Always Remember (Memories) (20 page)

She puts the bags down, disappears into my kitchen for a glass, and pours herself a wine. She tops my glass up and sits next to me, tucking her legs under the quilt.

“You look like shit.”

“Gee, thanks. You really know how to make me feel good. Did you skip the ‘What Not to Say In Case Of a Broken Heart’ section in the best friend manual?” I ask dryly.

“I skimmed it.” She grins. “And I have been ordered to be here, so you know, I figure that part doesn
’t count.”

“Ordered to be here?”

“Yep.” She settles back. “What’s this crap you’re watching?”

“Bimbos and Abs, it looks like,” I quip. “Who ordered you to be here?”

“Samuel.”

“Samuel.”

“Yes. Samuel.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“He really has dropped his name.”

“Yep. He got annoyed when I called him Bing, and I only wanted to know why he was smashing the shit out of the punching bag. I think he broke some of the stitching.”

I swallow, looking into my glass. My chest tightens a little, and I have to take a deep breath. “Yeah. He was
kinda pissed when he left here,” I say quietly.

“Well, hell,” she cries. “
I’m
kinda pissed, Jen. My big brother is through the roof, steam-coming-from-his-ears pissed.”

My lips quirk at that visual. “Yeah. I can imagine.” My face drops again, and I spin my glass slowly between my fingers. “I think I
’d probably feel that way if I didn’t feel like I’d just been kicked in the gut by a horse.”

“I think he feels a little of that too. He just feels his anger first. He always has.” Lexy smirks. “He stubbed his toe on the kitchen table when he was about eight, and instead of registering the pain, he got angry and kicked the table with his other foot. He had two stubbed toes, and he was still angrier than he was in pain. It took him a few minutes to calm down and realise he
’d just bashed the hell out of both of his feet.”

I give a sad smile. “Why am I not surprised?”

“It gets better. He had a football match straight after. He hobbled for about ten minutes into it.”

“Yep. That sounds like my Samuel,” I whisper.

“Your Samuel, huh?”

I nod. “Well he is, isn
’t he? Bloody great buffoon that he is, he’s mine.” I sniff a little, fighting back some tears. “But I can’t be his, because I can’t deal with her.”

“He
’s not gonna let it go, Jen. Your best bet is just giving in to him and giving him what he wants, ‘cause he ain’t gonna stop till he’s got you back. In his mind, he still has you.”

“Don
’t, Lexy.”

“It
’s true. You have to accept that because he won’t give up on you.”

I lift my eyes to hers, and they
’re soft just like her voice. “Because he always gets what he wants, right?”

“Because he doesn
’t give up on something he believes in, and he believes in you.”

~

I wrap my arms around the two foot tall toddler as she falls into me and bury my face in her blonde curls.

“
An Jen!” Daisy yells, squeezing me.

“Hey, Daisy duck!” I kiss the side of her head, putting a smile on for her sake. I pull back from her and look into her big blue eyes. “Were you good for mummy in the car?”

She nods, her face innocent, and sucks on the corner of her blanket.

“Are we
gonna cause some mischief this weekend?” I glance over the top of her head at my sister and wink. She rolls her eyes, and Daisy nods again.

“
Bisc? Bisc?” she asks, looking at the kitchen.

“You want a biscuit?” I stand, and she nods. I look at Hannah. “Can she say “yeah” yet?”

“Nope.” She smacks her lips together. “You have to watch her nods or head shakes.”

“Great.” I mutter. “There
’s a two foot child running around my absolutely not child proofed flat that can’t talk besides basic words.”

“Oh, shut up.” Hannah laughs,
taking Daisy’s coat off. I grab a biscuit from the cupboard and hand it to Daisy, grinning as she snatches it and bounces into my front room.

“How was the car ride?” I flick the kettle on and hear a rattling noise as Daisy
’s bag is emptied.

“It was hell. Babies are not made for long car journeys, and then Lloyd called me six times because he
’s misplaced his work socks, his work badge, his wallet, his keys, one of his shoes-”

“And his phone?” I snicker.

“How did you know?” my sister asks wryly. “I swear, he’d lose his head if it wasn’t screwed on and locked with a deadbolt.”

“Tea?”

“Please.”

“Well,” I say as I drop two teabags into mugs. “I think that
’s a male thing in general.”

“Talking of males…” Hannah trails off. I can feel her eyes hot on my back, and I know she
’s taking in the oversized male jumper I’m wearing.

Yes, I was the one that walked away. But that doesn
’t mean it hasn’t ripped me apart. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean I don’t already miss him.

“Do we have to?” I pass her a mug without looking at her. “How about a nice girl
’s weekend? You know, shopping, sleepover with chick flicks, junk food, and painted nails…”

“From what I
’ve heard on the grapevine-”

“You mean the Lexy-vine.”

“You two are inseparable. Or, you were… So if I hadn’t already had a call from her this morning telling me what happened yesterday, I’d be surprised he’s not here and that you’re wrapped up in his jumper, holding it against you like it’ll disappear if you don’t.” She raises her perfectly arched eyebrows, settling in a chair at the table.

I glance over at Daisy, sitting on my rug playing with her toys and spraying crumbs everywhere. “I don
’t want to talk about it. Not around Daisy. I don’t want her to see me sad.”

“I don
’t wanna see you sad either, Jen,” Hannah says softly. “But I’m your big sister. We gotta talk about this tonight, okay?”

“Pretty sure we never talked about anything.”

“That’s because we were both petty teens arguing over who used the last of the hairspray.” She smirks. “We’ve grown up now. I know what it feels like to lose the person you love, for however short a time. Remember when me and Lloyd broke up three years ago? I didn’t leave my bedroom for-”

“Six days, except to pee.” I nod. “I know. I had to bring you food and drinks while you curled up in bed, listening to sappy songs, exhausting the stock of tissues in the village.”

She waves a hand, smiling slightly. “Exaggeration!” I raise an eyebrow, and she looks down. “Okay,” she mumbles. “Maybe only a slight exaggeration. So tonight, we’ll get Daisy bathed and in bed. Then we’ll order a takeaway, I’ll buy copious amounts of wine and junk food at Tesco, and then we’ll sit and sob. Okay?”

My face breaks into a genuine, yet small, smile. “Okay.”

~

Saturday
passes in a whirling blur of nothing to me, so before I know it, I’m in Red with Mitch. Saph is milling about as she normally does, dancing, laughing, and joking with everyone she sees that she knows. Which is most people.

“Cheer the fuck up.” Mitch elbows me.

I lean back against the bar. “What d’ya want me to do? Put a big cheesy grin on and grab the next bird I see?”

“That
’s what Bing would have done.”

“I
’m not Bing. I’ve told you that.” I sip my beer. “I won’t disrespect Jen by sleeping with someone else. The way I see it, she’s still mine and I’m still hers. Even if I didn’t see that way, I still wouldn’t go and fuck some other girl. I’m not giving up on this, mate. Fuck knows I waited long enough to get it.”

He doesn
’t say another word. What can he say to it? Really?

Saph
slips in between us, sipping her drink through a straw. I raise my eyebrows at her, and her eyes trawl across the club. Her foot taps in time with the beat, her head bobs side to side, and she keeps drinking until she has an empty glass. She turns slightly, setting it on the bar, and spins back round.

Mitch glances at me over the top of her head, and I shrug.

“Saph?” I question. She holds a hand up to me, her eyes narrowing slightly. She shakes her head and turns to me.

“Sam?” She smirks.

“You all right?”

“I
’m fine. I just thought I saw some vermin, but I was mistaken.” She smiles sweetly.

“Hey, Mitch is right next to you. No need to be such a bitch.” I wink at her and she giggles. Mitch glares at me, and
Saph turns her body towards him, laying her hand on his chest.

“Oh, poor Mitch, is the straightened out playboy being mean to you?” she coos. He swallows, visible even in the low light, and I grin.

“Why, you plannin’ on making it better if he is?” Mitch asks her.

“No.” She cackles and leans back against the bar. Mitch clenches his jaw, and one day they
’re gonna explode. “You need to cheer the hell u p.” Saph jabs her finger into my chest.

“So everyone keeps saying.” I put my glass down. “Not
happenin’ tonight, guys, so leave me here to wallow in my own shit for a while.”

“Hell no! What you need is a pretty little blonde thing with an ass worth a million bucks.” She looks at me.

“Only one pretty little blonde thing I want, Saph.” I look down. “And stuff her ass being worth a million dollars. Jennifer Mason in her entirety isn’t even worth a million dollars. She’s just priceless.”

Saph
smiles softly, and her eyes harden as they flick away from mine. “At least your taste is better, because I gotta say, I’ve had fish and chips worth more than some of the girls in your past.” Saph’s eyes go from the warmth of a summer day to the ice of the Arctic faster than a Ferrari goes nought to sixty.

My stomach drops, all my muscles simultaneously tightening throughout my body. Only one person could make
Saph go from nice Saph to bitch in seconds.

“I thought I heard something about a pretty little blonde thing,” Heidi says from behind me.

“And there’s the vermin,” Saph bites out.

“You did. And it certainly wasn
’t referencing you,” I snap, spinning to see her. She smiles up at me innocently.

“I couldn
’t help overhearing your little problem,” Heidi says softly.

“There
’s only one fucking problem I have around here, and I’m looking right at her,” I say icily.

“
Woah!” She holds her hands up and steps back a little. “No need to be, well, such an ass.”

“No need to be such an ass?” I almost shout at her. “Because of you and your ridiculous bitching, not to mention your fucking idiotic need to keep any girl away from me, I
’m busting my ass fighting to get Jen back.”

“Really looks like you
’re busting your ass,” Heidi replies. “Having a beer on a Saturday night with a friend. Yep. You’re trying to get her back.”

“I wouldn
’t need to fucking try to get her back if you hadn’t of stuck your goddamn nose in, would I? Don’t stand here in front of me on your high horses bitchin’ at me, because I’m pretty sure all I have to do is let Saph at you and she’ll knock you the fuck down off of it.”

“No need,”
Saph says from behind me. I turn, only just realising my hands are shaking, and notice Mick stood behind her.

“This her,
Saph?” Mick gestures in Heidi’s direction.

“Yep, that
’s her.” Saph winks at me.

Mick nods once and focuses on Heidi. “You
’re barred. Out, or I’ll have you removed.”

Smart little red haired bimbo, is
Saph.

Heidi sputters, her mouth falling open in shock. “I
’m barred? What the hell for?”

“Disrupting my customers and causing problems,” Mick answers.

“Disrupting your customers? That’s the worst reason ever! And I am a customer!”

“Look,
darlin’,” Mick waves his hand above his head. “This is my club and what I say, goes. You come in here, you buy a drink, dance a bit, and then head home in the small hours. You don’t bring your ass in and fuck my customers off, so ta-ra now, love.”

Two bouncers appear behind him, and Heidi shrieks before turning and storming away. The bouncers follow her, and I can
’t help the upturn of my lips.

Mick sticks his hand out and I shake. “Thanks, Mick.”

“Not at all.” He drops my hand. “She looks like she forgot half her outfit anyway. Better not to let all the riff raff in here, eh?” He turns to Saph. “That all, darlin’? I gotta get back to work.”