All the Things I Didn't See (4 page)

“Every time Sam spoke, the guy got angrier, and all I could think to do was get his attention away from Sam. But then the guy pulled out the gun, and I could feel Sam tense up behind me, and then he was trying to get around me as if to shield….”

Josh couldn’t breathe. His chest heaved, trying to get air it couldn’t find.

Mary wanted to tell him to stop. She wanted to take him in her arms and keep him safe, but she knew he needed to finish.

Josh looked up into her eyes as if pleading with her to believe him.

He continued. “I tried to keep Sam behind me, but he just kept pushing….” Tears began running down Josh’s cheeks, and his voice grew hoarse.

“It all happened at once.” He swallowed hard. “That fucking cop shouted. What in the hell was he thinking? And the gun went off and somehow Sam was in front of me.” He leaned forward, hiding his face in his knees.

“Sam—he was falling—and I caught him. I didn’t let him fall!” He looked up again, seeing Kenneth’s face, begging his forgiveness.

Kenneth’s heart was breaking for the young man in front of him.
“That maniac, he fell—the cop shot him, I think….” He trailed off for a moment before continuing. “Sam was bleeding. His lips were moving but nothing was coming out, and I tried… oh God, I tried!”
Josh slid off the couch, curling up into himself, lost in horrible memories. He dissolved into heartrending sobs.
Kenneth was beside him in a second, squatting down to hold on to his shoulders, and Mary pressed up against his side, trying to offer Josh the comfort she couldn’t give her son at that moment. She cradled his head to her chest, stroking his hair, trying to calm him.
Jared sat down on the other side of Josh, leaning over to whisper in his ear.
“Josh, you have to calm down. If you get too worked up, Nicole will make you leave.”
He gripped Josh’s upper arm hard, making sure he had his attention. “If you want to be here when he comes out of surgery, you have to get yourself together… now!”
He knew Josh heard him when he took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with a handkerchief that Kenneth offered him.
The older couple sat there, trying to calm and comfort this young man who meant more to their son than he even knew. Now, they were quickly coming to realize that maybe Sam meant more to Josh as well.
Josh drew a few more shuddering breaths, finally getting control of himself before looking up at Sam’s parents.
“I’m so sorry—” His apology was cut off by an angry voice at the door.
“You fucking well should be!”
Josh looked up into the face of a very pissed-off Evan Woods.

Chapter 4
A
LL
eyes in the room snapped to the door, and it seemed like the tension had just jumped about a thousand degrees. “Evan, I….” Josh stuttered, unsure of exactly what to say to Sam’s boyfriend.

It didn’t really matter. Evan cut him off before he could say anything. “Some fucking psycho fan of yours comes after you, and you let him get Sam instead?” Evan stalked toward Josh, who was still sitting on the floor. “It should have been you who was shot, not Sam!” Evan was so wrapped up in his rant that he missed the shocked hiss coming from Sam’s mother.

“You’re right.” Josh’s voice was broken and defeated.

Sam’s mother had heard just about enough. The next thing he knew, Evan had a very angry Mary Peterson in his face, and it was apparent to everyone in the room where her son got his famous temper.

“Evan Michael Woods, stop that right now!” The woman’s eyes were blazing, and every inch of her tiny fivefoot-two-inch frame was wracked with angry tremors. “Josh did everything he could to protect Sam, but when that boy is determined to do something, no one can change his mind, and we all know it!”

Evan still looked angry, but it finally occurred to him that freaking out at Josh wasn’t the best way to endear himself to Sam’s parents. He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get his temper under control.

The skinny ass had somehow managed to win the favor of his boyfriend’s stuck-up parents, something that Evan hadn’t managed to accomplish in two years of dating Sam.

“I’m sorry, Josh. I’m just really worried about Sam and I don’t know what to do.”
Josh wondered if he was the only one in the room who felt that Evan’s words fell flat, sounding practiced.
Jared had stood when Evan entered the room, and now he reached down to offer Josh a hand up. His young friend took it gratefully, squeezing gently before letting go.
Once he had Josh on his feet, Jared looked over at Evan. The man was handsome, he’d give him that. But Jared had often wondered how someone as loving and passionate as Sam had ended up with a man as calculating and selfish as Evan seemed to be.
“Evan, we’ve been here for almost”—Jared looked down at his watch—“three hours. Where in the hell have you been?”
Evan appeared shocked at being questioned and looked down at the floor before answering. “I was… at an audition, and my phone was off. I didn’t know until after….”
Something in that explanation was wrong. Josh was sure of it. He tried to remember what Sam had said earlier that day. He was sure that he had mentioned what Evan was doing, but he hadn’t been paying close attention.
Kenneth stepped up and clapped Evan on the shoulder, and Josh gave a small smile when he saw the younger man wince a little.
“Don’t worry about it, Evan. I’m sure you got here as soon as you could.”
Josh looked at Kenneth, absolutely certain that Sam’s father didn’t believe any such thing.

Josh looked around at them all, feeling confused, like there was something he was missing, but no one would catch his eye. He thought about pursuing it, but in all honesty, he was just too exhausted.

“You know, Josh, it’s nice of you to hang around and all, but maybe you should go home. Get some rest.” Evan’s look of friendly concern wasn’t fooling anyone. “I’ll make sure someone lets you know about
my
boyfriend’s condition.”

Josh opened his mouth to object, but once again he was cut off by Sam’s mom.
“Josh isn’t going anywhere, Evan. He’s Sam’s best friend, and he of all people deserves to be here when Sam gets out of surgery. Besides, he has to stay.”
Josh had a bad feeling about where this was going. He knew that Mary wasn’t in any mood to be stopped.

“I don’t get it.” Evan looked at her, genuinely confused. “Why does Josh
have
to be here?”

Josh cut in, needing this argument not to happen right now. He had a feeling that Evan had not been informed that Josh was the one who could make the medical decisions.

“Because when Sam wakes up, he’s gonna be worried, and I’ll need to show him I’m okay.”

 

Evan snorted but wisely refrained from commenting.

Josh looked at Sam’s mom, silently pleading for her to let it go for now. He knew she wasn’t a big fan of Evan, and Josh honestly didn’t blame her. He wasn’t, either, but now wasn’t the time to be aggravating Sam’s boyfriend.

She looked at him and sighed, but kept quiet because it was what Josh wanted.

 

A knock on the door got their attention, and they turned hopeful eyes that way and saw Nicole standing there.

Josh motioned her in, and she came over to stand in front of the assembled group. “I just wanted to let you know they’ve finished up the surgery and Sam is in post-op. They are getting ready to move him up to a private room on the eighth floor. Once they have him settled, you’ll be able to see him, one or two at a time and only for about ten minutes.”

Josh felt a hand take his. He looked down to see Mary’s small hand there. Her other one was enveloped in Kenneth’s hand, offering strength as well as taking it.

“How’s he doing?” Kenneth’s voice was thick with emotion.

“I’ll have to let the surgeon go into more detail, but from what I gather, he did as well as can be expected, considering all they had to do to remove the bullet and repair the damage.”

She looked around, apparently seeing the fear and hope mingled together on their faces. “He’s on a ventilator to help him breathe, but that’s only temporary. His recovery is going to depend a lot on him. But he’s young and strong.”

Josh nodded, although the small relief that Sam had made it through the surgery did nothing to relieve the tense, angry knot in his chest. There was still a long way to go.

All of a sudden, Josh needed to get out of there. He needed some fresh air and five minutes to himself. “How long until we can see him?”

Nicole looked at Josh appraisingly. “Half an hour, maybe a little longer. Why?”

Josh looked at Sam’s parents, then at Jared, who was being uncharacteristically quiet, and then at Evan, who was glaring at him. He turned back to Nicole.

“I need some fresh air. Is there somewhere I can go? A back door or something?” He was desperate.

 

The nurse nodded. “I’ve got just the place. Come on.” She pushed him ahead of her out the door.

 

Evan’s voice reached them a moment later.

“Hey, honey, could you get us some coffee here or something?” There was a pause, then the sound of quiet voices scolding him. “What? It’s not like she has anything better to do.”

Nicole snorted and rolled her eyes.

“I have to ask, Josh. What in the hell is Sam doing with a jerk like that?”
Josh snorted before remembering that maybe he shouldn’t laugh. “I have no idea. Sam has terrible taste in men.”
Nicole smiled at him thoughtfully before speaking. “Not entirely sure that’s true.”

Josh was puzzled, but Nicole just sighed and urged him forward. “Come on, I’ve got something to show you.”

She led him to an elevator and ushered him inside, pushing the button for the top floor. They both stood quietly as it started to rise. Josh was confused as to where they were going and it showed on his face.

“Just trust me, Josh. I haven’t let you down yet, have I?”

“No.” His voice was more serious than he wanted it to be. He was honestly grateful for everything she had done for him.

Nicole looked at him again, seemingly seeing everything he wanted to say in those expressive blue eyes. She patted him on the back and nodded, just as the elevator chimed that it had arrived at their destination.

“Come on, just up these stairs.” She grabbed his hand, pulling him along, and he soon found himself facing a door. There was a card reader on the wall beside it, and Nicole pulled an access card out of her pocket and swiped it through the machine.

When the door clicked, she opened it, and Josh was rendered speechless by what he saw.

They were on the roof of the hospital, and obviously, the staff had been making use of the space. There were patio tables and some chairs, and beyond that, Josh could just make out a gazebo in the dimming sunlight.

The nurse reached over and flipped a switch, and the whole thing was lit with strings of tiny white lights. The effect was magical.

Inside the gazebo, there were pots of flowers that were overflowing with fragrant blossoms. There were different kinds of ivy climbing and twisting through the supports, reaching for the sky.

He took a deep breath. The heavenly fragrance of the blooms was almost overwhelming.
Sam would love it here
. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Nicole asked softly.
Josh could only nod in agreement.

“It started out with a plastic table and an ashtray and grew from there.” She smiled as she walked over to run her fingers along some of the delicate blossoms that twisted around the metal gazebo frame.

“Working here is stressful and harsh. Sometimes it feels like you’re losing your soul to all the tragedy that comes barreling through.”

She walked over to the railing surrounding the cement pad that housed the little piece of paradise and looked out over the city.

“Sometimes, we need a place to get away, even for just five minutes. But we can’t go anywhere. So we started coming up here.” She smiled at the memory of finding new treasures. “People started bringing things to brighten it up, make it more comforting. The tables, the flowerpots, and one of the surgeons donated the gazebo. The doctor who operated on Sam today? Meredith Harris? She likes it up here.”

Knowing that made Josh feel a little better somehow. Nicole turned and walked back over to the door. Putting her hand on the doorknob, she looked back at Josh.

“In spite of it all, Josh, working here is a good thing. I’ve seen so much courage, so much love and kindness come through these doors. People we thought wouldn’t make it through the first five minutes have gone home to their families in a few days.”

She looked out over the skyline again and then back at Josh.

“Sam’s got a lot going for him. Family who love and support him, fans who adore him, and his best friend by his side. That gives him the best chance of recovery, because he has a reason to get better. Just… have a little faith, okay?”

She opened the door. “Take your time, Josh. I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed and I promise I’ll come and get you if they get him moved any sooner.”

“Thank you.” It was all he could get out, but Nicole thought it was enough.

 

“No problem.” She walked away, the door swinging shut behind her.

Josh walked over and stood in the same spot Nicole had, looking out over the city. The sun was setting and lights were coming on everywhere, and it all looked so beautiful. It certainly didn’t look like the kind of place where such tragic things happened.

He wandered over to the gazebo, checking out the flowers, smelling them and smiling.

He remembered the scene that he and Sam had done on the roof of “Martinsville Memorial.” The roof of the studio had stood in for the hospital, and Sam had been a little nervous up there. Heights were definitely not his thing.

It had been cold and intense, and Philip and Connor fighting was never one of Josh’s favorite things to film.
But Sam had always found ways to make it better for him, to make it easier. He’d joked in between takes, cracking Josh up, making sure that the anger and hurt that the two characters had to deal with never bled over into their real-life friendship.
Josh could feel the tears start again, sliding silently down his face. Sam was his best friend, and he couldn’t imagine that amazing young man not being a part of his life.
But it had almost happened today. Sam had lain there on the sidewalk, held tight in Josh’s arms, and Josh had almost lost the most important person in his life. The thought almost brought Josh to his knees.
He walked over and sat down in one of the chairs, knowing that passing out on the roof wasn’t going to do Sam any good.
He wasn’t sure when Sam had become that person for him… the one person in his life besides his family that he couldn’t live without. He wasn’t sure what it said about him and his other relationships, including the one with Stephanie.
At this point, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He only had one focus right now, and that was Sam and his recovery. And Sam would recover. Josh wouldn’t accept anything less.