulates the bodies also,” Sim said. “It could be a perfect derivative.”
“Or a perfect copy we made real,” Ilene said. “How can we tell?”
“It may never be possible to be certain,” Sim said. “There could be an endless chain of loops going from Xanth to Xanth, each one infinitely smaller than those below and infinitely larger than those above.”
“Does it matter?” Fray asked.
Another glance circulated, catching most eyes. “Yes,” Wira said. “I set out on this quest to recover my real husband, not a copy.”
“I’m your real husband,” Hugo said.
“In another man’s body. That’s not ideal.”
“I agree: let’s check the bodies,” the Factor said.
“Which ones?”
“Ours,” Hugo said.
“We are now a party of ten,” Wira pointed out. “That will be complicated.”
Hugo nodded. “Yours first, then. Castle Roogna is close by.”
They organized for travel, with the younger children riding Debra, Sim flying with Ilene, and the five adults walking.
As they approached the castle, the three princesses appeared. “You’re back,” Melody said.
“From Ida’s Moons,” Harmony added.
“And we didn’t see you arrive,” Rhythm concluded.
“It’s complicated,” Wira repeated.
Then they saw the two Idas. For once in their little princessly lives they were silenced.
They went to Princess Ida’s chamber and knocked. She opened the door and looked at them, surprised. “How can you be out there?”
“It’s complicated,” Fray said mischievously. “Wait till you see who else is with us.”
They crowded into Princes Ida’s room, and she saw the two other Idas. “You’re from the moons!” she exclaimed.
“We are,” Ida Earth said.
“But to us, you are on a moon,” Ida Moondania said.
“But how can you be my size? You should be tiny, or so diffuse as to be ghostly.”
“I have been pondering that,” Sim said. “If this is a derivative Xanth, a tiny fraction of their souls can condense to be full size for the tiny world this is, compared to theirs. The same would be true for the rest of us: our origin world is almost unimaginably larger than this one. So we have no problem with size. Only if we were to travel in the other direction would we lack sufficient matter to function on the worlds below us.”
“But your bodies are here!”
“Yes. That may be the proof or disproof of my thesis. If those really are our bodies, then we may indeed have completed a loop.”
Ida showed them to their bodies, which were sleeping in various poses in adjacent chambers. Fray’s own was there, compacted to be visible, looking sweet in repose.
“Oh, I want mine!” she said, going to it.
“Caution,” Sim warned. “If that is actually the body of a derivative person, you could be repulsed.”
But Fray was already plunging into her body. She was the same size at it, but when she touched it, the two of them drew together, overlapped, and merged. There was a moment’s disorientation.
Then she sat up. “I’m me,” she announced.
That glance reappeared and caromed violently around the circle. “Are you sure?” Wira asked.
“Sure I’m sure. This is my condensed body, the air apparent. I’d know it anywhere.”
“Is it possible that you just think you are you?”
“Sure I think I’m me! I know I’m me.”
“That must be the case,” one of the Idas said.
Sim had been starting to open his beak, but now he closed it.
“It must be the case,” Debra said. “Yet how can it be?”
Something was skew. They were being too adultish. “What am I missing?” Fray demanded.
Wira smiled wanly. “I suppose it is fair for you to know, now, dear. What Princess Ida believes is true, so long as an idea is suggested to her by a person who does not understand her magic. You facilitated things along the way, and now your certainty in the identity of your original body has been endorsed by Princess Ida. That means it is true.”
“Sure it’s true. So what?”
“With each journey to a new world, we became very much smaller, discarding the great majority of our soul substances. This seems the smallest of them all. How could we be the same size as the natives—if this is actually our world of origin? It’s a paradox.”
“Actually I have a theoretic answer to that,” Sim said. “But it sets up another difficult question. If the worlds of Ida are a closed loop, each one can indeed seem much smaller than its predecessor, yet this would be illusion. All of them would actually be the same size.”
“But Moondania World is tiny compared to Earth,” Ida Earth said. “It orbits my head, the size of an eyeball. I could never support it if it were the same size as my home world.”
“And Xanth world orbited my head, once it became real,” Ida Moondania said.
“Nevertheless, perspective could make them seem much smaller than they are,” Sim said. “We have been amazed that each world seems full size, once we land on it. That may be reality, while the smallness may be illusion. Mathematically it is feasible.”
“Yes, it is,” the Factor said. “What is your other difficult question?”
Fray wondered too. It was hard to see what could baffle a person who could believe that infinitely tiny worlds were all the same size.
Sim paused thoughtfully. “If we assume that the illusion is in the size, and that each world is real on its own terms, then this could be the real Xanth.”
“Sure it is,” Fray agreed.
“But this world seemed not to exist when we first encountered Princess Ida on Moondania. It came into existence when we made an illusion copy of it from Princess Ida of Earth’s moon. Ilene did that conversion.”
“It’s my talent,” Ilene agreed modestly. It was clear that she loved hearing Sim intelligently expound.
“Yes it is,” Sim agreed. “But what level of talent could copy an entire world with all its people in perfect detail? And shouldn’t that world be a perfect copy of Earth, its model?”
This time a silence passed around the group. What the bird said made sense, even to Fray.
“It was an imperfect copy,” Ilene said. “I think there was shadow just as I focused on it.”
“Yet it turned out to be a perfect rendition of the original Xanth. Coincidence could hardly account for that. This was not copying, it was creation. What level of talent could do that?”
Ilene stared at him, openmouthed. “All I did was try to copy her orbiting world. I don’t have creative talent.”
“Yet here is Xanth, where there was none before.”
“I can’t explain it,” Ilene said. “I just know I’m not a Demon or something; I can’t create whole worlds.”
“In which case I have an alternate hypothesis. Suppose you did not create or copy a world. Suppose you merely made an existing connection real, that had been interrupted? That would explain why the world you copied did not match the one you copied from.”
“That must be it,” Ilene agreed uncertainly.
“It must be,” Ida agreed. This was opinion, and not a magical confirmation.
“So perhaps we have an answer, or set of answers,” Sim said. “Yet questions remain. We still don’t know for certain whether this is the original Xanth, or a tiny derivative, one of an endless chain of derivatives. It would be comforting to get that question settled, one way or another.”
“Yes it would,” Wira agreed a trifle grimly. “If the worlds are all really the same size, how is it that we have to leave most of our bodies behind when we go to the next?”
“That is an excellent question. I have noted that effect myself, when Clio the Muse of History arranged to import dragons from Dragon World. They had to animate local organic substance in order to exist here. My tentative conclusion is that each person or creature is connected to his home world, and is unable to transfer any significant mass to others. Traveling downworld means that only enough mass exists to animate the soul, which is not mass-hungry. But traveling upworld is more compatible, and more is retained.” He glanced at Fray. “You seemed far larger in relation to your original body than you would have had you returned to it via the downworld route.”
“If it is her original body,” the Factor said. “We need to be certain.”
“I should think you would prefer to abate Debra’s curse, and your exchange of bodies. If these are not the same bodies, there may be no curse, and the two of you can reanimate your proper ones.”
Hugo and the Factor exchanged a weighty glance.
“And if the curse remains?” Hugo asked.
“That will suggest that this is the original Xanth, or resembles it so closely as to make no difference.”
“That is hardly perfect,” Wira said. “I don’t want a perfect copy of my husband. I want the real one.”
“Let’s try it,” Hugo said. “But you ladies and children will have to do it first, because this is where your bodies are.”
“They are,” Wira agreed. She approached her body, and quickly merged. “It feels the same,” she said.
Debra went to her centaur body, and animated it with a similar result. Then Ilene, Sim, and Nimbus animated theirs. All agreed that they felt the same.
“But does the curse remain?” Wira asked.
“We can find out,” Debra said. She produced her bra and started to put it on. She glanced at the Random Factor, who remained in Hugo’s body.
He walked toward her. He reached for her bra.
“Don’t touch it!” Wira cried. “We’re not sure.”
But she was too late. “I can’t stop,” the Factor said tightly. His hands grasped the bra and pulled it off. Debra was resplendently bare-breasted again. He had de-braed her.
Nothing happened. An expression of hope struggled to take over Debra’s face.
Then Fray remembered. “It’s the bodies,” she reminded them. “He’s in Hugo’s body. That doesn’t count.”
This time a nod passed around the group. “She is correct,” Sim said. “The Factor’s body has to test it.”
Debra recovered her bra and put it on again. This time Hugo, in the Factor’s body, approached her. He reached toward the bra.
“No!” Wira cried, grabbing his arm just before his hand touched.
“But dear, we have to find out,” Hugo told her.
“Not at the expense of your life or freedom.”
“Yet how else are we to know?”
Wira pondered. “At least put on gloves.”
Ida-Xanth produced a heavy pair of work gloves, and Hugo donned them. He reached again for the bra.
There was a spark jumping from the bra toward the hand. But the gloves prevented it from making a complete connection.
“I think that proves it,” Wira said sadly. “The curse tried.”
“It might have been the magic of static electricity,” Sim said. “If so, it has now been discharged, and should not happen again.”
“We still do need to know,” Hugo said. He removed the gloves.
“But if you are banished, whatever will I do?” Wira asked desperately.
“It’s a gamble,” Hugo said. He kissed her. “If I am confined in a cell, come to rescue me, somehow. We have to know.”
Fray realized that he was a really brave man.
Hugo returned to Debra. He reached for her bra. No spark jumped. He removed it. Nothing happened.
Wira fainted. Fortunately the Factor in Hugo’s body caught her before she fell.
“So this is not the original Xanth,” the Factor said. “The curse is gone. If we could just exchange bodies back, all would be well.”
“Not necessarily,” Sim said. “We forgot that this is not the Factor’s original physical body. It is his soul-solidified body, which is another matter.”
And this time a sigh circulated. Of course he was right. They had not proved anything.
“Which means that this could still be the original Xanth,” the Factor said.
“It could indeed,” Sim agreed.
“We need to return to our bodies,” Hugo said. “And find out how to exchange back.”
“And maybe have me destroy my beloved,” Debra said.
“The alternative is to remain in our wrong bodies,” the Factor said. “That’s not ideal.”
A bulb flashed over Fray’s head. “Maybe you could get the Transformer Magician Trent to change your bodies so they looked right!”