Alien Hostage (35 page)

Thinking about the wistful expression on her face, Falinset sighed before he thought better of it. Tasha turned from the view to look at him. For an instant Falinset fooled himself into thinking he saw longing appear on her expression, a yearning more poignant than when she’d looked at the garden. In a second the mirage was gone, replaced with her usual friendliness.

“Beautiful scenery,” he commented, motioning towards the window vid.

“Not just the view,” she said. “It still amazes me that a vid can give such a wonderful illusion of an open window. The view, the sound, even a breeze with the smells.”

Falinset hesitated a moment before joining her on the lounger. He sat close to her and looked towards the nearby vid. Indeed, he could smell the light sweet perfume of the flowers on the soft ruffle of simulated breeze coming from the vent installed near the vid. The chatter of small insects and trill of a flying mammal known as a resil was cheerful.

Yet he was more aware of the warmth coming from Tasha, the scent of woman laced with traces of Nur’s best moisturizing and conditioning products, the sound of her soft breath. It was her he felt attuned with rather than the pretty tableau his Imdiko had planted outside.

Trying not to drown in his senses’ delight, he said, “I guess I’ve gotten to where I take the window vids for granted. This particular scenery is nice.”

Tasha leaned towards him, putting her back against his chest. Her head pillowed on his shoulder. Feeling her softness made his heart race. She felt so right, sheltering against him.

Her voice soft, she said, “It’s stupid, but I like to pretend that everything will work out. That I’m here by choice on a vacation.”

Her words ripped at him. His home, his beloved sanctuary, was nothing more than a prison to her. She was not here by choice. She never would be.

“I keep saying I’m sorry. I hate the weak sound of that.”

She took a breath. “I know you’re doing the best with what you have, Falinset. I don’t fault you for the situation. I’m grateful you’ve given us this hiding place.”

He said nothing. He could never give her enough.

When he remained silent, she straightened and turned to look carefully at him. She frowned at whatever she saw in his face. “You aren’t to blame.”

Feeling his inadequacies, Falinset burst out, “What shelter have I given? You’re as trapped as you were in his prison camp. I’m not helping you. I’m keeping you for him, nice and neat.”

“You and your clan put yourselves on the line. You’re willing to fight for me and Noelle. Don’t think that doesn’t mean something.”

He wanted the little he’d done to be meaningful to her. If only she’d have had the opportunity to say such a thing in a less dire situation. More importantly, he wanted her to find him significant. He wanted to be important to her.

The fearful darkness moved into her eyes as she gazed at him. She said, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m someone special. Like I’m something wonderful.”

There was no point in pretending he didn’t feel more for her than she ever could for him. Tasha was too smart … and Falinset was too tired to pretend anymore.

Resigned to rejection he said, “But you are wonderful. You saved your cousin. You got her out of Maf’s hands, past battle-trained Nobek soldiers. You are amazing.”

He believed that with all his heart. Despite the sometimes cold look that moved into her expression, Tasha was magnificent. There was the good Tasha, full of tenderness and gentle surrender. There was the strong Tasha, able to surmount obstacles that seemed impossible. Neither attribute detracted from the other; in fact, the differing qualities were complementary. The mixture drew him in, made him want more than he had a right to hope for. 

The anger in her voice flamed bright. “What if it’s not strength, Falinset? What if some of it is a sick need for bloodthirsty vengeance? What if I’m actually a monster under all this?”

His brows rose, not so much at her words but at the fear underlying the fury. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to comfort her with his presence. He sensed that she would not be comforted at all, however. He thought such a move would be seen as condescending.

Giving her a level look, he only said, “I doubt you’re anything close to a monster. You can’t be.”

Now there was pain as well as fear and anger. “I am though. I’ve already done it once before. I know I could do it again.”

“Exactly what did you do before, Tasha?” His voice was quiet, coaxing the truth out rather than demanding it.

“I killed a man. I committed murder. And then I let someone I love think she did it.”

Falinset blinked. Could that be true? He couldn’t see it, except – except she did look capable of it when discussing Maf or Ket. But after what they’d done, they deserved it.

What could have happened to make her kill before? What horror had she been exposed to?

Keeping his tone careful he said, “Tell me.”

She swallowed. Her eyes were distant, the hazel depths stormy as she looked into some place Falinset couldn’t see. “He was a neighbor when I lived on Earth. I was young, not quite a teenager. He was always so friendly, so good to all the kids on our block. He was handsome too, even though he was so much older. I had a silly school girl crush on him. I never for one moment thought he’d do anything to hurt us.”

It was as he’d suspected – Tasha, so ready to do battle for Noelle and the women Maf had abducted, had come to the rescue of someone else. “What did he do?”

“He took advantage of my infatuation. He cornered me away from all the others inside his house. He put his hands on me. Inside my bathing suit. He touched me and – and put his finger inside me.”

For a moment Falinset was caught in a quiet, unfeeling place, a void of perfect poise. Then wrath swept through him, making his ears roar and his blood rush like molten lava. Tasha had not gone to the rescue of someone wronged. She had been the one wronged.

She continued to speak, her voice far away, unknowing of his mounting rage against yet another enemy he could not save her from. “I was so scared. But he kept talking like I had a say in it. He told me, ‘You want this, don’t you? You like how it feels, right? You’ll keep our special secret forever, won’t you?’ Like I had a choice. He kept insisting I had a choice, that I was a willing part of it.”

She drew a shuddering breath before continuing. “I might as well have been. If the authorities had found out, I would have been held to be as guilty as my attacker.” Her sudden, shocking laugh was full of bitterness. “My biggest fear was for my twin, Cissy. I was afraid he’d go after her next and that she’d be found out.”

“What did you do?”

“I warned her and saw she was scared too. That she felt as helpless as I had. It made me angry. How was it girls as innocent as ourselves could be held responsible for that bastard’s actions? But we would be.”

Falinset felt the same helpless anger she described. But then, he’d been feeling that way for years now. Their circumstances may not have been the same, but the outcome was. They’d both been trapped and desperate to protect their loved ones.

Swallowing the incensed scream that tried to burst from his throat, he instead asked, “How did you do it? How did you kill him?”

“My sister – she’s always been the tough one, the one who doesn’t back down from a challenge. The hothead who acts first and repents later. After I told her what happened, I realized she might do something stupid. So I watched her like a hawk.”

Tasha’s hilarious stories of her twin had painted a picture of an impulsive Cissy who indeed reacted before thinking her actions out. He could well understand Tasha’s concerns.

“Sure enough, a couple days later she snuck out in the middle of the night and headed over to the neighbor’s house. She put lighter fluid on his doorframes and set them on fire. Then she ran back to our home.”

“He couldn’t get out,” Falinset guessed.

“Actually, he could have. We didn’t use vids for windows on Earth. We used the real thing.” Tasha glanced at the window vid again, but Falinset was sure she didn’t see Nur’s garden at that moment. “Also, the law mandated that he have a fire safety system in his home. As soon as the smoke detectors were alerted to the fire, they would open the windows automatically.”

“Did they?”

The darkness increased. “When I saw Cissy had left the bastard an out, I went to the house. I knew from our own home’s setup where I could find the system’s power box.” She took a breath and shuddered. “When I followed Cissy to his house, I was afraid she planned to confront him or something. I’d grabbed a big screwdriver to stab him with if I had to, to keep her safe. When I saw she was only trying to scare him, I used it to make a hole in the house’s thin wood veneer that overlay the storm-resistant outer shell. I’d miscalculated where the safety system’s box was, but the wiring was right there. I hacked at it until it was all torn up. I knew the windows would stay jammed shut because they’d never get a signal to open, even if he used the inside control panel. Then I went back a safe distance to watch the house burn.”

“So that’s how he died?”

Tasha made an abrupt sound that might have been a laugh or a sob. “Heaven forbid it be that easy. The smoke alarm finally went off and woke him up. I heard the sound of glass breaking at the back of the house. I knew he’d smashed through a window when he couldn’t get it open. I ran over to see him starting to crawl out.”

She turned to Falinset. Her eyes met his, the churning emotions roiling just beneath the surface. “He was going to escape. All he was going to lose was his house, his belongings. Things he could replace. I’d lost my innocence, my trust.”

“Things you couldn’t get back easily, if at all.” He knew the feeling all too well.

“I hated him, Falinset. He took the best parts of me, and it wasn’t fair. So I went to the window where he was trying to get out. It was a tight fit, but he would have made it. He looked up at me and held up one hand, as if asking me to help pull him free.”

“Did you use the screwdriver? Did you stab him?”

She shook her head. “It’s amazing how lucidly I could think at that moment. You’d think otherwise, right? But I could see everything crystal clear. I realized things were going to look hinky enough what with the lighter fluid being used. But arson leading to an accidental death was a possibility. I just had to do it right so outright murder wouldn’t be traced to me or Cissy.”

While rage and horror danced in her eyes, her voice went dead. She told him the end as if reporting on the weather. “So I picked up a sharp piece of glass lying around from him breaking the window. I picked it up and I cut his throat with it.”

Falinset watched her. This was the dark thing that lurked alongside her sweet nature. This was the cold steel that coexisted with the warm tenderness that made up Tasha Salter. The protectiveness that came so easily to her had led her to kill. Not for herself, no matter how horrifically she’d been injured, no matter how much she hated the man who’d stolen her innocence. But for her sister, to keep her from being targeted by the real monster of the tale.

If Falinset got his hands on Maf and carried out what had to happen to save them all, would it haunt him as it did Tasha? Would he wonder if he’d bowed to some inner bloodthirsty fiend, something beneath redemption?

Or would he recognize in himself, as he recognized in her, that he’d done what needed to be done to take care of the ones he loved?

“Then what?” he prodded. He needed to know all of it, for her as much for himself.

“He looked at me, his hand still reaching. It slowly drifted down to the ground. He made a strange gurgling noise. Then nothing. And that was all.”

“Was that truly all?”

Tasha shrugged. “Later the cops came around the neighborhood. They thought teenagers had set the fires as a prank, and the guy died when a piece of glass slashed his throat as he tried to escape. The hole I’d made in the wall was attributed to mice or rats. The authorities asked my parents questions, but never me or Cissy.”

“Does your sister know what happened?”

“I meant to tell her. I waited for the right time … but it never seemed to arrive. I mean, how was I supposed to say, ‘I cut the bastard’s throat so he wouldn’t get to you’?” Tasha shuddered. “I feel horrible that she thought it was her fault. I don’t think she ever intended him to die. For all her bluster, she’s softhearted. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that her sister was a coldblooded killer.”

“I doubt that’s true, Tasha. You’re not the type,” came Wekniz’s heavy voice.

Falinset and Tasha looked toward the door to see the Nobek and Nur there. Their faces were filled with concern.

“But I am,” she insisted. “Oh, there are nightmares from time to time. I can hear that awful wet noise in his throat to this day. But I’m not sorry I killed him. Not one bit.”

The two men came to them. They gathered so that the clan surrounded Tasha, Nur sitting on the side opposite Falinset. Wekniz knelt at her feet and took her hands.

“Of course you’re not. He was a monster, someone who hurt you and would hurt others. Who knows how many you saved from what he would have done?”

She cocked her head to one side, gazing at him with frank curiosity. “You don’t think there is something wrong with me? That I murdered a man with so little conscience? That I know I could do it again if Ket or Maf show their ugly faces around here?”