Almost to Die For (23 page)

“But I’m going to be totally stoned on blood,” I pointed out, remembering how intoxicated that tiny taste of Thompson had made me. “What if I accidentally go too far?”

“You won’t,” he said. “It is my experience, my lady, that the hunt brings out the true nature of the demon it possesses.”

“So what about your hunt? Did you kill?”

He stared into my eyes a bit too long and a bit too intensely before he said, “I’m not you, Princess.”

I’m so not comforted by what you’re implying, I thought but didn’t dare voice. “Uh-huh,” was what I managed instead.

I managed not to shrink away when Elias came over and put a hand lightly on my shoulder. “I’m overdue,” he said, indicating the party below. “I will announce you in a few minutes, once everything is prepared. It’s going to be okay. I know you. You’re a good person. Trust yourself and your instincts and everything will be fine.”

“Okay,” I agreed hollowly.

He surprised me by leaning down and lightly kissing my lips tenderly. The affection was unmistakable, and my breath left my lungs in response. I blinked up at him, and he smoothed my hair away from my forehead.

“I’m looking forward to being under your spell,” he said. “I suspect your hunt will be like no other.”

“No pressure,” I joked weakly.

He continued to stroke my hair. “The court needs your influence, my princess. We’ve lost our . . . humanity. When you’re a full vampire, you will change us, become a part of our consciousness. You’re exactly what we need.”

He kissed me again, still chastely, but with so much emotion, it brought a blush to my cheek.

“Uh, thanks,” I murmured.

He released my hair, and stepped away. I felt his absence physically, as the cold air seemed to rush in place of his heat. He waved a quick good-bye before hurrying to join his prince and his people.

Lamely, I lifted a few fingers in a farewell. He turned around to give me a reassuring smile, but it didn’t work. The night felt oppressively dark. I clung to the scrawny trunk of a scrub tree. Through the tangle of branches, the vampire ball glittered. When it occurred to me that they were literally “dressed to kill,” a bubble of hysterical laughter almost surfaced in my throat.

At that moment, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I wasn’t nearly as awesome as Elias seemed to think I was. And I couldn’t take the risk. What if I couldn’t stop? What if the bloodlust was too much for me to handle? I couldn’t be responsible for someone’s death, volunteer or not. I really wouldn’t be human anymore if that happened.

How could I be?

How could I even live with myself?

Something seemed to change below. The party quieted expectantly. My heart thudded in my chest. I had to get out of there, fast.

And then, before Elias could come for me, I turned and headed for home.

 

 

WAS IT TOO MUCH TO ask after that bizarre scene for Mom to be sound asleep on the couch, snuggled under the green fuzzy blanket with a book propped up on her knees and her glasses pushed up into her curls?

I hesitantly peeped in that direction. Could it be true? A snore confirmed it! Fate finally smiled on me.

As quietly as I could, I shut the door and set my backpack down. I slipped off my shoes and slid on stocking feet to the stairs.

The ancient floorboards betrayed me. The first step creaked and moaned.

“Ana?”

“Mom. Hey. I thought you were asleep.”

Mom checked her watch. “It’s after midnight.”

“And I’m back from the ball!” I tried to make a Cinderella joke, but Mom was unimpressed.

Her frown deepened, and she put her glasses on straight. Standing up, she started methodically folding the blanket. Never a good sign, by the way. “We need to finally have that talk,” she said. “About your father and about vampires.”

Mom made hot chocolate, and we took our customary spots around the dining room table. I wanted to point out that this was the very scene of the debacle that was the whole “birds and bees” discussion, but I kept my mouth shut. I really wanted to hear what Mom had to say about vampires.

She folded and unfolded her hands and seemed to be trying out different openers in her mind. Finally, she said, “I married your father to end a war.”

The hot cocoa in my mouth nearly ended up all over my shirt. “You were married?”

“Technically, we still are. It’s, um, that you needed to be legitimate in every way. We were handfasted and married in a . . . in the manner of your father’s people.”

“What was that like? ” I mean, I couldn’t picture it. Did Mom actually go down into their underground cavern? Or did they stand naked in a park? She never wore a ring. What did vampires exchange for vows?

Mom actually smiled a bit at the memory. “It was . . . unique.”

“Are there pictures?”

“No, thank the Goddess,” she said, taking a sip from her University of Minnesota mug. “I was young and at the time I thought the treaty would really work. I truly believed there was more in common with our races than not. And your father . . . he was so handsome, so noble.”

I nodded. “Noble” was a good word to describe the vampires I’d met so far. Except for the whole killing people as part of the hunting ritual, that is. My stomach twisted at the thought.

Mom watched me carefully. She shook her head. “They’re not, Ana. They’re demons direct from hell.”

“I thought they were older than all that.”

Mom’s eyebrow arched. “I see you’ve been talking to them.” I didn’t respond to that accusation one way or the other. Eventually, she continued. “It’s true, but consider this important fact. All the stories of devils and demons are based on our friends out there. They’re full of darkness and evil, and they will corrupt you.”

Okay, now my mother had been replaced by some wacko fundamentalist. “Corrupt me? Are you being serious?”

“Yes,” she said. Her hands roamed over the coffee cup, as if searching for some answer there. Her eyes darted up to mine. “But you’ll be okay if you never taste blood. Stay away from their blood rituals, and you’ll be fine.”

Oh, boy.

Now this was officially worse than the “birds and bees” talk. At least with that one I could honestly say that I hadn’t gone there yet.

But I’d tasted blood.

Not just tasted it either. I hungered for it. Just the thought of it now made my knees wobble and my heart pound. Even as my guts lurched at the thought of the hunt I’d just avoided, I still craved blood.

Mom didn’t seem to notice my reaction.

“This is why the Initiation is so critical, you see. The temptation to drink blood drops exponentially when you’re bound to the coven.” Now her hands groped the air, drawing frantic pictures. “You see, the Initiation has the potential to destroy the desire entirely. It has something to do with the burden being shared by the group. But that’s why I don’t want you anywhere near vampires until you get another chance at it. I know you can pass if you get another chance. There was that puff of wind when all the candles blew out just as you called east. Are you sure that wasn’t you, honey?”

I shook my head distractedly.

I should tell her about Thompson, shouldn’t I? I mean, I had kind of mentioned it on the phone at the bowling alley, but she must not have gotten what I meant. She probably thought I was kidding around. Or maybe she didn’t hear me.

“It was a strong coincidence, then. Are you absolutely positive? Maybe you can’t feel your own magic working.”

“What would happen to me if I tasted blood?”

“You don’t want to know. Besides, the important thing is that you aren’t going to, are you?”

“Uh. Maybe you should tell me what happens if I do.”

“Why?”

“Remember the accident at gym? There was blood.”

“You said you weren’t hurt.” Mom looked confused, but her face tightened as the truth dawned. “You . . . what happened exactly?”

“That part I don’t really know, but all of a sudden I had my lips on Thompson’s nose and I kind of . . . no, I
totally
licked him.”

Mom’s mouth hung open for a moment. Then she started sputtering, like an engine that couldn’t catch. Finally, she stopped and took a deep breath to start over. I could feel her calming herself, magical roots tapping the earth for steadfast strength. Finally, she said, “It might still be okay. There are rules for first blood. It has to be won in combat or taken from a sworn enemy.”

“Check and check,” I said. “Plus, Elias said it woke him up. It woke everybody up. Ramses is out there planning for my debut right now.”

Mom’s anger was explosive. There was a tiny bit of magic in it, and I felt the force of her power shove my chair back an inch or two.

“I will not allow it!”

It might have been my imagination, but I swear tiny lightning bolts crackled along the curls of Mom’s hair. The power welling up in her, however, was hard to ignore. The whole house shook.

I stood up and held up my hands, as though in surrender. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, Mom. Really.” I just kept repeating that everything was going to be okay, because that was supposed to help calm people down, wasn’t it?

The edges of Mom’s clothes began to flap. A strong wind twisted around her. I felt it pull and tug at my hair. There was heat too, as if the furnace had kicked into double time.

I found myself scanning for the exit.

“No daughter of mine will be a bloodsucker,” she announced.

She didn’t seem to be talking to me anymore, but I replied anyway. “I’m really sorry about Thompson. Believe me. It was an accident.”

The floor shifted beneath my feet. I fell into the wall. Books crashed from the shelves onto the rug.

Mom was having some kind of magical meltdown, and it was totally focused on me.

I had to get out.

“Hey!” I said, pointing out the window at the mulberry bushes. “Isn’t that Dad?”

Mom’s head swiveled like the scene in
The Exorcist
or that giant flaming eyeball in Mordor. For a brief moment, all her attention—and her power—shifted toward the window.

I dashed for the door.

I never made it. Magic slapped me hard in the back and I fell. Down, down, down into a spiraling darkness and oblivion.

T
he alarm woke me at seven. I blinked the sleep from my eyes and sat up slowly. Mom had tucked Berry Bear next to my pillow. I stared at his golden glass eyes and frowned.

It took me twenty minutes to decide what to wear. Every time I picked something out, a part of my brain would reject it as too trashy. When did all my clothes start to look so revealing? In the end, I put on a simple black turtleneck and my sparkly spiderweb jeans.

Mom was making pancakes when I got downstairs. She was singing the circle song, and my frown deepened. A dream image skittered through my brain of dark woodland creatures and fangs.

“You look nice,” Mom said, heaping a pile of pancakes onto a plate in front of my usual spot at the dining room table.

My stomach soured. I couldn’t bring myself to sit down for some reason. I just wanted to get out and get going. “Uh, I’ll grab something at the coffee shop,” I said. “I don’t want to be late.”

She chewed her lip. Her eyes followed me anxiously to the door. “Well,” she said. “Have a nice day.”

It felt good to put my backpack over my shoulder and hear the door shut behind me. The air was chilly with the promise of autumn. The scent of fallen leaves woke up my sleeping senses.

Something was wrong.

I shook my head and stepped out into the yard. The juniper looked ragged and a pile of brownish needles lay scattered on the grass. I should rake, I thought.

Out past the gate and down the street. The neighborhood was going through its morning stretches. School buses rattled and screeched down the cobblestone streets. People carrying travel mugs of coffee stumbled to their cars, giving me a brief notice or a little wave. I smiled and hummed a little as I made my way to the coffee shop.

The lights were dim and the interior of the coffeehouse was moist and warm. As the door closed behind me, I was reminded of stepping into a dank underground cave.

I stopped as if slapped.

Suddenly, I was aware of Mom’s spell covering me like layers of cobwebs.

I had no magic of my own to counteract Mom’s snare, so all I could do was notice how perfectly it held me. The line of people inched closer to the cashier. I took the opportunity to study the spell. It was well crafted and heavy, like I was shrouded in a silvery fishing net. This was the sort of thing that took time and skill. She must have woven it after knocking me out.

The effect of the spell was that I felt sluggish and subdued. At least, I assumed that was part of the spell, and not a lack of my first dose of mocha. I had a sense that resistance was futile. Like I had a bout of depression, I just wanted to lie down and let the world pass me by. Barring that, I’d go through the motions like a robot.