Alicia's Misfortune (13 page)

I stood in front of my full length mirror again.
 
But this time I was a little more pleased
with what I saw.
 
My hair was combed out
and pulled up in a barrette, and my eyes were lined with a thin brown
pencil.
 
I had dabbed a little concealer
over the dark circles, and then applied some peach lip gloss on my lips.
 
I was certainly no runway model, but I looked
a lot better than I had last week.
 
When
Ethan saw me, it was unexpected.

“Mom?”
 
He barged in
my room and then froze.
 
“Why do you look
like that?”
 
His face was one of
repulsion.
 
I felt immediately insecure
and embarrassed.
 

“Well…”
 
I stammered
and then drew in a deep breath.
 
“Well,
Ethan, I’m going on a date.”
 
I smiled
and then stood with my hands at my side, ready to face the reaction that I was
sure would come.
 

“A what?”
 
Ethan shook
his head in disbelief.
 
I sat down on the
edge of the bed and smoothed out my long, wool skirt.
 
It was one of my homemade favorites, with
appliqué flowers and fine stitching on the hem.
 
I had paired it with an amber sweater that my mother had bought for me
as a Christmas gift last year, and a pair of leather boots that Paul had bought
me as a birthday present before he passed away.
 
Ethan gaped at me.
 

“I said that I’m going on a date, Ethan.
 
I thought you were over at Billy’s
house.
 
I was going to talk to you about
it once I was dressed, but here you are.”
 
I tried to be as calm as possible, but I could sense the rising emotions
in both of us.
 
Before I could say
anything else, Ethan ran out of the room.
 
I waited to hear the slam of the screen door, which followed only seconds
later.
 
Then I got up and wandered to the
window and watched as he fled across the backyard and back toward Billy’s yard.

I was meeting Matthew at the Billy Goat Saloon about five
miles north, and I was supposed to be there at six.
 
Now, I was too worried about Ethan to even
focus on what else needed to be done before I left the house.
 
I hurried out of the bedroom and then made my
way into the kitchen.
 
I made up a peanut
and butter jelly sandwich for Ethan, and poured him a glass of milk.
 
I placed the sandwich on a plate and then
tucked it safely in the fridge.
 
Then I
scrawled him a note:
 

Ethan, I will tell you about Matthew when I get home.
 
Please try to understand.
 
Don’t be mad.
 
I left you a pb and j in the fridge.
 
I’ll make you some dinner when I get home around nine.
 
Love, Mom.

I smoothed back my hair and took a few deep breaths.
 
My nerves were frayed, and I had a fleeting
thought about cancelling the date.
 
No,
Emma.
 
I frowned and told myself that I
had to follow through.
 
I told Jake that
I was going to do it, and I wanted to keep my word.
 
He had set it all up a few days prior by
getting in touch with Matthew.
 
Apparently they both thought it was going to be a great pairing, and
they had decided that the Billy Goat was a safe, family oriented beef and beer
that would make for a comfortable first meeting.
 

I would have to address everything with Ethan later.
 
For now, I needed to focus on getting over
there, and meeting Matthew.
 
If it turned
out that we just really didn’t hit it off, then I’d be home even sooner than
nine.
 
I took one last look in the mirror
before locking up and getting in the truck.
 
I could see all the pain from the last few years in my eyes, and
realized that there wasn’t much I could do to erase it.
 
I could only try and make the best of what I
had now, and try to enjoy myself.
 

I closed the door behind me and then loaded myself up into
the truck and headed to the saloon.
 
The
moon cast a somber glow over the valley and I pulled into the Billy Goat
parking lot just as a large group of college students walked inside.
 
I wasn’t much for eating out, and I
definitely wasn’t much of a drinker, but I’d do whatever Jake wanted me to do
at this point, as long as it meant that Ethan and I would end up living
comfortable lives because of it.

I pushed opened the doors and had a quick look around.
 
Jake told me that Matthew would be wearing a
blue checkered shirt with a pair of jeans.
 
I scanned the bar and didn’t see anyone that fit the description.
 
From what Jake told me, Matthew was tall,
with short, dark hair, and blue eyes.
 
He
hadn’t gotten into particulars, but I figured that I’d be able to spot him
easily enough because of the shirt.
 
Sure
enough, when I turned to my left, I caught sight of a tall man in a shirt that
fit the description.

He was sitting alone at a table by the window, sipping on what
appeared to be a tall glass of water.
 
I
wondered if he had been waiting long.
 
I
was only a few minutes late.
 
My stomach
churned at the thought of having to introduce myself, and having to tell him
all about my history, about Ethan, and about Jake.
 
I wanted to turn around and run back to my
car.
 
My heart raced and my palms began
to sweat.
 
This was ridiculous.
 
I was making it such a production.
 
All I had to do was walk over and say hello.

The restaurant doors flew open and another large group bustled
inside.
 
I moved to get out of the way,
and inadvertently ended up only a few feet away from his table.
 
I shot him another quick glance and saw him
look up over the table.
 
His eyes were
blue- ice blue with a mysterious glow.
 
His cheekbones were defined and he had a strong presence to him.
 
I reminded myself that he was a murdered,
that he might be dangerous.
 
Then I
remembered that Jake said he would be waiting in the parking lot to make sure
that everything went safely.

I inched closer to his seat, all the while watching his face
to see if he looked up again.
 
My hands
clutched my purse and my feet shuffled like a child’s.
 
It was almost amusing that I was so nervous
and so insecure.
 
I finally took a deep
breath, ran my hand through my hair, and then smiled.
 
As soon as I did, he looked up and then stood
up from his seat.
 
“Emma?”
 
He walked toward me and then pulled out my
chair.
 
“I’m Matthew.”
 
He smiled and waited for me to sit down.

I looked at his face and paused.
 
There was something so familiar about him,
but I couldn’t tell what it was.
 
He
reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t place my finger on whom.
 
His eyes twinkled when he spoke, and his
cheekbones accentuated the prominent curve of his jaw.
 
Some women would have considered him model-like
in his appearance, with such rugged good looks and casual demeanor.
 
I just knew that he was gorgeous, and that I
couldn’t take my eyes off his face.

“It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you, Emma.”
 
Matthew looked at me with a smile, and I felt
a twinge of desire surge through my body.
 
It was such a peculiar feeling, and I immediately felt guilty.
 
What would Paul have thought about me having
dinner with another man?
 
I tried not to
think about him, but it was almost impossible.

“It’s lovely meeting you, too.
 
Jake told me quite a bit about you.
 
I’ve always been familiar with the farming
and the ranching life, so I thought maybe we’d actually hit it off.”
 
I tried not to sound contrived.
 
I wanted to feel and look natural, but I
worried that I was blowing it.
 
Matthew
smiled.
 
Again, I noticed that glimmer in
his eye and I couldn’t help but feel a strong attraction.
 

“I must admit, this is one of the first dates I’ve been on
in a long time.
 
I used to be married,
but we divorced over five years ago.”
 
Matthew spoke and then sipped his water.
 
“Hey, I hear they have great ribs here.
 
Would you like to split a plate with me?”
 
He smiled and then waited for my
response.
 
I loved barbeque ribs, so it
was easy to comply.
 
The waiter came by
and took our drink orders, and before I knew it, we were talking and laughing
as if we were old school mates.
 

“You know, Matthew…”
 
I paused and then looked out the window.
 
“I’m sure Jake told you that I’m a widow.”
 
I felt strange even saying the word
widow
.
 
“I’m not sure why I feel like I have to tell you, but I just want to be
clear.
 
I’m not expecting anything, you
know?”
 
I wanted to bite my tongue as
soon as the words slipped out.
 
What a
rude statement.
 
Matthew simply nodded
his head.

“You don’t have to explain a thing to me, Emma.
 
I have no expectations, either.
 
In fact, I really just hope that you enjoy
spending time with me, and that we get to have some nice conversation.
 
Being alone can take a toll on a
person.”
 
He raised his eyebrows and then
smiled.
 
I got the distinct feeling that
even though we had just met, he somehow understood me.
 
Maybe he knew what it was like to be lonely.

 
I reminded myself that
according to Jake’s information, Matthew had actually spent little time
alone.
 
With a track record of multiple
wives, I wondered just how lonely he could have ever been.
 
Then I remembered that Matthew said he had
just been divorced five years ago.
 
It
wasn’t adding up. I had to know more.
 
“So, Matthew.
 
If I’m correct,
Jake told me that you have been married three times.
 
Is that true?”
 
I knew it was blunt, but I wanted to get the
facts straight.
 
Matthew looked confused.

“I’ve been married twice.
 
My first wife left me for a doctor, believe it
or not.”
 
Matthew shook his head and then
laughed.
 
“And, like I told you, my
second marriage ended in divorce.”
 
He
nodded and then backed up when the waiter came by with our food.
 
In a matter of seconds the two of us were
devouring our ribs, and the entire topic of wives, divorces, and marriage had
disintegrated.

I’m not sure at what point the idea crossed my mind, but I
began to slowly get the feeling that Matthew wasn’t actually a murderer.
 
Perhaps it was his smile, or the way he told
his stories.
 
Maybe it was the way he
held his head or the way that he made me laugh.
 
Or maybe it was just my good old fashioned intuition.
 
But I started to think that Jake was wrong
about this guy.
 
I had a sneaking suspicion
that Matthew was actually innocent.

We finished our food and then split an ice cream for
dessert.
 
When the waiter came with the
bill, Matthew insisted on paying.
 
Then
we slowly wandered outside and into the night.
 
“You know, Emma, this has been a really fun night.
 
I feel like we have a lot in common, and I’d
love to see you again.”
 
Matthew looked
at me and I felt my heart flutter.
 
He
smelled so good that I was tempted to lean in and kiss him, but I knew that it
would be inappropriate.
 
Women were
supposed to let the man make the first move.

“I had a good time, Matthew.
 
Thanks.
 
I need to get going.
 
I told my son, Ethan, that I’d be home by
nine.”
 
I nodded my head and then turned
around to leave.
 
Matthew reached for my
hand.
 

“I’d love to see you again some time.”
 
He smiled and then moved in closer.
 
I nodded my head, glad that he had suggested
it.
 
“Would you be interested in coming
to my home out by Sun Valley?
 
Maybe
you’d like to join me for dinner.”
 
He
spoke with confidence, but he wasn’t cocky.
 
I knew that there was something special about him, but what was it?
 
I wanted to gush over the fact that he had
just invited me over, but instead I casually played it off.

“Why don’t you call me some day this week?
 
I’ll make sure that Ethan doesn’t have any
school obligations.”
 
I wanted to be at
least somewhat flirtatious.
 
Matthew
nodded in acceptance.

“Perfect.
 
Could you
give me your number?”
 
He moved in closer
and then I looked into his eyes.
 
I felt
a wave of excitement course through my body.
 
Without saying another word, he placed his hand on my chin and pulled my
face close to his.
 
I could smell his
cologne and I slowly wrapped my hands around his waist.
 
He opened his mouth and then I felt the brush
of our lips together.
 
His tongue met
mine and I felt completely immobilized for what felt like an eternity.
 
We kissed, under the moonlight and among the
breeze.
 
Then we both slowly pulled away
and smiled.
 

I reached in my pocket and scrawled my phone number on a
piece of paper.
 
Then I tucked my hair
behind my ear and slowly walked off toward the truck.
 
Matthew watched and waited for me to get
in.
 
I started the engine and then
cracked my window, the taste of Matthew still on my lips.
 
Then I drove away from the Billy Goat, and
thought about what I’d say to Ethan.