All About the Hype (32 page)

‘Are you planning on being a douchebag?’ I ask, my eyes widening.

His eyebrows jump up. ‘Of course not!’ he exclaims. ‘I just want it to be perfect, that’s all. For you. I want it to be perfect for you.’

‘You love me. I love you. That makes it perfect,’ I say.

He locks eyes with me for a long few seconds and then bends down to kiss me.

It does hurt. The pain is searing and intense, but sort of exquisite in its own way, sort of beautiful. I guess that’s because I’m doing this with someone I really
love.

When it’s over and we’re both lying in a heap, I feel overcome with emotion. It’s done now. I’ve given myself away. Whatever I do, wherever I go, Jack will always be
imprinted on me, like a tattoo I can’t see, only feel. He was my first, a part of my history, and, I hope, a big part of my future. But in a week he’s leaving, and I’m staying.
The thought overwhelms me and I let go, bursting into tears.

Startled, he props himself up on his elbows and stares down at me.

‘Are you OK? Did I hurt you?’

‘It’s not that, I just feel a little overwhelmed.’

‘Baby,’ he says, carefully rolling off me and gathering me in his arms. He strokes my hair as I cry, his fingertips running across my temples. His hands are warm, but I think of Mum,
anyway, wondering what she’d make of Jack, if she’d like him. Would I have confided in her about tonight if she were still alive?

I guess I’ll never know.

After a while, we get dressed and go back downstairs to the party, but for me, this time, everything is different.
I’m
different. I don’t know what the next few months have
in store, whether All Hype will make it, whether Jack and I will, but I have a funny feeling about him, about us. I’m pretty sure we’ve got some distance left to run.

And I am more than ready for that journey.

The lights are bright and so very warm, and on the dance floor, dozens of beautiful people are throwing their arms over their heads as they move to music that none of us can
hear.

I feel like I’m in a very surreal dream, but actually I’m on the set of
Little Miss Mulholland
. Yes, Lottie actually did it! She got All Hype a slot on her TV show!

It’s been four and a half months since I went to England to see out the school year, and despite my initial concerns, the time has flown by. I spent a blissful week with Jack in the Easter
holidays, and I was in floods of tears when I had to say goodbye to him at the airport. But he flew over twice to see me, and we talked every day on the phone – and yes, FaceTimed, too,
something which Agnes loves teasing us about. We are still going strong – stronger than ever – and, if anything, our time apart strengthened our relationship.

In fact, the distance did all of my bandmates good. Miles had initially been a little off about the publicity surrounding my dad and me, but in our months of breathing space, all of us have had
time to think about what we really want. Both Brandon and Miles tried collaborating with other artists, but nothing really came of their efforts. Jack, meanwhile, used all of his spare time to
write songs for All Hype. My sexy boyfriend was confident that his mates would come to appreciate what good a thing we had, and he was right.

As soon as I saw Miles again a couple of weeks ago, he gave me the biggest hug and told me how much he’d missed me and that he honestly couldn’t imagine being in a band with a
different frontperson. We are all completely committed to making this work.

This new determination must’ve been apparent to Lottie. She’s talked for ages about getting All Hype on her show, but she’s only just made it happen. I can see her, right now,
on the other side of the set, acting out a crazy shouting match with Peter, who plays her brother, Zachary. It’s so much fun to watch them in action.

‘CUT!’ The director shouts, making me jump. He turns and points his finger straight at us, standing in the wings. ‘Right, All Hype – you’re next! Take to the
stage!’

I feel a flurry of nerves as the set becomes a hive of activity around us, with huge cameras being wheeled our way and film crew buzzing round.

We’re in a big studio in Hollywood, and the set that we’re currently standing in is a pretend nightclub called The Looking Glass where Lottie’s character, Macy, and her friends
hang out. On TV, the club looks so real, but one glance upwards shows cables and wires dangling from the ceiling, and the walls are so flimsy, I could probably push them over. Brandon told me
earlier that the bottles behind the bar contain water, dyed with food colouring. I guess the crew aren’t taking any risks with their underage cast…

The extras are having a breather and chatting amongst themselves, but soon they’ll be dancing to one of our songs. At least they’ll be able to move to real music next time, even if
it will only be coming from a recording we did a few days ago. I hope to God I can lip sync, because we have to mime.

Jack reaches across and squeezes my hip. ‘You OK?’ he asks in a low voice, his eyes steady on mine.

I nod, wondering how long it will be before we can escape to his place. His stepdad, Tim, and his mum are currently in the Bahamas, so we’ve been making the most of our privacy.

‘Don’t be nervous,’ he whispers, stepping closer to give me a kiss on my forehead.

I grab his wrist to stop him from moving away again and he pauses, before enfolding me in his arms. He holds me there for a moment and I begin to feel calmer, but I still want to kiss him. I
tilt my face up to do just that.

‘NO!’ I hear someone yell, and we break away from each other to see the make-up artist hurrying towards us, wielding her make-up bag like a weapon.

‘Sorry!’ I exclaim.
Whoops.

‘At least it’s not red,’ she mutters under her breath as she reapplies my lipstick. Jack and I grin at each other, but I’m the one who gets told off for not managing to
keep a straight face.

‘Stay still!’ she warns as she puts the finishing touches to my lips.

‘
I love you
,’ Jack mouths at me, his face growing serious. It’s everything I can do not to mouth the same thing back.

‘Your turn,’ the make-up artist says to Jack. ‘And then no more kissing!’

Jack solemnly flashes her the Scout promise as she cleans him up.

Lots of upcoming bands have stood on this exact same stage, and many have been propelled to stardom after their episode has aired. We still haven’t signed a record deal – Dad urged
us to wait for the big guns and we’re taking his advice. Who knows what the future has in store? I still have two more years of school here in LA, but I’m relieved that my GCSEs are out
of the way.

Oh! I passed! Not with flying colours – come on, this is me we’re talking about – but I was beside myself to get an ‘A’ in English, and Stu was proud of my efforts,
especially considering what I’ve been through in the last year and a half.

‘OK, everyone, take your places!’ the director shouts.

More butterflies cram into my stomach as the extras return to the dance floor, and then the crowd parts and Lottie – Little Miss Mulholland herself – waltzes towards the front,
flanked by the two actresses who play her onscreen besties. She catches my eye and gives me the thumbs up, but then she’s looking past me and it doesn’t take a genius to work out that
she’s smiling at Brandon. I glance over my shoulder in time to see him look away, and when I return my gaze to Lottie, her smile has slipped, the light diminished slightly from her eyes.

My heart hurts on her behalf. Brandon is still very much devoted to his girlfriend, but I have a feeling he and Lottie will have their own story to tell one day.

At least Agnes has been lucky in love. Brett is moving to America permanently next week after getting a job here, and Agnes has been practically bouncing off the walls in her excitement. I am
so,
so
happy for her. I like Brett, and it’s going to be fun hanging out as a foursome this summer.

Sienna and I have stayed in touch by email and we’re catching up for a coffee when she returns from Italy where she’s shooting the next CiaoCiao campaign. She seems to be in a good
place. We haven’t really talked about Dana or what happened, but I think her wounds are beginning to heal.

As for Margarita, Gina and co, I haven’t heard a peep from them for months. Maybe our teen girl squad will reform once I’m back at school, but I’ll be taking it all with an
enormous pinch of salt. I still like them – they were nice to me, after all – but I’m not confusing what we had for genuine friendship. Agnes, on the other hand, I love to
bits.

‘Hey,’ I hear a deep voice say, turning to see my dad hop up onto the stage to join me. A frisson of excitement passes over the extras and, out of the corner of my eye, I see the
director do a double take. Johnny has stayed out of sight until now.

‘Good luck, chick. You look the part.’

‘Thanks, Dad,’ I say warmly.

He flew over from Stockholm to be with me for this – he’s right in the middle of his European dates, but he had a few days off, and I’m so grateful he used them to catch up
with me.

Meg told me on the phone a couple of days ago that she’s had it up to her ears with touring. She and the boys are coming back at the end of the summer for Barney to start the next school
year, and Johnny is going to carry on with his US dates alone. Meg is hiring a nanny to take care of the boys – and me, I guess – so she can fly out to support her husband whenever she
wants to. She must be feeling more secure; that he’s not going to spiral downhill without her around to take care of him. I’m so glad they’re back to their best after what I put
them through.

‘Any tips about miming?’ I ask my dad.

‘Nope.’ He smirks. ‘I’ve always played live.’

‘Damn,’ I mutter.

He chuckles and squeezes my shoulder. ‘You know this song like the back of your hand, Jess. Just sing it like you’ve been doing and you’ll be fine.’

I take a deep breath and exhale in a rush of air. I notice we still have the director’s attention.

‘Do you fancy doing a cameo?’ I ask with a cheeky grin. The director’s ears prick up. He is
so
eavesdropping on our conversation.

Johnny chuckles and shrugs, but he doesn’t say an outright no. Wait,
is he considering it
?

‘Oh my God, go on, that would be so cool!’ I erupt. I would
love
to see him out the front!

‘Shhh!’ he warns, frowning at me in alarm before looking round to clock the director. The man’s jaw has just hit the floor. He hurries over to us.

‘Kevin Mansini,’ he introduces himself, shaking Johnny’s hand. ‘I couldn’t help overhearing. Are you serious?’ he asks eagerly.

Johnny gazes at him calmly, then at me, before looking back at him. ‘Yeah, what the hell,’ he says finally with a shrug.

I actually squeal.

‘But you’re not putting that shit on me!’ Johnny warns, stopping the make-up artist in her tracks.

She gives him a puppy dog look. ‘Just a little powder, I promise. You don’t wanna look shiny under the lights,’ she beseeches.

Johnny sighs. ‘Go on, then.’

I try to stifle my giggles as she gets to work.

Stu didn’t come to the studio today, but he’s looking forward to hearing all about the filming tonight. He’s in LA for the summer, acting as my chaperone. I know he’s
missing Caroline – they’re well and truly an item now and I’m at peace with it. I’ve always liked her and I want Stu to be happy – Caroline, too. I feel guilty that
I’m the reason they’re currently apart, but Caroline is coming to California on holiday soon, so they’ll be spending lots of time together then.

Tom is also coming, and his sister Becky, but they’re staying with their dad. It’ll be Becky’s first time meeting Riley, and Tom tells me they’re both nervous. Fingers
crossed it will go well. Apparently Becky’s really missed having a relationship with her dad. I can relate.

And yes, it has occurred to Tom and I that, if Caroline and Stu get married, we’ll be stepsiblings. That would be so weird… He and I are good friends now – and it’s
completely platonic. He was my rock when I went back to school. I found it hard at first, being ogled like I was some sort of celebrity, but after a while, everything settled down and people got
over it. Everyone except Nina. For some reason – jealousy, probably – she really had it in for me, but when Tom overheard her telling me that I thought I was ‘it’, he gave
her hell. She’s had a crush on him for ages, so his rant must’ve stung, but it did the trick: she was saccharine-sweet to me after that.

Not that her good behaviour got her anywhere with the object of her affection. Tom now has a new girlfriend – a lovely girl called Ava who, funnily enough, was in his class all along.
Together with Libby, Lou, Chris and me, we had a great little gang when I was back at school in the UK. We hung out most lunchtimes and some evenings, when Nat and our college pals would join us.
I’m going to miss everyone now that I’m back in LA, but no doubt we’ll see each other again soon. I guess I’ll always be jumping back and forth between two different
countries and two sets of friends, but that’s OK. I’ve learnt that I’m pretty adaptable. And of course, I also have two dads, now, too.

I’ve promised Stu that I won’t give him any trouble this summer – not with him forgoing his Caroline-time to be with me. I will
absolutely
one hundred per cent behave
myself.

Well, maybe one hundred per cent is pushing it. Let’s say ninety per cent. Or eighty… On second thoughts, perhaps I shouldn’t make promises I can’t keep. This is Jessie
Jefferson we’re talking about, after all.

Yes, Jessie Jefferson. I’ve come round to it, to the idea of who I am, who I want to be, and I believe in my heart of hearts that if Mum could see the journey I’ve been on,
she’d understand me taking my dad’s name at last. This is the way it
should
be, and Johnny
is
my dad – the best dad I could hope for. It only took him sixteen
years to get there…

‘OK, everyone into position!’ Kevin, the director, shouts.