Almost Perfect (7 page)

My grandfather was spending the holidays in St. Louis with my uncle and his family. Mom couldn’t get a lot of time off work, so we were staying in Boyer. Just the three of us.

I smiled when I saw the trail of dust approaching down
our gravel road. I made sure the fire was burning okay, then ran to meet my sister.

I’d never seen her car before. She’d saved her pennies from her job at the MU library and bought it from a friend. It was a white Taurus that had seen better years. As she parked, I realized that Laura now drove the nicer car in the family.

I whistled when Laura stepped out of the car but mentally did a double take. Laura looked stylish! She was wearing a long brown coat, a scarf, and leather boots. Her dark hair was much shorter than when I’d last seen her over the summer, and she was wearing makeup, which was unusual for her.

It was hard for me to picture this sophisticated woman as the same girl who used to have water balloon fights with me. The same sister who knocked out two of my baby teeth during a softball mishap. And here I was wearing torn jeans and leaning on a rake like some hillbilly.

“Aren’t you going to help your sister with her bags?” Laura said with a smile.

“Nice to see you, too.” We laughed and hugged.

I hauled Laura’s suitcases into her old room.

“So are these full of bowling balls, or what?” I asked, dropping the bags at the foot of her bed.

“Just wanted to give you an opportunity to show off those muscles, studly.”

Laura removed her boots and sat on her bed. She looked around her old room like she was expecting big changes since she’d left. Actually, almost nothing was different. Her gymnastics and softball trophies were still on
her dresser, the pictures of her old friends were still on the walls, and, I suspected, the little metal pipe and box of rolling papers were still hidden in the back of her closet.

“I thought you and Mom would have taken over my room by now.”

I straddled Laura’s desk chair. “Desecrate your shrine? Never. At least, not until I figure out how to remove that wall so I can I have a big room.”

My sister lay back on her pillow with her arms folded behind her head. “Your small room is good training, Logan. The dorms at Mizzou are even tinier, and you’ll have to share with someone. Are you still thinking of rooming with Jack?”

I didn’t answer. As I tried to think of a way to change the subject, I realized Laura had sat back up and was staring at me.

“Logan, you
are
still planning on going to college, right?”

It was funny. I could look my mother in the eyes and tell her the biggest whoppers and sound as sincere as a minister on Easter morning. But when my sister suspected I wasn’t telling her the truth … She’d realized Brenda and I had broken up long before Mom had even suspected.

“Yeah, I’m going. I guess.” I’d sent in the application the week before. According to Tim, I qualified for several grants and interest-free loans from Uncle Sam. All that was left was deciding that I really wanted to go.

Laura patted the bed, and I sat down next to her.

“Logan, I know how you feel. I grew up here, too. And it’s not easy to leave. But think about next year. You won’t
be at school for eight hours a day. Jack will be gone, and so will Tim. And me.”

“Twenty miles away. You’re practically on Mars.” Laura punched me in the arm. I think she assumed it didn’t hurt me. “Listen to me. Not a week goes by I don’t hear about some concert that I think you’d like, or meet some guys you’d get along with, or do something fun and wish you were there to enjoy it with me. You could work out in a real gym instead of a shed. Get a job where you get paid with a check instead of a handful of quarters. You always talk about taking guitar lessons; do you have any idea how many shitty guitarists there are on campus? You could have your own band in two weeks!”

I bit my lip to keep from grinning. Laura could probably make Greenland sound like Club Med if she wanted to. And I knew I’d end up bowing to the inevitable and going to Mizzou, at least to see what it was like. But there were other things going on.

Laura placed her hand on the back of my neck. I tensed until I realized she wasn’t about to put me in a wrestling hold. “You’re still thinking about Brenda, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. The main reason I wanted to go to MU was because she’d be there. And now it doesn’t matter.”

Laura was about to say something when we heard the door to the trailer open.

“Laura!” Mom called. “Laura, honey, where are you?” My sister smiled at me. “We’ll talk more later.” For the next few hours, we enjoyed an evening together, just like old times. Mom badgered Laura about her classes, her roommate, and her social life, while making the
final preparations for supper the next day. Laura sat at the dining room table grating carrots or preparing stuffing (there wasn’t room for two people in the kitchen). I didn’t bother to offer my help. The laws of chemistry didn’t seem to apply when I attempted to cook, and I knew I’d be stuck with most of the dishes the next day, anyway.

That evening, as the Thanksgiving ham slowly baked, we all sat on the couch, ate popcorn, and chatted. Mom kept dozing off, and eventually we hustled her off to bed.

“So how’s Mom doing?” asked Laura after Mom’s door closed.

“Okay, I guess. She’s working too hard. If I move out next year, I hope she’ll ask for fewer hours.”

Laura flicked a kernel at me. “You mean
when
you move out.”

“Gosh, I could live in a tiny room with Jack and see you all the time. Sounds great.”

We both laughed, then fell silent, lost in thought for a minute. Laura sifted through the duds in the bowl.

“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Laura eventually. She didn’t mean college. She meant Brenda. My sister was the only person who realized that my relationship with my girlfriend had been more to me than some stupid teenage crush. She was the only one who knew the true story of my breakup.

I shrugged. “I haven’t talked to Brenda in over a month. She’s moved on.”

“I really don’t give a shit about how she’s doing,” said Laura without pausing. “I want to know how you’re holding up.”

“Eh,” I grunted.

“That’s not an answer. That’s not even a word.” Laura scooted closer to me. She laid her bare feet on the coffee table. This was the sister I remembered.

“She’s gone and I survived. I hope she’ll be happy. I also hope her boyfriend will slip in the shower, fall face-first into the toilet, and drown. One or the other.”

Laura didn’t feed me any lines about getting back on the horse or looking to the future. She just gave me a one-armed hug.

“So you haven’t asked anyone out, I guess.”

“No.” I paused. “Well, once.”

“Really?” asked Laura with interest. “Who?” As a former Boyer Bear, she still knew everyone at school.

“New girl, no one you know. And she turned me down.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Then she’s stupid. But at least—”

I cut her off. “It wasn’t like that. There’s something going on with her parents. She says she’s not allowed to date. She’s been homeschooled since junior high.”

“Sounds like she has personal issues, and you’re probably better off. But now that—”

“It’s weird, though. Her younger sister can date, but she can’t. And her sister went to regular school.”

Laura was giving me a perplexed look. “Well, that’s her problem, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but … I dunno.”

Laura suddenly grinned. “So you
do
like her. What’s her name?”

I blushed a little. It’s not like I was ten years old; I
could admit to liking a girl. “Her name is Sage. She transferred to Boyer a couple of weeks ago.”

“What’s she like?”

“Weird. Dresses like she’s been in a paint factory accident. But she’s funny and cute and puts up with Jack and Tim. And sometimes she acts like she can’t keep her hands off me. But she freaked out when I tried to kiss her. And then she baked me cookies. She won’t tell me anything about her family, but she sneaked out to be with me twice. And it’s not like I couldn’t get a date with anyone else. It’s like …” I tried to figure out how to explain it.

Laura finished my thought. “Like as long as you think you might have a chance with Sage, then you aren’t interested in anyone else.”

I nodded. “If she’d just say she didn’t like me, I could deal with it. But there’s some other reason why we can’t go out. I don’t buy her line that it’s because of her parents. She’s nearly as sneaky as you were.”

My sister shrugged off the compliment. “I’m glad you’re dating again. For your own sake, and for the women of the world. Sounds like Sage just doesn’t trust people very easily. Give her some time. Either she’ll come around, or she’ll end up regretting it.” Laura picked up the popcorn bowl and walked the three steps to the kitchen. “I’m just glad you’re getting over a certain slut.”

Two weeks ago, I might have taken offense at Laura insulting Brenda like that. Now I just chuckled.

L
AURA STAYED
for two days before returning to Columbia, land of indoor plumbing and ’lectricity. That Saturday I helped her load her bags in the trunk. Mom was working the lunch shift, and I’d spent the day hanging out with my big sister. It was funny, but she hadn’t gotten together with any of her old friends while she was in town. Most of them were still around. I wondered if Laura was trying to forget about Boyer. I wondered if I would.

“Guess I’ll see you at Christmas,” I said. I was already starting to miss her.

“You know, you could come up and visit me some weekend. Have Jack drive you. I’ve got friends you could crash with.”

“Maybe. Um, thanks for talking with me the other night.”

Laura smiled. “My pleasure. Keep being nice to Sage.
Maybe she got used by some guy and wants to make sure you’re as great as you seem. But if it doesn’t work out, I know about ten girls in my dorm I can set you up with.”

Laura hugged me, then hopped in her car and took off. I suddenly felt desperately lonely. I wanted to talk to someone. But Jack was still out of town and Tim was probably in a food coma. I remembered how I’d talk to Brenda when I was sad.

Then I realized I was having false memory syndrome. I never talked to Brenda about my father. Or my fears about the future. In three years of dating, we’d only ever had one serious discussion. Our last one. Now that I thought back on it, Brenda had never once told me when she was sad or scared or lonely. Every time I asked, she’d just smile and say she was fine. And she’d never really wanted to know how I was doing.

I returned to the trailer and started to pick up some of the mess that Laura had left behind. I was making the bed in her old room when the phone rang.

“Logan? This is Sage.”

I grinned into the receiver. I didn’t know why she was calling, but I suddenly felt joyous. Even if she hung up after two minutes, it would still mean she’d been thinking about me.

“Hey, Sage.” For the first time in five years, my voice cracked.

“How was Turkey Day? Did you get a drumstick?”

I remembered the foil-wrapped ham slices in the fridge. “Uh, no.”

“So, what have you been up to? Watching football?”

“I did the other day.” I got to see my favorite team, the St. Louis Rams, have their collective ass handed to them.

I could hear Sage munching on something over the line. “Did anyone hit a home run?”

I snickered. “Sage, that’s baseball.”

“I know. I just wanted you to feel superior for a minute.”

“Oh.”

“So, are you doing anything? Mom and Tammi are shopping and Dad ran in to work. Feel like a picnic? I understand if you can’t come.”

I think I would have chewed my own leg off to go meet her.

“I’d like that.”

“Great. Meet me at the gas station in half an hour.” She didn’t say goodbye and hung up.

I don’t think Sage realized how far from “town” I lived. I had to haul ass on my bike to get there on time. I found Sage sitting on a curb reading a copy of the
Randolph County Recycler
, the free paper that advertised farm auctions and cattle for sale. She was wearing a fake-leather jacket studded with rhinestones.

She grinned when she saw me ride up. As soon as I parked my bike, she enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug.

“I missed you,” she said, still embracing me. Her arms wrapped completely around my back and her chin rested on top of my skull.

I didn’t answer. I figured if I said anything, she’d release me.

Eventually, she let me go. I contemplated kissing her cheek or gently touching the back of her neck. Something to bust me out of this impossible neutral situation I found myself in. But Sage had bent down and was picking something up off the ground.

“Here.” She handed me a large convenience store bag filled with plastic-wrapped sandwiches, mini bags of chips, and some bottled fruit juice.

“Now, where should we eat, Logan?”

I was rummaging through the bag. Sage had bought four different types of sandwiches, and I didn’t like any of them. But we’d known each other less than a month, after all. Why did I have such a hard time remembering that?

“We could go to the park.”

Sage pulled one of her curls, then let it boing back into place like a spring. “Uh, maybe we could go somewhere a little more … you know, isolated?”

That got my heart pounding until I realized she was referring to her dating ban. She didn’t want us to be seen eating together. Why? Brenda’s parents had liked me. When she’d gotten her license, they’d allowed us to go out alone together.

But Sage’s parents … She couldn’t even sit in a public park with me! What did they think would happen?

Mrs. Hendricks, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I just saw your daughter eating a ham and cheese sandwich with a boy. Right out on the playground, where anyone could see them! I don’t know how they do things in Joplin, but we have rules in this town
.

Well, at least Sage was willing to eat in secret with me, which was something. I remembered an isolated place
where Jack, Tim, and I used to set off fireworks. “There’s the old Arborville Road Cemetery. Are you up for a walk?”