I took a loud and abrupt breath in and froze with my back arched underneath him as far as it would go.
He held my hips in place with his hands. “I’m sorry, I cannot stop now.” He started whispering in other languages in my ear. More apologies, perhaps. His words rippled through my mind and body, soothing both. I was on fire on the outside but inside I was cool liquid. It was that part of me that willed him to continue. I slowly relaxed into him and he pushed deeper into me. The entire time he whispered, sometimes in English, sometimes in Irish or French and sometimes in languages I couldn’t recognize. He could have been reciting the Pledge of Allegiance for all I cared. His words sent me into a trance, heightening the experience. I didn’t last long. He pushed harder and faster as he felt me coming to my peak, not stopping until we climaxed together. Finally we lay still in each other’s arms until the aftershocks subsided.
After a while he looked down at me. “Are you ok?”
I smiled back. “I might be a little sore tomorrow, but I think I’ll survive.” He could honestly have done that ten times again before morning and I wouldn’t have stopped him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, resting his forehead just above my ear.
“Promise me something.” I propped myself up on one elbow and looked at him intently.
“Anything,” he said.
“Promise me you will stop apologizing.”
“Oh.” He didn’t look happy with the thought. “In English or….”
“In
any
language. We aren’t going to get through this if you keep apologizing for the past.”
He paused, and finally agreed, “Deal. But I think now is a good time to share with me what happened on Galapagos. I want to know everything. Every detail.”
“Why now?” I looked for a reason to stall. “We have all day tomorrow.”
“Yes, but sometimes it’s easier to expose the truth while naked. Besides, we always seem to do better when we are touching.”
I glanced at my shredded clothes on the floor. “Speaking of – you owe me some new clothes.”
“What about me?” He reached down the side of the bed and produced his shirt turning it so I could see it had been ripped partly down the back.
“How did that happen?” I furrowed my eyebrows, inspecting the shirt.
“That was all you, babe.”
“Nooooo,” I denied it with a slight hesitation in my voice.
“Yeeeessss,” he mocked me.
“Ok,” I conceded. “We’ll call it even.”
“Ok.”
Another deal made
.
We sat in silence for a long moment.
“So about what happened….”
He wasn’t going to let me off the hook, and there was no way I could possibly tell him what happened.
What to do, what to do
.
After a short time of playing with the pillow’s edges, I came up with an idea. I sat up in bed, bunching the blankets up around me so at least from the waist down I wasn’t exposed. “Sit up. I know how we are going to do this.”
He obeyed without question and sat across from me on the bed.
I explained, “So basically, I want you to read my memories.”
“What?”
“I’ve done this before, trust me. It’ll work. I’m just going to open up my memories to you, and you just, well…receive them.” I was trying to recall exactly how it worked with Shawn, but this time I was on the giving end instead of the receiving end. “It is going to feel weird, because they are my memories. You will feel all the emotions and physical senses I experienced, or at least how I remember them. Don’t try to control anything. Just let it happen.”
He looked hopeful. “You are full of surprises. Just when I think you are way too inexperienced for any of this, you come up with something that is years of training beyond any Gaia I’ve known.”
I studied him for a long moment. “You’re sure you want this?”
He nodded eagerly. “If this works, it’ll be everything I need to understand what happened.”
“Yeah, we’ll see how you feel about it after the fact,” I mumbled. We joined hands and closed our eyes. I took a few moments of deep breathing to clear my head and relax my body. I needed to be completely focused. Once I was ready, I thought back to the night Susan and I attempted a mission on our own. Shawn had taken me then, and Micah needed to know everything, starting from the very beginning. Once the images were clear in my own head, I mixed my thoughts with the smallest bit of energy and sent it out to Micah. I kept the flow as steady as my own thoughts, and soon felt him absorb them. I snuck a peek at him every now and then. He looked pleased at Susan and me accomplishing the mission on our own. He tightened up when the waves came, knocking me unconscious.
I went through my experiences on Galapagos as best as I could remember, in the order they happened. I tried not to leave out any details, my penguin ‘guard dog’, the way the island drained me of energy, and Shawn’s constant attacks – both sexual and physical. Opening one eye slightly, I swear I almost saw bruises forming on Micah’s face in the same places I remembered being hit. I shared my escape plan, the episode where Shawn finished his mark on my shoulder, and the rituals and blessings that gave me hope.
I paused, gathering strength for the next part; the hardest part of all to share. I considered leaving it out altogether, but that wouldn’t have been fair to Micah. If we were going to clear the air, everything had to be shared. He began to break the bond but I interrupted him, “Wait, I’m not finished yet.”
He looked at me, wide-eyed, as if he couldn’t imagine anything else that could have possibly happened.
I smiled sadly, and thought to myself,
you haven’t seen the half of it
.
Once ready, I conjured memories of our trip to the beach and creating the storm. I showed him how Juan died. I revealed my conversation with Shawn several days later when he told me how Susan, Micah, and he had all been adopted by Cato at young ages. He also revealed Micah’s role with each Gaia; including executing each one once a stronger Gaia was found.
“I would never–” Micah moved to pull away.
“Hush,” I scolded. I continued forcing memories across to him, memories of how Shawn taught me to share memories, and how he shared his memory of the night of the saining – my initiation into the Seven. Micah was there to carry out the deed should I have made the wrong choice. Whether or not he would’ve gone through it was left unclear. I peeked at Micah again, nearly pulling back at the tears streaming down his face. I instantly felt regret, but it was too late, the damage was done. I tried ending on a positive note, my triumphant escape leading up to where Micah found me laying on the rocky shore. It didn’t help, we broke the bond and Micah looked thoroughly distraught.
“I’m sorry,” I started to babble. “That’s hard for someone to endure all at once – maybe we should have done it in sessions.”
His face was unreadable, so I continued, “Or maybe not at all; this was a stupid idea.”
He held up a hand, cutting me off mid-babble. “Why are you apologizing? Those were just your memories and I think I almost lost consciousness a few times because of
that
. You actually went through it; I honestly don’t think anyone else would’ve survived.”
He laid back down on the bed, deep in thought and probably in shock. I lay down next to him, giving him a few minutes to mull things over.
“You must hate me,” he announced suddenly.
I had to stifle a giggle. “Yeah, because I often sleep with people I hate.”
He didn’t laugh.
I rolled over on my side and moved close to him so our bare skin was touching. I traced the outline of his abdominal muscles with the tip of my finger. “There are other, much worse things in the world for me to hate.”
“Like penguins?” I think it was meant to be a joke, but neither of us laughed. I kept moving my hand along his stomach, his sides. He was becoming aroused, and looked ashamed for it.
“Yes – like penguins,” I whispered in his ear. “I think for now, only one thing will help us.”
“What’s that?” He searched my face, anxious for some kind of solution.
“More sex.”
The Mother
The next morning, I awoke alone. I rolled to the other side of the bed, feeling the sheets still warm from Micah’s body. I stayed there, cocooned in blankets until the last remaining scent of him disappeared. Finally, I made my way out to the kitchen looking for the real thing. Micah was nowhere to be found, but his sister was. I would have to settle for her green eyes instead of his. Susan looked at me, one eyebrow raised. I blushed, wondering if she’d heard our escapades last night. She only handed me a cup of coffee.
“Thank you,” I murmured, staring intently at a cracked tile on the floor. I held the cup to my lips then stopped myself. “Wait, is this safe? I mean, for the baby and all?”
“I don’t think one cup will hurt the baby. Pregnant women have ingested much worse.”
“Okay.” I hesitantly sipped it. It felt wonderful.
“Micah has already arranged for a doctor to visit,” Susan said. “He should be arriving later today.”
“Oh, okay. That was fast.”
“Hmm,” Susan commented. Of course she’d wanted it done much sooner. “I’m sorry we intervened the way we did. But it maybe worked out okay?”
“That it did,” I said wistfully, remembering the more explicit events of the night before. “And it certainly stopped Shawn dead in his tracks,” I quickly added, hoping she didn’t see me blushing again. I pushed away from the table. “Maybe I should go find Micah.”
She wasn’t having it, “Maybe you should eat.”
In short order she had a plate of eggs and fruit in front of me, complete with my daily dose of prenatal vitamins, no longer hidden from sight. She shook the bottle. “We forgot to bring these with us to Australia and Wyoming. Now they’re staying right here in the kitchen so you don’t forget to take them.”
I slunk down into the chair. “Yes, mother.”
Susan smiled and moved to leave the kitchen. She paused beside me, her hand on my shoulder, and bent down to whisper in my ear, “You’re the mother now.”
Her words resonated long after she had gone. I couldn’t move as it truly sunk in. Kids had never been in my plans, much because a husband had never been in my plans – and still wasn’t, for that matter.
I spent the next two hours walking the grounds of the Chakra, somewhat searching for Micah but mostly just enjoying the sunshine on my face. Pale from the months of cloud cover, I could feel my skin starting to burn. I looked around, no one, least of all Micah, was in sight. I turned toward my room. I’d wait for Micah to find me. Maybe I’d mend some of the clothes we’d torn apart last night. I smiled to myself at the memory.
“What are you so happy about?” Alex caught me off guard in the hallway.
“Nothing,” I said a little too quickly.
He stepped closer and whispered, “I heard the good news.”
I raised my eyebrows playfully. “What good news?”