Authors: Aubrey Rose
“Okay,” Julia said softly. She reached in and turned on the bathroom light. She was still unsettled, but then they were in the bathroom and Damien was wrapping his arms around her from behind and pressing his lips to the nape of her neck. Her worries evaporated as electric shivers branched from the back of her neck all through her body. She rubbed her ass against him, feeling him harden behind her. He slid his hand up under her shirt and cupped her breast while her other hand undid her zipper.
She turned around and started unbuttoning his flannel shirt, peeling the shirt off even as she popped the buttons, her eyes soaking in his body. His muscles bulged tightly against his skin. His body was so hard, hard everywhere. Finally she pulled the shirt all the way off—
And she paused.
There were little brownish-red streaks all over his arms. More dried blood.
“What’s wrong?” Damien asked.
She ran her fingers lightly down his forearm. “Why are you all scratched up?”
He stiffened. Hesitated. The reaction was brief and subtle, barely perceptible, but she could read him well, and she was confident that his voice was not natural when he spoke.
“Huh…I didn’t know I was scratched up.”
A sinking feeling ran through her. He
was
hiding something.
“You didn’t get that scrape on your head from the construction site, did you?” she asked.
His lips parted and he hesitated. Then his shoulders sagged.
“I just side-swiped a tree trunk. It wasn’t a fight or anything.”
An angry, panicky feeling sprang up in her. He’d lied to her. Why had he lied?
“Why did you side-swipe a tree trunk?” she asked.
“Well, I didn’t do it intentionally,” he said, trying his luck with a half-grin.
Julia did not smile back. “You were running through the woods.”
“Yes.”
“Why? What happened in the woods, Damien?”
“Nothing. I thought I sensed something but I was just imagining it.”
Julia’s heart was thumping now. “What did you sense?”
“I didn’t sense anything—”
“What did you
think
you sensed?”
“I don’t know. A shifter, maybe. But—”
“How do you know you were imagining it?”
“Because Jordan and Kyle were both with me and they didn’t sense anything. We went into the woods and there was nothing.”
Julia’s fear was ebbing a bit, allowing her anger to swell in its place.
“You lied to me, Damien.”
“
This
is exactly why I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want you worrying over nothing.
Nothing
happened.”
“If it was nothing, why are you suddenly telling me to stay out of the woods?”
“It’s just—”
“Do you think you actually sensed something out there?”
“No…but I can’t be sure.”
“So what else haven’t you been telling me?”
Damien’s face hardened. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what? It’s a completely legitimate concern. You tell me Dee’s wrong and everything’s fine and then you hide something like this from me? How am I supposed to feel right now? How am I supposed to believe we’re really safe?”
“What the hell do you think I’m trying to do here, Julia? You think I’m lying to you to try to keep you in danger? What do
you
think we should do?”
Julia had not been ready for that question. The fact that she found herself at a loss only stoked her anger. “I—I don’t know,” she said.
“Well neither do I,” Damien snapped. “Is that what you want to hear from me?
I don’t know
. I do think we’re safe here, I think we’re better off staying here than moving, but I don’t
know
. And until we do know for sure, I think we should err on the side of safety. I’m trying to keep everyone safe and happy and I’m doing my best. If you have any ideas, by all means, share them.”
“You should have told me,” Julia said coldly.
Damien said nothing, and Julia pulled her clothes back on quickly, waiting for him to say something, anything. All she got was a coldness, their connection strained with anger.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll stay out of the forest.”
Damien opened his mouth to speak but she stalked away angrily, closing the bedroom door behind her harder than she should have.
She knew she was being unreasonable. Damien didn’t have a crystal ball any more than she or anyone else did. But she
wanted
him to have the answers. Maybe it was the maternal hormones talking, but shouldn’t her mate be able to protect her? And if he had any doubts as to her safety, he should do whatever he had to remove those doubts.
Yes, surely that was the hormones talking.
But she did have a right to be angry at him for withholding what had happened in the woods today. For
lying
to her. It didn’t appease her at all that the reason he’d lied had been to keep her from worrying. She was not a child, and Damien was not her father. How could she trust him now when he told her they were safe? How did she know he wasn’t distorting the truth?
She could sense Mara in the kitchen and Dee somewhere upstairs. They’d probably heard her fighting with Damien, the thought of which irritated her. Their presences crowded her mind. She needed to be alone.
She went outside, thinking up cutting retorts she’d wished she’d thought of during the argument. She was almost to the tree-line when she stopped walking with a bitter little laugh. Over the past few weeks, she’d developed a habit of going out into the woods whenever she wanted to be alone, so she’d been heading for the forest just now without even thinking about the fact that the forest had been at the center of her and Damien’s fight; she’d agreed not to go out there anymore.
So now she couldn’t even have her privacy.
Then again, Damien’s whole justification for not telling her about his scare in the woods today was that nothing had actually happened; he’d insisted that avoiding the woods was just an extra precaution. So it shouldn’t hurt to disregard that precaution once in a while. Especially if she stuck to the trails.
With a thrill of defiance, she walked into the forest.
The brisk night air and the soft, rhythmic humming and chirping of insects allayed her anger. She’d always found trees soothing as well—just the fact that they stood there so impassively and seemingly eternally, like ancient wisemen who knew better than to let little things trouble them.
A rustle of leaves stopped her floating thoughts. Julia spun around, her heart jammed in her throat.
Damien might have been wrong to withhold things from her, but he was right that she should stay around other people whenever possible. All at once she felt foolish for coming out here alone. No, worse than foolish—selfish. Because she
wasn’t
alone. The twins were with her.
Had she heard something back there? A crackling of branches?
She strained her ears as her eyes frantically combed the underbrush. The shadows of the forest suddenly seemed deeper. Every bush became a hunched predator primed to lunge. Her heart thudded in her skull like a suspenseful drumbeat in a movie trailer.
Well, sure, she probably had heard something. There were plenty of animals out here, plenty of small, harmless creatures; her passing through had probably unsettled a rabbit or—
She heard it again.
And again, and again. Soft rustles.
Just as she realized she was hearing footfalls, a figure melted into focus out of the shadows. Walking straight toward her.
Julia opened her mouth to scream and was planting her foot to bolt when the voice called out.
“Julia? It’s Mara.”
Julia let out her breath in a burst and her body slumped with relief. Then she could sense it—Mara’s scent, familiar and comfortable. She must have been downwind.
“Lord, Mara, you scared the hell out of me. Do you always walk so stealthily?”
“Sorry. It’s a good habit to have, usually.”
“Did Damien tell you to look after me?” Julia asked, tasting the dregs of anger again.
“
Everybody
is looking after you. We’re all in this pack together.” Mara shrugged. “I just didn’t think you should be alone in the forest at night.”
Of course. Now Julia felt bad for questioning her motives.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’ll come back with you.”
“Actually, I’d love to take a walk, if you want to keep going.”
“Sure.” Julia smiled.
“There’s a stream not too far from here. It’s really pretty when the moonlight hits it right.”
So they continued walking. With Mara by her side, Julia thought that the forest once more seemed serene and beautiful. The moonlight cast dappled silver puddles over the ground and every now and then an owl hooted in the branches.
“How are the babies?” Mara asked.
“They’re good. As far as I know. Jordan says everything looks good so far. ”
“Can you…feel them in there?”
“I can sense their presences, but they’re too small for me to physically feel them yet.”
Julia noticed that Mara had a funny little grimace on her face, as if there was something she couldn’t puzzle out.
“What?” Julia said with a laugh.
“Oh, sorry. I was just trying to imagine what it’s going to feel like. When they get bigger.” She shook her head a little. “Pregnancy has always seemed very strange to me. I don’t think I’m meant to be a mother.”
“Pregnancy
is
strange when you really think about it,” Julia said. “I don’t think that means anything about whether you’re meant to be a mother.”
“I don’t know. It just seems like most females I know, they want babies without any doubt at all. Having kids is this huge deal—it’s the biggest change you could ever make in your life—and people treat it like it’s not even a decision, it’s just a matter of when and with whom. I
think
I want kids but at the same time it scares the hell out of me. No one else seems to feel that way. ”
“I think it’s supposed to scare you. In fact, if you truly weren’t scared at all,
then
I might wonder if you’re fit to be a mother. I’d wonder if you understood how big of a responsibility it is, you know?”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right,” Mara said. “Good thing I’m scared as hell!” She chuckled.
“Finding the right mate also changes how you feel about having kids.”
“That’s true,” Mara said musingly. “I was Called once. We weren’t together long enough to talk about babies, but I’m pretty sure I would have.”
Something about the way she mentioned this former mate made Julia think that the relationship had ended badly. Julia’s first instinct was to change the subject, but Mara had been talking quite candidly.
“What happened to your mate?” Julia asked.
“He died,” Mara said. Her tone was matter-of-fact, but Julia thought she could sense the bitter pang behind her words.
“Who was he?”
“He was a member of Trax’s pack. Antonio.” Mara was silent for a time, remembering. “He was ambitious. I liked that, a lot. You know how when you’re a kid, you feel like you can be anything and have anything when you grow up? But for most people, when they get older, that ambition just levels out. Most people are content with…being content, you know what I mean? Antonio always wanted more. He didn’t want to only be another shifter. He wanted to be
great
.” Mara’s eyes flashed with moonlight as she looked upwards toward the sky.
“But he was small. Strong, for his size, but small. He thought Trax was a bad leader…so one day, he challenged him.”
Mara said no more, and Julia put two and two together.
“I’m sorry,” Julia said.
Mara nodded her thanks.
The sound of gurgling water was rising up ahead. The woods opened up and there was the stream, sliding languidly over a bed of smooth rocks. The moon was directly overhead and it gave the water an ethereal shine.
“It’s beautiful,” Julia said.
“Yeah,” Mara said, but Julia could tell her thoughts were elsewhere.
After a while, Mara asked, “Do you believe that Damien was meant for you?”
Julia thought about that for some time. “I do believe Damien is the one—I know he’s the one—but I think that if my life had been different, I would have found a different one. Maybe that means ‘one’ isn’t the right word.”
“No, I know what you mean. I
feel
like Antonio was the only one because I’m never going to meet anyone exactly like him and that means I can never be in love with anyone in exactly the same way. But that’s okay. I can fall in love again and it can be totally different and still just as good. That’s what I try to tell myself, anyway.”
“I’m sure you’re right. You’ll fall in love again.” Julia’s heart swelled in her chest when she looked at Mara, so beautiful and young.
“Thanks,” Mara said. “I’m really not looking, though.”
“Really?”
“Well, I mean, I’m not opposed to finding a mate, but I don’t really believe in looking. I’ve never understood how some people—most people, it seems like—always want to be in a relationship. Like, even when there’s not a particular person they’re interested in, they just hate being single. I
love
being single. When you’re single, you’re
free
. You can just do whatever you want and you don’t really have to worry about anyone but yourself. When I met Antonio—he made me
not
want to be single for the first time in my life, and that’s how I knew he was the one. So until I find someone else who can make me want to be in a relationship…I’ll just continue not wanting to be in a relationship. I guess it works out pretty nicely.” Mara paused thoughtfully. “You know, I’ve heard people say you should, like, keep your heart wide open. Let yourself fall in love freely. I kind of think you should do the exact opposite. Put up walls around your heart. Guard it. And if someone can break through those defenses…that’s how you know.” She paused again.
“Or no one will break through and I’ll die alone.” Mara laughed. She seemed genuinely amused, which surprised Julia. That notion would have terrified her. “Don’t worry, I hope you don’t have to go through any of what I went through.”