All of You (53 page)

Nathan pressed his fingertips into his eye sockets and squeezed. “Uh-huh…yes…I’ll tell Stella…okay, Gigi…yes…yes…okay, have a good night…yes, I will give Gia a big hug and kiss for you when I see her in the morning…yep…okay, bye.”

Nathan hit that end button in record time. He set the phone down onto this thigh and pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Gigi says she just talked to Kat about a half an hour ago.” He gave his head a quick shake and glanced over to meet Danny’s gaze. “She said Carlo needed some help with his chemistry homework and Kat picked right up.”

Danny huffed, scrolling through the log, even though he knew damn well Kat hadn’t called. “Then why isn’t she answering me?”

“Did you piss her off?”

When Danny shot him a look, Nathan shrugged. “What, like that’s not possible?” His brow quirked. “Or maybe she just needed a break from your incessant calling and sexting. Poor woman is probably dying for some peace and quiet for a damn change.”

Danny pulled up their text log and quickly scrolled through the last conversation. He re-read Kat’s last text at 6:13 p.m. and shook his head. “All she said was traffic was bad, that she was grabbing some food, and that she’d text me later.” Danny stared down at the gray-bubbled words, a weird gnawing sensation eating at his stomach. “I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. What if she’s hurt and can’t get to the phone?”

“If you’re that worried, let’s do a quick drive-by.” Nathan tilted his heard toward the deserted city street. “It’s quiet out here. We’ll swing by your place…you can wake her up – and probably piss her off – see she’s alive, and we can get on with patrolling our beat.”

A second later, Danny’s phone chimed, the sight of Kat’s name on the screen flooding his body with relief. “It’s her.”

Kat:
Sorry it took so long to text again.
I feel asleep on the couch.

Danny shot Nathan a grin. “She fell asleep on the couch.”

Nathan grunted in his told-you-so way.

Danny:
That’s okay. But you did have me worried, Kat. I was about to start calling hospitals.
When she didn’t respond for a full thirty seconds, Danny added:
You feeling any better?

Kat:
Still tired.

Danny:
I’m sorry, sweetheart. Do you need me to do anything or bring anything home after I get off shift?

Kat:
I actually came back to my house for the night.

The weird ache in the pit of Danny’s stomach flared up.

Danny:
Why?
When she didn’t reply, Danny texted:
Are you mad at me about something?

Kat:
Of course not. I just felt like sleeping in my own bed tonight.

Danny tried beating back the increasing uneasiness, but failed miserably.

He texted:
What about the demonstration I was supposed to give you in the morning? You don’t want to make a liar out of me, do you?

Kat:
You don’t work until nine tomorrow, right? We can get together after I get off of work.

A sweat broke out above Danny’s upper lip. His heart raced and every single muscle in his stomach knotted up tight.

Hands embarrassingly unsteady, he texted:
I’ll stop by the apartment after I get off in the morning. I really need to see you, Kat.

Kat:
I have to go in early. I have some equipment being delivered.

“Do you need some privacy?” Nathan asked quietly. Danny glanced up and Nathan turned to face him. “If so, I’ll go give Popeye Joe the blanket while you make the call.”

“Why do you think I need privacy?”

“Because you’re as white as a fucking ghost,” Nathan replied. “And because you’re not grinning like idiot, like you usually do when you’re texting with her.”

When Danny didn’t answer – because he was too twisted up and freaked out to – Nathan slowly nodded. “Yep. Right. I’ll go track down Joe.” He popped the trunk and opened the driver’s side door. “I think I saw him shuffling around outside the parking garage a minute ago…”

Nathan shut his door, grabbed the blanket out of the trunk, and slammed that shut. While Nathan made his way over to find one of their homeless guys (a one-eyed Vietnam Vet named Joe), Danny called Kat.

She answered on the third ring. “Hey.”

Her distant, flat tone of voice did nothing to allay Danny’s fears.

Kat cleared her throat. “Decided you’d rather talk, huh?” she said with some forced cheerfulness that turned his stomach.

“Kat, what the
fuck
is going on?”

She paused. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been calling you since seven o’clock…no answer. I texted…no answer. I finally get a text that says you’re home, but you still don’t answer my calls or my texts. And then, when you do finally text me, you basically tell me to leave you the fuck alone until tomorrow night.”

Danny took a deep breath.

Get a grip.

Don’t overreact any more than you already are.

There must be some logical explanation why she’s freezing you out.

Calm. The Fuck. Down.

Danny exhaled slowly and lowered his voice. “Why aren’t you at
my
house, Kat? In
my
bed? Where you’re supposed to be?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. We haven’t been apart for a second longer than necessary since all this shit started and now, all-of-a-sudden, you feel like ‘sleeping in your own bed?’” Danny paused. “You need to talk to me, Kat. Right fucking now. Before I flip out and drive over there.”

Her silence physically hurt.

“
Kat…
” Danny exhaled a hard breath, head shaking. “Come on, sweetheart…talk to me.” He grabbed the back of his neck and squeezed. “If you tell me, I can fix it for you. I know you like to tackle your own shit and I love you for it, but you’ve got me to lean on, now. So, please, talk to me.” When Kat didn’t respond, Danny said, “Did something happen at work?”

“No. I’m tired. I had a long, busy day and I’m physically and emotionally burned out. I came back to my house because I need a good night’s sleep –
without
interruption or strenuous physical activity.” Kat paused. “You know, I really don’t know why you’re making such a big issue of this, Danny. It’s one night, for God’s sake. I think you’ll live.”

It probably made him the biggest pussy alive, but she’d just hurt his damn feelings.

Bad.

The power shift of him obviously wanting her and needing her more made Danny feel vulnerable.

And stupid.

And terrified.

“Well, I definitely don’t want to interrupt. Or bother you with any ‘strenuous physical activity.’ So, don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Danny, that’s not what I meant…” Kat replied, voice slightly softened.

“No, I get it. You need some space. And that’s cool. I’m down with that. Probably a good idea for both of us.” Danny tugged at his uniform collar, because he suddenly felt like he was choking. “Just wish you would have said that up-front and saved us both the hassle, you know?”

A long, uncomfortable silence stretched out before Danny finally cleared his throat again. “Well, have a nice night. If you feel like hooking up tomorrow, give me a buzz.” Danny tried swallowing down the boulder in his throat. “If not, no big deal.” When Kat didn’t respond, Danny nodded slowly. “Okay, then…I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Danny, I…”

Kat’s words trailed off.

He managed to push, “Yeah?” past the hideous tightness in his throat.

Talk to me.

Tell me you still love me.

Because I love you so much and it’s killing me that I can’t say it to you right now.

Kat finally exhaled a long breath. “Nothing. Have a safe shift. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll make plans, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Another weird silence stretched out, during which Danny’s brain screamed:

Please say you love me.

If you say that, I’ll know everything is really okay, deep-down.

If you say that, I’ll be able to make it until tomorrow night without losing my shit completely.

Please…just say it…

“Okay…well…good-night, Danny. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Danny’s hand tightened around the phone. “Yep. Good-night.”

A few seconds later, she was gone.

*

“Looks like a
pretty decent stitch-up job.” Ben leaned a hip into the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, gaze narrowing on the side of Kat’s head. “You can barely see it.”

Kat pushed her hair back over the spot to completely cover the spot. “I asked Stella to do it, but she is surprisingly squeamish about stitching so the attending ER doc did it.” Kat reached up and repositioned a chunk of hair, trying to cover the stitches. She lowered her voice and peeked around Ben before saying, “I didn’t tell the guys what happened.”

It was so early none of her co-workers were in, but she and Ben were tucked into a back corner of the lab where Kat was unpacking the newly delivered equipment, anyway.

Kat did one more quick peek, just to make sure nobody had snuck in. She rolled her eyes. “Stellan’s a huge worrier. Plus, he has a penchant for gossiping with sisters about stuff I’d rather keep quiet.”

“Stella and…” A weird expression crossed Ben’s face. He cleared his throat. “Your other sister already know. Won’t they tell the others?”

“I swore them to temporary secrecy.” Kat lifted a shoulder before sliding the X-Acto knife across the top of a box. “Plus, they don’t fully comprehend how bad it is. They heard fifty-fifty chance of staying benign and – God love ‘em – that’s what they’re running with.”

Ben’s silence had Kat glancing over.

At her quirked brow, he shrugged. “Fifty-fifty is fifty-fifty. Why are
you
running with worst case scenario?” He gestured down to her lower half. “From what I can see, your legs are back to good and all of the other symptoms have subsided. Maybe it really was just a simple flare-up and not an indication that things are getting worse. Maybe there really is nothing to worry about.”

“Who said I was worried?” She shrugged again, turning her attention back to the box of lab burners. “It is what it is. No sense in worrying about it or wishing otherwise, right? Nothing you can do about it, anyway.”

Ben huffed softly. “You can fool all of them, but you can’t fool me, Kat. ‘Cause I’ve been there.” When she looked up at him, his lips tugged into a half-smile. “You’re looking at the master of
pretending-not-to-give-a-shit-when-really-I’m-scared-out-of-my-goddamn-mind-about-shit-going-on-in-my-body
.” Ben’s smile faded, his dark brown eyes way too compassionate and wise. “And I know that’s why you’re pushing that crazy-ass man of yours away, too.”

The thoughts and emotions Kat had been trying so desperately to beat back slammed into her, making her breath catch, her chest ache, and her eyes well.

She’d thought of nothing
but
that crazy-ass man for the past eight hours.

But Kat was handling the horrific guilt and nearly crippling agony relatively well, she thought.

Sure, she hadn’t slept a wink all night.

And, yes, she’d cried into her pillow so hard that Fi had knocked on her door several times, concerned that Kat’s stifled sobs were being caused by physical pain.

I would take any manner of physical pain over this
, Kat thought, unconsciously rubbing at the terrible ache behind her sternum.

Because I feel like I’m dying.

But no medicine can help me. No surgery can remove this. Nothing can cure it.

I just need to push through. Time will ease it. I’m sure it will…

And the worst part was knowing she’d hurt Danny.

Kat knew she’d never forget that insecure, heartrending tone in his voice…the hurt he’d tried so desperately to cover up.

The furious rubbing she was doing against her skin began to burn.

Because, if it doesn’t ease up, I might actually die of a broken heart.

“Kat?” Ben’s deep voice broke through her sleep-deprived, heartsick musings.

Kat forced herself to focus. “Yeah?”

“Maybe you should take the day off to rest.” He handed her a roll of paper towel he’d grabbed off a lab table. When Kat stared at it questioningly, Ben gestured to her face and quietly said, “You’re crying.”

Kat’s hands flew to her cheeks to find them embarrassingly wet.

Shit.

She ripped off a few sheets of the coarse, brown toweling and blotted at her cheeks.

Kat exhaled a shaky laugh. “I’ve been doing more unconscious crying the past two days than I’ve done regular crying in the past twenty-eight years.” She sniffled, folding the paper towel into a neat square before glancing back up at Ben. “I’d normally be humiliated to be caught crying – and at work of all places – but I seem to be beyond shame right now.” Her lips curled into the tiniest of smiles. “Plus, it’s hard to be embarrassed in front of a guy who has a copy of
Love, Actually
in his truck.”