I was sprawled on my stomach on my bed Sunday night, books open, intending on catching up with a couple assignments that were due that week when Bailey breezed into the room. She lifted a knowing brow at me and plopped on the sofa, immediately picking up the remote control.
I tried my best to ignore her as she flipped through the channels but it was like her smirk was plastered on every single page of my text book. I sighed and slammed it shut, resting my chin on my fists.
“What?” I asked.
She lifted a shoulder, eyes on the television, creepy smile on her face. “Nothing.”
“You’re lying,” I said.
“Perhaps.”
Groaning, I slid off the bed, strode over to her, and ripped the controller out of her hand. “What?”
“You’re getting in really deep, aren’t you?” she asked, finally turning her attention on me.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“What happened Saturday night after you called me?” she asked.
“Nothing. I faked a headache,” I murmured as I returned to my bed. “After Lucas decided to introduce himself to Dustin.”
She laughed – hard and long – until tears leaked from her eyes. I shook my head in disgust as I tried to find the page I’d been on before she interrupted me.
“I’m glad you find my love life so amusing,” I said, scanning the words in my book. “I nearly had a heart attack.”
Her laughter ended in a series of very unladylike snorts. “Sorry, but you have to admit it is funny.” I glared at her until she held up her hands in surrender. “So, what did Dustin say?”
It was my turn to smirk as I sat up and curled my legs underneath my body.
“Well, Lucas introduced himself as a friend of yours and Dustin assumed that you were sleeping with him.”
She laughed again, but this bout didn’t last as long. “Honey, if you weren’t doing him, I certainly wouldn’t mind.”
That jealous rage filled my stomach and I tried to keep it from seeping onto my face. It was difficult.
“Relax, Irelyn,” she said softly. “There is no way in hell I’d ever do that to you. Ever. I may be a bitch but I’m also a friend.”
I softened and nodded, nibbling on my lip. “I know. Oh, hell. I shouldn’t react that way. What right do I have?”
“Hey, the only law concerning monogamy pertains to marriage and since you’re not married…”
“Yeah, but, Dustin is the one who is going to be hurt.” I pulled my legs out from under my body and leaned against the wall. “Lucas only wants me in his bed. He wouldn’t care if I ended it.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Bailey said as she contemplated her nails. “I think he’d miss you.”
I snorted this time. “He’d have a replacement in a matter of minutes.”
“It’s your delusional world – you can make up the rules,” she muttered as she grabbed the remote. “But I think you’re wrong.”
The conversation was obviously over as she focused on the news and didn’t spare me another look. I returned to my books but her words echoed in my brain. Would Lucas miss me? Perhaps - but not like Dustin would. Lucas and I weren’t really anything – just a …fling. Right?
***
I dressed carefully and modestly before leaving my dorm Wednesday night to drive to my grandparents’ house. Once a month they demanded that I dine at their house so they could talk to me about my education and my future. I didn’t exactly enjoy these evenings but they weren’t unbearable, either.
Their maid, an older, plump woman, led me to the formal dining room where my grandparents were already seated at the long table. Frowning, I glanced at my watch. I wasn’t late.
“You’re right on time, Irelyn,” Grandfather said from the head of the table. He nodded at the chair on his left and I sat primly. Grandmother sat across from me, solemn expression on her face.
I folded my hands on my lap and smiled. “Good evening.”
“Irelyn,” Grandmother said with an inclination of her head. “How are your studies?”
“Fine. I’m doing quite well. I think I’ve adjusted to college and have been considering adding another class next term.”
“Wonderful,” Grandfather said with a manufactured smile. “I’m very happy to hear this. I’ve received excellent reports about you from Dean Masters. He said you are a mature, responsible young lady and your professors enjoy having you in class.”
I knew he would have Dean Masters spy on me – Dean Masters and my grandfather were old buddies from farther back than even I knew. Still, it irked me that he wanted me to live on my own in the dorms but had someone keep an eye on me like I was a child.
“That’s a relief to hear,” I said.
“What do you plan to do with your degree?” Grandmother asked.
I refrained from shrugging – they certainly wouldn’t approve. “I’m not sure yet. I thought about teaching or writing, but it is still a long way away.”
Grandfather tented his fingers under his chin and nodded as the kitchen staff began hauling in dishes. “It’s never too soon to think about your future.”
My gut clenched as a thought occurred to me. They wanted something from me tonight. I couldn’t imagine what that would be – they already had me under their thumb because of the whole tuition thing.
“Yes, I know,” I said. “Perhaps I’ll speak to an advisor about it,” I said, hoping to placate them.
“Dean Masters would be happy to guide you – as a personal favor to me,” Grandfather said as he signaled for the kitchen staff to leave. He picked up a fork and, following his cue and began to eat; Grandmother and I began to eat. “Call his office tomorrow and make an appointment.”
“Yes, sir,” I said as I nibbled on my salad.
“Have you been able to spend much time with Dustin since school started?” Grandmother asked.
I fought tooth and nail to keep a blush off my face. I didn’t want to clue them in at all about how horrible my love life was at that moment. “Yes. We went out after dinner Saturday night and had brunch Sunday afternoon.”
“He is a nice young man,” Grandfather said, approval dripping from his voice. “Excellent family, too.”
“I know,” I concurred. “He is a perfect gentleman, also.”
“He’d better be,” Grandfather said with a furrowed brow. “I’ll not have any young man treating you as if you were a toy. We don’t need you to end up like your mother and ruin your life.”
I could only nod. It was no use arguing with him – he always won.
“Martin Summerlin came to see me yesterday,” Grandfather continued. Martin, of course, was Dustin’s father. “He said that Dustin is determined to marry you.”
My heart plunged to my toes but I managed to keep my feelings masked. “Well, Dustin hasn’t said anything to me about it.”
Grandmother smiled across the table at me. “Perhaps he was hoping to surprise you.” She shot a dark glance at her husband. “And perhaps you shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Nonsense,” Grandfather said. “She has a right to know – it is her life. And if she is not ready for marriage, then she should have time to think about it and prepare.”
“I’m not ready,” I said, panic in my heart. No, not at all. Hell, I couldn’t even decide what to do about the lover I didn’t want. Okay, I wanted him, but I shouldn’t have him. Now I find out Dustin is contemplating marriage? Already?
“I understand,” he said. “But, an engagement is not unheard of – especially in this day and age. I see no reason why, should he ask, you couldn’t accept and become engaged. A wedding doesn’t have to occur right away.”
I swallowed a chunk of tomato and nodded, my eyes watering. I picked up the napkin in my lap to dab at my eyes. “Excuse me,” I said and sipped my water, washing down the tomato.
“Are you alright, dear?” Grandmother asked.
“Yes. I didn’t slice my food properly,” I explained. I spread my napkin across my lap and pushed my salad plate away. Grandmother smiled her approval – she hated to see a woman clean her plate.
When Grandfather changed the subject, I finally relaxed. We finished dinner and retired to the luxurious sitting room where we had coffee. Grandfather told me about his latest business ventures and I pretended that I understood – and that I cared.
Grandmother filled me in on all the gossip concerning the girls I’d gone to high school with – again like I cared. Apparently, one of them was pregnant and that announcement rocked the bridge club that congregated at Whispering Winds. I feigned the appropriate amount of shock and disgust as Grandmother described how horrified this girl’s family was. I wondered how horrified the girl was and if the boy would stick beside her. Obviously, her family wouldn’t.
As nine o’clock approached, Grandfather ordered his maid to fetch my coat. My grandparents walked me to the door and each pecked my cheek in what they thought was grandparent affection. I accepted it, thanked them for dinner, and fled.
***
I didn’t mention the discussion with my grandparents to anyone – not even my mother when she called to find out how dinner had gone. I kept it to myself, wondering if Dustin really planned on proposing. Only a month ago I would have been thrilled. But now…
I changed into my pajamas, washed my face, cleaned my teeth, and prepared for bed. Bailey was reading a book and Morgan was knitting something that looked suspiciously like a scarf.
I politely answered their questions about dinner, proclaimed exhaustion, and escaped to bed.
I tossed and turned that night and every night after until Friday dawned bright and chilly. November had barged in crisp and cold, forcing me to bundle up as I rushed to classes.
Bailey texted me during my English class to ask if I was going to Rusty’s. I told her I was – how could I not?
When I met her at the dorm later, I asked her what her text had been about.
“Because,” she said, grabbing my arm and forcing me to the sofa. “Amber Gordon was talking shit in class about how she had a date with Lucas tonight after the show.”
My face fell to my shoes as my heart ached in my chest. “She does?”
“I don’t know,” Bailey said. “The girl talks so much shit I never know what’s true and what’s not.” She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowed. I watched her carefully, waiting for her to give me some grand idea as Morgan came in and dropped her books.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, her wide eyes worried.
“Amber Gordon told me she had a date with Lucas Newton tonight after his show,” Bailey said. The words didn’t hurt any less when she said them for the second time.
“Oh,” Morgan said as she sat on the coffee table. “Well, he should be allowed to date, huh? I mean, Irelyn has a boyfriend.”
That hurt more. “Of course you’re right,” I muttered, my eyes itching with tears.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, just call him,” Bailey said. “Damn. Just call and ask him.”
My heart thumped. Yes, I would call him. “How do I ask him?”
“Just open your mouth and let the question come out,” Bailey said impatiently.
Digging my phone out of my bag, I turned away from them as I hit Lucas’s number and waited for him to answer. I hung up when I got his voice mail.
“Voice mail,” I mumbled. I dropped my phone on the table and plopped on the sofa. “Well, you know what? I’m just going to go down there and see for myself.”
Grinning, Bailey slapped me a hi-five. “That a girl. Fight for your man. Well, for one of them.”
I rolled my eyes at her as I contemplated my wardrobe. I fingered the black dress hanging in the closet but decided to save it for another occasion. I didn’t even chide myself for thinking that because I knew it would do no good. There would be other occasions. At least for now.
I decided on jeans and a button up shirt with a cami underneath. Not the sexiest thing but it would have to do. I didn’t want to look desperate.
We arrived early and took our usual table. I ordered a vodka and cranberry juice right away. Laughing, Bailey hugged me.
As soon as Lucas arrived, my body awoke. Every nerve jumped, every cell flipped, every internal organ bounced. A sexy smirk toyed on his lips as he helped his band mates set up for the show. I took it as a sign that he knew I was there.
Once they’d set up, all three of them approached our table and drew up chairs. Scooting his chair between mine and Morgan’s, Lucas draped a casual arm behind me.
“Ladies,” Collin said, his eyes so like Lucas’s my heart jittered. “I’m beginning to think that you’re groupies.”
Leaning back in her chair, Bailey gave a derisive snort. “Nah, this is the only bar around that will serve us alcohol.”
Spencer laughed, holding his belly as his eyes remained on Bailey. “Oh, you’re a pistol, aren’t you darling?”
She lowered her lids as her lips slipped into a smile. “Want to shoot me and find out?”
I rolled my eyes and turned my head in time to catch Lucas gazing at me, desire evident on his face. My bottom lips quivered as I longed for him to just take me in his arms, carry me to the mop water-smelling, filthy-floored storage room, and have his way with me.
I wanted to ask him about Amber but I just couldn’t open my mouth. Bailey kicked the leg of my chair but I ignored it as I continued to gaze at Lucas.
“So, speaking of groupies,” Bailey said, kicking my chair once more. I reluctantly turned my head away from Lucas to look at her. “You guys have quite the following at our school.”
“Is that so?” Collin asked, eyes amused.
“Yep,” Bailey said nonchalantly. “As a matter of fact, one of the girls in my class was bragging about having a date with one of you tonight.”
Collin choked out a laugh. “It ain’t me. I’m grabbing a pizza and a case of beer after the show.”
Grinning wolfishly at Bailey, Spencer scooted his chair closer to her. “I could have one tonight – if you just say the word.”
“Please,” Bailey said as she turned her shoulder on him. She raised a brow at Lucas but before he could answer, the bartender shouted at them.
Lucas kissed my temple as my heart slowly crumbled. He followed his brother and his cousin to the stage as I motioned for the waitress to bring us another round.
Halfway through their first set, Bailey nudged me and nodded at a curvy redhead who sashayed her way toward the dance floor. She stood off to the side, near the stage, flirtatious smile on her lips.