All He Ever Desired (11 page)

“You are so...freaking...beautiful,” he said, punctuating his words with playful nips at her neck.

Then he hooked the index finger of his free hand in one lacy cup of her bra and yanked it down, exposing her nipple. She moaned when his mouth closed over it, the gentle sucking seeming to pull at her very core, and she arched her back. He used his teeth to pull back the lace and expose her other breast, and then grazed them over the sensitive flesh.

“I was like a walking erection at that wedding. Every time I’d start to cool off, I’d see you again in that dress and get hard all over again.”

He licked and sucked, all the while holding her hands over her head so she couldn’t touch him.

“If I’d known you were wearing this underneath,” he said, his breath warming the nipple moistened by his mouth, “I would have had to sneak up to my room and jerk off so I wouldn’t explode.”

She pulled against the hand holding her wrists, wanting to touch him, but he held her tighter and increased the pressure on her nipple until she whimpered. “I want to touch you.”

“I’m not done touching you yet.” He slid his hand down her stomach, his fingertips sliding under the lace edging of her panties.

She wanted to argue with him, but his mouth covered hers, stealing her breath along with the words. Pinned between the length of his body and the wall, all she could do was surrender to feeling. Feeling his hot breath on her mouth. Feeling the brush of his chest across her nipples. Feeling his fingers—so strong and work-hardened and different from her own touch—sliding under lace.

Her hips bucked against his hand when he hit the sweet spot and she whimpered, but he held her fast.

“If I’d known you were this hot from thinking about me fucking you,” he said in a low, hoarse voice that was barely more than a whisper, “I’d have skipped the damn cake cutting and taken you in the barn.”

“A woman should never have to choose between sex and cake.”

He drew back his head so he could see her eyes as he slipped one finger inside her. “Which would you choose?”

She hesitated, savoring the friction while he waited for her answer. “It was pretty good cake.”

“Really?” The hand holding her wrists tightened and he worked another finger inside her. She sucked in a breath, grinding against his hand. “Did it make you this wet? Did that cake taste so good it made you come, Lauren, because I’m going to.”

And he did, stroking her and kissing her until her hips bucked against his hand and she strained against his hold. He held her, relentless in his touch, until she sagged—flushed and breathless—against the wall.

“So fucking pretty.” He nipped at her jaw, then released her wrists.

She couldn’t touch him enough. His shirt was already unbuttoned and she shoved it down off his shoulders so she could run her hands over his chest and his arms while he slipped his hands out and tossed it away. His back muscles rippled under her fingertips and she smiled as she licked his throat, making him growl.

Lauren wanted more. She wanted Ryan naked and in her bed. Stepping out from between him and the wall, she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. His gaze was hot and hungry as he kicked off his shoes and reached down to pull off his socks, and she started down the hall as she pulled down the waist of her panties. Halfway to her door, she paused and kicked them off.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw Ryan was right behind her, and he stopped to lose the pants and boxer briefs at the same time. The man put her imagination to shame, and it was a good thing her bed was only a few more feet away or she might have taken him down right there in the hallway.

She hadn’t made her bed that morning, but he didn’t seem to care. After tossing a condom packet onto her nightstand, he shoved the lump of covers back and lowered her onto the mattress.

Lauren relished the weight of his body as he settled on top of her and a little off to the side, so his knee rested between her thighs. He smiled, seemingly content to stare down at her face for a minute.

She smiled back. “Has anybody ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?”

Then she felt stupid because women probably told him that all the time, and that wasn’t something she wanted to think about at the moment.

“If they’re beautiful, it’s only because you’re seeing yourself reflected in them.”

There were a few seconds of silence, and then she laughed. It was so corny, she couldn’t help herself.

He scowled. “You’re not the first woman to mention my eyes, but I’m pretty damn sure you’re the first one who’s ever laughed at me in bed.”

“Oh, come on. That was cheesy and you know it.” She tried to take her amusement down a notch, though. “You don’t have to try so hard, you know. I’m already naked.”

“I noticed. I like that about you.” He brushed his thumb over her nipple while lifting his knee so it pressed between her legs. “And I seem to remember telling you I’m better at showing than telling.”

When he lowered his head and sucked hard on the nipple he’d been gently rubbing, Lauren gasped. Her body arched, increasing the pressure against his knee, and she clutched his shoulders. He pushed at her ankle with his foot, parting her legs, and slid a hand between her body and his knee. It was too much and she tried to pull her thighs together, but his leg wouldn’t budge.

“I’m not finished touching you yet.”

This time he wasn’t holding her hands captive, so she touched him back. She trailed her fingertips down his back, then felt his abs tighten as she slid her left hand under the arm pinning her down so she could close her fingers around the hard length of him.

He sucked in a breath and muttered a stream of curses she took as a compliment. As he slid his finger inside her, she stroked him from base to tip and felt the low growl from his throat against her skin.

“You should stop doing that,” he said.

She threw his own words back at him. “I’m not finished touching you yet.”

He plunged his finger inside her, then rubbed her clit with his thumb until she was panting. “Come for me again and then you can touch me as much as you want while I’m inside of you.”

“No, I want to—” He was bossy and again she wanted to argue, but he nudged her legs further open and, before she could get any more words out, his tongue took over for his thumb and the words choked off.

Her fingers curled in the sheets. She tried to say his name, but it came out a whimper as he twisted his fingers, stretching her with his knuckles. All the while he licked and sucked at the sensitive flesh until her hands clenched into fists and all she could do was ride it out.

When she went limp, breathless once again, he knelt between her legs, a smug grin on his face. “Told you I’d make you come again.”

“Show-off.” She grabbed the condom wrapper off the nightstand and threw it at him.

“Told you I was better at showing,” he said, catching it before it bounced off his chest and tearing it open to roll the condom on. “Of course, if you’d rather stop and go have cake or something...”

She hooked her ankle behind his ass and pulled so he fell forward onto his hands. With them braced on either side of her head, he kissed her long and hard.

“So no cake,” he asked when he came up for air, leaning onto an elbow so he could run his other hand up her thigh.

“If I have to choose between you and cake, I’ll choose you.”

He kissed her again and she sighed against his mouth as he reached between their bodies and guided himself into her. As his tongue teased hers, he moved his hips so with each slow, steady stroke, he pushed further into her. Digging her fingernails into his back, she urged him deeper.

“You feel so good,” he said against her ear. “I don’t know if I’m going to last long enough to live up to those expectations.”

She smiled and turned her face to nip his earlobe. “You’re way better than the imaginary you was.”

He reached down and tucked his hand behind her knee, pulling her leg up. The change in angle allowed him to thrust deeper and she moaned when he filled her completely. “Now, when you close your eyes at night, you can think of the real me.”

His pace quickened and she rocked her hips, meeting him stroke for stroke. He let go of her knee and took her hand. He pressed it flat, palm to palm, on the bed beside her head and then curled his fingers around hers, interlocking their hands. Harder and deeper he took her until her entire world became the exquisite sensation of Ryan inside her.

The orgasm rocked her and she squeezed his hand, aware of his breath coming in ragged, hot bursts against her skin and the uneven thrusts as he found his own release. He collapsed on top of her and she wrapped her arms and legs around him to hold him close as the aftershocks rippled through his body.

After several minutes, he shifted and she sighed as he pulled out and away from her. When he didn’t stumble or swear getting to the bathroom and back, she realized half the lights in the house were still on. And she didn’t care.

He climbed back into bed and stretched out beside her with a groan. “That was way better than cake.”

“That was even better than a triple-layer fudge cake.” She pulled the covers up, trying to straighten them.

He hauled her against his chest and flicked the blankets over them both with a snap. “Honey, that was better than nachos and a beer at the ballpark watching the Sox spanking the Yankees in the ninth.”

His arms tightened around her and she melted against his chest, closing her eyes. And, as she drifted off to sleep, she was certain of one thing. Her fantasies would never be the same again.

Chapter Eleven

“Ma!”

Lauren groaned, keeping her eyes squeezed shut against the light. She wanted to yell at him again to stop bellowing, but her head hurt too much to yell. Instead she nestled further under her covers. As she nestled, an arm curled around her, hauling her back against a warm, hard and very naked body.

Ryan Kowalski was in her bed. And Nick was home a day early. “Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.”

“Ma?”

And her bedroom door was open. Oh, and there were clothes strewn down the hallway. “Oh crap.”

“I’m not hiding in the closet,” the warm lump next to her mumbled.

“I’m coming,” she yelled, hoping to halt his search for her, but it was too late.

Her son saw her, clutching the covers to her chin, saw Ryan and then turned and walked back toward the living room. She started to call after him, but what was she going to do? Have a conversation with him while she hid behind the blanket?

She managed to snag her bathrobe off the foot post and pull it on so she could at least close the door. Then, rather than face her son and possibly her ex-husband that way, she pulled on a pair of underwear and her jeans under the robe and then, keeping her back to the bed, pulled on a bra and a sweatshirt.

“I thought he wasn’t coming home until tomorrow.”

She turned to find Ryan sitting up, looking utterly delicious with his hair tousled and the blankets around his waist. “He wasn’t supposed to. Something must be wrong.”

After taking a few awkward seconds to gather their clothes from the hallway, which she tossed into the bedroom before closing the door, Lauren went out into the living room to find Dean and Nick sitting stone-faced, one on each end of the couch.

“Nick didn’t feel good, so I brought him home,” Dean said in a grim voice. “Surprise.”

Her embarrassment at being caught in bed with a man was instantly squashed by concern. “What’s the matter? Is it your stomach? Headache? Fever?”

He lifted one shoulder in a half-ass shrug. “Just don’t feel good.”

She reached out to feel his forehead, but he flinched away from her. Great. They’d already had to have the
sometimes even single mothers get to have a life now and then
talk once. Looked like they were going to have it again.

Her bedroom door opening and then the bathroom door closing sounded unnaturally loud. She’d been hoping maybe Ryan would go back to sleep, or at least stay in bed until Dean was gone.

And, speaking of her ex-husband, she didn’t miss the look he gave her, though she refrained from either returning the look or flipping him the bird, since their son was in the room. But he’d been married to Jody for almost six years, had two kids with her and was disgustingly happy. What was it to him if his ex-wife had a man in her bed?

It was something to him, judging by the waves of attitude rolling off him. Maybe it wasn’t just the man that was the problem. Maybe it was the fact it was Ryan. But, again, not his business. Dean needed to go home to his wife and other kids.

“Thanks for bringing him home,” she said, trying to make it an obvious dismissal. “I’ll let you know if it turns into anything serious.”

He either didn’t take the hint or chose to ignore it.

“I’m going to my room.” Without looking at either of them, Nick went to his room and slammed his door. Not a good sign, since that was one rule he almost never broke.

“You think this sets a good example for our son?” Dean asked.

She couldn’t believe he’d said it. The anger was instant, burning the back of her throat like acid indigestion. And there was no way she was going to stand there and take it.

“Since the first time I met Jody, she was coming down that very same hallway, pulling her clothes on while you tried to tell me it wasn’t what I thought, while our son stood there and watched—you can kiss my ass.” She pointed to the door. “You can also get the hell out of my house.”

He was instantly contrite, as was his way. “Lauren, look—”

“Get out of my house. Now.”

“I’ll call you when you’ve calmed down and we can talk about this,” he said on his way to the door.

“You and I are not talking about this. Ever. It’s none of your business.”

He paused for a second at the threshold and gave her a wry smile. “I guess he got what he wanted. Kowalskis always do.”

He was gone before she could come up with a response, not that one was really necessary. But she was still standing there, staring at the closed door, when Ryan walked up beside her.

“I should probably go.”

She nodded. “Sorry about this. I guess this is a little messier than you’re used to.”

He cupped the back of her neck in his hand and she closed her eyes. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah. Nick will calm down and I don’t really give a damn what Dean has to say.”

“I hate leaving while you’re upset. Especially since it’s my fault.”

She tilted her head to look up into his face. “It’s not your fault. It’s just...my life.”

He kissed her, still cradling her neck. “Call me when things calm down, okay?”

“I’ll try.” The look on her son’s face flashed across her mind. “I have to make sure Nick’s okay, you know?”

“I’ll wait.” He kissed her again, then he left and it was time to deal with her son.

Nick was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling when she knocked and walked in. He looked a lot more angry than sick, and she braced herself before sitting on the edge of the bed. No doubt this was going to be awkward and painful for both of them.

“How are you feeling?” When he didn’t respond right away, she forced herself to be patient. “Your dad said you were sick.”

“Yeah, sick of being there.”

Lauren sighed. “So you ruined your dad’s vacation and cut it half a day short because you were bored? He said you were all having a great time.”

“No, he and Jody were having a great time. I only got to go riding one time and we had the kids so it was all like ten miles an hour. Dad said he’d take me out again, but he didn’t. They just left me with the kids so they could go riding alone. Last night they were so late I was worried about them and I had to feed the kids and put them to bed and Adrienne wouldn’t stop crying. Then, this morning, after she made breakfast, he said they were going for a ride again, and I said I felt sick. It just sorta popped out of my mouth.”

“Do they ask you to watch Alex and Adrienne a lot?”

“Just like all the time. And they don’t really ask. They just tell me they’re going out and leave.”

“I can talk to your dad about it, if you want.” As soon as she could talk to her ex without destroying the years of goodwill she’d established for Nick’s sake, despite having every reason to hate his stepmother. “But I think you should be the one to do it.”

“Whatever.”

“You’re sixteen. You should be able to have a discussion with your dad without me being in between.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I’ll try.”

“So you’re not really sick, so on to the next thing.” She picked at the hem of her sweatshirt, wishing she knew what to say.

“We’ve had this talk before, Mom. You’re an adult, he’s an adult, blah blah blah. Whatever.”

“Someday—”

“Yeah, someday I’ll understand. I remember that part of the speech.”

“Watch your tone,” she snapped.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “So, is this what you do on the weekends?”

His tone was okay, but she didn’t care for the question. “That’s none of your business. But, no, I very rarely...have a man over.”

Nick kept staring at the ceiling, but he was bobbing his foot, tapping his toes against the air. “So he’s, like, special, then?”

That was a loaded question if she’d ever heard one, and she had no idea how to answer it. She didn’t want her son thinking she was having indiscriminate, champagne-fueled sex, but she also didn’t want him thinking there was something special between her and Ryan.
She
didn’t even know what was between her and Ryan and she’d lost the opportunity to get a feel for it this morning when their time together came to such an abrupt end.

“We’re not running off to Vegas, if that’s what you mean,” she said, trying for lighthearted. He didn’t look amused. “Honestly, I don’t know if he’s special yet.”

“Let me know when you figure it out,” he said, and then he rolled onto his stomach and turned his face away from her.

She took that as her cue he’d had all the talk about mom’s sex life he could stand, and she left him to brood in peace. If she’d known spending a night with Ryan would lead to so much drama, she might have passed.

Then she stretched, feeling that delicious soreness in neglected muscles, and smiled. Spending the night with Ryan had been worth the drama and she’d do it again. But after being rudely awakened by her son and ex-husband, she wasn’t sure Ryan felt the same.

Eventually she’d work up the courage to call him and find out.

* * *

Ryan sat in Rose’s car at the end of what looked like a veritable parking lot. Even subtracting the cars and trucks that belonged to family staying at the lodge, he’d be lucky if he got everybody’s vehicles back to their rightful owners before the game started.

Assuming he ever got out of the car.

There was no way in hell he could get through that house without being seen. There would be Kowalskis in the front room and Kowalskis in the hallway and Kowalskis in the dining room. And Rosie and Aunt Mary would be in the kitchen, so sneaking in the back door was out.

The knock on his window made him jump and Josh grinned as Ryan hit the button to lower it. “Your absence has already been noted.”

“I’ll tell them I got up early and went out for...something.”

“In the same clothes you wore last night?”

Good point. He looked at the flannel shirt his brother was wearing over a T-shirt. Flannel wasn’t usually his style, but he was desperate. “Give me your shirt.”

“Hell no.”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks for it.”

“Give me your truck.”

“Kiss my ass.”

Josh shrugged. “Then put on your dancing shoes because you’re about to face the music.”

“Some brother you are.”

“Because you
are
my brother, I’ll give you the heads-up on the betting pool.”

Ryan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “What betting pool?”

“Whether you went home with Hailey or Lauren.”

“Hailey? They think I spent the night with Hailey Genest?”

“You have to admit, she’s smokin’ hot and she doesn’t have a kid.”

“She’s got nothing on Lauren.”

“That’s money in my pocket. I knew it was Lauren. So did Liz and Rosie.”

“Rosie bet on who I spent the night with?”

“Hell, Rosie and Aunt Mary have a side bet going.” Josh slapped the side of the car. “We won’t be having Aunt Mary’s lasagna for supper now, by the way. It’ll be Rosie’s shepherd’s pie.”

“I’m not going in there.”

“Chickenshit.”

Worst morning-after ever. Ryan dropped his forehead onto the steering wheel, resisting the urge to do it again and again. All he’d wanted to do was wake up with Lauren in his arms. Maybe take a long, lazy shower together. Have some breakfast. Instead, he got a moody teenager, a pissed ex-husband, a baby brother who thought he was funny and his entire family waiting to watch his walk of shame. Plus, Aunt Mary made a killer lasagna and they wouldn’t be getting any.

Screw it. He couldn’t sit in the car all day. With Josh laughing at him, he walked in through the front door and looked around. Most of the family looked back and it was only a minute before Rose and Aunt Mary popped in from the kitchen.

“I hear we’re having shepherd’s pie for dinner,” he said, and then he walked up the stairs to take a shower, ignoring the outburst of whispers below. At least he knew that while his family would give him crap about this at every possible opportunity, it wouldn’t go any further than that. What happened in the family, stayed in the family. Usually.

Once he was safely behind the locked bathroom door, he turned the shower on as hot as he could stand it and prayed the rest of the family had left enough in the ancient tank to rinse off the soap lather.

Letting the hot water pound his muscles, Ryan leaned his head against the shower wall and closed his eyes. Despite the decidedly shitty morning-after, he wouldn’t change anything about his night with Lauren. It had blown every fantasy he’d ever had right out of the water.

Well, he’d change their first dance because it bugged him he’d let her think he didn’t want her. If he could, he’d go back and dance with her the way he’d wanted to, and screw what anybody else thought.

All he could do now was hope she called him. Not that he wouldn’t reach out if too much time went by, but he really wanted her to call him, because her morning-after had been messier than his and he needed to give her time to straighten it out.

By the time he went back downstairs, the family had gotten over their fascination with his sex life. Either that, or the presence of the kids kept them from butting into his business some more. Whichever it was, at least they were done talking about it for the moment.

“Who’s going to help me get those cars back to where they belong before the game starts?” he asked after he’d downed a couple cups of coffee.

“Everybody seemed to show up while you were in the shower,” Rose told him. “Most folks have two vehicles, so they drove over and picked them up. A few called and they’re going to come by later. I think the only person who doesn’t have a ride over is Hailey Genest, so I told her you’d drop it off in a little bit.”

“I’ll follow you over,” Josh said.

He was still annoyed with his youngest brother, but it made sense. If they got separated, his cousins didn’t know the way to Hailey’s house. Sean
might
remember, but he was keeping the kids occupied with a thumb-wrestling tournament, so Terry and Lisa wouldn’t thank Ryan for breaking that up.

Rose must have called Hailey when they left, because she was sitting on her porch when he drove into her driveway. She met him halfway while Josh let Ryan’s truck idle at the curb, and he dropped her key into her hand.