“Isn’t he wonderful?”
“Mom, he’s a freaking prodigy!” I said.
She giggled. “Maybe. But it just makes him so happy, did you see?”
“Yes, but this gives him something to look forward to – a career perhaps.” I screwed my face up in concentration, dreaming of the wonderful life ahead of Tommy.
“Oh, Irelyn, when will you ever learn that life doesn’t have to be so neatly organized?”
I froze, gazing at her face. What did she mean? Did she think people should just be as reckless and careless as she’d been? Pregnant at sixteen and a mother by seventeen? No wonder my grandparents wanted nothing to do with Tommy or me until they discovered we weren’t like our mothers. They didn’t want their hearts broken again.
I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I didn’t want to have this argument with her again. I had too much on my plate at the moment. “Okay, fine, Mother. I’m going to go put my stuff away and call Dustin.”
My heart faltered as I said his name. Would he hear the guilt in my voice? And later, when I was with him, would he see the sin in my eyes?
***
“You look so hot,” Dustin said for what had to be the hundredth time. “Wow.”
“Stop,” I said with a bashful smile. Inside, I was skipping for joy. Bailey had loaned me one of her dresses and Morgan, quick with a needle, had made the necessary alterations. Bailey was taller than me with a little more in the bust department. But by the time Morgan finished, the dress fit me like a glove.
It was a simple black dress that hugged my waist and reached my knees. The sleeves sat slightly off the shoulder and emphasized my neck. The heels were Morgan’s and although they still didn’t make me as tall as Dustin, I could at least rest my head on his shoulder when we danced.
Dinner was the same boring affair except my grandparents raved about Tommy’s newly found talent to anyone who would listen. Once we finished, Dustin whined that I looked too pretty to go home.
“And you’re too pretty to sit in a dark theater,” he said, his eyes lighting up with a new idea. “Why don’t we hit a club? We’ve never done that before and I think it will be fun.”
Only wanting to spend time with him – and not just to try to erase Lucas from my mind – I agreed.
I lived in a pretty small town in Indiana called Dalefield. It was about thirty minutes from Indianapolis and two hours from Chicago. The Dunne-Browling campus was located just outside of Indianapolis limits and we passed it as Dustin drove us to Indy. Chattering excitedly, I could tell he was happy to have me to himself, even if we were going to a club. I relaxed, holding his hand, happy that he was happy. Maybe I’d take Morgan’s advice and just end that silly thing with Lucas. I loved Dustin. He was comfortable and safe.
After he parked, Dustin took my hand, eagerly towing me into Last Call, a club I’d passed millions of times but never entered. He paid the cover and we both accepted the under twenty-one stamp on our hands.
The place wasn’t as crowded as I assumed it would be on a Saturday night – of course there were plenty more clubs around. We easily found a table and ordered soft drinks from our flirty waitress.
The music was live and loud and not Out Back. I relaxed, totally thankful for small favors.
Dustin dragged me to the dance floor just as the band slowed things down. He held me closer than he ever had at the country club, guiding my body around the dance floor. I rested my cheek on his chest, eyes closed, a satisfied smile on my face.
Once the song ended, the band jumped into a fast number but Dustin wouldn’t allow me to return to the table. I laughed as he spun me and twirled me and dipped me. It’d been such a long time since we’d had this much fun together that I didn’t want it to end.
After a few more songs, I begged Dustin to let me rest and rehydrate. He agreed and we returned to our table. As I settled into the high seat, sipping my drink, I allowed my gaze to wander around the club. My heart stilled in my chest when I glanced at the bar and met a familiar pair of eyes. Sucking in a breath, I drew a concerned look from Dustin.
“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”
Swallowing, I nodded. “Yeah. Just wiped out.” I tried to smile at him as I tore my eyes away from the bar. “Um, I need to use the restroom.”
“Sure,” he said and pecked my lips.
I fled down a dark hall and pushed the door open so hard I nearly knocked another girl off her feet.
“I’m so sorry,” I pleaded, fighting tears of panic.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” she said as she brushed past me. Digging my phone out of my bag, I began to pace. I dialed Bailey’s number and listened as it rang and rang. Finally, she answered.
“What’s up, Irelyn?”
“Where are you?” I asked. “Can you talk?”
“Hold on. I’m at a party. Let me step outside.”
I waited, staring at my anxious reflection in the mirror. Would Lucas say anything to Dustin? Should I be out there in case he did? No, he’d told me that it was between me and him.
“Okay, kid, what’s up?” Bailey asked.
“Oh geez, Bailey,” I gushed, near hyperventilation. “I’m at a club in Indy with Dustin and guess who is sitting at the bar?”
She laughed and I wanted to hit her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Really?”
“It’s not funny!” I said, stomping my foot. “What the hell should I do?”
“Ditch Dustin and hook up with Lucas?” she suggested.
I groaned.
“All right. Well, just ignore Lucas and hang out with Dustin for a few then fake a headache.”
She was brilliant. “But what if Lucas approaches us?”
She snorted. “He won’t. Didn’t you tell him about Dustin?”
“Yes,” I said slowly.
“Then he won’t. Now get out there before one of your men comes looking for you.”
“Thanks, I owe you,” I said and hung up. I splashed a little cold water on my face, gathering courage to return to the table. I was relieved to see Dustin still by himself. I slipped onto my chair, offering him a small smile.
“Is something the matter?” Dustin asked, his eyes laced with deep concern. A thousand butcher knives jabbed my heart. I hated myself.
“A headache,” I claimed. “I’ll be fine in a second.”
“Do you want to leave?” he asked, crestfallen. I couldn’t refuse him.
“No, not yet.”
“Just say if you want me to take you home,” he offered. He glanced around the club, looking for the waitress. “I’m going to get us some drinks.”
I watched Dustin wend his way through the crowd before resting my head on my arms on the table. I groaned when I felt him approach. “Go away, Lucas. I can’t talk to you tonight.”
“You look so good,” he said with such longing, my treacherous heart twitched. “Wish you’d dress that way for me.”
I lifted my head to glare at him. “Please, go away.”
“Relax. Your boyfriend is at the bar getting drinks.” Smirking in his sexy way, he leaned against the table, tipping a bottle of beer to his lips. I realized in that moment that I had no clue how old he was.
“Yeah, and he’ll be back in a minute.”
Lucas shrugged. “I told you that this,” and he waved his finger between me and him, “was between us and I meant it. I’m not saying a word.”
“So, what am I supposed to tell him when he comes back to the table, huh? Thanks for the drink honey and by the way, this is the guy I’m sleeping with behind your back.”
Lucas grinned and chuckled. He winked at me causing my pulse to zip through my veins. Why did he have to be so sexy and why did I have to want him so much?
“Here, sweetheart,” Dustin said, uncertainly. He glanced at Lucas, a deep groove appearing in his forehead. “And you are?”
“Lucas,” Lucas said, setting his beer on the table and extending his hand. “I’m a friend of Bailey’s. Have you met her yet?”
Dustin’s face relaxed and he managed to crack a smile. I could read his expression like a much loved book. He was assuming that Bailey and Lucas were sleeping together. Jealousy raged inside my heart at the mere thought. I inhaled, trying to tame it. What a fraud I was.
“Yes, I met her last weekend. She’s a beautiful girl,” Dustin said.
Lucas nodded, averting his eyes from me. “She is. You must be Dustin.”
“Yes, nice to meet you,” Dustin said with a forced smile.
“So, have you two been here before?” Lucas asked.
I massaged my temples as a real headache began to form. Dustin draped a possessive arm around me. “No. Irelyn isn’t a big music fan.”
Lucas raised a surprised brow at me, his eyes registering his astonishment. “Oh, really? Huh. I thought everyone loved music.”
“It gives me a headache,” I said through clenched teeth, glaring murderously at Dustin.
He kissed my cheek. “Still not feeling well?” I shook my head. “All right. I’ll take you home.”
“Hey, nice to meet you,” Lucas said, shaking Dustin’s hand. He nodded at me. “See you soon, Irelyn.”
“Sure,” I mumbled.
“Maybe the four of us can get together sometime?” Dustin suggested. My stomach turned.
“The four of us?” Lucas asked.
“Yeah, me and Irelyn and you and Bailey,” Dustin said.
“He’s not really with Bailey,” I said as I smiled sarcastically at Lucas.
Amusement literally turned his eyes a lighter shade as a smirk flowed across his lips. “No, not at all. I’m actually seeing another girl – nothing serious or anything.”
A low growl erupted from my lips but Dustin took it as a hint that I was not feeling well. “Well, maybe we can get together anyway. I need to get Irelyn home.”
“Sure, see you around.”
I jerked Dustin’s arm before he could offer any more stupid suggestions. As soon as we hit the parking lot, he started with the questions.
“So, who exactly is that guy?”
“A friend of Bailey’s. I’ve only met him once or twice,” I said, satisfied that I hadn’t quite lied yet.
“You seemed awfully anxious to get away from him,” he mused as he opened his car door for me. “Why?”
I waited for him to get in and buckle his seat belt before answering. “He’s okay, I guess. He plays in a band and, like you said, I’m no fan of music.”
“Ah,” he concluded. My heart settled, happy he accepted my explanation. I hated to lie and I suddenly envisioned a lifetime of falsehoods stretching before me.
Dustin pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. I fiddled nervously with my fingers, knowing he’d want more than just a little peck on the lips.
“We should go away together soon, Irelyn,” he said as he cupped my cheek. “It’s been awhile, you know.”
I did know and I was more than a little afraid to spend a weekend alone with him – I was terrified. I was terrified that I’d have sex with Dustin and compare him to Lucas the whole time. And that wasn’t fair. Not in the least.
“Maybe when, um, maybe when I’m on break or something. You know, you’re going to law school and you can’t fall behind.”
“It’s just a weekend, sweetheart,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Or, don’t you want us to…you know…again?”
“Sex, Dustin. Sex. We had sex. And more than once. You don’t have to dance around the word,” I said. Shame hovered over me and I immediately regretted my words. It wasn’t his fault that I’d betrayed him and it wasn’t his fault that at that very moment, I was thinking about Lucas.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“No,” I said softly, taking his hand. “I am. I’m tired and not feeling well,” I claimed. It was partially true. “Why don’t you call me tomorrow and we can do brunch before you drive back to school?”
Smiling, he captured my lips in his usual sweet kiss – the kind I loved. They lacked the passion and heat that Lucas’s kisses contained but they made up for it with sweet charm. “I love you, Irelyn.”
“I love you, too,” I said before slipping out of the car. I raced inside and up to my room, shutting the door quietly. I curled up on my bed and allowed the tears to flow, hoping to wash away my shame.
Once I finished, I crept to the downstairs bathroom to wash my face. I sank to the floor with my cell phone, opening it slowly. I searched through the numbers, wondering who in my meager list of friends I should call. I didn’t think Bailey would be particularly sympathetic and I was certain Morgan would load me up with moral crap.
I stopped when I found his number. I closed my eyes, angry that he’d had the audacity to program his number in my phone – but I was more amused. I wondered…
Hitting the number, I pressed the phone to my ear. He answered with a laugh in his voice. “Did you ditch the boyfriend already? Looking to meet up with me now?”
“No,” I said, regretting my impulse. “I meant to call him but hit your number instead. Big mistake.” Take that, I thought.
“Sure, love, no problem.”
I waited for him to say something else or to beg me to meet him somewhere but he didn’t say a word.
“Um, are you still at the club?”
“No, actually, I’m driving home. Want me to stop by and pick you up?”
“Not particularly,” I said, grinning.
“So I’m just your Friday night thing, huh? No Saturdays allowed?”
“My Saturdays are pretty booked up right now,” I teased, enjoying the banter. “Sorry about your luck.”
“Me, too,” he sighed. “Especially when you wear little black numbers like you did tonight.”
“Oh, you liked it, did you?” I said, heart lightening. I drew my knees to my chin.
“Why do you think I’m heading home already? I need to take matters in my own hand – if you know what I mean – after the cold shower.”
A furiously red blush engulfed my entire body and I was glad he couldn’t see it. I shivered as I imagined him in the shower – and me with him. Suddenly, a cold shower sounded good. “Well, do what you have to do.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I will. And I’ll moan your name. Goodnight, Irelyn. See you Friday.” He hung up before I could confirm or deny if I’d be there. But we both knew I would.
Chapter 5