DR. JONES
April 7
th
8:20 a.m.
Ashley.
My Ashley.
Now what do I do? I don’t even…
What do I write? She’s here. They’ve brought her in. They’ve given me my wish, but not in the way I so badly desired. She’s no longer my wonderful Ashley. Her beautiful long dark hair is matted with blood. One of her eyes is actually hanging from its socket. Her face is covered in bloody scratches. I can’t even bear to look at her. I feel revulsion and shame. That isn’t the way you’re supposed to feel looking upon your spouse.
I won’t consider her a specimen, whatever happens to me now. The smirking bastard that brought her in, deeming her that can just…fuck off. I refuse to play to their shit anymore. This is too far, this is much too far. No one could tolerate this. This is beyond…
Where’s Melody? Oh dear God, Melody. I hope they haven’t done this to you too. Would they? No. But of course they would. I know that. Deep down, I’ve now seen enough to know that no one is safe, not even an innocent five-year-old girl. I can’t cry anymore.
Ashley’s leg is broken, bone is sticking out. Her arm has been dislocated, this isn’t from being infected.
They’ve
done this to her. What if she knew it was happening? I can’t even think. The worst thing of all is her underwear. It has been removed. Why have her knickers been taken off, leaving her with absolutely no dignity? It’s clear that she’s suffered extensive wounds to her…to her…
What have they done to you? I can’t even think. I’ve been violently sick so many times. I’m sweaty and I’ve pulled out clumps of my hair. I think my face is wet with tears but I don’t even know anymore. Am I in a nightmare? I wish I was so none of this would be real. Maybe I’ve finally lost it. I’d like to think so, but my eyes aren’t deceiving me. This hell has become worse than I ever thought possible. There was a split second when I thought I saw recognition in her eyes. She almost looked human. But it was over so quickly that I must have imagined it. That just cannot be possible. Once the victim is
that
far into infection, there isn’t any humanity left. Not that I’ve seen, anyway…
Ashley. This is all my fault. You’ve been through God knows what, and it’s entirely because of my decisions, because I agreed to do this. This disease is too difficult. I didn’t know what I was getting myself in for.
God damn it, Ashley, I’ve failed you far too many times, but this is beyond anything I ever thought possible. No man ever imagines their marriage ending up in this condition.
Melody. I really, so very desperately want to think that they wouldn’t subject a young child to anything terrible, but these people are
evil
. They’re fucked up. In fact, they need to die. If the world is ruled by them…
It doesn’t bear thinking about.
Oh Ashley, what am I going to do? I just—
2:15 p.m.
I’ve smashed everything up. This whole room. I actually feel sorry because I can’t control myself. Jason stopped me before I ended up releasing all of the specimens in my fury. That would have caused chaos. I would have hurt myself and everyone around me. Although does that even matter anymore? I don’t know, my brain is all over the place.
I just don’t have any idea how to deal with all the rage bubbling up inside me. I’m sad, I’m overwhelmingly upset. I’ve lost my whole world and I don’t know where my beautiful daughter is. I don’t know…
I can’t—
Ashley, I’ll avenge you. You can at least be sure of that. I’ll make every fucker that hurt you pay. Mark my words.
6:30 p.m.
My worst fears have been confirmed. I examined Ashley closer. It took everything within me to do so. I was looking at my copy of our wedding photo and I knew I just had to discover the truth. It isn’t right for her suffering to be kept a secret.
It wasn’t easy, she is well into the third stage of infection, but this is my wife. I confirmed everything I thought I knew. She’s been abused, violated. I can’t even write down the true extent of what they’ve done to her, it’s too difficult. This is the love of my life, for fuck’s sake! I thought she was being looked after, I thought—
I’m going to get them back. I will.
1:35 a.m.
I can’t sleep. I doubt I’ll ever sleep again.
I’ve been sitting talking to Ashley—well, what’s left of her. I still can’t look too closely at her. Her eyes convey all of those sick bastards doing things to her. I can see it, and it cuts me up badly. I’ve been keeping Jason awake but he hasn’t complained once. I think my state of mind is clear.
I know why this has happened. Well, there’s no excuse for what they’ve done to her beforehand. I’ve been trying my absolute best. But her arrival down here has come at a very convenient time. Yesterday evening, I presented the newest research. Specimen fourteen eventually died of her own accord. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t simple, in fact it was a nightmare, but it happened. Then specimen seventeen quickly followed, proving my theory right. Victims of AM13 deteriorate with nothing to keep them going, until they can no longer carry on. Then they just slowly die. Their bodies just give up. It makes so much sense; it just isn’t a quick process.
All we have to do is wait.
Who knows how long Ashley has been infected. Who knows? But they waited until my answer was unsatisfactory before bringing her down here to show me what they’re capable of.
I’ve got to kill them before they do anything to Melody. If they haven’t already, of course. They
have
to die for this. I owe it to everyone. No one can survive this regime, someone needs to put a stop to it, and that person has to be me. I need to make things right. I can’t do it for myself, everything has already been stripped away from me, but if Melody is alive, I need to make this world a better place for her. She deserves a chance. All the remaining survivors do. None of them have earned the life they currently have, and will continue to have if no one does anything. This messed up government needs to come to a rapid end before they ruin civilisation irreparably.
The disgusting bastards! I can’t wait to give them what they deserve.
ALYSSA
I rush over to the hole in the fence and beckon the others to come through quickly. I can sense the relief emanating off of them immediately. I never considered how truly worrying it must have been for them during the time we were inside. We were a long time, and they had no idea what was going on. We had to be thorough though, and luckily for us the entire building was empty. That didn’t stop us from being extra careful. One room missed could have ended someone’s life.
“Go inside,” I pant. “It’s all completely empty. I’m just going to fill in this hole; I’ll see you in there.” Emily pauses to wait with me, but I impatiently motion for her to leave. I want to do this by myself, there’s something extra I need to do whilst I’m here, and knowing Emily’s temperament, I never know how she’s going to react to things.
I find some planks of wood which I intend to use, but before that I look around for something to write with. One of the zombie’s corpses has a thick black pen in its pocket, which I grab hold of gratefully—it’s nice on the odd occasion that things
actually
go my way. I scrawl my message across the wood, pleased at finally doing something positive. I should have thought of this sooner—I would have probably had more luck with it at the church—but at least I’m doing it now.
E. I found your letter at the airport. I’ve been looking for you ever since. I’m in here. It’s safe at this base.
Please
come in, I’m desperate to find you. A.
I’m pleased with my handiwork. I had to write it quite small, to fit in all I wanted to say, but I’m sure it’ll be intriguing enough to bring forward anyone who isn’t infected. I consider writing a note to any other survivors to come in too, but decide against it. I don’t have any more room and I’m sure that’s implied. If I saw it, I wouldn’t hesitate to contact whoever’s inside. Especially if I was alone.
I don’t worry too much as I badly nail the boards up. The zombies are clearly stupid, and I fully intend to check the area every single day for any replies, or people waiting. I’m so eager to find E, I’m so desperate to know who it is. I want to thank them. I don’t know where I’d be without all of E’s messages. They may not have led me to where they were supposed to, but they did help me find my group. They gave me a reason to carry on.
I rush inside to be met with the loud noise of happy chatter and laughter. Everyone is elated, almost hysterical with our change of fate. For now at least, we’re safe. Right at this moment, everyone can rejoice and celebrate. I smile at the boys. They’re rushing around playing some games, colour finally returning to their cheeks. This is how it’s meant to be. This is how I wanted to live out my zombie apocalypse experience. I thought I wanted it to be all fighting, action, playing the heroine, but now I can see I just need some calm. There needs to be a mix, and as long as I’m with others, the calm part can be just as fun as the action. The relaxing sensation that I’ve taken for granted so many times is all I’ve ever really desired.
I almost skip over to Emily and throw my arm around her shoulders, grinning wildly at her. Suddenly, it feels like everyone turns to stare at us, so I quickly let my arm drop. My heart is racing, her skin felt electric on mine and I realise that I really need to start being careful. This is all going to end in tears and I can’t bear the thought of hurting anyone.
* * *
The days begin to pass in a blur of activity. We all rub along nicely and I’ve even begun to relax a lot more around Emily. I was just being silly, all the heightened emotions were due to the surrounding situation, and it was unfair of me to put any of that on her. We all have jobs and activities to get us through the days. One of mine is checking the fence every day for E. So far, no luck. I haven’t given up hope, though. I’ll find out who E is, even if I eventually have to go out looking. I can sense that this intriguing question will be answered one way or another, so I’m not too impatient.
This place was fully stocked with everything we could possibly need. It even has a generator, but we’re saving that for when it’s really necessary. For when it gets unbearably cold and very dark. Everyone is brighter, lighter, and happier here. The danger feels a thousand miles away. The odd zombie crashes against the fence, but a simple knife to the head through the bars is so easy. I could almost let myself believe that they’re decreasing in numbers, but I don’t want to get too excited, we have no idea what’s going on in the built up areas. Cities could still be absolutely full of zombies.
The boys have the best of both worlds. The safety of indoors, with the ability to play outside. Albeit quietly and supervised, but it’s the best they could hope for in this situation. It’s the closest thing to a normal life we could ever experience in the zombie apocalypse. I actually prefer this life to the one I had before, pre-zombies. I’m starting to find myself, to work out who I really am. I feel like I matter, like I’m finally becoming a ‘real’ person. I feel settled inside myself. It’s amazing how much of my life was spent confused, a turbulent mess, and I didn’t even notice it. I still wish I hadn’t lost my family, but in a way, this is the best thing that could have happened to me.
I’ve confided in Emily how much easier the zombies have become to kill, just as I planned to. She has many theories, of course, which she has tried to confirm whilst Randy, myself, or Pete kill one through the fence. She agrees that they seem to be regressing, falling apart. She thinks that the virus is actually consuming them from the inside out, and soon they’ll completely succumb to it and die out all by themselves. The human body can only take so much damage before it’ll simply give up. Even though that goes against every single thing I know about zombies, I can’t help but feel that she’s right. It
does
comply with everything I’ve seen. I guess I just need to accept that Hollywood doesn’t always get it right.
The most important thing that I can take from this is that we’re going to be the survivors of AM13. It’s looking like we’re going to outlive it. Maybe not getting on the plane was the best thing to happen to me. The people that left the UK could all be dead; we could be all that’s left. And if they do come back, I’m sure they’ll be shocked at how well we’ve done stuck here with nothing.
Everything is just fantastic.
ETHAN
I keep having this odd feeling, like I’m being watched. Like someone is out there, looking for me. Of course, this is just my mind playing games with me, because there
is
no one left! I know that for a fact. If there
was
anyone watching me, they would be infected. In that case, I would be dead already.
I refuse to die here though, out on the streets. That’s not how I’m going to go. I’ve made my plan, and that’s
exactly
how it’s going to work out, I’m certain of it. There is no other solution for me. I can only go when I’ve found her.
Leah.
Leah.
Leah.
I say her name with every step I take, like it’s my new tick. She’s my motivation, my goal. She’s all I need to keep me going. Without that target, I have nothing.
By the time I actually get to Leah, I’m going to be glad of her tearing me apart and killing me—I’ll be begging for it! As long as my plan comes to fruition just as I want it to, I’ll be happy to die. I can’t stand another second in this disease-ridden hell.
Earth is no more. The planet belongs to
them
now. It’s either die or join them. That’s the only options left, and I can’t stand the thought of becoming one of those shuffling, cannibalistic monsters. I wouldn’t be able to cope. Even now, the thought of AM13 coursing through me fills me with an unbridled panic. That’s why my plan is so perfect. Leah has been deprived of a food source for such a long time that she’ll devour me in seconds. It’ll be over before I even know it.
My only problem is it’s taking me forever to get back to my home—to her. I can only move in short bursts because my energy levels are so low. My body has no fuel whatsoever, so it keeps giving up on me. It’s not even like I can keep on going until I can’t anymore, before resting, I always have to have
some
energy in the reserves for when I need to fight. I cannot allow myself to be left with no chance of fighting. That’ll ruin everything I’ve been working so hard to achieve.
I don’t think I’m far though—not anymore. I might even be able to make it within the next 48 hours. A couple more days and I’ll be gone. Not another thought or worry to concern me ever again. Even my booming doomsday voice will be no more. This will be the one thing that silences it forever.
I’m just going to wait here for a little while, just to recover. All I need is a
little
bit more strength before I get up and go again. Then it won’t be long.
Just for a few more moments…