Authors: Criss Copp
“You
ready?” Summer chimed, standing up and twirling to look at me. A shadowed
concern crossed her face, “You look like you’re in pain, and I haven’t even
begun with you yet.” She stated.
She had no
idea how pertinent that sentence was right now.
“Like I
said yesterday... be gentle.” I replied, smiling suggestively, thinking about
the double meaning held within those words.
“Get up!”
she said, tugging at my hand again.
“Slave driver!”
I replied.
*
Summer was
actually pretty good at teaching me, or at least telling me what to do.
Feet
positioning... check!
Pushing
off... check!
Rolling
down the driveway... check!
Applying
pressure to either side of the deck for a subtle change in direction... check!
Falling
off... multiple
check
!
Believability...
not so sure!
Hours, and
hours... did I mention hours?
Yes,
fucking hours of falling, hurting and being grateful for some limited ability
to balance, otherwise I would’ve sported far worse gravel rash.
Summer.
Blake
actually did pretty well with skateboarding, I should’ve introduced him to it
years ago, but he’d always scoffed at it before.
On
Wednesday, he didn’t show at my house, and so we texted each other over the
course of the day.
I learnt his morning
boot camp session alongside Jordan had put them both out of action for the
day.
On
Thursday, when he came over to practice, he brought his own skateboard deck,
trucks and wheels, which we put together, and he dutifully launched back into
practice.
He was worse than on Tuesday,
but considering he was struggling with walking after the previous day, I
thought he did okay.
Friday came
along quite rapidly... Blake went to boot camp with Jordan again and then again
spent the day at home recovering from the experience.
Sally got
her results from Monday’s blood tests... yes, they were fine, as I knew they
would be, and in celebration, she was taking me shopping the following day.
And then
Julie came back.
All week
she hadn’t returned any of my calls, texts or requests to hang out.
She had broken up with Jordan on Wednesday,
via a text message, and she had refused to talk to Blake for days.
Debbie
knocked on my door.
I was reading the
second book in the
Underland
series,
by
Suzanne Collins
, lying on my bed.
“Summer,
you have a visitor.” Debbie said, opening the door.
I looked
over the top of my book.
Julie was
standing there, looking down at her shoes.
They were nice shoes... cute red ballet flats with a little silver clasp
on the toe.
They matched her vintage
inspired, mid thigh length, A-line red and green tulip dress.
She was not
here to get tips on riding a skateboard.
Regardless
of the brush off all week, I smiled at her.
“Hey
Jewels.”
“Hi,” she
replied quietly.
Debbie
turned and left, and I sat further up the bed and patted my hand on the quilt
cover, encouraging her to approach and take a seat.
Julie
wandered across my room, from the door.
She was a pretty girl, and she was a girly girl, unlike me.
Sitting
down a little farther away from me than I had indicated, she looked up at me
through her made up eyes and gave me a shy smile.
“What are
you doing?” she asked.
“Reading
about
Gregor’s
subterranean adventures,” I replied,
holding the face of the book up for her to see.
“His sister was taken you know... he’s on a mission to recover her.” I
said.
“Oh.” Julie
said, nodding absentmindedly.
I sighed
and put the book down.
“What’s up
Jewels?” I asked.
She
wouldn’t look at me; she just looked over at my stereo.
The doors of my entertainment unit were
pealed back to allow the music to flow freely.
I was playing my
Death Cab for
Cutie
CD,
Narrow Stairs
, which I
had purchased with some of my birthday money.
It was playing low enough so that it was really only background music,
so I didn’t think she was imploring me to turn it down.
“Jewels?”
I repeated, leaning forward and grabbing her wrist.
She flinched, but she didn’t pull away.
“I have to
tell you something, but I’m kind of scared.” She said.
“Okay,
well... I’m here, I’ll listen, and you know me Jewels... I won’t judge.” I
replied.
I was thinking about her dropping
Jordan, so I was kind of curious to know what she had to say.
She nodded,
and looked up at me.
Her eyes were
glistening, but no tears... yet.
I was
concerned this was going to need tissues.
“Hold that
thought...” I said jumping off the bed and running towards the ensuite.
I returned with a box of tissues and slumped
down on the bed next to Julie. “What do you need to talk about?” I asked her,
bending forward and turning my face up to her.
“You’re
going to hate me.” She said.
“Did you
hurt Sally?” I asked.
She shook her
head... “Did you do something to Debbie and Max?” I asked, again a shake of the
head... “Blake?
Did you hurt Blake?” I
asked her... again the negative shake.
I
smiled warmly at her... “So, I’m thinking that unless you’re admitting to being
a serial killer, I won’t hate you!” I finished.
Julie
relaxed a little, and smiled a lot.
“So what is
it?” I asked.
She sighed,
her smile was gone.
“The other
day... you remember Monday?” she asked.
“How could
I ever forget Monday?” I grunted.
“It’s
permanently imprinted on my brain!” I joked.
“Hmmm...”
she murmured.
“I was a jerk!” she said.
“It wasn’t
your finest moment... no!” I said.
“I... I
mean... It was a shock to see you two... you know!” she fumbled.
“Me too.”
I said.
“Well,
after that, I was stupid...
I was
immature, and I was way, way out of line.” She explained.
“I agree...
but I still love you.” I said, smiling.
“But I think we give that
Starbucks
a wide berth for a while, hey?” I reasoned.
“Um,
yeah...” She chuckled.
“Why were you
so determined with your argument, Jewels?” I asked, curious about what she had
to say.
“I really
wanted Blake to be gay.” She said.
Obviously
, I thought.
“Obviously,
but why?” I asked.
“Because it would make things easier.”
She reasoned.
“For who?”
I asked.
“For me...”
she murmured.
Come again?
I thought.
“How?”
I
asked.
Julie
sighed a mega huge sigh... she rolled her eyes to the ceiling.
“I think
I’m gay.” She said, eyes still up, a tear spilling down her face.
“Is that
all?” I said, although, I sounded more confident than I felt... I was
shocked!
I grabbed the tissues and
pulled one out, handing it to her.
I
moved in closer, I supposed she was in shock too... so I just put my arm around
her.
“I’m pretty
sure I am... and I just struggle with it so much.” She was crying now.
“Does Blake
know?” I asked her.
“No!” she
stressed through her tears.
“Why is it
such a problem for you, if you’re sure? I mean, there are some absolutely
gorgeous gay women out there!” I reasoned.
“I can’t
tell you why I’m struggling, I just am.” She said with her face in her
hands.
“Do you hate me?”
I scoffed
at her question... “Uh... No!” I said.
She looked
up at me, her makeup was smearing.
I
gave her more tissues.
“I was
jealous... of Blake for kissing you.” She said meekly.
What? She was jealous?
“I’m...
sorry?” I said, unsure of what to say.
“It’s not
your fault.” She said.
“But I know
you’re not like me, I never get a vibe from you that you might want to, you
know... go there!” she whispered.
“Now
do you hate me, for liking you... like that?”
I was
confused... so Julie had a ‘thing’ for me? I couldn’t pretend to reciprocate
it, I didn’t have one for her, but I definitely didn’t hate her.
“I don’t
hate you... I love you... just... just, not in that way.” I finished.
“I know.”
She said.
“I broke up with Jordan, too.”
“I heard,
since Blake and he are now besties.” I chuckled.
“I heard he took it... well.”
“Like hell
he did. He stormed over to my house and demanded I come and tell him to his
face.” She explained.
I’d heard
this too, obviously... Blake told me all about it.
“I couldn’t
face him... so I just told Blake to tell him to get lost.” She said.
I knew this
as well, although, Blake didn’t tell him to get lost - what he actually did was
head Jordan out the door and explain to him that Julie was a temperamental
girl, and that Jordan was lucky to be rid of her... he also said that Jordan
should cut his losses and run for freedom while the getting was good.
Jordan didn’t take it so well, but he was
still hanging out with Blake and doing boot camp, regardless.
“So...” I
began.
“Do you still want to be friends
with me?” I asked her.
“What?”
Julie looked at me.
She looked
confused.
“You still want to be
friends?”
“Of course!”
I replied, giving her an incredulous look.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because of what I just told you.”
She reasoned.
I
humphed... “That’s just silly!
Of course
I want to be your friend... of course I do!
Unless it makes things too hard for you...
I
mean, I’m sorry I just can’t go there with you!” I reasoned.
Julie
smiled.
“I want to be friends... I’ll be
okay.
But, don’t tell Blake, I don’t
want him to know!” she said.
“I won’t,
but you know... it’ll all come out in the end.” I reasoned with her.
“Well,
let’s wait till the end then.” She said.
*
The
holidays flew past...
Summer break
always did, it was just never long enough.
Julie
didn’t hang with me as much as she used to, much of it was because of Blake,
but more importantly, because of Blake and Jordan.
Blake and I
had scheduled much of our
Freshman
year together, with
the exception of his Fine Arts and Media and Graphic Arts courses, which I was
not interested in – although, I took photography.
And while he was busy with those subjects, I
took French language and Music theory.
Of most import
was the dynamics of our group, which for me essentially had progressed to Blake
and Jordan; along with Cameron, Dylan (blow-ins accompanying Jordan) and
Stephanie, a quiet and studious friend that Blake, Julie and I used to hang
with in our previous year.
She had been
AWOL during the holidays, on account of having to spend it with her
grandparents in Wyoming.
Julie was
intermittent, preferring to stay away from Jordan, and probably Blake too.
She returned to hanging with some of her old
crowd from Elementary days.
Stephanie
was a really cute girl, as in petite and little.
She had sky blue eyes, pale skin and almost
black hair, which was long and always kept in a ponytail.
She had one of those upturned noses, and her
eyes had a slight almond shape to them.
I think she was about 5ft 3in, and she sported a little weight, but it
looked right on her.
She wore reading
glasses in class and when she studied, which were super cool.
She liked to wear a similar vintage style to
that which Julie had perfected, and it looked really funky.