Almost Broken (12 page)

“There is still a lot more for you to handle, Chris, but we both know how you are, and I wanted it known as soon as possible where this is going to end,” she says stubbornly.

“That’s the thing, this doesn’t end! She’s in our lives permanently. It’d be a lot easier to deal with her amicably than have her upset and pissed off. Things don’t have to be like that,” I say.

“I can’t believe you’re mad at
me
for doing what
you
should have from the beginning!” she scoffs. “You need to get the notion of us all being best friends and having dinners and outings together, out of your head. That’s
never
going to happen. Do you remember how we met and why she’s here?” she spits at me.

“I’m not asking you to be her friend. What I am asking you to do is to be cordial, polite, to not treat her like, like…” I stumble to find the right word.

“Like she’s the bane of my existence.” She chuckles.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” I say sarcastically.

“But she is,” she says bluntly, and I let out a sigh.

“She’s only going to be here for three weeks tops, Jenna. I really hope that you can start to try to not see her that way. When we’re married, there are most likely going to be times where you will have to speak with her or be around her while I’m not there…”

“You mean in town?” she asks, interrupting me.

“What?” I ask.

“You said she’ll only be here
three
weeks tops. You mean in town?” she asks suspiciously, and I look away from her knowing that this is about to take the conversation in the opposite direction than I wanted it to go in.

“She’s staying here?” Jenna spits my words back at me. I shouldn’t have said anything, but I didn’t know if Lauren had mentioned it. I’m trying to not add liar to my resume along with mentally unstable fiancé, but reactions like this, even if understandable, make me want to lie.

“You thought I’d be okay with this?” she asks me angrily.

“She’s going to be on an entirely different floor of the house. It doesn’t make sense for them to stay in a hotel and pay all that money and go back and forth,” I say, mimicking my mom’s argument. I can tell by the look on her face that she’s not buying into it at all.

“Why the hell does she need to stay with you, Chris?” she fires back angrily.

“She’s not just staying with just me. My parents are here!” This is not working at all.

“Caylen is your daughter too! She doesn’t need to be here? Don’t tell me she doesn’t trust you with her,” she states in disbelief.

“She’s only one, Jenna. Maybe she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her with people she’s just met,” I say a little irritated.

“You are NOT a stranger to her,” she says angrily.

“You can’t be that oblivious. She’s in love with you, Christopher!” she says, jabbing her finger into my chest.

“It’s not me, Jenna! Cal’s, not who I am,” I say angrily. If I need anyone to get this, it’s her. If she doesn’t get it how can I expect anyone else to?

“Who do you think she sees when she looks at you?!” she says sharply.

“Exactly! She’s going to get to know me while she’s here and see that I’m not him,” I shout back at her, and she looks surprised. “Jenna I don’t want to argue about this every time I see you,” I plead, grabbing her hands, and she takes them away and puts them on her hips.

“There aren’t going to be anymore arguments,” she says calmly, and I’m a little caught off guard by her mood change. “I’m going to have my mom’s firm draw up papers for your divorce,” she says simply. My eyes widen.

“No, you’re not going to do that. I don’t want your parents to know about this!”

“Christopher, they already know. Apparently almost everyone in this town knows that you have a daughter now. I had to explain before they found out and came to a much worse conclusion,” she shrugs, and I scratch my head. What could get any worse than this?

“What did they say?” I ask reluctantly. She smirks.

“What do you
think
they said?” she says, letting out a sigh. That’s fantastic.

“Have you stopped to think about how this makes me look, Chris?” she asks, and I look down, guilty.

I haven’t.

I’ve been so busy trying to figure all of this out I didn’t think about what people may think of her.

“Look I don’t care what people think about me, especially here. I’d just like you to be considerate of me, the other woman involved in this,” she says, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I tug her towards me, and she lets me hug her. I stroke her hair.

“I want this mess to be over with. I want us to start our life together and her waving your marriage in front of me makes this all a thousand times worse. I feel completely ridiculous wearing my ring while she has your last name,” she whimpers.

“Everything’s going to work out. I promise. Okay?” I step back and tilt her chin up to mine and she smiles at me. I hug her tightly. The past few conversations we’ve had end with her crying in my arms. I tell myself again everything’s going to work out but each time it feels like a lie. At the end of three weeks, someone’s going to be hurt.

How do you hurt someone in the best way possible?

HHH

After our fight, Jenna made me feel so bad about Lauren staying I agreed to go to her dad’s partner fundraising dinner I forgot about. Not one I’m looking forward to, but I’m hoping I can blend in with the back ground or bump into someone who might talk about last night’s game.

When I told Lauren I was going she didn’t say much. She just gave me a small smile and kept watching the TV show that was on. My mom reacted more into it than Lauren, asking how I could leave the first night Caylen’s
home, but Lauren actually jumped to my defense, saying she’d be out in less than a half hour after I leave. My dad has disappeared into his man cave. I heard him and my mom arguing about Lauren staying with us.

I didn’t stick around to eavesdrop about the details. I’ve had enough arguments this week to last a lifetime.

I only have three suits. A grey one that makes me feel like I’m going to a funeral, a blue one Jenna bought me that makes me feel like a car salesman, and black that makes me feel like I’m in the mob. If I had to choose between them, the mob seems more exciting, but I grab the one Jenna bought. I shower and throw on the suit with a white shirt underneath and black tie. I look at myself in the mirror and feel like I’m playing dress up in someone else’s clothes. I don’t know anything about fashion or what’s
in,
but I can’t help but feel like something is off about my look. Jenna will have to give me a break on this one. I head towards my mom’s room and see her already sleeping. I was going to ask her to help me out, but she’s had a long day. She was up even earlier than she normally is to prepare for
Caylen’s arrival. I head down stairs and its dark except for the light shining under Caylen’s
new room’s door. I can hear music playing. I walk towards the door to knock, but I don’t. Lauren has been pretty quiet since the talk with Jenna, not that I blame her. She didn’t say much at dinner and looked a little dazed. I don’t know what they said to each other but whatever it was has caused her to be standoffish with me. I guess that’s a good thing. I know there’s a certain distance we should keep anyway. I turn from the door and head across the kitchen to leave out the back door.

“Chris,” she calls quietly. I turn around and see her standing there in an oversized t-shirt that swallows her tiny frame over grey sweat pants, she has on black reading glasses but she still looks amazing. I shake the thought from my head.

“Hey,” I answer. She looks at me curiously, her eyes scanning me, and I realize that I’m dressed like a cross between a penguin and a Valet parker.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” I say, taking the spotlight off me. She takes them off as soon as I say it. She looks embarrassed.

“Just to read,” she replies, closing the door behind her. “A little thirsty,” she says, gesturing towards the refrigerator.

“Oh sure,” I say as she walks past me towards the refrigerator. I watch her as she goes in and grabs the container of orange juice. I don’t know why my feet feel stuck, why I’m so fascinated with what she’s doing, and why I haven’t’ left yet. I’m about ten minutes late already. After she pours her drink, she closes the refrigerator and starts to head back to her room.

“Have a nice time, Chris,” she says. That’s it, she doesn’t even glance at me, and I don’t know why I care so much, but I do.

“Lauren,” I call out a little more urgently than I intended to. She turns around, a little surprised. Her eyes glance over me, and she smiles.

“I don’t know what Jenna said to you earlier, but I know—on her behalf, I apologize.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything else. We both stand there a little uncomfortably. Not because there’s nothing to be said. I guess there’s too much to be said. I wish she’d say something, anything. I wish we could talk like we did that night. But at least she’s still standing here. She hasn’t gone in her room and shut the door in my face. Our eyes meet and my heart speeds up.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she says after a few minutes, her finger running over the glass in her hand.

“How did you meet her?” she asks, her eyes following her finger. I walk over to the small table and sit down. I’m supposed to be leaving, I’m already late, but how can I not answer her question. Maybe it’ll show Jenna in a better light than she showed herself in earlier.

“When my mom got sick,” I start and let out a sigh. It still is hard to talk about. She walks over to me and takes a seat beside me. “It was like life had crapped on me. After everything with me and my condition, the medical bills, the stress of all of it. And then my mom got sick.”

She nods as if she understands. I guess she’d have some idea.

“Our house was like a funeral. My mom, she’s the one that held our family together. The thought of not having her killed me and my dad,” I say honestly.

“He was stronger than me, but I can tell it hurt him, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I couldn’t cry because I felt empty, lost, completely lost. No one could bring me out of what I can only describe as barely living.”

“The only time I left the house was to travel to see my mom at the University Hospital. Jenna goes to school there in town,” I explain hesitantly. She nods, encouraging me to go on. I sigh.

“We went to high school together but we didn’t really know each other, you know? She saw me and spoke to me, but I didn’t answer her. I guess I was in a daze or something and she thought I was being rude so she started yelling at me,” I explain. Lauren looks at me, a little confused.

“Before that, I stopped seeing people. I was in a fog that I couldn’t shake, and I started laughing at her. I hadn’t laughed in months at that point.”

Lauren nods, a small smile on her face.

“I’m glad you had someone there for you,” she says softly.

“We were friends for a whole year. I couldn’t be with anyone while my mom was sick.” I shrug.

“When did you start dating?” she asks curiously.

“About five months ago, once the doctors said my mom was in remission,” I say, still hating to even say the word ‘cancer’ aloud.

“Jenna pushed me to not sit around being miserable. I went back to school and finished my degree and started working again. If it wasn’t for her not letting me feel sorry for myself, believing the world was ending, I don’t know what would have happened,” I say honestly. Lauren’s gaze goes back on her glass.

“Jenna can come off different than how she really is. I don’t know what she said out there but. She just feels… threatened” I say with a sigh. She picks up her glass and finishes half of it.

“Are you excited about tonight?” she says, changing the subject.

“No. I hate these things,” I admit.

“Your tie,” she says quietly, gesturing to it. I laugh.

“I feel like a valet parker,”

There’s a grin, a small one but it’s there. I’ll take it.

“It’s too dark for your suit. Do you have any other colors?” she asks.

“Yeah, not a lot but I just picked one that matched,” I say honestly. She laughs, and my heart skips a beat.

“I can help you, if you want,” she says hesitantly.

“Please!” I beg.

She lets out a light laugh. “Okay,” she giggles. I head up the stairs, and she follows me. Once we make it to my room, I flip the light on and walk over to my drawer where I have about seven or eight ties my mom bought. I sense her behind me, and I move out of the way so she can look through them.

“Sorry you don’t have much to work with,” I say and she smiles up at me.

“Do you have any other suits?” she asks. She must really not like this one. I nod and walk to the closet and show her the other choices.

“I think the black,” she says with a shrug.

She goes back to my tie drawer and picks up a reddish color one. My mom bought it for me for Christmas last year.

“You’re sure?” I ask skeptically.

“Trust me,” she says with a grin.

“Okay. I’ll be right back,” I tell her. I head to the bathroom and change into the black suit and reappear. She’s sitting on my bed leaning on pillow. She looks so comfortable, like she belongs in it.

“Actually, do you have another shirt? The collar on this one looks a little weird,” she says with a grin. I laugh, walk over to my closet where my collared shirts are, and she stands beside me. She shuffles through them and then pulls one out and inspects it. “Can I see the tie again?”

I hand it to her. She puts it near the shirt and gives a nod of approval.

“Okay,” I say skeptically. I start to unbutton my shirt, and there’s a moment where I wonder if I should turn around or if she’ll leave the room.

She doesn’t. She actually folds her arms as if waiting for me to change.

So I do.

She glances around the room, so she’s not staring. I quickly remove the other shirt and throw the one she picked out on. She’s staring at her feet, but I catch her glancing up at me before she quickly looks away.

That makes me smile. I have to bite my tongue to stop it.