All the Things I Didn't See (9 page)

“I’
M SORRY
, Sam.” Josh’s voice was soft and full of regret. “I
shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

Sam shook his head. “It’s okay. Wasn’t your fault.” He shifted in the bed as best he could and patted the space beside him. “Sit.”

Josh did as he was told. Sam took his hand and examined the bloody nail marks on Josh’s arm.
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Josh tried to dismiss the scratches.
Sam just ignored him and beckoned the nurse over to the bed.
When she saw the marks on Josh’s arm, she startled. “Oh my, those look nasty. I’ll be right back to clean those up.” She bustled out of the room.
Sam looked at Josh. The towel around his hips had loosened a little, and it had settled a bit lower. Sam’s eyes were drawn to the smooth skin of Josh’s abs and the small thatch of hair that started below his navel and disappeared under the towel. The man was so beautiful it was unreal. “Sam?”
“Huh?” Sam looked up into those stormy blue eyes.
“Hmm?” He knew what Josh was going to ask, but he didn’t know how to answer.
“Why didn’t you tell me what he did?” He sounded so hurt, and it made Sam feel terrible.
Sam shrugged. “Embarrassed.”
“What? Why? He’s an idiot, Sam. You didn’t do anything to deserve what Evan did.”
“Maybe I did.” Sam looked down at their hands.

“What do you mean?” Josh was confused.

 

“Josh… I think I—” His confession was cut short by the arrival of Beth, followed closely by Nicole.

“Morning, guys. I hear there was some excitement here this morning.” She moved around the room, checking monitors and discreetly changing the bag attached to Sam’s catheter. “You both okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine.” She didn’t like the defeated tone to Josh’s voice.

“Josh, you might want to get dressed before more people get here.” She smiled as she said it, hoping to lighten the mood a little. “Like Sam’s parents?”

Josh’s blush was adorable. “Uh, yeah, right.” He started to get up but was stopped by Sam.

 

“Arms?” His voice was starting to clear a little.

At that, Beth moved forward with a small towel and some cotton gauze. Josh hissed as she wiped the scratches down with antiseptic.

“Wow, Evan did that?” Nicole wasn’t a happy camper. Her first order of business was finding out how Woods had managed to get his sneaky ass past security.

Josh just shrugged. “Not a big deal. I didn’t exactly behave myself.”

 

Sam rolled his eyes at him. “Josh is a big baby.” Nicole wasn’t sure what was funnier, Sam’s assessment or Josh’s pout.

“Well, be that as it may, I think we need a little less excitement around here. I’m going to have a little chat with Security.”

“He won’t be back.” Sam didn’t sound particularly upset about that.

 

The nurse finished taking care of Josh and left. He stood up. “I’m just gonna get dressed now.”

 

Sam leered at him. “Kinda like the outfit.”

Josh smacked him on the arm. “Cut it out.” He wasn’t sure he was ever going to stop blushing. He crossed to the bathroom and went in, closing the door.

Nicole looked at Sam. It was obvious the young man was troubled about something. She was betting it had nothing to do with breaking up with his boyfriend.

She went to the bed. “You okay, Sam?” She put her hand on his arm.

He looked at her and nodded at the bathroom door. “I feel bad, but mostly for him.”
“I know. But, Sam, you know he really cares about you, right? He was almost destroyed when you got shot.”
Sam smiled. “I care a lot about him too.” The morning’s excitement had left his voice little more than a whisper.
“You should tell him. I think you might be surprised at what he’d say.” She headed out the door. “I’m serious, Sam.”
He looked at her thoughtfully. “Maybe.”

“Get some rest. I’ll be back when Dr. Harris does her rounds.” She disappeared around the corner, and the door closed softly behind her.

Chapter 9

O
NCE
Josh was dressed, he left the bathroom to find Sam alone, almost asleep. He walked over to the bed, unable to resist the temptation to brush back the lock of hair that had fallen over Sam’s eyes.

He knew most of the fans preferred it shorter, but Josh liked it when it was long and silky. It softened Sam’s look and made him look younger.

Sam’s eyes opened in response to Josh’s touch. His sleepy gaze found Josh’s.

“Hey.”
“Hey. You okay?” Sam’s voice was syrupy with sleep.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Josh smiled down at his friend, tucking a second stray strand behind his ear.

“M’fine… tired.” These short answers were beginning to bother Josh. He missed Sam going on for hours about almost anything.

“I bet you are, after the morning we’ve had.” He smoothed his knuckles over Sam’s cheek. “Get some sleep now. But just so you know… when your folks get here, I’m gonna take off for a little while, okay?”

The immediate pout on that sleepy face was telling. “Why?” Sam would have been too proud to ask if he had any filters in place.

“I just have to take care of something. I’ll be back, soon as I can. I promise.” He carded his fingers through the oily blond hair. It needed to be washed badly, but Josh didn’t care.

“Okay.” Sam sighed quietly. “Miss you.” He was drifting off fast.

Josh grinned. “I’ll miss you too, Sam.”
The other man’s breath had already evened out.

As he started to settle into a chair to wait for Sam’s parents, he discovered Sam had twisted his hand into the bottom of Josh’s shirt. He gently untangled it before sitting down.

Sam wasn’t the only one who was tired. Josh found himself slipping into a light doze while he waited.

He awoke a few minutes later to the door opening, eyes flying open and tensing up until he saw that it was Mary and Kenneth entering the room.

Josh quietly rose from the chair and made his way over to the door.

“Mornin’, Josh. How’s he doing?” Kenneth’s voice was soft, trying not to wake his son.
“He’s tired. We had a little excitement this morning, and I think it wore him out,” Josh whispered, still feeling guilty about his fight with Evan.
“Yeah, we heard. Nicole is looking to skin someone alive for Evan getting in here.” Kenneth looked down at his feet, obviously searching for words. “I guess you know now, huh?”
“About Evan cheating? Yeah. I don’t understand it, though. How he could do that to Sam?”
Mary smiled at the confusion and disappointment etched on Josh’s face. This young man was definitely a special one. She moved over to the bed, gently smoothing out the blanket covering Sam and pushing his hair back off his forehead.
Josh and Kenneth continued talking softly.

“We were all disappointed, Josh. But I don’t think Sam is too heartbroken.”

Josh considered what Kenneth said and realized he was right. During Evan’s visit, Sam seemed more concerned about Josh than what Evan had done.

Josh spoke again. “I still don’t understand something, though. Why did he stay with him? I never would have thought that Sam would put up with that kind of garbage from anyone.”

Kenneth loved the way Josh jumped to the defense of his son. “I guess that’s one of those things that you’re going to have to talk to him about. But let it go for now, Josh. I have a feeling he needs to be a little stronger for that chat.”

Josh was puzzled but nodded in agreement. “Okay.” He looked at Sam sleeping for a moment before continuing.

“Um, I have to take off for a while. There’s something I have to take care of at home.” Josh was a little bit hesitant to bring the next subject up. He wasn’t sure how what he had to say next would be taken, but he forged ahead, anyway.

“When I get back, I’d like to talk to you and Mary about Sam’s recovery… where things go from here.”
Kenneth just nodded, not seeming surprised about Josh thinking he would be involved in that discussion. “Sure. It’s about time we started working on that.” He glanced at his sleeping son before looking back at Josh. “Are you going to talk to Stephanie?”
Josh sighed. “Yeah, I am. It’s about time. Things haven’t been good between us for a while, and this horrible incident has made me realize that she and I just aren’t what we should be for each other.”
“Well, good luck with that. Does Sam know you’re going?”
“I told him before he fell asleep. He was pretty out of it, though, so you might have to remind him.”

Kenneth laughed. “He tends to be muddle-headed when he’s sleepy even when he’s healthy.”

“Don’t I know it! Try having 6:00 a.m. calls at the studio with him. I practically have to pour the coffee down his throat to get him going. Some days it takes that
and
a double chocolate muffin.” Josh chuckled, thinking of Sam on a sugar high. There was nothing more aggravating… or adorable.

“Well, take your time, son, and we’ll be here when you get back.” Kenneth wasn’t foolish enough to suggest that Josh take some time away from the hospital. It would have been a useless effort, anyhow.

Josh ran his fingers through his hair and gave Kenneth a wry smile.

 

“Thanks. I don’t think this will take long.”

Kenneth nodded sympathetically and patted him on the shoulder before turning and joining his wife at Sam’s bedside.

Josh took one last look at Sam and walked out the door. It was shaping up to be a long day.

W
HEN
Josh got out of the cab in front of his apartment building, he felt like it had been years since he’d been there. He headed inside and up the stairs, wishing, not for the first time, that the building had an elevator to get him to the fourth floor.

As he walked down the hall toward his door he struggled with what to say to Stephanie, but he couldn’t think of anything that would make it easier on either of them.

It was quiet as he unlocked the door, but that wasn’t unusual. Stephanie liked to sleep in on the weekends, and he realized with a start that it was Saturday. He dropped his keys on the little table by the door and walked into the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, he grabbed a carton of orange juice and poured himself a glass. After he drank it, he put on a pot of coffee and made some toast.

When it was ready, he made his way to the living room, turning on the TV, flipping channels aimlessly, and watched quietly as he ate, waiting for Stephanie to wake up.

He wasn’t surprised when she stumbled into the living room a half hour later, roused from her sleep by the scent of freshly brewed coffee.

She walked into the kitchen, poured herself a cup, and then joined Josh on the couch, sitting on the opposite end.
“So….” Josh wasn’t sure how to start.
She snorted. “I know.” She took another drink of her coffee. “This is kind of fucked up, huh?”
Josh looked down at his fingers, watching as they tangled together in his lap. Hands that had been touching Sam pretty much constantly for the past three days.

“Yeah, it’s really fucked up, Steph.”
“Is Sam okay?”
“No. Not yet. But he will be.”
“Good… and Josh… I’m really sorry he got hurt.” Josh

could tell she was sincere.
“Me too.”

Josh started to shake, and Stephanie quickly put down her coffee and wrapped her arms around him. She held him as he cried out all his grief and anger, all the while whispering comforting words and petting his head until he finally calmed down enough to talk to her.

“It wasn’t your fault, Josh,” she said firmly. “It was that whacko’s. He’s the only one who gets to take the blame here. And if I know Sam at all, he feels the same way.”

Josh nodded. “Pretty much. I was just so scared, though, you know? I knew there was something wrong even before he walked up to us… but by then it was already too late.”

She sat up and let go of him, nodding agreeably as she picked her coffee up again. “It usually is.”

 

He looked up at her and sighed. “This isn’t the way I wanted this to go.”

 

Stephanie knew he wasn’t just talking about the conversation.

 

“Yeah, me neither.” She stood up and headed back to the kitchen for a refill.

“I’m gonna pack up my stuff and head off to my sister’s later,” she said as she returned. “I think a few weeks in Boston would do me some good.”

“You don’t have to go, Steph. This is your place too.”

She smiled at him. “Nah, this is your apartment, Josh. You lived here first. I’ll come back later and get the rest of my stuff.”

“I don’t know what to say… except that I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, honey. We just want different things out of life. I’m more of an instant gratification kind of person and you seem to have all the patience in the world when it comes to getting what you want.”

She walked back over to him, and he stood up to face her.
“One day, Josh Kelly, you’re going to be a famous actor/director and I’ll get to say ‘I knew him back when…’ and I’ll be proud to say it.” She offered him a small smile. “But right now, I think I need someone who can put me first all the time. I’m a little selfish that way.”
“I never meant….” He struggled to get the words out.
“I know, Josh. If I thought that you’d just used me, I could be royally pissed. Hell, it might even make me feel better. But it’s not in you to do that to anyone.”
She took a deep breath. “So, are you bringing him back here to recover? Or is he going home to Evan?”
“Not Evan. No, that’s over. I found out today that he’d been cheating on Sam. I’m still trying to figure out why he stayed.” Josh shook his head, still very confused.
Stephanie had her own theories. “Well, I’m glad Sam’s done with him. The man is a complete jackass!”
Josh looked at her in surprise. “I thought you liked Evan?”

She snorted in derision. “Are you kidding me? He kept looking at me like I was on the dessert menu. He’s a stupid asshat!”

A near-hysterical laugh burst out of Josh. So much had happened, and he just couldn’t seem to wrap his head around it.

“So, you still didn’t answer my question. Is he coming back here?”

Josh shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. There’s too many stairs. I need to find someplace better. I just don’t know where. Or even if his parents will agree to me taking care of him.”

“Josh, his parents already worship the ground you walk on.” She thought for a second. “What about Kismet?”

“My parents’ place on Fire Island?” He considered it for a moment. “You know… that might just work.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You really are brilliant, you know.”