All the King's Men (43 page)

Which is nonsense, for whatever you live is Life. That is something to remember when you meet the old classmate who says, “Well, now on our last expedition up the Congo–” or the one who says, “Gee, I got the sweetest little wife and three of the swellest kids ever–” You must remember it when you sit in hotel lobbies or lean over bars to talk to the bartender or stand in a dark street at night, in early March, and stare into a lighted window. And remember little Susie in there has adenoids and the bread is probably burned, and turn up the street, for the time has come to hand me down that walking cane, for I got to catch that midnight train, for all my sin is taken away. For whatever you live is Life.

As I turned away, there was the wild burst of music from up in the building, louder than the baby’s cry, shaking the mortar out of the old brick work. It was Adam’s piano.

I caught the train for Memphis, stayed three days, had my séance with Miss Littlepaugh, and returned. With some photostats and an affidavit in my brief case.

Upon my return I found the call in my box. It was Anne’s number, then Anne’s voice on the wire, and, as always, the little leap and plunk in my heart like a frog jumping into a lily pool. With the ripples spreading round.

It was her voice saying she had to see me. I told her that was easy, she could see me all the rest of her life. But she ignored that little joke, as no doubt it deserved, and said for me to meet her right away. “At the Crescent Cove,” I suggested, and she agreed. The Crescent Cove was Slade’s place.

I was there first, and had a drink with Slade himself in the midst of soft lights and sweet music and the gleam of chromium, and looked at Slade’s yellow-ivory bullet head and expensive tailoring and at the reigning blond at the cash register, and remembered wistfully the morning long ago in Prohibition, when in the back room of his fly-bitten speakeasy Slade, with hair on his head than and not a dime in his pocket, had refused to fall in with Duffy’s attempt to force beer on Cousin Willie from the country, who was, it turned out, Willie Stark, and who wanted orange pop. That had fixed Slade for ever. So now I had my drink, and looking at him, marveled how little is required for a man to be lost or saved.

And I looked up into the mirror of the bar and saw Anne Stanton come in the door. Or rather, her image come through the image of the door. For the moment I did not turn to face the reality. Instead, I looked at the image which hung there in the glass like a recollection caught in the ice of the mind–you have seen, in winter in the clear ice of a frozen stream, some clean bright gold and red leaf embedded to make you think suddenly of the time when all the bright gold and red leaves had been on the trees like a party and the sunshine had poured down over them as though it would never stop. But it wasn’t a recollection, it was Anne Stanton herself, who stood there in the cool room of the looking glass, above the bar barricade of bright bottles and siphons across some distance of blue carpet, a girl–well, not exactly a girl any more, a young woman about five-feet-four with the trimmest pair of nervous ankles and smallish hips which, however, looked as round as though they had been turned on a lathe, and a waist just the width to make you wonder if you could span it with your hand, and all of this done up in a swatch of gray flannel which pretended to a severe mannish cut but actually did nothing but scream for attention to some very unmannish arrangements within.

She was standing there, not quite ready to start patting the blue carpet with an impatient toe, turning her smooth, cool face (under a light-blue felt hat) slowly from one side to the other to survey the room. I caught the flash of blue in her eyes in the mirror. When she was just behind me, she said, “Jack.”

I didn’t look round. “Slade,” I said, “this strange woman keeps following me round, and I thought you ran a respectable place. What the hell are you going to do about it?”

Slade had swung round to look at the strange woman, whose face was all at once chalk-white and whose eyes were uttering sparks like a couple of arc lights. “Lady,” Slade said, “now look here, lady–”

Then the lady suddenly overcame the paralysis which had frozen her tongue and the blood hit her cheeks. “Jack Burden!” she said, “if you don’t–”

“She knows your name,” Slade said.

I turned around to face the reality which was not something caught in the ice of the mind but was something now flushed, feline, lethal, and electric and about to blow a fuse. “Well, I declare,” I said, “if it isn’t my fiancée! Say, Slade, I want you to meet Anne Stanton. We’re going to get married.”

“Gee,” Slade said, his pan as dead as something in the sink next morning, “I’m glad ter–”

“We’re getting married in twenty-hundred-and-fifty,” I said. “It will be a June wedding, with–”

“It will be a March murder,” Anne said, “right now.” Then she smiled, and the blood subsided in her cheeks, and she put out her hand to Slade.

“Glad ter meetcha,” Slade said, and though the face which he exhibited might well have belonged to a wooden Indian, the eyes in it didn’t miss any of the details suggested by the coat suit. “How about a drink?” he asked.

“Thank you,” Anne said, and settled on a Martini After the drink, she said, “Jack, we’ve got to go,” thanked Slade again, and led me away into the night full of neon lights, gasoline fumes, the odor of roasted coffee, and the honk of taxis.

“You have a wonderful sense of humor,” she said.

“Where are we going? I sidestepped her remark.

“You are such a smart aleck.”

“Where are we going?”

“Aren’t you ever going to grow up?”

“Where are we going?”

We were walking aimlessly down the side street past the swinging doors of the bars and oyster joints and past newsstands and old women selling flowers. I bought some gardenias, gave them to her, and said, “I reckon I am a smart aleck, bit it is just a way to pass the time.”

We walk on another half block, threading through the crowd that drifted and eddied in and out of the swinging doors.

“Where are we going?”

“I wouldn’t be going anywhere with you,” she said, “if I didn’t have to talk to you.”

We were passing another old woman selling flowers. So I took another bunch of gardenias, laid down my four bits, and shoved the blossoms at Anne Stanton. “If you can’t be civil,” I said, “I’m going to smother you in these damned things.”

“All right,” she said, and laughed, “all right, I’ll be good.” And she swung on to my arm and matched her step to mine, holding the flowers in her free hand, her bag tucked under the off elbow.

We kept step, not talking for a half block. I looked down, watching her feet flick out, one-two, one-two. She was wearing black suède shoes, very severe, very mannish, and she clicked the pavement with authority, but they were small and the fine ankles flickered, one-two, one-two, hypnotically.

Then I said, “Where are we going?”

“To walk,” she said, “just walk. I’m too restless to be still.”

We walked on, down toward the river.

“I had to talk to you,” she said.

“Well, talk then. Sing. Spill.”

“Not now,” she said soberly and looked up at me and I saw in the light of the street lamp that her face was very serious, even worried. The flesh seemed smoothed back, even painfully taut over the wonderful perfection of the bone structure of her face. There wasn’t any waste material in that face, and always there was a hint in it of a trained-down, keyed-up intensity, though an intensity kept under the smooth surface of calm, like a flame behind glass. But the intensity was keyed up more than usual, I could see. And I had the feeling that id you turned the wick up a fraction the glass might crack.

I didn’t reply, and we took a few more paces. Then she said, “Later. Now just walk.”

So we walked. We had left the streets where the bars and pool-rooms and restaurants were, and the blare or whimper of music from beyond the swinging doors. We passed down a grubby, dark street where a couple of boys scurried along by the walls of the houses, uttering short, lost-sounding, hollow calls, like marsh birds. The shutters were all closed on these houses, with here and there a tiny chink of light showing, or perhaps the faint sound of voices. Later in the spring, when the weather turned, people would be sitting out on the sidewalk stoops here in the evenings, talking back and forth, and now and then, if you were a man passing, one of the women would say in a conversational tone, “Hey, bud, you want it?” For this was he edge of the crib section, and some of these houses were cribs. But at this season, at night, whatever kinds of life were in those houses–the good life and the bad life–were still withdrawn deep inside the old husks of damp, crumbling brick or flaking wood. A month from now, in early April, at the time when far away, outside the city, the water hyacinths, would be covering every inch of bayou, lagoon, creek, and backwater wit a spiritual-mauve to obscene-purple, violent, vulgar, fleshy, solid, throttling mass of bloom over the black water, and the first heartbreaking, misty green, like girlhood dreams, on the old cypresses would have settled down to be leaf and not a damned thing else, and the arm-thick, mud-colored, slime-slick moccasins would heave out of the swamp and try to cross the highway and your front tire hitting one would give a slight bump and make a sound like
kerwhush
_ and a tiny thump when he slapped heavily up against the underside of the fender, and the insects would come boiling out of the swamps and day and night the whole air would vibrate with them with a sound like an electric fan, and if it was night the owls back in the swamps would be
whoo
_ing and moaning like love and death and damnation, or one would sail out of the pitch dark into the rays of your headlights and plunge against the radiator to explode like a ripped feather bolster, and the fields would be deep in that rank, hairy or slick, juicy, sticky grass which the cattle gorge on and never get flesh over the ribs for that grass is in that black soil and no matter how far the roots could ever go, if the roots were God knows how deep, there would never be anything but that black, grease-clotted soil and no stone down there to put calcium into that grass–well, a month from now, in early April, when all those things would be happening beyond the suburbs, the husks of the old houses in the street where Anne Stanton and I were walking would, if it were evening, crack and spill out onto the stoops and into the street all that life which was now sealed up within.

But now the street was blank, and dim, with a leaning lamppost at the end of the block, and the cobbles oily-greasy-glimmering in its rays and the houses shuttered, and the whole thing looked like a set for a play. You expected to see the heroine saunter up, lean against the lamppost and light a cigarette. She didn’t come, however, and Anne Stanton and I walked straight through the set, which you knew was cardboard until you put out your hand to touch the damp, furry brick or spongy stucco. We walked on through without talking. Perhaps for the reason that if you are in a place like that which looks like a cardboard stage set and is so damned
q-u-a-i-n-t
_, whatever you say will sound as though it had been written by some lop-haired, swivel-hipped fellow who lived in one of those cardboard houses in an upstairs apartment (overlooking the patio–Oh, Jesus, yes, overlooking the patio) and wrote a play for the Little Theater which began with the heroine sauntering into a dim street between rows of cardboard houses and leaning against an askew lamppost to light a cigarette. But Anne Stanton was not that heroine, so she didn’t lean against the lamppost and didn’t say a word, and we kept on walking.

We walked on down till we came to the river, where the warehouses were and the docks fingered out into the water. The metal roofs of the docks glimmered dully in the rays of the street lamps. Above the pilings of the docks a thick tangle of mist coiled and drifted, broken here and there to show the sleek, velvety, motionless water, which glimmered darkly like the metal of the roofs, or like a seal’s black, water-slick fur. A few docks down, the stubby masts of freighters were barely visible against the dark sky. Somewhere downstream a horn was hooting and moaning. We moved along beside the docks, looking out into the river, which was tufted and matted over the blackness with the scraggly, cirrus, cottony mist. But the mist stayed close to the surface of the river, and to look out over it made you think of being on a mountain at night and looking for miles out over clouds below. There were a few lights over on the far shore.

We came to an open pier which I remembered as the place where excursion boats picked up their crowds in summer afternoons for the moonlight ride up the river–big, jostling, yelling, baby-carrying, pop-and-likker-drinking, sweating crowds. But there wasn’t any big side-wheeler there now, white as wedding cake, cranky and improbable, with red and gilt decorations, and no calliope was playing “Dixie” and no whistles blowing. The place was as still as a tomb and as blank as Gobi on a moonless night. We walked out to the end of the pier, leaned on the railing, and looked across the river.

“All right,” I said.

She didn’t answer.

“All right,” I repeated, “I thought you wanted to talk.”

“It’s Adam,” she said.

“What about Adam? I asked, evenly.

“You know–you know perfectly well–you went there and–”

“Look here,” I said, and I felt my blood getting up and my voice taking on an edge, “I went there and made him a proposition. He’s a grown man and if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to take it. There’s no use blaming me and–”

“I’m not blaming you,” she said.

“You just started to jump me,” I said, “but if Adam can’t make up his own mind and can’t take care of himself, you needn’t blame me.”

“I’m not blaming you, Jack. You’re so jumpy and touchy, Jack.” She laid her hand on my arm, on the rail, and patted me, and I felt the head of steam in me drop a few pounds of pressure.

“If he can’t take care of himself, then you–” I began.

But she cut in, quick and sharp, “He can’t. That’s the trouble.”

“Now, look here, all I did was to offer him a proposition.”