All Falls Down (16 page)

"It's so beautiful," I whisper, just taking in the sight before me.

Jared presses a kiss to my cheek, right beside my ear. "I thought you'd appreciate it."

"I do," I breathe. It's almost… magical. A little fairytale world tucked away, waiting for someone to come along and discover it. "How did you know this was here?"

He steps back and takes my hand in his again, pulling me into the center of the clearing before tossing the blanket down and sitting. He eases me down with him, cradling me between his legs, against his chest. His arms wrap around me again, pulling me close, before he answers. "My mom has volunteered here for as long as I can remember. She's terrible at keeping any kind of plant alive, but she loves to come out here and dig her fingers into the soil. She says it grounds her."

The more Jared tells me about his mom, the more I like her. She sounds so full of life, like Caitlyn always was.

"I came here with her a lot when they first adopted me," he says, a smile in his voice. "The staff let me explore while she helped with the planting and weeding. I was hell on wheels for the most part, but I always loved it here. It was very calming."

"I always thought so too," I tell him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I didn't get to come often, but when I did, I always felt like I should whisper, you know? I thought I'd upset the natural order of things if I talked too loudly." A blush suffuses my cheeks, embarrassment whispering through me at my admission. "I may have read too much."

Jared kisses my neck again. "I know what you mean. I think mom brought me with her so often because I was so quiet when I was here. I just felt less restless. It gave her a break from trying to keep up with me during the summers."

"You found this place then?" I ask curiously, leaning further into him. I can't really imagine him as a precocious little boy. He's so put together now. So in control. For some reason, it relieves me that he was a wild child. After what he went through with his biological father, he deserved the opportunity to be a little boy. Knowing he got that chance makes me happy.

"Yeah," he says.

"Well, it's beautiful."

He tilts my head back and kisses me.

His lips are soft and inviting against mine. Reality slips away, my attention focused on the way our mouths move together and the way heat twists through me.

He turns me around carefully and settles me on his lap.

I balance myself with my hands on his shoulders and just stare at him.

"So are you," he finally whispers, reaching up to touch my cheek again. "So beautiful."

The simple way he says this causes something to unfurl in my chest. For the first time, I take the lead and kiss him. His lips part beneath mine, his tongue darting out to tease along my bottom lip.

"Jared," I moan softly.

He shifts me closer and I grasp his shoulders, deepening the kiss. Our tongues come together, break apart, and then come together again. He groans, his hands moving up and down my back. I wriggle on his lap, trying to ease the pressure building low in my stomach, between my legs.

I have goose bumps everywhere as we move against one another, panting and groaning.

His hard heat burns through his jeans and he feels so good to me.

Cupping my head in his hand, he begins to lie back, pulling me down with him.

I stiffen and he instantly stops moving.

"Jared, I–"

"Just lay with me, beautiful girl," he whispers against my lips. "Nothing else."

Just lay… I can do that.

I relax slowly and let him pull us to the ground. We kiss languidly for long moments. The sun is warm on my back, he's so gentle, and everything is just right. He rolls us over, laying me carefully on the blanket beneath him, his hand still supporting my head.

I squint against the sun and he breaks the kiss. He's hovering over me, staring down at me with this expression… It's light and dark and it pierces me, a bolt of desire tearing through me.

He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine. His eyes bore into me and take my breath away again. "Is it too soon to be falling in love with you?" he whispers.

He's falling in love with me.

I take a deep breath and shake my head, stunned by his words and the emotion behind them. I can't speak. Can't think of a single word, in fact.

"You own me completely, Savannah," he murmurs. "Completely."

"Kiss me," I breathe, reaching up to tangle my hands in his hair.

His lips meet mine again, and for the first time in my life, I know what perfection is.

It's Jared, flowers, and warm sunshine on my face.

Chapter Ten: Together Again

The afternoon passes in a blanket of wildflowers and a sea of drugging kisses. Puffy clouds pass overhead. Jared and I lay together, talking quietly. Our touches are soft, and our kisses slow. We don't speak again of his confession, but the words still course through me, unwinding slowly, filling me with sensations I'm not even sure I know how to describe.

Everything is so soft and warm, as if he's smoothed away every blemish and erased every stain that Toby left behind. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I can't even remember the last time I felt this way.

People call out to one another on occasion, but for the most part, nothing intrudes in our little hideaway. The gurgle of water drowns out traffic. The earthy scent of plants and flowers mask the odors of the city.

It's just me, Jared, and sunshine.

It doesn't last though.

As the afternoon draws to a close, Jared lifts me to my feet and we return to the car, his fingers linked with mine. He lifts my hand to his lips periodically, perhaps sensing the unease fighting to break through and twist the afternoon into something darker in my mind. He tries to ease me with the press of his lips to my skin, but storm clouds start roiling inside of me again.

I try to push them back and cling to what he's given me today, but as he speeds toward the mansion, I can't. Somewhere up ahead, reality waits for me. And reality is still a bitch.

Jared reaches out to stroke my cheek.

"Will I see you later?" I ask.

He glances over at me and smiles. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away from you tonight, beautiful girl."

His response is beautiful, and I find myself wanting to kiss him and cry at the same time. He's so perfect. Not in that flawless way, but in a completely different way. He knows what he wants and he isn't afraid to reach for it, isn't afraid to tell me what he's thinking or how he feels. How
I
make him feel. But he's not really mine.

Even if he doesn't love her, he's Lexi's.

Clouds blot out a little more of the sunshine he's given me. I want to ask him to promise me not to touch her, but I can't find the voice to do it. I think I'm afraid of what he might say if I do.

"I'll miss you," he says a few minutes later. "Not being able to kiss you is torture for me, Savannah." He smiles at me sadly and runs his index finger across my lips before dropping his hand again. He laces it with mine once more, squeezing my fingers.

His words should be enough to silence the unease rushing through me, but they're not. My hand shakes in his when Demetri opens the gates a few minutes later with a polite wave to both of us. He's so tall and muscular. His ebony skin is gorgeous. He can't see our clasped hands, but I have to fight the urge to slink down in my seat anyway.

Maddi and Kit stand outside the front door of the mansion, speaking to Jared's brother. Chris is a mountain of a man with an easy smile. He makes me uncomfortable, though I'm not sure why. Maybe because he's just so massive.

Toby was big… huge.

We creep up the driveway.

My heart actually seems to tremble in my chest.

"Stay with me," Jared whispers, parking the car neatly in front of the sprawling mansion. His eyes cut to mine, pleading with me. "Don't go there."

I try to smile at him and fail miserably.

It was so easy in the dark of night and in our own little bubble to forget that my life isn't perfect. Staring out the window at the mansion, it's impossible to forget it. I feel like Cinderella again. Only I have no glass slipper to leave behind. All I have is my heart, and I'm not nearly confident enough to believe it's enough.

Is Lexi in love with him? Will she hate me if she finds out about this?

Hope and reality crash together somewhere in the middle of my chest, leaving me unnerved and uncomfortable. How can I face the girls and smile when I'm lying to them? Carrying on with their sister's boyfriend behind her back?

"Savannah?"

"I'm okay," I lie to him.

I think he knows it's not true.

I can't just go from being with him to not being with him in the amount of time it takes to close the car door behind me. I need distance first, a moment to regroup and breathe. But the girls are watching us from the steps and I don't have that time. I don't even have time to explain what I'm thinking about.

It's now or never.

I squeeze his hand before slipping it from his and reaching for the door handle. Maddi and Kit call out greetings when I step from the car. They're both smiling at me, trust and affection evident in their expressions.

Lightning crashes in the center of my chest again.

Maddi bounds down the steps and throws her arms around me. She's babbling a thousand miles a minute, peppering me with questions about this afternoon. My head spins, leaving me speechless.

"'Mad, let her breathe," Kit demands, catching my eye. She arches a brow, silently asking if I'm okay.

I shrug. It's a safe response, one that says everything and nothing at all.

"Sorry," Madeline mumbles, contrite, and steps back.

I smile at her. "How was your day?" I ask before she can demand answers about mine again.

"Kit's going back to school." She sighs a little, shadows moving through her eyes.

I hear Jared's door close behind me.

The urge to turn to him courses through me, nearly overwhelming me.

I lock my muscles tight, fighting to focus on the girls.

"I'll only be a few minutes away if you need me," Kit says, stepping up beside Maddi and tugging gently at one of her curls. Maddi slaps her hand away and Kit smiles at her. "You know I'll come back anytime you need me," she promises.

Madeline nods and then sighs again. "I wish you'd stay here with me."

My heart breaks a little at the tremble in her voice, and I just want to hug her. Of course she wants her sister here. She's only eleven. It's just not fair that she's parentless.

Kit's shoulders slump.

Chris steps up beside Madeline, flicking her ear. "What am I? Chopped liver?"

Madeline giggles a little and pokes him in the side.

I jump when Jared chuckles from behind me.

Kit shoots me an odd look and I offer her a wan smile.

Please don't ask me if I'm okay
, I plead silently.

I'm not sure if she understands or not, but she turns to Jared without questioning me. "Thank you for taking Savannah out today."

"It was my pleasure," he says.

His words are innocent enough, but they wash over me as if he's said something else entirely. My body actually aches with the need to feel his arms around me again. I think I sway a little.

He steps closer.

Heat crackles between us.

I curl my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms. I wonder how no one else notices the current between us, but they don't. They're just standing there, oblivious to the way my heart races and my palms sweat. Oblivious to the way my body seems to react to his nearness, trying to physically force me closer to him.

"Where'd you go?" Maddi demands.

"We had Greek and then we visited the Gardens."

"I love the Gardens," she sighs dramatically.

"There is nothing more beautiful," Jared agrees, stepping forward into our little circle. His eyes meet mine over her head. They're so green, so earnest, and I know he isn't talking about the Gardens. He's talking about me.

I sway again.

When Lexi appears in the doorway of the mansion, guilt hits me hard, knocking the breath out of me. She seems so vulnerable, so fragile. Her gaze sweeps across our little group, a small smile on her face when she sees me and Jared standing there.

She's happy to see us, I realize. She trusts us.

And I can't handle it.

"I'm gonna go shower," I murmur, my heart in my throat. "I'll see you all at dinner."

Five sets of eyes follow me as I flee to the relative safety of the guesthouse.

Jared's gaze burn the hottest.