All He Ever Desired (19 page)

“I’d like to think I’m worth it.” He stopped and shook his head. “No, I
know
I’m worth it. I love you, Lauren Carpenter. I want you to marry me. I love you like no other man ever has or ever will and I promise you I’m worth the headache.”

“I’m scared.” It seemed like there were a million words in her head needing to be said, but those were the only two that came out.

“So am I. We’ve both tried this before and failed and this time...Don’t think I underestimate the impact our relationship has on Nick.”

“He’s not the only thing, Ryan.”

“Let’s hear the buts. I won’t tell you to roll with it. I won’t make jokes or try to charm my way out of answering.”

“One thing I can’t compromise on is kids. I really don’t want any more. It’s not something I’ll change my mind about.”

“Can we sit down? It feels weird and...I don’t know, confrontational, standing here like this.”

She nodded and sat on the couch. He sat on the couch, too, but further down, and she appreciated the space he left between them. She needed it.

“I’ve thought about kids since that day at my house,” he said with a quiet sincerity she’d never seen in him before. “I’ve thought about them a lot, actually. Did I always assume I’d have some? Yeah. Did I want some? Maybe. Do I
need
them? No. I need you. It’s that simple.”

“I’m afraid someday you’ll miss having them, though.”

“They may not be mine by birth, but I’m not going to suffer a shortage of kids,” he said, chuckling a little. “Mike and Lisa will let me borrow theirs in a heartbeat. Emma’s pregnant. I’m going to take a wild guess and say Paige will be soon. And before we know it, Nick will get married and give us grandchildren.”

Lauren groaned.

“That’s a ways down the road,” he said quickly. “But the point is, I’ll have children in my life. Judging by the way the Kowalski family procreates, probably a lot of them. And we’ll love them and play with them and then give them back to their parents so we can go home and have crazy sex with no fear of interruption.”

She wanted to believe he meant it. Looking in his eyes, she could see
he
believed it. Tears burned her eyes and she blinked, afraid if they started falling, she wouldn’t stop crying for days.

“I want you, Lauren.” He reached across the space between them and took her hand. “And I want Nick. I know he’s Dean’s, but there’s room for me, too. I’ve come to love that kid and I don’t want to miss out on his life.”

That started the waterworks flowing. “He loves you, too.”

“But most importantly, I love
you
.” He used his knuckle to brush away her tears. “I don’t want to be your
you know, whatever
anymore. I want to be your husband.”

With a teenager’s impeccable knack for timing, Nick walked through the front door, startling them both. She hadn’t even heard Dean’s car pull up out front. He looked at them, sitting on the couch, with Ryan holding her hand while she’d obviously been crying. “What’s going on?”

Lauren wasn’t quite sure what to say, but Ryan cleared his throat and beat her to it. “I’m trying to convince your mother to marry me.”

He frowned, his gaze bouncing back and forth between them. “Why?”

“Because I love her and want her to be my wife.”

“Yeah, I get that part. I mean, why do you have to convince her?” He looked at Lauren. “Did you say no?”

“I haven’t really answered him yet.”

“Oh. Well, I think it would be cool.”

“So do I,” Ryan said. “Very cool.”

Two against one wasn’t fair. “Nick, you do realize Ryan doesn’t
live
at the Northern Star, right? He has a home and a business in Massachusetts.”

“So...” Nick sighed and dropped into the chair. “You wouldn’t move to Maine?”

Ryan shook his head. “I can’t do that. My business is pretty big. I have a lot of contracts and I employ a lot of people. I can’t walk away from that to try to make a living being a third wheel at an inn that’s barely supporting itself as it is.”

“If I marry Ryan, it means you and I would move to Brookline,” she said, deciding it was best to spell it out.

He frowned. “I’ve never moved before. Or gone to a new school.”

“We understand that,” Ryan said. “You’d spend every other weekend here with your dad, and some holidays and school vacations. And you could spend summers wherever. Maybe you could stay with your dad and work at the lodge and visit us whenever you want. Especially since you’ll be driving.”

“What if I hate it?”

“As long as you’ve given it a fair shot,” Ryan said, “then we’ll talk about it and figure it out. But you’re going to college in two years, so learning to adapt to change now wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

“If it really, really sucked, I could move back and live with Dad.”

“Yeah, you could,” Ryan said. “Though I’d like to think living with me wouldn’t really, really suck.”

Nick blushed, giving a nervous laugh. “That’s not really what I meant. Just that... Mom, like he said, I’m going to college in two years. I have my dad so I can visit him and Whitford when I want and if I really hate it in Brookline, I can stay with Dad and Jody. You can’t make a decision for the whole rest of your life based on, like, less than two years of mine. I’m a kid. I’m resilient.”

Lauren made a hiccupping sound, trying really hard not to bawl, and she groped at the coffee table for the tissue box.

“Wow,” Ryan said. “That’s really wise and insightful for your age.”

Nick flashed him a grin. “I think I heard it on TV. Maybe one of those Lifetime or Hallmark movies Mom watches.”

“And they say watching television doesn’t teach kids anything.” Ryan looked him in the eye. “Nick, would you like to be my stepson and come live in Brookline with me?”

After only a couple of seconds, Nick nodded. “Yeah. That would be cool.”

Ryan turned back to Lauren. “See, that’s how it’s done. I proposed to your son and he said yes.”

“I’ve never moved out of Whitford, either. What if
I
hate Brookline?”

“You sure as hell can’t go live with Dean.”

The laughter that bubbled up surprised her and eased some of the tension that had been threatening to suffocate her.

“I think you’ll both love it there,” he said. “But if you don’t—if we can’t be a strong, happy family there—then we’ll do what we have to do. I don’t want to sell my company and it’s not just about contracts and employees. It’s mine. I built it and I’m damn proud of it. But if it comes down to Kowalski Custom Builders or us, I’ll choose us. I will
always
choose the three of us.”

She liked that. The three of them. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Marry me, Lauren. I had to walk away from you once, but I can’t do it again. I don’t have the strength for that.”

And, this time, she couldn’t watch him go. “I choose us, too. I choose you. It’s that simple.”

He blew out a breath as though he’d been holding it for a lifetime, before leaning in to kiss her. “Thank you. I loved being your
you know, whatever
, but I can’t wait to be your husband.”

“I think we should celebrate with pizza,” Nick contributed to the moment.

“I’ve had chili in the slow cooker all day,” she said. Then she watched her future husband and her son share a look and knew she was doomed.

“Chili’s always better reheated the second day,” Ryan said. “If we get pizza now, you guys can have even better chili for supper tomorrow. And I can take some in a container to heat up, too.”

She laughed, unable to resist that look in his eyes. “Fine. But I want mushrooms on it.”

Ryan leaned in and kissed her again. “For you, and only for you, I’ll pick off the mushrooms.”

* * * * *

“Shannon Stacey’s books are a unique celebration of romance…drop everything and read Shannon Stacey.”

—Sarah Wendell of
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books

For more delicious contemporary romance,
check out the first four titles in Shannon Stacey’s
The Kowalskis series.
Available wherever ebooks are sold!

Exclusively Yours

Undeniably Yours

New York Times
Bestseller—
Yours to Keep

All He Ever Needed

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About the Author

New York Times
and
USA TODAY
bestselling author Shannon Stacey lives with her husband and two sons in New England, where her two favorite activities are writing stories of happily ever after and riding her four-wheeler. From May to November, the Stacey family spends their weekends on their ATVs, making loads of muddy laundry to keep Shannon busy when she’s not at her computer. She prefers writing to laundry, however, and considers herself lucky she got to be an author when she grew up.

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, or email her at
[email protected]
.

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