Air Apparent (37 page)

I am getting older. I’m into my seventies now, and slowing somewhat. I learned of the deaths of two of my longtime correspondents during the writing of this novel, and there may be others. Also, I had spot surgery on my right cheek to remove a suspicious patch of skin. It turned out to be pre-squamous cell carcinoma. That is, working its way toward one of the less dangerous forms of skin cancer. The dangerous form is melanoma, which my daughter had at this time; they think they got it all clear and she’s okay. I also postponed surgery for the crushed disk that leaves me with a chronic backache, because I couldn’t afford to be out of commission at this time.

Why? Because my wife’s health is more precarious than mine. Early in the year 2005 she weakened until she could no longer walk or even stand. I had to heave her into and out of the wheelchair, and she practically lived in that wheelchair for months. It seemed that between the two of us we had some kind of medical appointment just about every day. One doctor after another checked her, not finding the problem. Then at last they made a diagnosis: chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy, CIDP for short. It is a rare illness vaguely similar to multiple sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s disease, where the protective sheathing around the nerves—the myelin—gets eroded so that the nerves can’t function. Think of an electronic gadget whose wires are stripped of insulation: it will short out and not work. Likewise the living body. Fortunately there is a treatment, an expensive four-hour IV infusion. After five days of that she turned the corner, and her arms and legs started responding again, little by little. At this writing—the end of OctOgre 2005—she is back on her feet and gaining strength, no longer needing a wheelchair, walker, or cane. But I don’t let her go out alone, just in case. At our age, falls can be devastating.

Meanwhile I had taken over the meals, housework, shopping, and such. My wife was recovering, but we could not be sure how far that would go, or whether there would be a relapse. I needed to be able to do whatever needed to be done, and to heave the wheelchair into the car if we needed it. That’s why I postponed my disk surgery. I also started writing this novel a month early, because I could not be sure how much time I would have for writing, and there was a deadline. As it happened, my wife continued to do better, so I had more writing time than expected, and completed the novel early. I still go shopping with her, just in case, and make most meals and wash the dishes, but things are looking up. There are more challenges ahead for each of us, some quite serious, but at present we’re all right.

In this period—actually just before I started writing the novel—we bought a Toyota Prius hybrid car. We do what we can for the environment, and an efficient car helps. We needed to be sure it could carry a folded wheelchair, just in case, and that it was comfortable for my wife, and it is. It gets about forty-five miles to the gallon and seems alive. The motor stops when you wait at a stoplight, not wasting power. It indicates the mileage you are getting as you drive, so you know when you’re driving inefficiently. You keep the key in your pocket, and it checks and won’t run unless it frisks you and locates it. It’s my kind of car. There’s only one letter difference between Piers and Prius.

My wife’s condition also changed my appearance. At first I lost weight, because I was doing more on the same diet. So we bought six-packs of that canned nourishment that I call glop for short. Then I started putting on weight, and had to cut back. I remain lean by preference, keeping my weight steady, and I exercise seriously; all it takes is discipline. We used to exchange haircuts; I haven’t been to a barbershop in decades. But her illness prevented her from cutting my hair, so I grew it longer, and now I wear a ponytail. So my hair is receding in front and on top where I need it, and growing bushily on sides and back where I don’t. A problem of age: male pattern baldness. Sometimes I wonder whether it was a mistake to pass seventy. Because I’m not apt at doing my hair behind my head where I can’t see it, I use a small red or blue alligator-style hair clip of the type little girls have. I now notice ponytails on women, and actually there are some on men too. I complimented one woman on hers, and she said I had a prettier clip. My hair is like my imagination, bursting out all over, with a natural curl that refuses to be tamed. I never knew this until I grew it long.

We also had weather. There are those who refuse to believe in global warming, but here in Florida we are much aware of it, because it increases the force of our seasonal storms. Hurricane Katrina crossed south Florida with minimal effort, then revved up horrendously to take out New Orleans. That was followed by Hurricane Rita, which plowed into Texas. Later Hurricane Wilma formed as the most intense storm ever in this region, and crossed south Florida the other way, taking out electric power for six million people. But we here in central Florida were on the periphery of all three storms and suffered little damage. We were lucky—this year.

This novel, as you may have noticed, starts out as a murder mystery. But in Xanth it’s hard to play anything straight for long, and by the end the mystery is something else. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. There are about a hundred and forty reader suggestions here. In some cases when I didn’t have a name for a passing character I borrowed the name of the one who suggested the character or talent. Those readers may be surprised (and not necessarily pleased) to discover that, and I make no promises about doing it again. In general, I used up the ideas I had before OctOgre 2005; more kept coming in as I wrote the novel, and I couldn’t keep up with them. Some ideas related to characters who aren’t in the novel, so had to wait for a later novel. The unmentionable truth is that it would be easier for me to write these novels entirely on my own without reader suggestions, as I do with non-Xanth novels. But readers do think of things I don’t, so I hope their participation enhances the story. Some of the suggestions have private histories I don’t review here; there is more going on than the story. Some ideas that could have been major became minor, and some minor ones became major; some don’t develop the way the suggester may have intended. Things don’t always go the way I expect.

One other thing: I write a novel, a copyeditor goes over it, I proofread the galleys—and some errors still sneak through. My theory is that they grow on the page after the proofreading. There was one bad one in Currant Events, where the pun-guessing score was wrong. Countless readers called my attention to it. So I had somehow to explain it, as I do in this novel. These things happen.

Now for the voluminous credits:

Write a Xanth novel in the style of a horror novel—only I decided to make it a murder mystery instead—Henry Wyckoff; farm-assist plants producing many magic pills—Jon Bartlett; glove (mitt) puns, talent of summoning animals, comitea, mortalitea, Heisen-berg, amitea, battea, curfew, curtail, ab-cent, bucking, cent-inel, quies-cent, reminis-cent, omnis-cent, ex-cent-ric, magnifi-cent—Timothy Bruening; Earl the pearl—Lesli Audleman; Katydid/Katydidn’t—Nicole Graham; Wira makes a quest to gain her sight—Jim Hull; Debra—Bob Kawaguchi; talent of freezing things in place—Stephanie Kay Fetterly; talent of knowing when to begin an action—Bev in Bellingham; talent of cooling or heating water—Timur I. Leng; fee-line, bo-vine—David Kaplan; medi-ogre—Linda H.; punda—Yaniv Pessach; dine-o-mite, twins summon and banish demons, e-racers—Greg Bischoping; spinal chord—Jesse Gordon; outstanding in his field, hydraponics, beauty mark—Lizzy Wilford; Bernie—Liz; bombshell—Michael Bissey; stop light—John A. Tolle; pathologist—Bill Seeley; Theresa—Gary Poole; Aurora Sky—Rebekah Joyce Vidal; giggles, river dancers—Thomas Pfarrer; illixir—Kevin Jett; Opti and Pesi Mystic—Lizzy Wilford; Psyche, with talent of role reversal, Moondania—Jon Bartlett; lan-tern—Stephen Dole; Breanna’s son, with talent of making darkness—Gabe Pesek; pleasant/unpleasantrees—Jorge; family from Mundania, humoris bone—Vicki Gleason; Mike’s girlfriend—Jaime Rocha; DeCrypt, who decodes things—Martinha Braam; mediocritree—Michelle Smith; ogre rated, zombie tree, plumpkin pie—R. J. Craigs; Random Factor’s talent, Hypotho-sea—Jyllian; ground beef—Max Xiong; ogres curdle hair—Kris Kobb; bee guile—James Willison; key board—Dawn Lisowski; wild card, Q-card—Lu Gifford; bumpkin pie—Lois Polson; pot plant—Jimmy E. Coats; Mystery Cat—Felicia M. Perez; pairing knife—Yaniv Pessach; sign language folk—Phil Giles; Petting Sue, being on the lamb—Robert Hawes; Gourd’n G’rd’n’r—Eric Herriman; Gnome Atter—Emma Snowden; white-winged snake—Era Scarecrow; Deniece and Denephew—Denise D.; Herb Sage—Leigh Killon-Purkey; paths to where needed—A. C. Sutton; Ilene, talent of making illusions real—Malcolm Shaw; air plain—Steven Barton; air drumming—William Bennett; medic air—Thom Lamb; Airon—Patty; tap water—Dassi Levin; waves waving—Russ White; Sim-ulation—John Surber; ants in rum, ruminants—Katrin; cowboy—Jonathon Hadley; cream tsoda—David Candler; hair clips—Kris Cobb; talent of not being able to finish what he starts—Curtis Terrill; Branch Faun gets his tree back—Sabrina Smith; Brusk/Becka’s child—Ben Stallard; pigasus, hambrosia—Louis Steiner; wrong scoring in Currant Events—Michael Hawkins (first of a number who caught this); Sette family—Megan Ross; punnery—Heidi Hastie; potato ogre rotten (au gratin)—Keith J. Moseley; shade lipstick for ghosts—Amy Richards; horsefeathers—Louis Steiner; Fracto gets changed to human form—Misty Zaebst; maiden head—Brian J. Taylor; fresh err, err conditioner—Mark C. Purvis; closet door to imagination—Chris Walls; fatalitea—Albert J. Gallant; assorted Kings: Ass, Inn, Bar, Thin, Loo—John Edwards; de-ogrerant—Norm Mcleod; mirror writing—John Conrad, who really does write backward: it’s his curse; dream dictionary—Ginger Kern; jinx—Harry Gilbert; talent of force field in air—Alison; talent of steering conversation—Carter; talent of not being able to say what a person will do—David M. Cary; cone-nundrum—Mindy Basilian; the nametaggers—Jacob Kott; Citronella—Krystin Dobbs; go to Ptero poles and back on other meridians to avoid changing ages—Kenneth Adams; flamma-bull—Bethany Henderson; Billy Jack, flip-flops—Billy Jack; Tell-A-Path—Kyle Chalmers; networking—Kris Kobb; talent: make a net that will stop wiggles—Ruby Suder; small-scale klutz, large-scale benefit—Tovi Spero; Besanii, who flatters folk—Bethany Henderson; Bill Fold—Amanda Penfold; invoking monster qualities, confusing monsters, talent of redirection—Troy Young; angel meets demon at love spring—Eric C. Daniel; angel marries Demon Beauregard—Colleen Mercer; Gourd Moon—Christer S. Rowan; Obelisk—Eli Spiro; Xanth 2 as a World of Ida—Catty Philpot; Earth as one of Ida’s moons, with Demon Gaia—Locke Berry; David Scalise—Nicole Hearnes.

And those who are interested may check my Web site at www.hipiers.com, where I have information on my novels, a listing of electronic publishing and services, and a feisty bimonthly blog-type column. Most of my interaction with my readers now occurs via that site; publishers don’t forward snail-mail letters reliably.