Alive (12 page)

“To shitty parents, amazing friends, and second chances.”

We take back the first shot and the warm feeling of Patron slowly starts to warm my belly. Immediately I take back the second and third shot and slowly bite into my lime.

“So it’s going to be that kind of night?” Jessie gives me a slow smile, raises her shot glass to me, tips her head back, and then her whole body shivers. “God, why do you love this stuff so much? It tastes awful.”

“Oh suck it up buttercup, it’s not that bad.”

I give her a small smirk, pick up the remaining two shot glasses, and down them in record time. Jessie is staring at me
wide eyed, and I think I slightly shocked her.

“What? I grew up in a bar, and I used to have contest with some of the younger guys to see who could drink the most tequila. I always won. Don’t act so shocked, it’s not like you weren’t there to witness me do this.”

“I know, it’s just been a long time since I’ve seen you drink like this. Let’s get out of here and go find us some hot guys to toy with for the night.”

She gives me a devilish smile, and we are on our way. I have no desire or interest in finding some hot guys to talk to tonight. I just want to dance. The slight fog of the tequila is helping me relax. I hope that in the next few hours I will become numb to the pain in my chest.

“What about you and Max? And don’t pretend that nothing is going on. I have been hearing things from other people when I should be hearing things from you. Spill it.”

She takes in a deep breath and slowly turns to face me. “If you are getting one night to forget shit then I am too. No questions. Not tonight. Please.”

I narrow my eyes at her, but I can’t argue with what she is saying. Neither one of us want to talk about our problems tonight.

“You don’t have to be scared to let someone get close to you,” I softly say.

She holds up her hand to stop me from saying anything else. “Not tonight, Abigail.” Her tone is serious, so I decide to drop it.

“OK, I'll drop it. Let’s go have fun.”

“Now you’re talking!” She gives me a big hug and we head outside.

When we arrive at the club we show the bouncers our fake IDs, then Jessie and I immediately make our way to the bar. As soon as we approach the bar, Jessie leans over and pushes her chest out just a little bit trying to get the bartender's attention. It doesn’t take him long to notice her and he quickly makes his way over.

“What can I get you two ladies tonight?” He looks over at me and rakes his eyes slowly down my body and then back up again before returning his stare to Jessie. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m not used to anyone checking me out like this. I remember that I’m dressed more like Jessie tonight, and not dressed in my usual attire. I usually scare guys off and make myself look unapproachable, but that doesn’t look like the case tonight.

“We will have one shot of Patron, one lemon drop shot, and two Jack and Cokes,” she sweetly says.

“Actually make that two shots of Patron, and only one Jack and Coke,” I say. Jessie tries to give me a glare, but I stick my tongue out at her and turn my focus back to the bartender.

“Coming right up, beautiful.” He smiles and winks at us both before going off to make our drinks. Gross. We take our drinks, and then head out to find a table.

“Let’s go dance, Abs.”

“Gladly.” We make our way to the dance floor and start dancing to the beat of the music and for the first time today I find myself starting to relax. There is something about being on a dance floor and dancing that makes me forget my troubles.

Before I know it, two arms come up from behind me and grab my hips, and my body automatically freezes. I turn around and I am starting into the light green eyes of Bryan, Adam’s friend. God, I can’t seem to escape all things that are Adam. I don’t think he recognizes me. I don’t look anything like I looked the night we met at Adam’s show.

“What’s a hot girl like you dancing all alone for? Need me to keep you company?” He moves in closer, grabs my hips and starts to dance. Then recognition flashes behind his eyes.

“Oh shit, Abigail? You look, wow, you look different. I didn’t even recognize you. You do know Adam is looking for you, right? He called us earlier all pissed off. He said he couldn’t find you, and that you turned off your phone. What happened? I’ve never heard him sound so upset.”

A flash of pain shoots through my chest.

“Adam and I aren’t together, and I do what I want. Tonight I want to get drunk off my ass and forget about my shitty life for once. And Adam falls into the category.”

My heart breaks just a little bit knowing that he’s upset, but who am I kidding, I am responsible for some of that pain.

“I’m no good for him, Bryan. I’m a fuck up and I ruin anything and anyone that gets close to me. Adam is too good to be ruined by someone like me.”

I normally wouldn’t have said that out loud, but alcohol tends to make me chatty. Bryan looks at me with sympathy, then leans over and whispers something in Max’s ear. I see Bryan pull out his cell phone, and when he glances up he has a guilty look on his face. Shit, what did he do? My brain is too foggy to process anything right now.

“I’m sure that’s not true, Abigail. We have never seen Adam fall for anybody before. We all used to joke that we thought he was gay. We never see him with girls. But when you walked into his life, it’s like you woke something inside him. He started smiling and laughing again. I feel like I got my friend back. It’s been years since I’ve seen him happy. You bring that out in him. So you do bring joy and happiness to people. Please don’t put yourself down like that. And uh, don’t tell Adam I said any of that either. It was all a little bit sappy.”

I give him a small smile. What a kind thing to say. I need to get away, go dance or drink more or something. I am supposed to be forgetting my problems tonight. But Bryan’s words are bringing tears to my eyes, and making me feel guilty for running away from Adam earlier today.

I shout at Jessie that I want to get another drink, and she mouths to Max that we will be right back.

“We will come with you girls. I don’t want anyone messing with you. Adam would kill me.” He says that last part under his breath. Max puts his hand on the small of Jessie’s back and guides her to the bar. She leans in close to him and wraps her arms around his waist. They look very comfortable together.

The bartender recognizes us and quickly comes over to see what we want. “I’ll take 3 shots of Patron.” I lean over to Max and ask what he wants. “Max, you want a beer?”

He nods his head once then leans over towards me. “Are all three of those shots for you? Do you think you should drink anymore?”

I glare at him and he looks like he’s torn as to what to do. “Yes, they are all for me. I am not a newbie to drinking Max. I can handle it.”

Jessie leans over and loudly shouts. “Hey, leave her alone, tonight is our one night to forget shit and drink until we puke. She can handle it. This isn’t her first rodeo.” She is already tipsy, and laughing more than she should. I roll my eyes at her, she is such a lightweight. Max leans closer to her and puts a protective arm around her shoulder. He is shooting daggers at the bartender and he has a possessive look in his eye. He is basically staking his claim on her. 

The bartender comes back with our drinks and lays my shots out in front of me. I lick my wrist, and then shake some salt onto it. I lick the salt, tip back all three shots in record time, and finish it off by biting into my lime.

“Damn Abigail, I think you could give me a run for my money.” Bryan is shaking his head and laughing in disbelief.

“Let’s go dance!” I make my way back onto the dance floor and that numb feeling I crave is starting to slowly take over, but it’s not nearly enough. I’ve only got a slight buzz. Jessie is pulling out all her moves on Max and I can see him turning into putty in her hands. Jessie tends to have that effect on guys. But the look in her eye tonight is a look I’ve never seen before. She looks…happy and comfortable. She usually uses guys for one thing, and one thing only. But she is looking at Max with affection and tenderness.

Bryan stays close to my side the rest of the night. If anyone gets too close to me he pushes them off and tells them I’m off limits. What the hell? I am not off limits to anyone. I want to dance, damn it. He has this whole big brother thing going on and I’m not sure how I feel about it. We do a few more rounds at the bar, and by our last round I found the perfect buzz. But I can’t for the life of me get Adam out of my head. I need more to drink, but Bryan and Max cut me off an hour ago. These guys are ruining my night.

“Hey, I need to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Bryan is talking to some girl and I don’t want to interrupt his game, so after assuring him many times that I’m a big girl and can pee on my own, he reluctantly lets me go. I really am going to the bar, but I’m not going to tell him that.

“There and back, and don’t talk to anyone.” I can see the conflict in his eyes about letting me go alone. Honestly. What is it with Adam and his friends? I am not a weak little thing who can’t handle myself. I have had a lot to drink tonight, but I am nowhere near as drunk as I want to be. The girl he is talking to gives me the stink eye, and I can’t help the giggle I let out.

“Hey, he’s all yours, no need to worry about me.” She rolls her eyes and starts kissing Bryan's ear. I see her move her hand down and cup the crotch of his pants. “She’s a classy one, Bryan, I think she’s a keeper.” I hurry up and walk away, I don’t want to cause a fight, but I think he is worth more than the girls he attracts.

I make my way towards the bar, but before I make it there, two familiar arms grab my hips. My skin starts to tingle, and all the air rushes out of my lungs. I know it’s him just by the way he makes me feel. No one can make me feel the way he does. Even through the thin layer of fogginess, I can feel the pull between us.

“You can’t run from me, Peaches. I won’t let you get away from me that easily. And what the fuck are you wearing? Your ass is barely covered. I don’t want people seeing what’s mine.” He growls the last part in my ear. Why does that sound so hot?

I try to slowly turn around, but I’m not used to wearing heels this high so I stumble closer into his arms. “I like the thought of being yours,” I softly say.

“How much have you had to drink? I told Bryan to not let you out of his sight. Why are you alone? I’ll kill him.” Geez, what’s with the third degree?

I start to count on my fingers the number of shots I had, but I keep losing track. “I lost track after 10 shots, so I can’t give you an accurate amount I’ve had to drink tonight, but I can assure you I am fine. As for my outfit, I actually kind of like it. You don’t like the way I look?  And third, I was just on my way to the bar, although I told Bryan I was going to the bathroom, he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. But I didn’t need him to babysit me, I’m a big girl.”

“I like this dress very much, Abigail. I can’t stop picturing how you would look on my bed, with this little scrap of fabric shoved up around your waist. What I don’t like is the way every guy is looking at you like you are a piece of meat. Let me get you home. I already spoke to Max and he’s taking care of Jessie tonight. Let’s get out of here.” Oh fucking my. Could he have made that sound any hotter? I start to follow him, then jerk my hand back.

“How did you know where I was?” It just occurred to me that he showed up out of nowhere.

“Bryan called me and told me he ran into you guys here. I came to get you as soon as I could. I was freaking out the whole way over here. I don’t like the thought of you being in a place like this without me. Especially in that outfit. You have no idea what this dress you are wearing is doing to me,” he seductively says in my ear. Heat pools between my legs and I can’t help the gasp that escapes my lips.

“Dance with me, please?” I lean my head down and look at him up through my lashes. Just seeing Adam makes me forget why I want to stay away.

He pulls me onto the dance floor and we lose ourselves in each other and the music. I have my back pressed up against his chest, and our hips are grinding along perfectly to the beat of the music. He reaches his hand around and holds me in place by my stomach, and his other hand is drawing little circles on my thigh. He is planting soft kisses on my shoulder, slowly moving towards my neck. I tilt my head farther to the side, allowing him easier access. I find myself starting to lose my self-control. I turn around and grab him behind his neck and kiss him like my life depends on it. His hands slid down my back until they reach my ass. He squeezes me, and pulls my body hard into him. I can feel how much he wants me and it’s taking everything in me not to let him take me right here on the dance floor. I am feeling brave because of the alcohol, but ever since I met Adam, he has been hard to resist. I feel like I’ve known him forever. He makes me feel things I never knew I could feel.

Adam breaks our kiss and looks me in my eyes. “I need to get you home. Now.” Adam basically drags me out of the club, and after two minutes of walking, more like stumbling on my part, he scoops me up and carries me the rest of the way to his car. I bury my head in the crook of his neck and inhale deeply. My head is still swimming from our kiss.

“Are you smelling me, Peaches?” I can hear the smile in his voice as he says this.

“I like the way you smell, it calms me,” I whisper out. His grip on me tightens and he kisses me on my forehead. I want to fight to separate myself from him, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know it’s selfish, but I allow myself to have one more night with him until I can muster up enough nerve to tell him my secret. Once he hears it, he probably won’t want me anymore.