All the Things I Didn't See (3 page)

Read All the Things I Didn't See Online

Authors: Cindy Sutherland

Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Literature & Fiction, #Fiction, #Gay, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Gay Romance, #Genre Fiction, #Short Stories

Josh smiled at her. “Yeah, we did that last year, when I got hurt in a car accident and they wouldn’t tell Sam anything.” He grinned, remembering Sam’s reaction to being kept away from him. “Man, was he pissed. I thought he was going to beat the crap out of someone.”

Josh also remembered how upset Sam had been when he had finally been allowed in to see Josh. Sam was listed as his contact as well.

She handed him the form and he quickly signed it. Then she helped him up and led him back out to the hallway just as the trauma room doors finally opened and two surgical technicians wheeled the unconscious Sam out on a gurney.

Josh looked down at his best friend and smiled. Sam’s hair was a mess, and that was gonna piss him off when he woke up. Josh reached down and ran his fingers through it, trying to straighten it out a bit. Oddly enough, he thought of the studio’s plan to make Sam cut his hair soon. Josh wished they’d just leave it.

He leaned down and whispered in Sam’s ear before straightening up and gently rubbing his shoulder. At Nicole’s nod, the technicians started pushing the gurney down the hall toward the elevator marked “Express to Surgery, Sixth Floor.”

Josh watched silently until Sam was loaded on and secured before the doors closed. Then he turned and walked back into the small family waiting room, collapsing on the couch.

“What did you say to him?” Jared almost felt guilty asking, but he couldn’t help himself.

Josh smiled up at him. “I told him that he was my best friend, the person I need most in my life. I told him that I knew that he wouldn’t let me down.”

Jared smiled at him. “Ah, the old guilt trip huh?” Josh took a shaky breath and nodded. “Yep, you know Sam. He never could say no to one of my guilt trips.” Jared prayed that it was as true now as it had ever been.
Chapter 3

T
WO
hours had passed since Sam had been taken up to surgery, but it felt like two years to Josh and Jared. They were stuck there, sitting and waiting for news, and it was nearly unbearable. It was quiet in the little room, but every once in a while, the sound of a scuffle down the hall startled them.

“Okay, that's it. Get the hell out!” Josh listened to Frank the security guard dealing with some reporter, who apparently had tried to get past him. “Don’t aim that camera at me… this is a restricted area… get out now!” There was a short pause in which they could hear some indistinct but angry-sounding mumbling. “Yeah? Same to you, buddy.”

Josh smirked, grateful the line of defense seemed to be holding, though he couldn’t help but worry.
Sam’s folks would be there soon. He just hoped the picture he had shown Frank would help them get past the stalkerazzi camped at the front of the hospital. Nicole had brought him Sam’s phone, he had found a photo of his costar’s parents on it, and it had made him smile. Josh had been there when it was taken at Mr. and Mrs. Peterson’s anniversary party the year before.
He thought it was ironic and a little sad that Sam was going to find more fame in one day from almost getting killed than he had found in ten years of acting. He wouldn’t wish that kind of notoriety on his worst enemy.
Sam had tried so hard for so long and was so immensely talented that Josh sometimes questioned why Sam was still a part of their little show. He should have moved on to Broadway or the silver screen a long time ago.
It would have made Josh laugh to know that Sam felt the same way about him.
Josh started pacing back and forth across the small room, Jared’s eyes tracking his every movement. He thought back to the phone call he’d made after Sam went up to surgery. He shook his head again at the insensitivity of his girlfriend.
As he’d expected, Stephanie had been upset when he called. He’d missed two calls from her, and he knew she’d be worried. But when he had called, she had seemed more irritated than concerned.
“Hello? Josh? Where in the fuck are you? Do you have any idea what’s going on here? There are fucking reporters constantly buzzing the apartment, and I don’t know what the hell’s going on!”
Josh sighed, waiting for her to finish ranting. When she stopped to take a breath, he started to speak.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner but something happened today.”
“No shit!
Wincing at the sarcasm in her voice, he tried to figure out where to start. “We went shopping today. Sam and I—”
“Shopping? I thought you were at the studio doing some taping?”
“Yeah, we were supposed to, but there were some equipment problems. They gave us the day off so—”
She cut him off again.
“So, you get the day off and instead of spending it with me, you fuck off and go shopping with Sam instead. Nice!”
“Jesus, can you let me finish, for fuck’s sake?” Josh didn’t like losing his temper, but she wouldn’t even let him get out a full sentence.
She gasped at the tone, and he took advantage of her distraction to speak.
“Please, Steph, I have to tell you something. Sam… Sam got shot.”
“What? How…? I don’t understand. What happened?”
He told her the whole story, and he was sobbing by the time he finished.
“I don’t know what to say, honey. It sounds horrible.” She actually sounded genuinely sympathetic for a second, but she continued talking. “See? I was right. I told you that you needed to get off that stupid show. You need to move on to bigger and better things and leave all that baggage behind.”
Josh just stood there gaping at the phone. That was how she thought of Sam?
“Sam isn’t baggage, Stephanie. He’s my friend… my goddamned best friend!”
“I know he’s your friend, sweetheart, but some things are more important than that.” She sounded like she was speaking to a child, like it was taking all her patience to talk nicely. “I mean, it’s not like you have a contract or anything. Just have them kill Philip off or something.”
Josh was shocked. He knew that Stephanie was a bit selfish, but he never thought she could be this heartless. It made him sad and kind of scared to know that his judgment of someone he had been dating for two years was so off. It hit him hard that he didn’t really know her at all.
“You need to come home, Josh.” Her voice was cold and demanding. “I can’t deal with all this crap alone. You should be here taking care of it!”
He finally lost it.
“Are you out of your mind?” He knew he was screaming, but he really didn’t give a shit. “Sam’s in surgery and might not make it, and you want me to come home and answer the fucking phone? Really, Steph? That’s what’s important to you?”
Josh continued pacing the small room, running his fingers through his hair over and over, a nervous habit he’d picked up from Sam.
“I mean, never mind that he saved my life, and let’s forget that he has no family here.” His anger was reaching a fevered pitch. “And let’s ignore the fact that he’s lying there with a bullet in his chest because of me, but how dare it inconvenience you?”
“Josh, I—” Stephanie was starting to realize that maybe she had pushed Josh a little far and tried to apologize, but he cut her off.
“Save it. I’m getting off the phone now before I say something I may or may not regret later. But you should know this.” His voice was low now. “I am not leaving this hospital until I know that Sam’s gonna be okay. I don’t care how long it takes. The first face he’s gonna see when he wakes up is going to be mine, telling him how grateful I am that he’s alive and calling him an idiot for playing the hero.”
Stephanie had never heard Josh talk that way before, like her opinion didn’t matter. She was pretty sure she had broken something between them, and she didn’t know how to fix it.
“God, Josh, I’m so… I’m sorry.”
“I’ll call you later.”
The phone went dead, and she stood there staring at it for a little while, wondering how things went so bad, so fast.

J
ARED
tried several times to get Josh to relax, but it was impossible. He’d drunk the juice Nicole brought him and managed to eat a few of the crackers, but he was feeling so sick to his stomach that he was afraid of pushing it.

When he had asked again for a coffee, Nicole took one look at him, all jittery and still very pale, and brought him herbal tea instead. He drank it, hoping to warm the cold feeling in his chest, but it hadn’t helped.

There was a knock on the door, and when Josh looked up, Frank was ushering Sam’s parents into the room.
Mary and Kenneth Peterson looked scared and tired, but as soon as they saw Josh, Mary held out her arms. He got up off the couch and moved into them eagerly.
She held him tight for a moment, and he knew she was trying to gather herself together. She pulled back and cupped his face in her hands, checking him over, making sure he was uninjured.
He silently thanked God that he’d showered and changed. Having Sam’s mom standing there looking at him covered in her son’s blood would have been unbearable.
“Josh? Sweetie, are you sure you’re all right?” She looked at him with eyes so like Sam’s, and he could feel that coldness in his chest growing bigger.
“I’m fine, Mrs. Peterson… just worried.”
“Josh Kelly, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Mary? Mrs. Peterson is my mother-in-law.”
“Yes, ma’am. Sorry.”
He turned to Sam’s father, Kenneth, his heart full of guilt and anguish, but Kenneth just took Josh’s hand in both of his and squeezed.
“Now, Josh, you listen to me. I see that guilty look on your face, and it needs to stop right now. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is not your fault! That young man did this to Sam, not you. Got that?”
Josh’s breath hitched, his heart breaking for these two people who had always been so kind to him.
“He’s right, Josh. None of this is on you.” She hugged him again. “Now, have you called your parents, sweetie?”
Josh shook his head. “No, they’re on a cruise right now, an Alaskan cruise, if you can believe it.” Mary chuckled a little. “Mom checks in with me every couple of days, so I’ll wait till the next call comes through.”
He didn’t say that he couldn’t deal with his parents’ anxiety and concern right now. And he was more than a little worried that their opinion would be along the lines of Stephanie’s.
“But, Josh, what if they hear about it before then?” Mary said, gently touching his arm. “We heard it on the news on the way to the airport and on the ride over here in the cab.”
“Mom never lets Dad watch the news while they’re on vacation. It gets him too worked up. And I… I’m okay.”

“You are most certainly not okay, young man. You’re scared and worried and probably suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress… thing. You are the furthest thing from okay.”

“I will be… when Sam’s out of surgery.”

Kenneth spoke up. “The nurse… um… Nicole?” Josh nodded. “She filled us in on Sam’s injuries. It’s a good thing you were here to sign the consent form.”

Josh looked at the floor, then back at Sam’s father. “I hope you’re okay with that. It was Sam’s idea… you know, that we be that for each other in case of any….” He couldn’t finish.

Kenneth smiled and wrapped his arm around his son’s friend.
“Of course it was okay. He told us all about that after your accident last year. He was so mad at the hospital that day.” He shook his head in amusement. “When Sam phoned us that day from the waiting room, his mom had a hell of a time convincing him to not force his way in to see you.”

Josh smiled softy, knowing exactly how angry Sam had been that day. He’d ranted about it for a week before making the appointment with the lawyer to draw up the power of attorney documents.

Josh felt a vibration in his pocket and pulled out Sam’s phone. It was a number he didn’t recognize, so he ignored it, but it reminded him about the call from Sam’s brother.

“Did Derek get ahold of you? He called a while ago, and I told him what was going on. He said he would call you for updates.”

Josh was never sure if Sam’s brother liked him all that much. Every time they were all together, Derek seemed to spend a lot of time staring at Josh, like he was trying to figure out some kind of puzzle.

“Yes, we talked to him briefly before we took off from Bradley.” Mary sighed, shaking her head. “He’s so upset about his brother and really wanted to catch the next plane. But Miko’s due any day now, and he needs to be with her.”

For the past four years, Sam’s brother had worked as an environmental planner for the World Bank’s office in Vienna. Two years ago, he had married Miko, a financial analyst with the WB. The couple was expecting their first child.

Josh suddenly remembered Sam telling him that his parents had planned to fly to Vienna for the birth of their first grandchild.

“Oh shit, when were you supposed to leave?” He blushed when he realized he had cursed in front of Sam’s mom. “Sorry.”

“Uh… Josh, you’ve met my son, right? He hasn’t watched his language around me since he was eight.” She chuckled a little before quickly sobering.

“We were supposed to leave the day after tomorrow. But now we’ll wait until Sam’s okay before we leave.”
Josh loved how positive she seemed that Sam would be okay. Then again, she hadn’t seen him like Josh had, bleeding and so still. Sam was never still.
He felt the blood running from his face, and he started to sway. Mary quickly grabbed his hand and led him over to the sofa, pulling him down to sit beside her.
“Josh, do you think you could tell us what happened?”
She didn’t want to push the young man. It was obvious he was pretty much hanging on to his emotions by a thread, but she really needed to know how and, more importantly, why her son had been shot.
The nurse said that a detective had been by briefly, but he was called away almost as soon as he arrived, telling Josh he would be back to take his statement.
Josh leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. He tried to fit all the facts together in his head before starting.
“There was a production problem at the studio so we got an unexpected day off. We decided to check out a couple of the stores, you know, near Sam’s apartment?” Josh shuddered as the terrifying playback began.
“We were going for coffee after leaving The Bookmark, that bookshop he likes over on Avenue L?”
The pained expression on Josh’s face tore at Mary’s heart.
“I spotted this guy coming across the street toward us, and at first he looked… normal. He introduced himself to me, and I smiled at him, and he seemed nice enough. But then he looked at Sam and his whole expression changed. I mean, I didn’t understand it then, but he looked so angry, and it scared me.”
He remembered the whole horrific scene in minute detail, how something clenched in his throat, telling him this man was dangerous, especially for Sam, and he could feel it even now.
“I tried to get Sam to go back in the store, but you know Sam….” They all nodded, even Jared, and he had heard this story already.

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