Always: You'll Never Walk Alone (7 page)

Chapter Eight

When I woke, it was dark. I don’t know how long I’d run, or where I’d run to. All I remembered was running until I could run no further and then falling down into a ditch. The moon was up and from the light it cast I could see I was in the same place I’d fallen, although where that place was I had no idea. Climbing to my knees, a cold wind chilled my face. I saw lights from the town in the distance, and way off to my right a single light from a lonely house. I was in some sort of muddy field, wet, hungry and sick. As if to remind me, a coughing spasm wrenched my body. Pulling the collar of my jacket around my neck, I felt the first drops of rain on my face. I couldn’t stay here. I needed to find food and shelter but the only chance for that was back into the town.

I sat down, what were my choices? Make my way back to town. If I could find the stable where I’d spent the night, the rest of the food Winifred had packed for me was still there. But the police would be out looking for me, if they found me how could I explain running away? They’d think I had something to do with Alfred’s murder. Even if I could convince them of my innocence, no doubt they would find out about my conviction in Guildford and I’d end up in jail anyway. I could stay here, but if I didn’t get dry and get something to eat I didn’t think I would survive. Finally I could make my way away from the town and hope to find some food and shelter along the way.

The pain in my head was getting worse. I couldn’t stay here. If I tried to get away from the town I couldn’t go very far, and the rain was getting heavier. I wouldn’t survive another soaking. The only choice was to go back.

I’d heard people saying they saw stars after getting hit on the head and I’d never believed them. But as I stood up, first I saw blackness then I saw stars, purple ones, red ones, green ones, small ones, big ones, multi-coloured ones… then they all started to turn black! If I sat down, I wouldn’t get up again. So I stood there staggering until the world came back in focus, the stars faded and the blackness turned to grey.

I started back towards the town. Stopping every few minutes overtaken by a coughing fit, a sneezing fit or just to stop myself from passing out. After what seemed like days but was probably no more than an hour, I reached the edge of town. Where was that stable? I didn’t recognize anything. Not surprising really since I hadn’t seen anything of the town except the inside of the shed, the stable and the police station. I felt my strength ebbing away and leant against a post for support. I threw up. There was nothing in my stomach, so my body just heaved and convulsed which brought the stars back to my eyes. Maybe I should just sit down here and sleep. I should never have started this trip. I was stupid to think I could go up against someone like Lord Beecham. Look what’s happened to me, me the great hero, I’d had my money stolen, been thrown in jail, was wanted by the police, I was so sick I couldn’t stand and I hadn’t even got more than a few miles out of London. I sunk to the ground, my head pounding, bang, silence, bang, bang, silence. I opened my eyes, bang, bang, bang, it wasn’t my head, it was the loose board on the stable I’d entered the night before. I climbed back to my feet and staggered towards the banging board, crawled inside and passed out.

For the next few days I slipped in and out of consciousness, I fought the rats over the last of the food. Sometimes I opened my eyes when it was light, sometimes dark. I had dreams of Alfred’s dead body, his sightless eyes would open and his hands reach out for me. I would try to get away but my legs wouldn’t move. Then other hands would take my head and force me to drink cups of blood. I fought with all my strength, but couldn’t stop the blood from flowing into my throat.

Finally, I woke up. It was light in the stable. As I sat up a blanket fell from my body. I was light headed but the pounding ache had receded. Looking around I saw a bowl, some bread and a large mug filled with water. I took a sip of the water and ate some bread. I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn’t support me, and my back muscles spasmed. I sat back down and tried to remember where I was and how I’d got here. I remembered running from the police but everything else was just a blur. I drank some more water, then felt a desperate need to relieve myself. With the help of the wall I pulled myself almost upright, the stiffness in my back preventing me from standing straight, so stooped over like an old man I made my way to the far side and let go a stream that I thought would never end. I had just finished when I heard someone lifting the loose board. I looked around for somewhere to hide, but there was nowhere I could go without being seen. After all that I had been through, was this the end?

My eyes locked on the figure climbing through the opening, my heart pounding. As he stood up and looked around I was prepared to defend myself in any way I could, although what that would have been in my state I don’t know. Then he looked straight at me and smiled. It was Tim.

“Well you’re looking a lot better. I didn’t think you were going to make it for a few days there.”

“A few days? How long have I been here?”

“Five days. I found you here the day after you disappeared from the police station. You were passed out on the floor; I almost fell over you when I came in. You were sweating and trembling I didn’t know what to do so I covered you up and kept you dry, then I found some of your money so I took a shilling and bought some soup and food and tried to feed you. It wasn’t easy you kept on yelling and fighting with me but finally I managed to get some of the soup into you each day, then yesterday you stopped sweating and you drank some water and ate some bread and cheese. I hope you don’t mind me taking your money, I only used a shilling the rest is still there, you can check.”

“You saved my life; I think that’s worth more than a shilling. Does anyone else know I’m here?”

“I haven’t told anyone. When you disappeared from the police station, there was a big search. They thought you must have something to do with the murder, but I was sure you didn’t. They questioned me for hours, they asked about you, where you’d come from, how long I’d known you, but in the end they let me go. I thought you’d probably left town but I knew you weren’t well, so I came back here to check, and that’s when I found you on the floor. At first, I thought you were dead but you mumbled something, I think you must have been delirious. I tried to help you but you fought me off, so I stayed with you ‘til you calmed down, then I covered you up and came back the next day. That’s when I took some of your money and bought food. I thought you were going to die but I kept coming back ‘til today. The police think you’ve left town, so they’ve given up looking for you, but no one knows what happened to Alfred.”

I thanked him for all his help, but I had to get on my way. I should have been in Cornwall by now. I’d been sleeping for almost a week while Sarah had been… Who knows what had been happening to Sarah. I went to get my things but as I leaned over to pick them up a wave of dizziness overtook me and I staggered back.

“You can’t leave, you haven’t recovered, you’ve been unconscious for a week. What’s your rush? You can stay here; I’ll bring you whatever you need.”

I thanked him but said I had to be on my way, I couldn’t stay here any longer. He convinced me to stay until dark, as I’d have less chance of being seen then. I agreed and gave him another shilling to get some food for my journey.

I sat down to ponder my situation. I was still weak, I had three shillings left, I was miles from Cornwall, and I had no idea how I was going to get there. I must have fallen asleep again, because Tim returning with the food waked me…

“It must be important for you to get to Cornwall and you certainly can’t walk there, so I’ve brought something to help” and he led me outside.

Standing there ready to go was Alfred’s horse and cart.

“I can’t take that it belongs to Alfred.”

“Well I don’t think it’ll be much use to Alfred anymore, will it?”

“Yes but what about his family?”

“He doesn’t have any. He’s been coming here for years and although he’s never been a great talker he did say he’d never been married. He lived on his own outside Guildford. Said that women were too damn much trouble.”

“But surely there must be someone.”

“Well if there is I don’t know who, and if it stays here my boss will take it. He was talking about selling it just today.”

“Won’t you get in trouble if I take it?”

“No, I’ll just tell him it was stolen. He’ll never know. He only comes around once a day, half the time he doesn’t know what’s going on anyway.”

I thanked him for his generosity and since I still had a couple of hours before it was dark we sat and talked.

He had worked at “the shed”, as everyone called it, since he’d been orphaned at five years of age. Sam the owner found him sleeping out back and offered to feed him in return for work. When he’d started, it was mostly sweeping up and running errands, but as he got older he helped load and unload the carts and now he did just about everything. Sam came by once a day for about an hour. He checked the orders, counted the money, then passed the rest of the day spending it at the local tavern. The work was pretty easy and left Tim with lots of free time. He asked why I had run away from the police station. And I told him of my journey and the false accusations made by Mr. Mortimer.

“Mr. Mortimer? I know him. He cheated Sam out of a lot of money. Some sort of investment I think. If he comes back to this town he’d want to avoid Sam and a few other people around here!”

We continued talking about our lives ‘til it got dark, then ate supper together. When we finished, I got my few possessions together and climbed onto the cart. Tim had filled the back with hay for the horse. He wished me good luck. I thanked him again and I was on my way to Sarah once more.

Chapter Nine

Leaving Winchester I followed the signs to Salisbury. A cold wind blew constantly and I pulled Alfred’s coat, which was at least four sizes too big, around me. Thankfully, it was a clear night. I didn’t think I could handle more rain. My body was still aching and every so often, I’d break into a coughing fit, but all things considered I was on my way and in spite of everything, feeling pretty good. The sky was filled with more stars than I’d ever seen. I’d seen stars in London but never anything like this. I knew the stars had names but they were unknown to me. How could anyone know the names of so many stars, I couldn’t even count that many, and then I saw one streaking across the sky. Did stars move? I’d never seen such a thing! I heard strange birdcalls and animal noises, that I’d never heard before and I revelled in the newness of the experience.

I drove on through the night, stopping occasionally to rest the horse. I lay on the hay in the back of the cart and watched the heavens above me. I wondered if Sarah could see the same sky. What was happening to her? It had been so long since she’d been taken. Was she alright? Was she thinking of me? Did she know I was coming after her, or did she think she was on her own? “I’ll be there for you Sarah, I love you” I called to the night, hoping that in some way she would hear me.

The next thing I knew, the sun was shining in my eyes. I’d fallen asleep and hadn’t even got as far as Salisbury. I had planned on getting there while it was still night so I could get through without anyone seeing me. Now I would have to wait for nightfall again. I swore at my stupidity, had some breakfast and swore at my stupidity again. I decided to get as close to Salisbury as I could then as soon as it was dark I’d go right through. If I kept the coat up around my head no one would see my face if they looked, and then I would drive for the rest of the night without stopping to look at the stars.

I drove on for miles along the mostly deserted road. Then, after a few more hours, rearing up before me was a massive cathedral, as big as any I’d seen in London. I could see the spire reaching towards the sky, dwarfing everything around it. I’d made it to Salisbury! I was maybe a mile outside the city when I pulled off to the side of the road. The sun that woke me had disappeared behind the clouds and once more, it started to rain. Within minutes it turned into a deluge. I couldn’t stay out in this, if I got sick again, I might never make it to Cornwall. I had no choice! I couldn’t wait. I’d have to go into the city. For better or worse, I snapped the reins and the horse pulled towards the city.

Salisbury was the biggest city I’d seen since leaving London, but unlike London it was much more spacious. I needed to find shelter for the horse and myself and we both needed some rest. The horse was tired, and the soaking he was receiving was not making him any happier. We drove through the wet streets in search of a place to stay. I didn’t want to ask for help in case I should be recognized. Finally, after what seemed like hours, but was in fact not much more than one, I found a stable. Unhitching the horse, I rubbed him down as best I could. The warmth of the stable and the company of other horses seemed to raise his spirits and he ate some oats contentedly. I asked the stable boy if I could stay with the horse, and he assured me that would be fine. I sat down and ate some of the food Tim had packed for me, and asked the boy if he’d like to share.

His name was Andy; he thanked me, and offered to brew some tea. We sat together for the next hour drinking tea, eating sandwiches, and talking.

I told him I was on my way to Cornwall and asked for the best route out of town. He gave me directions and I told him I would leave as soon as the rain stopped. By the looks of it, that could be quite some time, but in England in January you could never tell. Finishing our lunch, he rinsed the mugs and went back to work while I lay down and tried to sleep. I kept waking up throughout the afternoon, but every time I opened my eyes and lifted my head, it was still raining. My fever had returned, and I would go from sweating to shivering and back to sweating. At one point Andy brought some more tea, which I drank down before falling asleep once more. The next time I woke, it was dark. Andy was making sure all the horses were comfortable before leaving for the night. It was still raining and he asked if I would like to stay in the stable overnight then leave in the morning. I couldn’t risk staying any longer, so I thanked him but said I had to go.

With Andy’s help, I hitched the horse and climbed onto the cart. Wrapping the big coat around me, I set out into the night.

The streets were mostly deserted as I drove through the city. Coming at last to the cathedral, I was reminded of how this voyage had started. Why did I pick that day to go to St. Paul’s? If we had never gone, we’d still be together in the Fox. I’m sorry Sarah. Hold on, I’m on my way. I will find you. I urged the horse on. It was no more than two days ride to Cornwall.

The rain mixed with my sweat and ran down my back, as we left Salisbury behind us.

I drove all night. Passing through small villages, I never saw another soul the whole night. It was as if the world had ended and I was the only person left alive. I stopped from time to time to let the horse rest, trying as best I could to find shelter under the trees. But, the rain continued. From time to time I’d fall asleep, and I’d wake to find the horse had stopped and would not start moving again until after I’d offered all sorts of threats and finally had to find a piece of branch to whip his back.

As the first light of dawn made its way above the horizon the rain slowed and finally stopped. I didn’t know where I was. Everything was grey there wasn’t a house or barn in sight. I pulled off the road into a field. I unhitched the horse and lay down in the back of the cart. My body was trembling and the ache had returned. I covered myself with the wet hay, and slept.

I slept for most of the morning. When I woke, a grey cloud of fog encompassed the world. I couldn’t see more than four feet in front of me. Climbing out of the cart, my legs buckled when I touched the ground. I regained my balance, reached into the cart, took out some bread and made myself a sandwich. No one would see me in this weather, so finishing my lunch I decided to get moving again.

But where was the horse? I called out, my voice disappearing into the fog. I stumbled around, slipping on the wet grass and mud. Where was that damn horse? I searched all over. The fog was so thick I had no idea which direction I was going and wandered around blindly.

Before long, I was completely disoriented. There was no sound beyond the water dripping from the trees and my heavy breathing. Now I didn’t know where the cart was either. I sunk to the ground, my back against a tree and rested my head in my hands, my body shaking uncontrollably. How could I lose a horse and a cart? I was in the middle of the countryside. I didn’t know where I was, or even where the road was. I was sick again. I’d lost the horse, the cart and all my provisions. I lay down. I’m sorry Sarah; I tried. I can’t go on.