All He Ever Desired (10 page)

Ryan stormed into the lodge, cursing himself for a fool as he yelled his sister’s name. He couldn’t dance with Lauren. He should have told her he was too busy doing something wedding related or come up with some other lame excuse.

Just watching her in that dress all night had turned him into a walking erection. He’d spent more time hiding behind tables and chairs than anything else, and appearances were the least of his problems. He was afraid his balls were going to explode if he didn’t get to escape soon. Holding her in his arms in front of his entire family was nothing but a recipe for disaster.

He was halfway up the staircase when Liz appeared at the top. She was a little flushed and he wondered if she’d had too much to drink.

“Everybody’s looking for you,” he said. “They’re going to cut the cake in a few minutes and you don’t want to be missing from the pictures.”

“I’m coming.” She didn’t stagger on the stairs, so he figured she must not be too drunk.

“You doing okay?” he asked when she’d reached him. He didn’t imagine there was much worse after ending a long-term relationship than suffering through a joyful wedding.

“I’m fine.”

“You tell Rosie yet?”

“No. I told you, I’m going to tell her right before I leave.”

“Yeah, but she has a way of knowing when secrets are being kept, and that’s a pretty big one.”

She rolled her eyes and smoothed her hands over her dress. “I’ll tell her soon. But for now, I’m going to go have cake and try not to catch the bride’s bouquet.”

He was turning to go back outside when he heard a thump from upstairs and frowned. Running through his immediate family members in his mind, he realized everybody who had a room upstairs was out in the yard. The extended family was staying in the guest rooms.

“Who’s up there?”

“Probably one of the kids,” Liz said, but the flush across her cheeks grew more pronounced.

Oh, crap, he thought. Drew freakin’ Miller was upstairs. And the chief of police had put the color in his sister’s cheeks, not the champagne.

He did
not
want any part of that. God only knew how Mitch would take it. Not that it was necessarily his business, but there was kind of an unspoken code. Drew was Mitch’s best friend and Liz was his little sister. And Ryan was going to pretend he couldn’t add two plus two.

“I hope if the kids are running around, they don’t break anything,” he said, and kept on walking.

Somehow he ended up on the opposite side of the cake table from Lauren, which put her squarely in his line of vision.

When she laughed at something Hailey said, her eyes sparkling with amusement, Ryan’s breath caught in his throat. He wanted to be the one making her laugh. His body ached to be close to her, but at the same time he thought that might be a very bad idea.

He couldn’t take much more torture and that’s exactly what seeing Lauren and not touching her was. And he didn’t think dancing with her would be nearly enough. In fact, he was pretty sure that would only make it worse. And he’d been doing a good job of hiding his feelings from his family, he thought, but if he led her out onto the makeshift dance floor, everything he felt would be on display. Not only to the family—and his brothers would be merciless—but to Lauren.

“Ten bucks says she shoves cake up his nose,” he heard Kevin say, and he realized the cake had been cut.

“Done,” Josh said. “She won’t do it.”

Mitch had a small slice between his fingers and Ryan watched as he held it to Paige’s mouth so she could take a dainty bite off the end. The crowd groaned and the bride and groom both laughed. And, when Paige did the same for Mitch, he heard his cousin groan.

“Ten bucks,” Josh said in a gloating tone as the crowd applauded the happy, frosting-free couple.

When Ryan caught Lauren watching him over the rim of her glass, he forced himself to give her a polite smile and turn away. Maybe he could help Fran serve the cake or something. Anything to keep himself distracted.

He’d told her he’d save her a dance, though. Because of that short-circuiting effect she had on his brain, he hadn’t been able to think on his feet fast enough to come up with a good excuse not to.

Just thinking about holding her made his body ache, and he knew his only hope was that she was so tipsy she’d neither notice nor care if he didn’t dance with her. Or, if he couldn’t avoid it, at best he wouldn’t make a fool of himself. But he was about out of self-control when it came to Lauren.

Chapter Ten

The cake had been cut and the bouquet had been tossed—which Liz caught, much to her apparent horror if the look on her face was any indication. She’d tried to sit it out, but Rosie had been quick to point out that she wasn’t married and was therefore technically eligible to take part in the tradition.

Lauren was relieved she’d escaped the curse of the bouquet and now she was about to give up on dancing with Ryan and head home. She was starting to get the feeling he was avoiding her for some reason, and she could take a hint.

He should have just told her he was busy or tired or come up with some other excuse if he didn’t want to dance with her. It would have been less awkward then dodging her, and she would already be on her way home.

She wasn’t quite sure how she was going to get there, though. They’d come in Hailey’s car, but Hailey had enjoyed the champagne almost as much as she had. Neither of them would be driving.

“They’re getting ready to leave,” Hailey said, dragging Lauren toward the front yard. It wasn’t easy to keep up with her in the grass, wearing heels, but she managed not to fall down.

Mitch and Paige were on the front porch of the lodge, posing for a few last pictures, and Lauren had to stifle a laugh when she saw Paige’s car. She’d never seen that many ribbons and cans tied to a vehicle before, and there was a huge sign in the back window that said Make Way for the Weddingmobile of Doom! Just married!

“How legal is that car right now?” she asked Drew, whom she’d ended up next to, and who looked more relaxed than he’d been since Mallory left him.

“Not very. The backseat being full of balloons is definitely a problem.”

She got a little sniffly when Mitch hugged Rose and his aunt before leading his new bride through a veritable gauntlet of Kowalskis to the car. He honked the horn all the way down the driveway until they were out of sight. Then the guests all drifted around to the backyard again.

Lauren set her empty glass on the table and waved Fran off when she held up yet another bottle. “I’ve had enough.”

When she saw Ryan walking toward her, her breath seemed to catch in her chest. Maybe she shouldn’t dance with him. She didn’t think she was drunk, but she definitely wasn’t sober and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool out of herself in front of these people.

“I’m told you rode over with Hailey,” he said.

Was he going to offer to bring her home? Or maybe tell her she should stay at the lodge? With him? “Yeah.”

“She won’t be driving anywhere tonight, so I’ll be driving you both home. Just let me know when you’re ready to go.”

“Oh.” That was a bit of a letdown. “Okay.”

“Wait,” Hailey said, mysteriously appearing next to her. “You guys haven’t danced yet.”

She’d never wanted to stuff a sock in Hailey’s mouth more than she did at that moment. “It doesn’t matter.”

“She’s right. I said I’d save you a dance.” He smiled and held out his hand, but Lauren noticed the smile didn’t quite light up his eyes.

His fingers closed around hers, warm and strong, and he led her to where a few people were still dancing. The song was slow and romantic, and she sighed when he rested the hand not holding hers on her hip.

Then, they simply danced. There was no sliding of his hands across the fabric of her dress. No pulling her close. No resting her head against his chest to hear if his heart was beating as fast as hers.

Instead, he held himself so straight he was almost rigid, carefully leaving space between their bodies. His mouth was set in a straight line and he seemed content to blankly stare over the top of her head.

Okay, so she’d misread his earlier signals. Just one more thing to blame on the champagne. Rather than suffer in excruciating silence, she tried for polite small talk. “Where are Mitch and Paige going for their honeymoon?”

“They wouldn’t tell us.” His voice was as tense as his body.

“She wouldn’t tell us, either.” She paused, but he didn’t say anything else. “Probably smart. Nobody likes pranks on their wedding night.”

“Nope.”

She gave up. The song seemed to go on forever, which would have been a good thing if Ryan wasn’t holding her as if she was Typhoid Mary.

When it finally ended, he dropped his hands and took a step back. “Just let me know when you and Hailey are ready to go.”

She was done. “Anytime you are.”

“Let me round up a couple more people and then we’ll go.”

She nodded and walked back to Hailey, who was frowning, a little of the glow gone from the evening.

“That was painful to watch,” Hailey said.

“We danced. That’s what you wanted and now we’re going home.”

“Yeah, about that. Fran took my car key away like hours ago.”

“Because Drew and Ryan are driving people home. And, lucky me, Ryan will be our chauffeur this evening.”

“I’m going to flash the world climbing into that truck.” Hailey looked down at her short red dress as though trying to figure out what to do about it.

It turned out she didn’t need to worry about it because, obviously foreseeing that particular risk, Ryan was using Rose’s car to play taxi service. Lauren scooted into the middle of the backseat and Hailey slid in beside her. Carl, who cooked for Paige at the diner, got in the front seat after helping his wife in on Lauren’s other side.

During the drive to Carl’s house, Lauren swore Ryan’s eyes must have met hers in the rearview mirror a million times, and it was starting to piss her off. The guy couldn’t
not
look at her, but when he had the opportunity to touch her, he turned into a walking, barely talking plank of wood.

She narrowed her eyes at his reflection and saw him lift an eyebrow at her. Then she folded her arms and stared at the back of Carl’s head.

Once the cook and his wife were safely deposited at home, Lauren slid to the seat by the door, which made it easier to avoid looking in the mirror. She hoped she was next on his delivery schedule, but he turned toward Hailey’s house and she sighed. Logically, she knew it made sense since Hailey’s house was on the way to Lauren’s, but she didn’t really want to be in the car alone with Ryan.

When he pulled up in front of Hailey’s, he put the car in park and walked around to open her door.

“Call me tomorrow,” she hissed before climbing out of the backseat.

No, thanks. She didn’t particularly care to relive tonight. “’Night, Hailey.”

Ryan leaned down to speak to her. “You want to move to the front seat?”

“I’m fine right here, thanks.”

He closed the door and, after Hailey was safely inside her house, he got back in the car and put it in gear. For a minute he looked as if he was going to say something, but then he hit the gas and drove in silence.

* * *

Normally when he drove a woman home, especially if she’d been drinking, he’d get out of his vehicle and walk her to the door, as he had with Hailey. But Ryan was afraid if he got that close to Lauren again tonight, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of her, so he kept them on the steering wheel while she got out of the backseat.

After she closed the door, she walked around the front of the car, which made the headlights spotlight how freaking amazing her body looked in that dress. When she walked to the passenger door, he rolled down the window and she leaned in. If he was a gentleman, he wouldn’t look at the lace bra-edging the position gave him tantalizing glimpses of.

“Thank you for the ride. And for the dance.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I enjoyed it.”

“Really?” She tilted her head, scowling. “You didn’t seem very happy about it. Before the wedding, I kept thinking about what it would be like to dance with you, and it was a lot different in my imagination.”

Don’t ask, he told himself. She wasn’t sober. What he should do was shrug, wait for her to go in the house and then drive away. “How did we dance in your imagination?”

“Really slow.” Her voice was soft and a little husky. “And really close. Our bodies were touching and then you put your hand on my back and held me even tighter so my breasts were pressed against your chest.”

Every rational and responsible thought in Ryan’s head scrambled as her words formed an image in his mind. “And that’s how you wanted me to dance with you?”

“Yes, but I guess
you
didn’t want to dance with
me
like that.”

He didn’t even turn off the ignition or close the door behind him. Before his brain started firing on all cylinders, he walked around the back of the car. “I’m not very good with words, so I’ll just show you how I wanted to dance with you.”

She made a breathless sound that wasn’t quite an
oh
when he pulled her into his arms. Holding her like that, with her body against his, was even better than he’d dreamed it could be.

“I didn’t look happy, because it was killing me to have my hands on you and not be able to touch you the way I wanted to because my whole freaking family was watching. And not only would my aunt and Rose be scandalized, but if you shot me down, I’d never hear the end of it.”

She hadn’t thought about it like that. “How did you want to touch me?”

“Like this.” He cupped her ass with one hand, pulling her against him, while sliding his other hand up her rib cage. “And I didn’t hold you close because my dick was so hard it ached and I didn’t want you to feel it.”

“I can feel it now.” He held his breath as her mouth moved toward his, almost close enough to kiss. “But you know what I
really
want to feel?”

She was going to feel his balls explode if she didn’t stop grinding her hips against his. “What do you want to feel?”

“I want to feel like you think I’m the sexiest woman in the world.”

“Honey, I do think that.”

“Show me.”

Ryan dug deep and came up with a tattered shred of self-control. “You’ve been drinking and there’s a good chance you’ll hate me in the morning.”

“I’m not sober, but I’m not drunk, either.” He must have looked unconvinced, because she laughed. “Want me to do a sobriety test? Bend over and touch my toes?”

“Honey, you bending over in that dress is the last thing I need. Say the alphabet backward or something.”

“
Z. X?
Can even sober people do that?”

“I don’t care.” He gave in to the temptation and cupped her breast, feeling her nipple harden under his thumb as he stroked it through the silky dress. “All I care about is you not regretting this in the morning.”

She kissed him, standing up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck. Their breath mingled as she teased him, flicking her tongue over his bottom lip and chuckling when his entire body shuddered.

With a growl, he plunged a hand into her hair and held her head as he took control of the kiss. Her mouth was hot and sweet and he took his time tasting her. He could feel the urgent hunger in her body and the bite of her fingernails in his scalp, but he didn’t care. He’d waited a long damn time to kiss this woman and he kept on kissing her until she moaned against his mouth in surrender.

“I want you,” he whispered.

“Then turn off the car and come inside.”

He wasn’t sure he could walk that far. Not that it mattered. He’d crawl on his hands and knees to get to her if he had to.

She walked toward the house, being a smart-ass with her arms held out straight and placing each foot directly in front of the other. When she got to the steps, she turned and laughed.

With her eyes sparkling and her skin flushed from his kiss, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Then she stopped laughing, her gaze locked with his. “The way you’re looking at me right now makes me feel sexy. But if you’re going to stand there all night, I’m going to start without you.”

That got him moving. He shut off the car and used the walk between it and the front door to move a condom from his wallet to his front pocket. He only had one, so he had to make it count.

When he walked through her door, he found her in the living room. She’d slipped off the dress and stood there in nothing but two scraps of ivory lace.

She was, no question, the sexiest woman in the whole world and, by the time he was done with her, she was going to know without a doubt that he thought so.

* * *

The insecurities that had started creeping in as she stripped off the dress—she’d gained a little weight and there were a few stretch marks and, ohmigod, she wasn’t twenty anymore—evaporated the second Ryan stepped into the room and stopped moving.

The overpriced bra-and-panty set were worth every single penny as his gaze swept over her almost naked body. She knew every flaw was on display, but there was no cooling off in his look when he turned those sizzling blue eyes back to her face.

His naughty grin twisted her up inside. “I’d hate to disappoint you, like I did with the dancing, so maybe you should tell me if you’ve been thinking about this, too.”

“I’ve thought about this a lot.”

He started slowly toward her, unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. “When did you start thinking about it?”

“A long time ago. Years,” she confessed, feeling the heat of the blush across her exposed chest. “If I was stressed or wired or, for whatever reason, just couldn’t get my mind to shut off so I could go to sleep, I’d...you know...fantasize. About you. Us.”

“Thinking about having sex with me puts you to sleep?”

She would have laughed if he hadn’t looked honestly perplexed, and maybe a little wounded. “No, thinking about having sex with you distracted me from all the crap in my life, because it was intense and amazing and so perfect I could fall asleep to very,
very
happy thoughts.”

“So what you’re saying is you’ve built us up for so long in your head, I can’t possibly live up to your expectations.”

This time she did laugh. “You’ll just have to try a little harder.”

He yanked the shirt out of his waistband to undo the last couple of buttons, and she itched to slide her hands across the expanse of his chest.

Instead, he gently nudged her backward across the room until her back was against the wall, and she sucked in a sharp breath when he raised her arms above her head and pinned her wrists there with one hand.