Always You (15 page)

"Ok then I get it, you've refrained from sex for six weeks I'm impressed" I said rolling my eyes a little, he chuckled and kissed my neck, "Still not done stud" I said pushing him back again.

"Jeez what more is there?" he asked throwing his hands up theatrically.

"I'm a virgin" I said quietly trying not to blush, his eyes widened in shock.

"You're kidding me" he said a small smile playing on his lips.

"Nope not kidding" I said frowning, why the hell is he smiling at me like that? "What's so funny?" I asked annoyed, was he laughing at me? He pushed me down onto the couch and laid on top of me smiling his ass off as he kissed me again. Ok what the hell is up with him?

I pushed him back, "What?" asked a little breathless from the kiss.

"I've never been with a virgin before" he said kissing down my neck. I closed my eyes and tried not to wince at the thought of being with him, letting him do the things that Clay had done, go further even. The thought scared me, I wanted Clay so badly, I wanted him to be my first and that feeling hadn't gone away at all, but hopefully in time it would. I would just have to keep trying to forget him and take things slow.

"Slow down stud, your getting way ahead of yourself there" I said chuckling as he bit my ear lobe.

"Ok well your just gonna have to tell me how fast you want to go, this virgin and minor thing is all new to me" he said sounding excited.

"Oh great so now I'm some kind of project?" I asked laughing, he laughed too and rolled off me onto his side so that we were facing each other and wrapped his arm around me. It felt nice, different but still nice.

"You're not a project, I just don't want to do anything you don't want me to" he said running his hand up my side smiling at me. We chatted easily for a while, he was really easy to get along with and actually quite funny, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong, that he was wrong, my body and soul ached for Clay to be here with me like this.

About an hour later we were making out on the couch, he had his hand up my top and was massaging my breasts, he'd taken his top off and I was slowly trailing my hands down his chest being careful not to go too far down to give him the wrong impression. This already felt like we were moving way too fast, but doing this was almost keeping my mind off of Clay. I say almost as I still couldn't help comparing everything to Clay, his body, his taste, how he moved his hands. He was a lot rougher than Clay, more forceful and demanding, not tender or loving.

He had a great body, not as muscular as Clay but lean and sculptured and very hot. He had a tattoo on his arm of some sort of dragon thing and he had one of his nipples pierced. We didn't hear the front door open but I heard someone gasp, Blake jumped off of me quickly. I looked up to see Clay standing there, his hands clenched into tight fists, his eyes shooting murderous looks at Blake. "What the hell are you doing Riley?" he almost screamed but not looking at me he was still looking angrily at Blake.

"Hey man, I might be mistaken but I thought you lived next door" Blake said smugly with a chuckle as he pulled on his t-shirt, I got up off the sofa blushing like crazy.

"Blake I swear to God" Clay started to say as he stepped forwards looking like he wanted to beat the life out of him.

"Clay, I didn't hear you come in" I said weakly trying to diffuse some of his anger, his eyes snapped to me.

"No of course you didn't Riley you were too busy getting it on with this piece of shit" he said nodding his head in Blake's direction but not taking his eyes off of mine. They looked hurt and something else, jealous maybe? He wouldn't be jealous though that's stupid, Clay didn't get jealous over girls, he just used them like he used me last night.

I stepped forwards, "Clay I wasn't getting it on with him, and for Gods sake I thought you promised you would let this grudge go" I said waving a hand between the two of them.

He took a deep breath, "Whatever, I just came back to tell you that I'm going out with Zoë tonight" he said with a sneer. I flinched and tried to hide the jealousy I felt that he was gonna be with that skank and that she would definitely have her hands on him and probably more than that, bile rose in my throat.

"What time will you be back?" I asked weakly my voice breaking slightly as I looked at the most gorgeous face in the world, his eyes flashed something like hurt or sorrow before he shook his head violently.

"That's the point, I'm not coming back, I'll be staying at hers" he said nastily. My breath caught in my throat, he wasn't staying here? He was going to leave me on my own so he could go sleep with some whore? I never thought Clay would ever do that to me. He knew I'd be scared on my own, and Saturday night was always our night, always.

"Clay, my Mom and Brian aren't here this weekend, you promised you'd stay so I won't be in the house on my own" I said weakly, desperately trying not to cry while my heart was breaking. My best friend and the guy I was in love with was choosing a meaningless one night stand with some other girl over me.

"I'm sure Blake will stay with you if you ask him" he said, and with that he turned on his heel and stormed off.

I just stood there staring after him, he had never looked so angry with me, I felt sick, I felt an arm go around me and suddenly Blake was there with his cocky grin. "I will definitely stay if you ask me" he said his eyes shining with excitement. I didn't want him to touch me, my world was falling apart, the pain in my chest felt like it was killing me. I needed to get him to leave, I wanted to be on my own I didn't know how long I could keep the tears away.

"No thanks stud that would definitely be too fast for me, but thanks for the offer" I said patting his chest. "Look you should go, Rachel's coming over in a bit and we're gonna watch a movie so I need to get changed and stuff" I lied kissing his cheek and taking his hand to lead him to the door.

He looked sad as he agreed and kissed me goodbye promising to call me tomorrow and that if I changed my mind and needed him tonight that he would gladly be here, yeah I bet he would. I smiled at him and closed the door, as soon as I heard his car drive away I couldn't hold it anymore. My heart broke into a million pieces and I slid to the floor crying helplessly.

I felt awful, like I was dying, I made myself get up and go to bed, it was only 4:30 but I needed to curl up in my bed. I grabbed the pillow Clay always used and buried my face into it, breathing in his smell trying to calm myself. I don't know when I feel asleep but the next thing I know two strong arms wrapped around me and moved me over in the bed into a hard chest, a hand smoothed the hair from my face and someone kissed my cheek.

I looked up into two familiar green eyes and I felt like I was home, everything was ok, Clay was here with me nothing else mattered. "I'm sorry Riley bear" he said putting his forehead to mine and holding my cheek. I closed my eyes enjoying his closeness. "I'm an asshole, I know and I'm so sorry, I love you Riley bear" he said quietly. I couldn't speak so I did the only thing I wanted to do in the world other than hold him tight, I kissed him, he responded immediately kissing me back with so much passion that it took my breath away.

He pulled out of the kiss too soon and I whimpered, tears were starting to form in my eyes, he'd rejected me again. "I need to say something" he said stroking my face lightly. I closed my eyes not wanting to hear it, "This doesn't mean the same for me as it does for you" he said quietly. Jeez I know that! Does he think I don't know that? I want him with every bone in my body and he's just getting a quick thrill.

"I know that Clay" I said quietly still leaving my eyes closed, "I know that this is something fun for you" I said kissing him again.

Now that we'd admitted it maybe we could still do this and be friends at the same time, like friends with extra's because I just needed him. He pulled away looking at me intently slightly confused. "No Riley, it's not fun for me" he said, I gasped oh God I wasn't even fun? What the hell? Did I do something wrong? He said that I was good at it, he must have lied. My breathing sped up as I started to panic. "Riley! Riley that's not what I meant jeez, of course its fun for me in that way, but what I meant was I don't want you to just be something fun, I love you, I want to be with you, but I'll be here for whatever you need, you need a friend I'll be your friend, you need someone to hold you I'll be that too, whatever you want, I'll do anything" he said quietly, rubbing my cheek tenderly.

I still couldn't breathe, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would kill me, he wanted me? Am I dreaming? I must still be sleeping and this is just the best dream I have ever had in my life, I didn't ever want to wake from this dream. I looked up at him hopefully, warmth spreading from his fingers though my cheek melting my heart.

"Clay" I whispered, how do I respond to that? He's just told me he loves me that he'll do anything for me, what can I say to that?

"It's ok Riley bear, I know things are gonna be difficult from now on, now that you know how I feel, but I promise I won't stand in the way of you and Blake, I'm sorry for what I said and for walking off like that. I was jealous and hurting, I wasn't going to meet Zoë, I just said that, I was lashing out. I promise we can make this work, it'll hurt like hell but I can put my feelings for you aside and be your friend I promise, I just needed you to know finally" he said. Wow that was the longest speech I had ever heard him make.

I smiled at him and he smiled back kissing my forehead and laying his head back with a contented sigh probably pleased that he had finally told me the truth and got it off of his chest. He thinks I don't want him? Is he crazy? Every girl I knew wanted to be with Clay, he is the most perfect boy in the world. I sat up quickly and looked down at his beautiful face.

"I love you too Clay" I said, he nodded and smiled his beautiful smile.

"I know that Riley bear, but I just needed you to know finally, that I'm in love with you, I have been since the first time I saw you, you were so shy holding that damn rabbit that was always escaping" he said with a smile. I laughed, I'd forgotten about that, Clay and I were always running around trying to catch that damn rabbit. I bent my head and kissed him gently.

"Clay, I'm in love with you too" I said quietly looking into his eyes. His eyes lit up and his face went from complete shock into the biggest smile I had ever seen him do, it made me smile too.

"You love me?" he asked excitedly, I laughed and nodded.

He grabbed my face, "You're being serious Riley? You love me?" he asked desperately. I nodded again watching as his face lit up into a huge smile.

"Yes Clay I love you" I smiling at his expression, he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He kissed me passionately, tenderly, making a moaning sound in the back of his throat, that made my whole body burn, I slowly unbuttoned his shirt kissing his chest as I pulled it off.

He grabbed hold of me and rolled over so I was under him running his hands through my hair still beaming at me. "I wish you'd told me this a couple of days ago, I've been going through hell I swear, I was so happy when I woke up next to you after that first night then when I came back from the shower you looked so horrified and like you'd been crying" he said shaking his head at the memory looking hurt.

"I had been crying" I admitted trailing my hands down his back feeling his muscles move as he tensed.

"Why?" he asked kissing my cheek.

"I thought you'd left me, I thought that you played me and that everything was ruined" I said.

He frowned, "That's why you said we had to forget it?" he asked quietly still stroking my hair, I nodded.

"I thought you regretted it, you're a player Clay you've never even had a girlfriend I thought I needed to straighten it out before things got awkward, I thought you'd used me" I said hooking my thumbs in his belt loops spreading my fingers out over his perfect ass.

He bent his head trailing little kisses from the corner of my mouth across my cheek to my ear. "I've told you hundreds of times why I've never had a girlfriend" he whispered nibbling on my ear lobe. I frowned, he'd told me? I can't remember.

"Why?" I asked confused, he chuckled.

"Riley bear, you're the only one for me, I don't want a girlfriend if it's not you" he said simply, Oh God yeah! He always says that, that because I wasn't interested in him was why he was a player and never wanted anything serious, he always said I was the only girl for him. I thought back to all the times he told me he loved me or that he would do anything for me. All the times he made me things, little surprises, picking me flowers, everything he did for me, I'd just laughed at him thinking he was joking, that was him telling me how he felt. God I've been so stupid!

Happiness burst inside me, "So what your saying is that you want me to be your girlfriend?" I asked giving him a flirty smile.

"No Riley bear, what I'm saying is that I want you to be my everything, my soul mate, my girlfriend, my whole world" he said kissing me lightly, I blushed and giggled like a little kid. He smiled at me "Ok was that too much?" he asked blushing slightly.

"Maybe a little" I said pulling his face to mine and kissing him passionately.

"I have one thing I would definitely like you to be" I said rolling so I was on top of him again.

"Anything" he said running his hands down my back, across my ass and down my thighs, making me moan breathlessly.

"My first" I whispered in his ear seductively, he gasped and rolled over again so he was on top and kissed me.

The kiss was amazing it made my whole body tingle, it made me lose myself, by the time he pulled away to kiss my neck I was giddy with desire. I pulled at his jeans trying to get them off as quick as possible, he was doing the same to my clothes. I was already down to my panties and bra before he pulled away, "Crap! We can't, I don't have anything" he said slapping his forehead, the disappointment I felt was overwhelming, it was almost painful.

I looked at his face to see he felt the same as me, suddenly he brightened and kissed me again, Oh thank you God he's remembered he has one. The nervous excitement was starting to build back up again. Oh my God I'm about to have sex with Clay! I was still pulling at his jeans pushing them all the way off. "Riley, I don't have one" he said rolling off of me slightly again still beaming at me.