Allie's War Season Three (159 page)

"Of course not, Esteemed Bridge," Garend said, sounding appalled. He bowed when I didn't answer, even as Tenzi did the same. "...Your every wish is ours to fulfill, beloved sister."

"I appreciate that," I said. "I really do. Can you tell me what's been done so far with him? Have preliminary scans been completed on his light?"

"Yes, Esteemed Bridge,” Garend said hastily, still keeping his face below mine. “Balidor oversaw all of that himself. Ditrini has been drugged as well, at high levels...pretty much since his system was checked for overdose limits and tolerance...”

“And how is it?” I said. “His tolerance?”

“High,” Tenzi said at once. “Not like your husband, but maybe the closest we’ve found. The Lao Hu must teach that skill as well..."

"...Or Shadow," I muttered, folding my arms tighter as I grimaced.

The two seers fell silent, but I saw them exchange looks.

Tenzi still looked nervous, but he'd fallen into a more subservient posture, as well.

"We have the gas rigged in there too, Allie," he said, forgetting my title briefly. Seeming to realize what he'd said, nerves crossed his expression, even as he made a respectful sign with one hand. I saw the apology there, even before he spoke. "...A thousand pardons for our questioning your wishes in any way, Esteemed sister," he said. "And a thousand pardons for what I'm about to say now...but the Sword will kill us if we let you go in there. You must know that. Chain of command or no, he would expect us to risk any amount of personal hardship to protect you, even the wrath of your most respected person..."

He used the formal Prexci that time, too.

Damn it.

I smiled at him, making a reassuring gesture with one hand. "I understand your concerns, brother...really, I do. I'll make sure that he doesn't hold either of you responsible. In fact, I will inform him, as you have me, that it was believed that a short period of questioning the prisoner would be perfectly safe, given the thoroughness of brother Balidor..."

Looking between them, I sighed, more inside than out.

"I do not enjoy bullying my brothers,” I added. “...But I am making this an order. So unless you refuse to honor my rank due to the kind protectiveness of my husband, I suggest you proceed to do whatever it is you need to do to assure yourselves that you will be exposing me to no danger whatsoever when I enter that interrogation room..."

Seeing the confused look rising to both of their faces, even before they exchanged another set of glances, I added, "...I am also ordering you to keep Barrier silence for the duration of the interview. I have my own reasons for this. I will do you the courtesy of telling you that they do not pertain only to protecting my husband from his own fears..."

When I saw Tenzi and Garend hesitate again, I sharpened my voice for the first time.

"I shouldn't have had to say that," I said. "But I would rather if my wishes on this front were clear...in the event any repercussions ended up being required later."

That time, I saw both of them pale, even as they exchanged another worried look. Then both seemed to make up their minds in the same set of seconds. Tenzi stepped forward once they had, making the respectful sign of the Bridge.

"We do not need to do anything further, Esteemed Bridge," he said, his head below mine now, maybe in case the hand signal hadn't been clear enough. "...The prisoner is secure. You may go in whenever you wish. Do you wish the transcripts first?"

"Thank you," I said. “And no. I will ask my question of him first.”

Fighting the tightness in my chest, I tried to keep it off my face.

If I was going to do this, I wanted it over with. Fast.

Leaving the door of the security booth, Tenzi walked directly to the next door along the hall.

 
I felt my jaw clench as I remembered again who sat on the other side of that door. I hadn't actually seen Ditrini since I'd left the City. Even there, I hadn’t seen him in the weeks before Revik and the others came for me. I hadn’t seen him since that morning, when Voi Pai took me out of that room next to his bedroom in the City’s slave quarters. They'd had to work to wake me up...or so Ulai told me later...and two of them carried me out since he'd doped me up on painkillers after beating me until I couldn't walk.

Shoving the images out of my mind, I felt my hands start to sweat.

Revik aside, I wasn't sure if I was ready for this, truthfully.

Tenzi handed me his headset, flicking it on before he passed it over to me. He watched me fit it over my ear, his hand on the L-shaped handle as he waited for Garend to finish cueing up the machines in the booth before I entered. My hands shook as I finished with the headset. I pretended not to notice, even as I felt Tenzi's eyes following their motion, his expression taut, his skin paler than I’d ever seen it.

I felt as much as heard it when Garend disengaged the locks from inside the security booth.

"Ready, Esteemed Bridge," Tenzi said.

His words held a near-question at the end.

My jaw clenched. Without my meaning it to, my voice turned harsh.

"Open it," I said.

HE DIDN’T LOOK up right away, meaning when the door first opened.

It gave me a few seconds to look him over...and maybe to prepare for this, as much as I could prepare myself, anyway.

I could see right off that he'd been drugged. I could see the difference even past those eerie silver eyes of his, eyes that had always been difficult for me to read. I'd seen him drunk plenty of times, sure. In fact, I'd probably seen him drunk more often than sober, in terms of actual percentages, but then, I never saw him at work, only when he returned from it.

But that was a little too much memory.

It made the rest of it seem more real, not less.

Lost there, for a few seconds at least, I remembered a different life, and maybe a different me. I'm not sure who I'd been when I lived in the Forbidden City, but I knew that version of me had her emotions muted down to the lowest setting possible, at least whenever I could. To say I'd been unhappy didn't capture it. To say I'd been lonely didn't cover it, either.

I'd been dead inside. Like the walking dead, only a lot sadder whenever I sat still long enough for those feelings to surface.

I got up in the morning looking forward to one thing, and only that thing...infiltration classes. I’d tried to convince myself that infiltration would be the thing to climb me out of that fucked up hole where I felt trapped, where I slowly suffocated, watching the rest of me die. I tried to convince myself that if I got good enough, I'd never had to do this kind of work again.

If I got good enough, people like Ditrini couldn't touch me.

I fought that out of my mind, too, and my light.

Even now, it was hard to remember he wouldn't be able to read me in here.

I shoved past that fear, angry at myself for even entertaining it.

I tried again to assess his mental state objectively. Collared. Probably pissed off, although I couldn't feel that in his light, not yet. I knew even if he was, it would come out twisted and sideways anyway, like everything with him. Whatever they had him on, it made him look different than drunk, softening the edges of his light in a way alcohol never managed to do. I wasn't keen on getting very close, but I grazed the very edges of his aleimi with mine.

Nothing. Zilch.

I'd expected that, but it reminded me again who I was dealing with. I'd never been told Ditrini's exact sight rank, but I knew it was high. In the City, I remembered thinking that it was like dealing with Balidor if he suddenly turned into an alcoholic sociopath.

Of course, Ditrini had that Lao Hu connection over me, too.

Touching the headset, I used the link and my mind to ping Tenzi.

I won’t be here long,
I told him.
But feed me anything you see...

Very good, Esteemed Bridge.

I felt the relief in his light, but I didn't have time to dwell on that, either.

Ditrini had noticed me. Or at least, he'd noticed that someone had entered the room.

When he realized it was me standing there, he broke out in an overjoyed laugh. The sound made me flinch, just as it had those weeks I'd lived with him in the fortress of the Lao Hu. The sheer triumph in his eyes made me nauseous, even without the laugh.

“Gods!
D'lanlente a guete..."
he said in accented Prexci, his deep voice as harsh as ever, even with the drugs. "Gods! Take off your clothes, precious...gods, please, take them off...”

I winced, taking a step back.

“...Gods, Alyson! Precious girl...my precious girl!”

I felt my stomach trying to crawl up somewhere to meet the back of my throat. Everything in me recoiled, to the point where I couldn’t look at him. I held up a hand, as if to shield myself from him, or maybe his light. I wondered what in the hell I thought I was doing, coming in here. What deluded part of me thought I could ask any kind of question of Ditrini and actually get a remotely illuminating answer?

“Gods, girl...come here girl. Please. I’ll give you anything...just let me see you. Let me see my property again, please...”

I looked at him that time, almost involuntarily.

His pants strained against the erection I could see, but his eyes were same, hard, mercury orbs, filled with a kind of manic light, a light I remembered, too, even through the drugs currently altering their focus. I felt sick again, almost light-headed, and the feeling wasn’t only rage. I hated what looking at him forced me to remember. I hated how I could see myself in his eyes, how he could make me see the way he saw me.

Trying to push it out of my light, I looked towards the window even as Tenzi and Garend’s presence immediately surrounded me.

...Are you okay, Esteemed Bridge?
Tenzi asked, sounding worried.
Do you want us to come in there to get you?

No,
I sent. I flinched, feeling a dense coil of Ditrini’s light.
No...I won’t be in here long...

Are you sure?
Garend sent.

I’m sure...thank you. It’s all right...

I felt Garend acknowledge my words, albeit reluctantly.

Record everything,
I sent to them.
...Every second. I want the others to look this over when I'm done. Including Revik...and Balidor, when he gets back...

What the hell, I thought. There was no way I was keeping this visit a secret anyway.

I was rewarded by relieved pulses from both Tenzi and Garend's light. I think I'd finally convinced them this wasn't some kind of suicide mission or a 'screw you, Revik,' for something personal going on between us.

Seers and their relationship issues. Jesus.

Tenzi sent me a reassuring pulse.
We're recording,
he confirmed to me.
And I'm right outside the door, Esteemed Bridge. Garend can handle the control booth...and I just got word that Anale will be coming back down soon..."

I nodded in acknowledgement.
Great. Thanks.

I gave the mirror another reassuring smile. Only after I felt Tenzi relax slightly from his position by the door, did I turn to face the Lao Hu infiltrator. Once I had, I saw Ditrini staring at my body, studying the length of me with those dead, silver eyes. Before I could speak, I felt a hard coil of pain leave his light. He shifted in his seat, pulling on me harder with his aleimi, wincing through the current of the collar as he fought against it.