America's Bravest (31 page)

After the Mikey was safely with the others,
Felicia yelled, “I’m ready, unless you need a rest.” Was that a
challenge?

“Nope.” He stretched out on his squatted
again as he had on the roof weeks ago and leaned over the edge of
the shaft. “Come on up.”

She made her way slowly, finding purchase at
odd angles. Two feet. After three she slipped and swore.

Four feet. She was at five when he said,
“Give me your hands.”

She lifted one arm at a time; he grabbed onto
her and pulled her to the top of the shaft, got her head and
shoulders out. Then he grabbed her waist, and with her help and
footing, yanked her all the way out.

Then fell backwards and she landed on top of
him. Without thinking, his arms went around her. When he realized
what he was doing, he couldn’t let go for a second. He locked a
hand at her neck while his other arm banded around her waist. God,
her curves felt familiar. Good. Wonderful.

Felicia sank into him and buried her face in
his neck. And for one moment, he held her close to his heart.

oOo

Ryan was mad at himself because he couldn’t
let go of Felicia yesterday when he’d pulled her out of the shaft.
He’d made a point of staying away from her all morning and at
midday he and Brody were down at the lake showing some kids how to
fish in the shallow part of the lake. It was blessedly cool with
the water lapping at his ankles, and in the shade of a few trees,
so he was trying to enjoy the morning.

“Sound like yesterday was exciting,” his
brother said casually.

He grunted.

“I heard the guys talking last night. They
said you pulled
this broad
out of the pit and you were all
over her afterwards.”

Now he looked up from the hook he was
baiting. “We fell to the ground together. No big deal.”

“Still it sucks. Since you hate her so
much.”

Ryan stalked down the shore leaving Brody
with the guys. He didn’t want to talk about Felicia, think about or
see her. Which was too freaking bad because from this vantage point
he caught sight of her on a sailboat with five other counselors
preparing for a morning sail. The sun cast her in halos. She
shouldn’t be working so hard after her ordeal yesterday. The nurse
had said to lay low for a day, which she probably thought she was
doing. The woman needed somebody to take care of her!

Turning back to his fishing gear, he shook
his head.
Don’t think about her. Just don’t.

After a few minutes, a shout rent the air.
“Felicia, watch out!”

Ryan pivoted in time to see the jib swing
around and catch Felicia on the head. She went over the side of the
boat.

Dropping the pole, he raced to her. In
seconds, all the counselors were in the water—it was shallow—and
had Felicia standing, so he stopped about ten feet away.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Nick asked. The
jerk had been flirting nonstop with her since they got here. Now
his hands were way too close to her breasts.

Dripping with water, she pushed her hair off
her face, revealing a purple bruise at her temple. “My head and
back hurt.”

Nick touched her back, neck to waist. Ryan’s
hands fisted at the thought of this man touching her. Then, an
image of another man four weeks ago swam before him.

When she looked up and saw him, she seemed
startled. But before he walked away, he saw the bleak expression on
her face. Good, let her remember he wasn’t going to forget that
she’d callously been with someone else!

oOo

Two days later, Felicia’s scrapes from the
hiking incident had healed, the bruise on her head turned yellow
and she could participate in physical activities again. She was
looking forward to
doing something
because being sidelined
only gave her time to think about Ryan and how he’d held her after
the pit rescue. She tried to block his accusing expression when
she’d fallen into the lake and Nick had touched her. She
knew
what Ryan was thinking.

From where she stood with a group of kids at
the go carts, she caught sight of him heading to the ropes and
beams course. His strides were long and purposeful, his head down
so that his honey colored hair ruffled in the breeze. Stark pain
shot through her so she turned her attention to the track--it was
small but contained a few dips and turns appropriate for little
kids.

“You go first, Felicia,” one girl suggested.
Her name was Millie and her mom had been a police officer over in
Camden Cove who was killed in a drug bust.

“Sure.” She stuffed her legs into the cart,
put on the head gear and started down the track. The rumble of the
car was low and throaty. It went moderately fast and was kind of
cool. In her peripheral vision, she saw something flying toward
her; it hit her helmeted head with enough impact to knock her out
of the cart and onto the grass. She wasn’t hurt though her skull
reverberated from the impact. The girls raced to her and surrounded
her. “I’m okay,” she said taking off the helmet. “Don’t worry.”

Each of them frowned.

Pushing herself up, she met their gazes.
“We’re going to ride these. It was the football that knocked me
off.” At their doubting faces she said, “Go back to the starting
point. I’ll be right up.” She wanted a minute to collect herself.
Before she could stand, a shadow came over her. She knew
immediately who created it because the wind caught his scent—so
Ryan—and wafted it to her.

Kneeling down, he asked, “Are you all
right?”

“Yeah. Sure. No harm done.”

His eyes were…angry. What the hell? “Jesus,
first the shaft, then the sailboat and now this. What are you
trying to do, get yourself killed?”

“None of those things were my fault.”

Still close to her, he snorted. “You’re going
to be bruised all over before the week’s done.”

Okay, she was sick of his shit. Lifting her
chin, she spat out, “What do you care anyway if I get hurt? You
never talk to me. You look right through me when you pass me
by.”

Out of nowhere, he grabbed her wrist roughly.
“What do you expect me to do after you broke my heart?”

She deflated. What
did
she expect?
What did she want? “I don’t expect anything. I
want
you to
forgive me.”

He stood abruptly. “Not a chance,
Felicia.”

oOo

He and the kids were in the pool and Ryan was
having a hard time keeping his eyes off Felicia as she walked
around the cement lifeguarding. Occasionally, she’d blow a whistle
to keep a kid in line, or she’d stop to talk to one of the little
ones. The gold in her hair caught in the sunlight.

Ryan was playing volleyball on a team mixed
with other counselors and campers. A ball came right at him and he
missed it.

“Heck, Rye, what are you doin’?” This from
Zach Malvaso.

“Sorry.” He’d been watching a sleek black
bathing suit filled with all woman parading before him. “I’m gonna
take a break.”

“Me, too,” Kelly said.

They met at a big plastic tub filled with
towels and she threw one at him. “Catch, handsome.”

“Thanks.”

Drying off, she stretched and her two piece
suit rode up a bit, revealing an un-tanned patch of skin around her
top.

And it did nothing for him.
She
did
nothing for him. Damn it.

“Want a soda?” he asked. “I’m getting
one.”

“Sure.” She sank down on a chaise and tugged
at his hand. “Come sit with me after.”

He smiled. Maybe he
could
be
interested. There was no harm in trying. On his way to the snack
bar, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him off the cement over to
the chain link fence. It was Felicia, with fire in her eyes. “What
are you doing, trying to make me feel even worse?”

He was so incensed, he opened the fence and
dragged her out and over to a tree for privacy. He wanted to push
her against it, take her mouth and kiss her till he didn’t hurt
anymore. But instead, he faced her with his whole body, making her
back up against it. “I think you got that backwards,
sweetheart.”

Her eyes welled. Now that threw him. “I
haven’t been able to eat. To sleep. And now I have to watch you
flirt with everybody in a skinny suit.”

“Nothing less than you deserve.”

“When did you get so cruel, Ryan?”

“When you fucked somebody else after I told
you I loved you. That I wanted a commitment.”

She stilled and her wet eyes widened. “You
didn’t tell me you loved me until the morning after.”

He grabbed her arm. “Why did you do it to us,
Felicia?”

Lifting her chin, she looked like she was
facing down dragons. “Because I was scared.”

“Of my feelings for you?”

“No, of
my
feelings for you.”

He stepped back. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true.” A few tears fell. “Damn you,”
she said, broke away from him and fled down the banked lawn. She
stopped to say something to another woman, who went inside the
fence, presumably to lifeguard and then she disappeared beyond the
road.

“Good,” he told himself as he approached the
soda. Now he didn’t have to deal with her.

But all afternoon he was unable to forget the
sight of her tears. He’d never seen her cry before.

On the last night of camp, a dance was held
in the pavilion. People had dolled up and most of the counselors
wore sundresses or nice pants and shirts. Ryan was in a foul mood
as he approached the gathering place with his brother.

“Sorry you had such a bad week,” Brody
commented. “We should have tried to switch time frames.”

Ryan said, “Yeah, we should have.”

“We didn’t we, Rye?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you knew Felicia was going to be here
and still you didn’t ask to be reassigned.”

He shrugged a shoulder, but his mind whirled
with the question. “We’re not supposed to juggle the schedule. It
gums up the works.”

“Still, we could have tried to find
replacements and subbed for them at the station houses. Why didn’t
we?”

“I don’t know why.”

“I do.”

Ryan stopped, ready to take his frustration
out on the nearest target. “Then enlighten me, wise guy.”

Brody’s eyes flared. “Don’t get on me. I’m
trying to help even though you’re being an asshole.”

“I what?”

“You came this week because you wanted to see
Felicia. Unconsciously, maybe.”

“You make a lousy psychiatrist.”

“I don’t need to be one to see what’s going
on. You’re miserable, you’ve
been
miserable for four weeks
and you’re not getting any better. Plus, you’ve acted like a shit
to her and she’s taken it because you’ve made her feel like a
slut.”

“She is a slut.”

“Jesus Christ. What’s wrong with you? Felicia
is a good woman who made a mistake, by her own admission, because
she was afraid of what you two had together.”

“Then answer me this, Freud. If Emma had
slept with Mark Adams while you were together, would you be so
understanding?”

Brody bristled. “For one thing, you two
weren’t exclusive when she did this. And second, the answer to your
question is, yes, I would have forgiven her, especially knowing
what I know now.”

He felt himself weakening. “What do you
mean?”

“I’d forgive Emma anything if knew I could
have what I have now with her. And I’d be very sorry if I let my
pride prevent me from making a life with her.”

“It’s not pride. I’m hurt, Brody!”

“Yeah, well, welcome to the world of
relationships. Get over your hurt. She’s the right woman for you
and you should be grown up enough to admit it.” With that Brody
stalked away, up the rest of the hill into the pavilion.

Ryan dropped down on a bench off to the side
and stared up at the starry sky. Was Brody right? He’d never even
given Felicia a chance after what she did. He went back over the
chain of events. Should he have kicked Dennison out that morning
and stayed. Instead, he’d told her he loved her then slammed the
door in her face.

I didn’t do it after you told me you
loved me.

Well, hell, that didn’t matter. She knew how
he felt.

Didn’t she?

oOo

The music of a local rock band filled the
pavilion, and people danced on gym-size wooden floor. Felicia wore
a peach sundress and a phony smile and was talking to Nick. He was
flirting and she had to tell him to stop. She’d been bruised and
battered both physically and emotionally all week, and she couldn’t
handle any more stress.

So when he asked her to dance and pulled her
close, she blurted out, “Nick, don’t flirt with me anymore. I’m
coming off a bad breakup and I can’t handle it.”

“Oh, geez, I’m sorry. I like you Felicia, but
sure, I’ll back off. Let’s finish this dance.”

She expected to feel awkward but Nick amused
her by telling her all the reasons he was a good catch and if she
ever got over the other guy, to give him a call. By then end of the
song, she was smiling.

And then she saw Ryan, standing stone still
by the door, watching them. She hoped he left her alone; she didn’t
need any more drama. He’d been horrible to her all week and she
couldn’t take any more of that either. Especially after she begged
him to forgive her.

She watched as he turned away, walked over to
Kelly and drew her to the dance floor. The woman draped herself
over him and he smiled down at her intimately.

A golf ball size of emotion lodged in her
throat. This was it! She was giving up. She couldn’t take the pain
he doled out every time she saw him. Crossing to Megan and Mitch,
Felicia asked if she could speak to Megan outside.

oOo

It was the last Tuck-In of the camp and Ryan
knew Felicia’s girls were the visitors tonight. For the last two
hours, after Brody reamed him out, he’d been thinking about what
he’d done and what he wanted for his life. And as hard as it was to
swallow, he’d decided losing Felicia wasn’t going to cut it. He
wasn’t sure if they could make a go of it, but he was going to have
a long—and kind—talk with her.