All I Want for Christmas Is You (4 page)

Damn! Kyle cursed inwardly. He tenderly placed his arm around her shoulder in an attempt at comfort. What he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and hold her until she felt better, but given her earlier response, he thought better of it. Without actually walking in her shoes, he knew how she felt. He'd already been there on another level when he had no one to call his own.

In the warmth of the car, the scent of her drifted to him, invading his senses. It was fresh and clean like a clear day after a snow storm, yet there was something sultry that struck a chord deep within him. He cursed himself silently for the stirrings it caused. Yeah, maybe it had been a while since he'd had a woman in his life, but he wasn't in the habit of seducing a defenseless creature like Lauren. He wasn't about to start now no matter how silky her hair looked. Or how fragrantly the scent of her filled his head. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear exposing high cheekbones framing her eyes and that was the final straw. He pulled himself to a stand to regain his composure.

Lauren dropped her hands from her face and swiped away the tears with one quick motion. "I'm going to wake up Kristen if I don't stop this." She sniffed back a few more tears and reached over to shut the door. "Thank you again."

He caught the door with his hand. "What about the tree lighting ceremony? Will I see you there?" he asked, surprised at feeling a little more hopeful with the idea of seeing Lauren again.

"No."

"Come on. You can't just work for the rest of your life and-"

"I'm married," she blurted out, looking straight into his eyes.

"Oh." He blew out a mist of breath in confusion. His eyes inadvertently glanced at her left hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't see a ring and after what Kristen said..." He let his voice trail off trying to make sense of all the events that transpired over the evening and where he'd gone wrong. Why had Kristen told him she never had a daddy? And if that was true, then why was Lauren telling him she had a husband? It just didn't make sense.

The uncertainty in her eyes hit him like a hammer to a nail and it all made sense. "You're bluffing again, aren't you? You're not really married," he said softly.

She wilted right before his eyes, her shoulders sagging and she let out a slow breath. "No, I'm not. Kristen never knew her father," Lauren offered. She turned her face away and gazed out the windshield, seemingly mesmerized by the windshield wipers pushing the new fallen snow aside. "He's been out of the picture since before she was born. I guess that's why she wants a daddy. She never had one."

"I'm sorry," Kyle said in sympathy. The guy was a louse. But then again, he'd known just that type of louse when he was a kid. The only difference between Kristen and him was that Kristen had never known her father's rejections. Kyle had been old enough to stand in the courtroom and hear his own father denounce him as his son.

He pushed the horrid memory aside. Too many years had passed since that painful moment in his life. Too many good things had come into his life and taken its place. He hadn't always seen things that way, but thank God he'd wised up enough to finally see the light.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not. Kristen and I do just fine by ourselves," Lauren indicated, that same wildcat determination he'd seen earlier coming back to life in her expression.

Kyle figured it was true, but not by way of an easy road. What he wouldn't do to make things just a little bit easier for her.

"I see." Kyle felt a strange distance forced between them. The purr of both car engines seemed to grow with intensity as each second passed. "About tomorrow night, how about it?"

"No, I don't think so. I have to do...something." She tossed her hand in the air, giving it a fleeting second of thought, then added, "I have to wash my hair, do my taxes...something."

"Taxes?" he questioned under his breath, his eyebrows raised.

"Okay, I know it's not the greatest excuse," she admitted, fixing him with a stare, "but it's the best I can do. You seem like a nice person and you've been very kind, but I don't want to get involved with anyone. I'm just not interested in-"

"We're talking hot chocolate and a Twinkie. Maybe a few Christmas songs, if you can keep a tune. Even if you can't, we don't discriminate. We're not talking marriage." He couldn't keep the smile from creeping into his expression.

"Are you trying to tell me you weren't just coming on to me?" she asked, cocking her head to one side. The tears were gone now and a hint of a smile adorned her face.

Kyle found himself with a mixed sense of protectiveness for her vulnerability and attraction because her lips suddenly looked so kissable. He hadn't intended the invitation to be a come on, but giving it a second thought, maybe it was. Put on another track, he decided he wouldn't mind it if she thought he'd made the pass. He'd like it even better if she'd accept.

"Yes," he lied. "I mean, I asked because I thought it might be a fun mother/daughter thing, a way for you to spend some fun time together during the holidays. Everyone has a good time."

She blinked and appeared uncertain, maybe even a little disheartened. "Good," she said, turning her gaze from his face.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" he asked, hoping to get some insight into that flicker of disappointment he saw flash across her face.

She pulled at the car door gently as a hint for him to move aside. "It's cold and I really do have to get Kristen home. Thank you again, Kyle."

"My pleasure."

He watched her drive away, the red tail lights of her late model car blurring into a cloud of falling snow. She's just another woman, he told himself. A beautiful woman with eyes like the full moon and full lips made for stealing a sweet kiss. It had been a long time since he'd thought along those lines. Pulling his fingers through his ice laden hair, he decided it had been way too long.

* * *

Kyle walked through the crowd of chatting locals gathered for the annual tree lighting ceremony, no doubt gossiping about their own neighbors or whoever was up for selectman at the next election. Bringing the town together brought out the good and bad in everyone. Kyle liked to think that it was mostly the best. He groaned inwardly remembering the mischief that came out of him in his youth when everyone was congregated here for the Christmas festivities.

Well, that was then, he mused. It had been a long time since he acted so irresponsibly. Coming of age had a way of bringing you to your senses. Facing a jail sentence had a way of doing it, too. He was lucky it never got to that point, thanks to his parents and some hard lessons learned. He only wished he had been the only one to pay for those lessons learned.

He drew in a frosty breath that chilled his lungs. Deep down he knew that everything he did was somehow connected to Chas and that fateful night. It had been a turning point for both of them. Unfortunately for Chas, Kyle had been the one to get the better end of the deal. If only they'd stayed put twelve years ago, Chas wouldn't have paid for his mistake.

Kyle grabbed a piece of fried dough from the concession stand and spied a St. Bernard leashed to a barrel marked "Non-perishable Food Donation." Immediately he thought of his dog, Max, lounging at home in front of the wood stove. At least, he hoped the dog was still lounging in front of the stove. After the Thanksgiving fiasco, both he and Max would be in the dog house if he wasn't. He didn't feel comfortable taking his dog to such a public affair. But giving it another thought, he wasn't sure leaving all one hundred and fifteen pounds of dog home alone with unprotected upholstery was a better alternative.

He patted the dog on the head and tossed a piece of fried dough, which the dog swallowed with one gulp.

The weather had been kinder tonight, rising a full ten degrees above what it had been hovering at for the last week. The sun had been out all day giving way to a beautiful star filled sky as a backdrop for the lighting of the sixty foot high Norwegian Pine tree in the center of the town common. He walked around. Looking. Searching.

He groaned inwardly. The Lauren Alexander thing was a dead issue. He'd thought about her all day and hoped she would come. He'd been through this crowd at least twice and still hadn't caught a glimpse of her and Kristen when he finally decided to head back to the concession stand for a cup of hot chocolate.

What was wrong with him? So she'd decided not to come, he fumed, jamming his free hand in his jacket pocket. It's not like she said she would. In fact, she flat out said she wouldn't. Still, he'd found himself hoping that she would change her mind.

* * *

Lauren walked the slippery sidewalk clutching Kristen's small mittened hand in hers. Her apartment was only a few short blocks from the town common.

Although the day had been warm and sunny, the temperature had dipped just below freezing after sunset creating a slick sheet of ice on the walkway. "Careful, Krissy," Lauren cautioned when she saw Kristen's feet slipping.

"I'm okay, Mommy," Kristen replied, looking up at her with a wide grin.

Kristen had heard about the tree lighting ceremony from the teacher at school today. When Lauren had picked her up from Mrs. Hopkins apartment, Kristen talked endlessly about going. After the dinner dishes were finally cleared, washed and put away, she continued to express her desire to come and see Santa just one more time. In her heart, Lauren knew the reason. She wanted to ask Santa for a daddy again. In the end she conceded, bundling the two of them up for a cold winters walk.

She really didn't want to go to this damned ceremony, Lauren kept trying to convince herself all day at work. She'd probably run into Kyle here and that was the last thing she needed. Images of Kyle Preston kept creeping back to her during the lull of phone calls that usually occupied her work day. The twinkle of glee in his eye as he stood beneath the lamppost and smiled at her, the well-defined Nordic features of his face haunted her. This was not a good sign, she surmised. Yes, Kyle Preston was the last thing she needed in her life right now.

Why had she told him she was married? She recalled the conversation they'd had the previous evening when he helped her with her car and knew the reason. For the past seven years since Kristen's father left her alone and pregnant, she kept every prospective male suitor at arm’s length. Not that there were many, but her convenient declaration pretty much killed any and all prospective chances for romance.

Being married had been an excuse she used on numerous occasions while she was waitressing and encountered an overzealous, slightly intoxicated patron. Even some of the kitchen help that had asked her out for coffee after her shift were not immune to this excuse.

Yet with its convenience, it was still a lie. And Kyle had seen right through it where other men had simply accepted it as truth. But the truth was she was never married to Kristen's father. Her one and only sexual encounter that resulted in a teenage pregnancy, shattering her hopes and dreams for a promising future, had also shattered her first and only romantic relationship. Once Kristen was born, she kept her mind focused on raising the daughter she'd fought so hard to keep and pushed any notion of romantic entanglement aside. It had been easy for the past seven years. There really hadn't been anyone who'd turned her head and made her think of giving them half a chance. Until now.

"Hold my hand, honey," Lauren advised as they scurried across the busy intersection that led to the town common.

Although they had lived in town for the past six years, this was the first year they were coming out for the big festivities. Lauren had always worked nights as a waitress, choosing to spend her days at home with Kristen when she was a preschooler. Now that she had arrived and saw all the Christmas decorations and heard the carolers singing, she was just as excited as Kristen to be here.

"Did we miss Santa?" Kristen asked as she tugged on Lauren's arm, pulling her toward the decorated gazebo where Santa was expected to be seated.

Lauren took a quick look around. The tall pine tree had already been trimmed with a zillion lights waiting to be set ablaze. The long roped area off the front of the gazebo leading down toward the center of the tree lined common was already filled with parents and children waiting in line to tell Santa their Christmas wishes.

"We didn't miss anything, yet," Lauren confirmed. "Look, the tree is still dark. They wouldn't dare light the tree without Santa."

Kristen gave an excited squeal and wrenched at her mother's arm with impatience. "Come on, Mommy."

"Not yet, sweetie. Let me get a hot cup of something to drink first. It looks like they have some fried dough. Want some?" Lauren asked. It was the holiday season. The sugar coated dough was probably not the best thing for Kristen's teeth, but it was Christmastime. It was nothing an extra-long brushing couldn't fix before climbing into bed.