Always Neverland (15 page)

Chapter 25.
Peter Acts Like an Emperor

O
nce the leaves closed behind us, I hugged Kyle tightly. “I was so
worried
about you.”

“
Ashley
, I'm not a kid,” Kyle complained, with the same fierce expression he used every time someone called him little, but I could tell he liked the attention.

In the woods, Pounce and the Lost Boys clapped each other on the back, smiling widely as Kyle and I arrived. Everyone except Peter, who narrowed his eyes when he saw me.

“Thanks, Pounce,” Kyle said.

Pounce grinned. “Someone had to do something about my mad sister. But you should not linger. The woods are unsafe. Pirates still search for Hook's hat.”

Dibs grabbed the brim with both hands protectively.

“Are
you
going to be okay?” Button asked Pounce. “Tiger Lily—”

“The others won't listen to her for a while,” Pounce said with a shrug before speeding off through the trees,
away
from the Cubs' camp. (I had the feeling he didn't want to face his sister until after she cooled off a little.) Running, he turned back once and waved good-bye.

Now that the adventure was over, the Lost Boys started to celebrate, whooping loudly.

Peter didn't join them. He just took off wordlessly, flying toward the Tree Home. I rushed to catch up.

“We saved him!” I told Peter, hoping that he would crow.

He ignored me. He'd never ignored me before. Called me stupid, yes. Threatened to take me home, several times. But not this.

It didn't make sense. A few hours earlier, he'd been treating me like a friend—an equal. He hadn't even gotten mad at me for sneaking into his house.

The Lost Boys hadn't noticed Peter's bad mood. Flying behind me, Kyle was teaching the rest of them all the Christmas carols he remembered. Dibs kept getting the lyrics wrong, singing “Rudolph, the Rough-nosed Reindeer.”

“Peter, what's wrong?” I asked, but he still didn't say anything. “Peter?”

He wouldn't even look at me.

It had to be what Tiger Lily said.

I
knew
it wasn't true. Even the idea that I could be the Lost Boys' leader seemed ridiculous. I mean, Peter was a legend. I was just a visitor.

But I didn't know how to tell Peter without upsetting him more.

When we came to the clearing with the Tree Home, he didn't even land with us. He stood in the air, his fists on his hips, his back to me.

He wasn't being fair, but I didn't know how to make him feel better.

“Okay, Lost Boys,” I said, pretending to be cheerful. “Time to finish decorating!”

Kyle stopped singing “O Christmas Tree” in midnote. “I never got a starfish from the mermaids,” he said, looking worried. “Not even a sand dollar.”

“You are
not
going back,” I said sharply, the thought filling me with horror. “Not with a crazy princess on the loose.”

“She was after you, Ashley,” Dibs said. “She'll get over it.”

“Maybe we could
make
a star for the top of the tree,” Button suggested.

“But I
wanted
to see the mermaids,” Kyle said sadly.

“Well, maybe we'll go visit them later,” I said doubtfully. “But if we do, nobody goes out alone. And we need to figure out a way to signal each other if we run into tr—”

“Stop!” Peter shouted fiercely.

We all looked up at him in surprise. His gaze met mine immediately, and when I realized he was talking to me, I held very still, afraid of him for the first time.

“I don't want to decorate the Christmas tree,” Peter announced.

“Okay,” I said cautiously.

All the Lost Boys drooped their shoulders a little bit, disappointed.

Peter didn't notice. He twirled his golden sword with an expert flourish. “It is time for a splendid adventure.”

I frowned. It wasn't a
good
time. It didn't look like Kyle had recovered from the last adventure, and the sun would set in a couple of hours. But Peter was in no mood for an argument.

“Fine, just let me get my sword,” I said, flying up to the trunk of the Tree Home to Kyle's hiding place where I'd left it. “What kind of warrior would I be if—”

“No,” Peter said. He said it quietly, but he sounded so angry and so triumphant at the same time that I turned to stare at him. “You're staying here,” he told me. “You all are. I will go alone.”

The Lost Boys exchanged small smiles, looking relieved. Only Kyle noticed how upset I was.

“You're going on an adventure without me?” My voice only wobbled a little bit.

“Of course I am,” Peter said in his lofty way. “Girls don't go on adventures. Especially not Wendy girls.”

Peter gave me that shrewd judging look. I hadn't seen it since the Never birds chased off the pirates. It was like the past few days had never happened. Like he didn't know me anymore. Like I was just a random Wendy girl, someone he wouldn't have brought to Neverland if Kyle hadn't nagged him. I pressed my lips together tight, determined to keep them from trembling.

Then I clenched both fists and said, “What do you think we've been doing then?”

Peter strolled closer, walking over the empty air carelessly. “You should give me something,” he said with his smug, dangerous smile. “You know, like a queen gives her emperor. Like a tribute.”

“Uh-oh,” Kyle said in a low voice.

Pan was just pulling rank—proving who was in charge—and we all knew it.

The Lost Boys froze, watching us wide-eyed.

Peter pointed at my golden coat. “I want that, Wendy girl.”

It was so unfair. What Tiger Lily had said wasn't my fault.

I yanked the coat off and threw it. Peter caught it one-handed. The heavy material hit his palm with a slap.

He shrugged the coat on. It fit perfectly. He looked wonderful, and he knew it.

It made me even madder to see how much he was enjoying himself. When he turned to go, I couldn't stop myself from saying, “What? You don't want the crown, too?”

Peter turned back, and I knew he hadn't thought of it. I knew what he was going to say before he spoke.

“Of course,” he said, raising his chin in his new majestic way.

So I went to the trunk, to Kyle's hiding place. My crown glinted in the crevice right behind my sword. I yanked it out so quickly that I scraped some of the bark off the tree.

When I presented it to Peter with a sarcastic flourish, he only pointed to his head with that irritating smile. I placed it on his head, taking care to use as much force as possible, but he didn't even flinch.

“I'll never forgive you, Peter Pan,” I whispered, humiliated.

Kyle murmured something, and Dibs hushed him worriedly.

Peter only shrugged. “I don't care. It's not like you're staying. Remember?”

Then he turned and flew away, disappearing into the trees.

Chapter 26.
I Almost Don't Get a Christmas Present

“D
on't worry,” Dibs said. “He goes off on adventures by himself all the time. It's not personal.”

I sent Dibs a hard look. Of course it was personal.

Dibs looked at the ground, shuffling his feet. “He would've done it to any of us,” he said softly, and I realized that Dibs had been trying to comfort me.

“Maybe I'll just go
home
,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest and imagining Peter's face when he realized I was gone.

“No,”
said Kyle, Button, Prank, and even Dibs, so forcefully that I felt a little better.

“You can't leave before
Christmas
,” Kyle added.

I didn't have the heart to tell them that I had to leave before the real Christmas started.

By the time we finished decorating the Christmas tree, it was so dark that Button built a fire just beyond the tree. Prank had produced some blue crystals that looked suspiciously like sapphires. They winked and sparkled in the firelight like real Christmas lights.

While we stood admiring our handiwork, Dibs came out from behind the Tree Home holding something silvery in his hands. They were ribbons.

“Where did you get
those
?” Prank said with a snort.

Dibs placed one on the tree carefully. “I think they were my mother's,” he said in a low voice.

Even Prank couldn't tease him after that. “I'll go, uh, get us some dinner from the grove.”

“Me, too,” Kyle said, and I had the feeling that he was hoping to run into Pounce there. Button followed them wordlessly.

Since no one else was around, I flew over to help Dibs. He was standing on the ground, but I wasn't sure if that was because he had lost his happy thought or because he'd decided the lower branches on the Christmas tree needed more decorations.

“You said your mom left, right?” Dibs said, giving me a long, measuring look that reminded me of Peter. “But she's coming back, isn't she?”

I frowned, not sure where this was going. “Yeah.”

Dibs looked down at the ribbons draped over his arm. “You're lucky. I miss mine every day.”

I missed mine, too. Suddenly, I wanted very much to be home.

“Do you remember her?” I asked, taking a silver ribbon and flying up to hang it carefully on a branch. “Your mother, I mean.”

“A little,” Dibs said softly. “Prank has forgotten his mom completely, and Kyle is forgetting his. I think that's why they love Neverland so much.”

Sadness filled me slowly, and I started to fall, the happy thought of Christmas draining away. I landed on the ground next to him, and Dibs took a shaky breath. If I missed my mom even though I knew I'd see her again soon, Dibs
had
to miss his so much more. No wonder he was hoping for a temporary replacement.

He rubbed his face with his fists, and when he looked up at me, I couldn't help but notice that the skin under his eyes was wet.

I put my hand on his shoulder. I had thought it many times before, but it was much,
much
harder to say out loud. “I'm sorry I can't be your mother, Dibs.”

“It's not easy for us, you know,” he said with an embarrassed sort of grin. “As soon as we get used to a Wendy girl, she has to leave again.”

I swallowed hard. I had always thought Dibs was just mad at me. But maybe he refused to like me because he was afraid to miss me when I had to go home.

He turned back to the Christmas tree and lay another ribbon on a branch. “Even Peter is different since you came.”

I snorted, disbelieving.

Dibs scowled. “It's
true.
Maybe he's been in Neverland too long, but he didn't even feel like having adventures. The only time he ever perked up was when he was fighting Hook.”

I remember how bored Peter had seemed when we first arrived in Neverland, and I knew Dibs was right. I didn't say so, though. It seemed like an awful thing to say out loud.

“I hope Peter doesn't go back to the way he was after you go home,” Dibs said with a sigh. “But maybe he can't. You kind of made some big changes around here. Tiger Lily and her tribe really aren't our allies anymore, but, I mean, we're friends with the mermaids. That'll give us some fresh adventures.”

I didn't want that to be true. The Grove of Food Trees flashed in my mind—the way the Cubs and the Lost Boys sat side by side. I didn't want to be the person who ruined their friendship forever. “I'm sure that it won't last. You said yourself, Tiger Lily will get over it.”

“Don't worry, Wendy girl,” Dibs said with a trace of his usual scorn. “
You
won't have to deal with it.
You're
going home. Peter knows that too.”

Suddenly, what Peter said before he left made a lot more sense.

I looked away, jaws clenched. I didn't want to forgive Pan just yet.

I had thought of several ways to get back at him.

One was leaving Neverland despite the Lost Boys' protests. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to get back, and the Milky Way isn't really the best place to wander around, lost.

I also considered flying off after Peter and joining his adventure, just to show him he couldn't boss me around, but I didn't want to leave the Lost Boys, especially when Kyle was still a little shaken up.

Or
we could start Christmas without him.

“Hey, Dibs—I planted a new food tree over there this morning,” I said, pointing. “Would you mind checking to see if it grew? Please? You can have first pick.”

Instead of arguing with me like I thought he might, Dibs just sighed deeply and went.

When he disappeared behind the leaves, I waited, knowing what he would find.

“Candy canes! Gingerbread men! Chocolate!” Dibs cried, and he was so delighted that he crowed, exactly like Peter.

I grinned, glad
someone
was cheered up.

By the time the other Lost Boys got back, Dibs and I had stripped all the Christmas treats from the new food tree. I let the Lost Boys eat the sweets and cookies instead of the chicken tenders they'd gathered at the grove.

Peter still hadn't come back.

Watching Button devour his fourth gingerbread man in a row, I announced, “It's time to open presents.”

“Really?” Kyle and Prank said together. Kyle had chocolate around his mouth.

“I thought Christmas was supposed to be tomorrow,” Button said doubtfully.

“That makes this Christmas Eve,” I said. “Plenty of families open presents on Christmas Eve.”

“But there aren't any presents under the tree yet,” Prank said, looking under it with a suspicious expression. “Doesn't Santa come at night?”

“I have some presents,” I said, flying up the Tree Home to retrieve my backpack. Button had helped me finish Peter's present too, but I was actually leaning toward
not
giving it to Peter and keeping it instead. Under the circumstances, I didn't feel too bad about that. “Okay, everyone—close your eyes.”

They did, and I flew around, passing out leaf-wrapped packages.

“Maybe we should wait. Peter was really looking forward to this game,” Dibs said cautiously, but when I pushed a gift toward him, his hands closed around it.

Personally, I thought that if Peter was going to go on adventures by himself, then it was definitely all right to play all the best games
without him
.

I clasped my hands in my lap, trying to contain my excitement. “Okay, you can open your eyes now.”

The leaves I had used to wrap the presents were on the ground in less than a second. Button examined his present, pulling out colored markers and examining them in the light of the fire.

“It's an art kit,” I told him. I leaned forward and whispered, “So that the next time you draw stuff for your staircase, it won't wash away in the rain.”

Button looked up at me. He didn't say anything, but he practically glowed with happiness.

“I got a book,” said Dibs, sounding disappointed.

“It's about Peter,” I said, pointing to the title on the spine. I figured that Dibs would want it the most. “I can read it to you later, if you want.”

Dibs pretended not to hear, turning to Prank. “What did you get?”

“These weird colored loops,” Prank said, squinting at them in the dark. “They're floppy.”

“They're rubber bands,” I explained. I took one from him, held out my thumb and index finger like a gun, and attached the rubber band to them. I took aim at the Christmas tree and then bent my thumb, sending the band off into the branches. “See?”

Smirking, Prank retrieved the rubber band that I had used to demonstrate, and he stuck it in his pocket like it was something precious. “I think I'll be able to find a use for it.”

“Don't aim at any mermaids,” I told him sternly, and he deflated slightly.

“Look! Look what I got!” Kyle shouted, holding his present up high.

I smiled. I was particularly proud of Kyle's present. I had found it on the playground at school a few weeks ago, and I had never taken it out of my backpack, not even when I packed for Neverland.

“What is it?” Button asked.

“It's a car,” Kyle said triumphantly.

“What's a car?” Prank asked.

“You drive it places,” said Kyle. “Sometimes you can get up to a million miles per hour.”

“Not
that
fast,” I said, half smiling.

“It's too little to do all that,” Prank said doubtfully.

“Maybe it gets bigger,” Dibs said.

“Big enough so that you can get inside?” said Prank.

“No,” I said, hunching my shoulders forward. This wasn't going the way I'd planned. They weren't exactly showing the proper Christmas spirit. “It's just a toy.”

“A toy,” repeated Dibs, Prank, and Button dreamily. I hadn't realized how popular a real toy would be in Neverland. Kyle used both hands to cover his present protectively.

“Let me have it,” Dibs said, making a grab for it.

“No, it's mine.” Kyle drew back and curled over his new toy.

Prank loomed over Kyle too. “Come on. I'll trade you.”

“Cut it out, Lost Boys,” I snapped. “To give is better than to receive.”

That stopped the fight. They stared at me.

“
Why?
” asked Dibs in a way that made me suspect that he had never heard anything that sounded so silly.

“I don't know,” I said, suddenly uncomfortable. “My parents and teachers say it.”

The Lost Boys exchanged looks, starting to grin. “Look who's turned into a mother on us,” said Prank, and I didn't say anything, not sure how to argue. It
did
sound like something Mom would say.

“She's not really a mother,” Button said thoughtfully. “More like a big sister.”

“Like Peter's kind of like our brother?” Prank said.

“I always wanted a sister,” Kyle said.

Dibs, Prank, and Button agreed.

I felt myself starting to Pretend even before I decided to do it. I was Ashley, Wendy girl as no Wendy girl had been before, big sister to all Lost Boys, their protector and playmate.

My toes and fingers tingled, but besides that, I didn't really feel any different.

Maybe—well, maybe I had
already
been acting like their sister.

“Nobody's given Ashley anything,” Kyle pointed out quietly.

All the Lost Boys exchanged guilty looks, and I realized that none of them had thought of it.

“It's okay,” I said, smiling sheepishly. I meant it. “Being your sister's a pretty good present.”

“Peter put something under the tree this morning,” Dibs said slowly.

“I bet it's for Ashley,” Button said.

“I'll get it!” Prank dashed forward.

Kyle raced him and won, placing the present in my lap as proudly as he would've been if he had picked it out himself. It was wrapped in a piece of blue cloth, and I unwound it slowly, already beginning to feel very sorry for starting Christmas without Peter.

“It's a belt,” I said, fingering the leaf pattern etched into the brown leather.

“Why would Peter get Ashley a belt?” Dibs asked. “I thought girls were supposed to like jewelry.”

“Or clothes,” Prank said, counting on his fingers. “Or flowers, or chocolate.”

“I bet it's for her sword,” Button said. “The rest of us have one.”

I looked at the belt again, and all my anger disappeared. I felt sad and happy at once.

Neverland's Christmas just didn't feel complete without Peter. The Tree Home felt a little quieter—a little emptier—without Pan to boss us around.

I wanted him to come back.

“Thank you for the present, Ashley,” Kyle said, throwing his arms around my neck and hugging me tightly.

“Yeah—thanks, Ashley,” said Prank, and Button echoed him.

Even Dibs thanked me, with his new book open in his lap. Apparently, he liked his gift much better after he saw the illustrations.

All the Lost Boys stayed up late with their new presents. Dibs went to bed first. He had eaten so many treats that he gave himself a stomachache and had to go lie down. Prank perfected his aim on his rubber band gun. Button drew tiny, precise pictures on some crumpled paper I had found at the bottom of my backpack. Kyle fell asleep among the roots of the Tree Home, still making car engine sounds in his dreams, and Button helped me carry him up to his hammock bed.

Then I settled myself a little above the Lost Boys, waiting up for Peter on the branch where his house sat, my new sword belt in my hand. I wanted to apologize for having Christmas without him. I wanted to give him the present I made for him.

“Don't worry, Ashley,” Prank said, pulling his blanket all the way up to his chin. “Peter's fine. Sometimes, he doesn't return for
days
.”