America's Bravest (32 page)

They were lined up and waiting for the girls
to come in and already he felt lighter. Happier. More expectant.
The kids trundled through the door led by Jenn. Felicia must be
last. Good, he’d grab her and take her out of the cabin right now.
Talk to her tonight.

But when the line filed down, he saw Megan
taking up the rear. When she got to him, hugged him, he said,
“Where’s Felicia?”

“She’s sick. She left camp about two hours
ago.”

oOo

Once again, Felicia did something totally
unprofessional. But she had to get her act together. So she told
Mitch and Megan she was ill, left camp and got out of Dodge. On
Sunday, she called in sick for her next tour, and on a whim, she’d
flown out to Colorado and surprised her brother, Garth, with a
visit. He’d been overwhelmed, and off duty for a week, so they were
able to get reacquainted. They’d talked on his beautiful deck with
its panoramic view of the mountains, drank wine and walked the
streets of his artsy town. She’d had a good time here, and it made
her feel as if she wasn’t so alone in the world. Sad, but not so
despondent, she was in his spare bedroom packing, ready to face the
world again, when she heard a skirmish out in the living area of
her brother’s home.

Male voices. Loud.

Making her way out of the room and down to
the foyer, she found Ryan and Garth in each other’s faces. Ryan’s
was flushed, but it was Garth who had his hands fisted in Ryan’s
navy shirt. “I’m not letting you anywhere near my sister after what
you’ve done to her. She came to me broken emotionally and battered
physically. And now
you
, the cause of all this, want to
see her? Well, you’ll have to go through me to get to her.”

Uh-oh. She’d shared with Garth what had
happened in her life the last few years. He said he’d been shy of
relationships, too, because smoke jumpers typically feared getting
close to someone. But he’d found love in a cute little nurse and
Felicia would, too.

“I wouldn’t exactly say I was the cause of
her battered appearance. She had a series of misfortunate events
at--”

Garth backed him up to the door. “Don’t give
me shit, O’Malley. I won’t let you hurt her again.”

Instead of fuming or responding physically,
Ryan sank against the door and said simply, “I won’t. I
promise.”

Felicia came fully into the foyer. “Garth,
it’s okay. I’ll talk to him. I’m stronger now.”

It took a while but she got her brother to
back off and led Ryan out to the wide expanse of deck. The sun
shining down on the landscape, but Felicia couldn’t appreciate the
stunning view. Turning, she faced Ryan.

Man, he didn’t look good. Oh, sure, he had
the O’Malley male presence still, but his eyes were bloodshot and
his posture slumped. “Why are you here?” she asked.

He drew in a deep breath. “I’ve been a shit.
I treated you badly and I shouldn’t have, no matter what you
did.”

“Water under the bridge, Ryan.”

“In any case, I’m sorry.” He moved in
closer.

She held out her hand to stop him. “No,
don’t. I’m better now, and I think I can get over you, but I don’t
want to test it right now.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Well, good. You can leave.”

“No, I meant I don’t want you to get over
me.”

Her heart twisted in her chest. “Now that’s
just plain mean.”

“I want you to love me and try to work things
out with me.”

“What?” Her eyes welled. “No, no, Ryan. We’re
done. We both have to face it. I have.”

This time he stepped closer and didn’t stop.
He took her mouth and kissed her, a long devouring kiss that she
fully participated in. Which was why Ryan was shocked when he drew
back to find Felicia crying again.

“Oh, baby, don’t cry. We need to give
ourselves another shot at this relationship. I care too much to let
you go without a fight.”

“B-but what…” Hiccups “What if it doesn’t
work?”

He shrugged a shoulder. “I can’t guarantee it
will, but I think it’s worth the risk. Please, forgive me for being
stubborn and cruel. Please, consider giving us a second
chance.”

For a moment, she simply stood there and
watched him. He thought he might be too late, that he might have
hurt her too much. Then she threw herself into his arms. “All
right, I’ll do it. I’ll take the risk that we can work this
out.”

He kissed her again, this time allowing the
passion he’d kept at bay for weeks to surface. Finally, he dragged
his mouth back. “Damn it, why are we hundreds of miles from our
beds?”

“Speaking of which, how did you find me?”

“No one knew where you were. So I went onto
the police website and tracked your cell phone.”

“Uh-oh, Will Rossettie said not to use those
sites for anything that wasn’t police business.”

He chuckled and cupped her cheeks. “It was a
matter of survival of one of his sergeants. I’m sure Will would
understand.”

Her face bloomed like flowers in the sun. “Do
you really mean that?”

“I do.” And right there on the spot, Ryan
knew he was a changed man and he would try his hardest not to do
anything to make her go away again.

What he didn’t know was Felicia was promising
herself the same thing!

-oOo-

Novella number four in the AMERICA’S
BRAVEST SERIES

Kathryn Shay

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The
Catholic priest said the words with a frown on his face. The scent
of incense lingered in the church, and candles flickered, but
neither soothed fifteen-year-old Tony Ramirez, who’d never been so
scared in his life. But he’d be damned if he’d let his new bride
know. It was bad enough that her mother was crying in the back of
the church. At lease Louisa Cruz had come to the wedding. His own
family hadn’t, though his mom had signed the consent form, needed
because of his age.

Sophia gave him a watery smile. Her thick
black hair curled below her waist, her black eyes were somber and
he thought she’d never looked more beautiful than in the simple
white dress. She was ecstatic to be marrying him but not at having
a baby so soon. Before this mess had happened, she was planning to
go to nursing school after she graduated—she was really smart. Tony
swore he’d get her there, like he promised himself he’d get into
the firefighter program offered at the high school next year. Their
marriage and a baby coming weren’t going to ruin their lives!

He leaned over and kissed her. Then he
whispered, “I love you, Sophia. Nothing means more to me than you,
and we’re gonna have a great life.”

Now her smile was more genuine, and her eyes
sparkled. “I love you, too, Tony. And I’ll do anything to make you
happy.”

As they clasped hands, Tony knew they both
intended to keep those private vows.

Nineteen years later

Breathless, Tony rolled away from his wife
Sophia and stared up at the ceiling in their big bedroom, watching
the fan whir, hearing the crickets chirp in the September
night.

Sophia eased up from the bed and draped
herself over him. She was so beautiful, sometimes it hurt to look
at her. “For a man who just got laid—twice—you don’t seem very
happy.”

He grunted but ran his hand down those
still-long, thick, black locks that felt like silk.

“Antonio, talk to me.”

Because that was part of the problem, he
tried. “I’m bummed about not sleeping in this bed anymore.”

Her features tensed. “We agreed it would be
best if you moved out.”

No
, he thought, angrily, she
demanded he leave the home he loved.
He guessed he should
consider himself lucky to still be making love with her. But
physical contact wasn’t enough. He wanted his family back. Instead
of telling her, he said, “It tears me up,
querida
.”

She mumbled something in Spanish, which he
couldn’t make out, slid off him and stood. Not bothering with
clothes—why would she, her body was perfect—she crossed to the
dresser and pulled out…
Dios Mio
, what the hell? “Why did
you start that? We haven’t smoked since our twenties.” They were
now both thirty-four.

“I don’t know.” She lit up and the acrid
smell of tobacco filled the spaced around him. As a firefighter, he
was used to the stink of it but not in his own bedroom.

“You don’t do this when the kids are home,
right?”

She whirled on him, her hair swinging around
her like a cloak. “Of course I don’t. And never in the bedroom.
You’ve upset me.”

He’d
upset
her
. Oh, that
was rich. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. But when we’re together
like this, I want everything back.”

“So do I,
hombre
.”

He pulled himself up to a sitting position
and leaned against the headboard. “Then let me move back in. We’ll
work all this out from here.” God, he hated that he had to beg.

“Not until you decide.”

Bolting off the bed, he crossed to her and
grasped her shoulders gently, always gently, no matter how angry he
was. “You make me crazy, Sophia
.
How can I pick you or the
fire department? Both are my life.”

Her face crumpled and tears sprang to her
eyes. “I know I’m not being fair. I can’t live with the danger
anymore. First there was 9/11…” the anniversary of the day had
recently passed “…then Sinco four years ago…” where four Hidden
Cove firefighters died “…and then a woman with two kids the same
age as ours died six months ago in Camden Cove.” Because Tony had
known her, they’d gone to the funeral and Sophia had cried the
whole time. “Fuck it, Tony, now there’s an arsonist on the
loose.”

Damn the torch who was targeting the fire
department! He’d lit two more incendiary blazes, sending Sophia
into a tailspin. And this month, a veteran firefighter, Ed Snyder
from Engine 4, had been trapped and suffered from smoke inhalation
and first degree burns that kept him off the line. He was forced to
help out at the Fire Academy. But to Tony, the worst involved
Sydney, his closest friend in the department, who had gotten a
shoulder injury in one of the blazes that was purposely set.

No doubt about it, there was more danger
these days in the profession than when he started at eighteen.

But it was a profession he loved almost as
much as the woman before him.

“I know the arson thing is a problem.” He
kissed her shoulder, then nodded to the cigarettes. “Give me one of
those.”

They put on robes and went outside to a patio
right off their bedroom. He and his group at Firehouse 7 had built
this area and a couple of decks that sprawled off the home he and
Sophia had bought ten years ago when Miguel came along.

For some reason, he thought about another
baby who had never been born. Sophia had experienced a lot of loss
in her thirty-four years, but none had been as devastating as the
stillbirth of their first child. Though they’d had two more, the
tragedy scarred her.

Among other things.

They sat at a teak table he’d refinished
right before he left the house and smoked in silence. The cigarette
tasted like shit but it calmed him. She butted hers out. “Look, can
we keep trying? You only moved out two weeks ago.”

Into Brody O’Malley’s side of the duplex he’d
shared with his brother Ryan. Brody had been living with the love
of his life, Emma, for a while now. “I know it hasn’t been very
long. So
I’ll
keep trying to figure things out. What about
you?”

“Me?”

“Have you given any thought to seeing a
counselor?”

She shook her head. “I don’t need counseling,
Tony. I need to come home from work and know you’re safe. I need
you to not miss birthdays and anniversaries. I need you to talk to
me like you talk to Sydney. Or the guys.”

This was new. “Where the hell did that all
come from?”

“I’ve been writing in a journal. The other
things sort of came out.”

“
Jesús
, I never knew you resented my
crew. The team thinks you’re the best wife a firefighter could
have.”

“I’ve been playacting at that. At a lot of
things.”

Well,
he thought,
join the
club.
He’d been pretending all his life, first with his
mother, then Sophia and the kids, even at work. Nobody, not even
this woman, who he’d loved since he was fourteen, knew the real
Antonio Ramirez.

He wasn’t even sure who that guy was
anymore.

oOo

“I miss Daddy.” Marianna, their
eight-year-old daughter, got teary as she pushed away the oatmeal
Sophia had made for breakfast. Petite with pretty waist-length
hair, sometimes she cried at night for her father.

“I know,
niña.
I do, too.”

Miguel scowled like his dad. He was the
spitting image of Tony—dark hair clipped short, black eyes,
beautiful olive skin. And he was almost taller than her. “Then why
isn’t he living at home? I heard him here last night.”

From the counter, Sophia finished packing
lunches. “We told you both, sometimes adults have to spend time
apart to figure things out.”

“What are you figuring out?” Miguel
persisted.

“It’s personal stuff, baby.”

He looked like he was going to argue more, so
she said, “Hurry up, now. The bus is coming soon.”

After she bade them good-bye at the curb, she
slid into her little red Civic and headed toward Hidden Cove
Hospital. She longed for a cigarette but had promised herself she’d
only smoke when she was home alone and stressed. Or lonely. Damn,
what a mess things were. She and Tony had spent so long, worked so
hard, building a good life together, and now she was blowing it.
For what?

They’re called panic attacks,
Sophia,
a colleague at the hospital had said to her.
My
guess is something in your life isn’t being dealt with.