All Good Things Exposed (12 page)

"Are you serious?" I asked on a laugh. It sounded spiteful. "You're not the center of my life."

His eyes hardened. "That's obvious. But you're the center of mine." I gasped at his admission and he continued, not missing a beat. "You either decide to do this with me or you don't. It's your choice."

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you threatening to end our relationship?"

"If that's what it takes, Olivia." He nodded. "I want you. I want all of you, not just half. You either let me in or you push me out for good. This is your choice."

Chapter 9

I watched as her eyes fell to the floor. There was no doubt in my mind she was processing my words. I could see they hurt and terrified her because her blushed skin paled significantly. Her hands shook as they fell to her side only to lift and toy with a strand of chocolate hair. A nervous gesture I'd come to recognize.

I fucking hoped she couldn't see through my façade. I needed her to believe I would walk away if she refused to let me in. I knew the truth however. I could never walk away from her. She owned me. She held my balls in one fist and my heart in her other. I couldn't walk away from her if my life depended on it. But I could manipulate her into letting me in. I could manipulate her into trusting me. I was certain of it.

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, worrying it as she thought. "I was at the track with Kyle."

I nodded. I already knew this. Although it pissed me off, I knew she had gone to the track on countless occasions while we were on a
break
. What I didn't know was why. I wanted to know why she ran to the track. To him. From what I had been told, there was nothing sexual or romantic about her relationship with Kyle. My sources told me she went for the ride and left. She never stayed around to talk and he never chased after her. I didn't understand the relationship and I was thoroughly regretting taking her there in the first place.

I nodded, refusing to allow an ounce of emotion into my face. She was the only one who seemed to possess the ability to read me. That both intrigued and irked me. "Why?"

"I needed it."

"You needed what?" Now I was mad. What could he give her that I couldn't?

"I needed the speed." She shrugged. "I used to go because I needed to feel something other than,"

She stopped talking and shame flooded her face. It took all I had in me not to close the distance between us and pull her into my arms. "Don't shut me out, Olivia." I pleaded gently.

Her eyes lifted to mine and they were moist with unshed tears. My heart wilted. "I need to feel something other then desperation and fear. I just needed to feel alive."

Holy fuck. The words she spoke sent a torrent of terror through me. Olivia felt like that? My Olivia felt as though she was dying inside? I didn't think about my next move, I just made it. In only a few strides, I had her in my arms. Her face was pressed against my chest and her sobs rocked her frame. I rubbed gentle circles into her back because this was what I found soothed her. "I'm sorry." My voice came out raw. "I'm so sorry I made you feel that way." And then a thought came to me. Did she feel like that today? Is that why she ran to him? Had I made her feel so desperate she needed to remember she was alive? "Why did you run to him today?"

She pulled away from me. Her brown eyes looked up into my face to study me and she frowned. "I've never run to Kyle, Jace." She placed a gentle hand on the side of my face and the pad of her thumb caressed the skin beneath my eye. "I went today because I was angry. I was so angry I was scared. I just wanted to be calmed by the speed. I needed it. I never want you to feel that you are the reason I need it. I need the speed because of me…because of my weakness."

"You're not weak." I said gruffly. There was so much emotion rolling around inside me…I didn't know what else to say.

"You're sweet."

I held her face in my hands and brought my lips to hers. She melted against me upon contact and I groaned involuntarily. I loved how responsive she was to me. It only added to the preposterous belief that she was…in some screwed up way…made for me.

Her lips moved against mine, slowly at first, and then there was a hunger in her kiss that drove me to wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer into my chest. With her heart pounding against mine in perfect sync, I felt as though I had found my place. For the first time in my life, I found someone who resides on the same frequency as me. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. There is no letting her go after this. She is mine, whether she knows it or not. She is mine.

I pulled away and she gasped for breath. I could admit this wasn't my original approach, but I had to ask. "You know I would do anything for you, right?"

She cocked her head. "I think so."

"I would, Olivia." I said adamantly, slipping my finger under her chin to force her to look up at me when she tried to look away. "I would do anything. I want you happy. I care about your happiness more then I care about anything else. Can you promise me something?"

Her eyes narrowed but they maintained contact with mine. "I don't know."

"Will you come to me when you need to feel the speed? Will you let me be the one who calms you and gives you everything you need?"

"Why Jace?" She shook her head and I knew she was uncomfortable. "I like riding with Kyle. There is nothing holding me to him. There are no responsibilities. It's why I go with him."

I felt my heart grow heavy in my chest. "Damn it, I just want you rely on me for your happiness."

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I can't, Jace."

"Why?"

"Because I can't take the risk of relying on you for so much and having you leave me. I was crushed when you walked away and I was the one who told you to go. I could barely find the desire to get myself up out of bed…and the funny thing is that I wasn't even sleeping. I can't make you my entire life and hurt ten times more when you leave again."

"I'm not leaving, Olivia." I was frustrated that it kept coming back to that one moment. If I had known this was where we would be when I obliged her wished that night, I would have forced her to let me stay. I never would have walked away the way I did. I would have immersed myself in her life. Fuck, I never would have left!

Her smile was sad. "You don't know this, Jace. You don't know what our future holds."

"But I do." I dragged a hand through my hair. "You're my future. Damn it, I only want you."

"Right now." She sighed and turned her back to me. "Jace, I'm your sex slave. Nothing more."

***

He needed to know where this sudden need for me was coming from. I had read about this online in the many times I'd researched sadomasochism. The dominant, in this situation was Jace, would eventually come to need his submissive, me. The need would border on obsessive possessive. It was difficult to see this and know where it stemmed and why, because Jace was always obsessive possessive…especially over me. But he'd never acted so desperate the way he was now. This was because he believed he had me as his submissive. Although I read about it taking much longer for the dominant to grow so dependent on his submissive, I believed my constant need to fight his dominance was egging him to need my submission that much more. So that was what I would give him. I would give him all of me. I would shed my pride. I would clamp my teeth down on my inner independence and I would allow him this moment to rule in the way he needed. I would do this, because I loved him.

Everything I did for him came back to this - this love for him. I longed to hear him admit his feelings for me in such a way. I longed to know he loved me…but I didn't think he did. Jace needed me. He needed something from me and when he finally got it - when he licked me dry - he would leave me. Because as much as he claimed he would stay, I couldn't allow myself to believe in his words. They were only words. I needed actions. I needed to see his actions of commitment before I allowed myself to believe the untamable Jace Rush would settle with a woman like me.

I shook the thoughts from my mind as I moved across the office to the door. I locked it and moved back to the fireplace. I felt chilled to the bone about what I was going to do. But, at the same time, there was excitement. It made me feel…ill.

I turned back to face Jace. I was careful not to make eye contact, but I could feel his cobalt eyes on me, warming my flesh. I started with the buttons of my blouse. Nimble fingers worked at my clothing slowly and when I finally pulled the last of the fabric from where it was tucked into my skirt, I shrugged and let it fall to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Jace asked hoarsely.

I didn't reply. Instead, I pulled the zipper on the skirt and slipped the material down my hips. Next, I removed my stockings, my bra and my panties. My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I didn't feel empowered. I wanted to look up at him and gauge his thoughts, but I couldn't bring myself to act. I kept my eyes trained on the floor as I knelt down on the rug before the fireplace. I was thankful for the flames that kissed my chilled skin as I locked my arms behind my back.

There was a part of me that longed for Jace to tell me to get back up on my feet like a woman equal to him. But I knew that wouldn't happen and the sooner I accepted this as who he was and what he needed then I would find more enjoyment in it. I knew this because I had enjoyed it the last time. I enjoyed giving him complete control because in giving him such control, I'd proven to him how I trusted him. I needed to show him this again. I needed him to know I trusted him entirely, but I couldn't count on him being everything for me. In the time we had together, I would give him my all. It was all I could do.

I heard Jace sigh as he paced in front of me. Then, suddenly, he stopped. Jace faced me. His feet were in my direct line of vision, his toes pointed to me. His hands went to work at the waist of his pants, and when I looked up at the movement, I saw his pants were tented. This pleased me. I had problems.

"This is for me, Olivia, not you." Jace said stiffly. He was aroused, but he was clearly angry. I was confused. "We were having a conversation you interrupted to please me. And, that's fine. But you will get no pleasure from this." Oh, he was most definitely angry. Oops. "Open your mouth." He commanded as he pulled his perfectly sculpted penis from his pants. The head was so close to my face. The tip was shiny with moisture and my stomach fluttered. This was how he responded to
me
. "Take my dick in your mouth and suck. Make me come for you, in your mouth and swallow."

I didn't hesitate. I took him in my mouth. I felt him deep in the back of my throat as I took him as far as I could. My tongue swirled around his tip when I pulled back, before I slowly took him in my mouth.

Jace sighed. "Ah shit, Angel." He groaned and I continued with the torturous movement. "I'm going to fuck your mouth."

Jace tangled his hands in my hair, grasping the back of my head tightly. With my head firmly in place, he thrust his hips forward, his cock grazing the back of my throat before pulling out to repeat. All the while, I sucked hard. I ignored the need to gag at his penetration and when his cock thickened and his thrusts quickened, I knew he was about to come. I prepared myself as best I could as he slid over my tongue. His cock twitched and salty sweet liquid poured into the back of my throat. I swallowed every drop, eager to please him.

The last drop fell from Jace and I swallowed. He pulled himself from my mouth, shoving his still erect penis back into his pants before stepping back. I looked up at him for the first time and my stomach pummeled at the cold look in his hypnotic eyes.

"Stand up." His voice was just as stern as his eyes and I was quick to oblige his command. "Open your legs." I cocked my head in question. I thought I was getting nothing from this? I wanted to ask, but I didn't dare. With the look he wore on his face, I wanted to crawl into a hole where I was safe. I spread my legs just the finest amount and Jace stepped toward me. His hand moved toward me and I tightened everywhere. Admittedly, I was nervous.

Jace frowned when I flinched, but he didn't stop his advance. His warm finger met with my sex and he sighed. "You're wet."

I nodded. "I am."

His eyes flickered to mine as he pulled his hand away. I watched him lick the moisture from his finger as he turned his back to me. "What time are you off?"

I swallowed. "Um, in a half hour."

"Good." He walked to the door. "Get dressed. I'll be waiting for you. You'll be coming home with me tonight."

"Jace," I began to protest but my words fell away when he pinned ice blue eyes on me.

"I spoke with Trisha." His tone was not one I dared to argue with. "She's aware you will be spending the night with me." With that, Jace walked from the office.

I stood staring at the closed door with my mouth hanging open and my clothes on the floor. I couldn't believe this was happening to me, but none-the-less, I bent, picked up my clothing, and dressed myself as quick as I could. I thought about leaving my office to find Jace, but I couldn't seem to find the courage. Instead, I curled up on the couch closest to the fire and fought the tears threatening to surface.

Never before had I ever felt so used and humiliated. I'd sucked Jace dry, knowing all the while he wouldn't reciprocate the action. I didn't think it was his lack of affectionate touch that humiliated me so deeply. I think it was the fact that he'd literally fucked my mouth…and I'd liked it. I liked pleasuring him even at my own expense. But then he'd gone and touched me. I'd felt like a science project as he'd swiped his finger over my wet, swollen flesh to confirm what he already knew. That I would be wet. For him.

That was humiliating. The way he pulled his finger away from me with a look of utter confidence on his face, as he stood clothed before my naked body. Cloaked in judgment, I felt netted by shame at my inner turmoil. I'd always believed the act of making love should be selfless. But this time it had been anything but. This time, I hadn't been making love to Jace - I'd been dominated by him.