America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 2: Reenlistment (8 page)

I could not understand most of what the
driver said. My head was spinning, and I was about to fall over. I
urinated on the side of the car as he rolled up his windows and
drove off. I fell backwards.

“Do you think we should assist Washington?”
asked Corporal Kool, as he peered over the cab divider at the fight
in the front seat. Washington appeared to be losing.

“Yes, help me!” pleaded Private Washington.
“Help! Get them off me!”

“No, don’t interfere,” said Lieutenant Lopez,
as he watched the movie. It was a war movie. It upset Lieutenant
Lopez because the spiders were winning. “Spiders have rough mating
rituals. Private Washington is having the time of his life.”

“That is so hot,” said Corporal Kool, still
peering at the fight.

“Help me,” cried Private Washington,
again.

Lieutenant Lopez fired a burst from his
machine gun at the movie screen. Then he fell back into the bed of
the armored car, excusing his action with, “Damn spiders were
overrunning our position. I had to do something.”

Corporal Kool turned his attention to
Corporal Ceausescu. She was snuggled up against Sergeant Green. An
angry spider a few cars down threw a vodka bottle at the armored
car, but Corporal Kool didn’t much care. “Hey Elena, want to do a
threesome?”

“Gross!” said Corporal Ceausescu. “Not if you
were the last pig in the galaxy.”

Private Nesbit asked Jan if she wanted to
walk with him to the concession stand to buy some popcorn. She said
yes, and they walked off together hand in claw.

I was still lying on my back. Bam approached
me, but I drew my pistol and aimed it at her. She pouted and went
back to the armored car where she snuggled in against
Ceausescu.

“You humans are so hot-blooded,” said Bam.
“It is like going to bed with my very own hot rock.”

“I am a female,” said Corporal Ceausescu.
“Get your claw off my ass.”

“Excuse me,” said Bam, now frustrated. “I
could not tell the difference because you dress the same and your
markings are hard to read.”

“I think you are so hot,” said Corporal Kool,
as he handed Bam another beer. “Give me a kiss.”

“You are just the cutest little fuzz ball I
have ever met,” said Bam, as she wrapped eight arms and legs around
Corporal Kool. They rolled out of the car and onto the ground.

Sam leered at Tonelli, Williams, and Lopez.
“What is a girl going to do with so much variety?” she asked. “I
will take all three of you.”

“I am not drunk enough,” replied Guido, when
Sam gazed at him.

“It would be a sin,” added Lieutenant Lopez,
crossing himself as he pulled himself back up to the machine
gun.

“A coward and a religious fanatic,” commented
Sam, shaking her head in disapproval. Her eyes locked on
Williams.

“You are all mine,” said Private Williams,
sounding off with another rebel yell as they embraced and fell
over.

“That is disgusting,” said Corporal Ceausescu
as she and Sergeant Green left to find some privacy on a blanket
underneath the armored car.

“It’s the cops!” warned Lopez, aiming his
machine gun at the police car. The police car approached with blue
lights flashing.

Two newly appointed spider deputy sheriffs
got out of the police car. I staggered up to them and gave the
largest one a hug. “I am so glad you came,” I slurred. “Someone
threw a vodka bottle at our car.”

“Who fired the machine gun at the movie
screen?” asked one of the deputies.

“I don’t know,” said Lopez, still using the
machine gun to hold himself up. “I think the screen already had
holes in it before we arrived.”

“That’s right,” said Corporal Kool. “It
did.”

Pam popped her head out the window and
shouted, “Go away! We are busy!”

“I noticed you all have been drinking,” said
the spider deputy sheriff. “Do you have an alcohol permit?”

“Do you have a permit to ask stupid
questions?” I asked back.

“We don’t need no stinking permits,” added
Lieutenant Lopez.

Corporal Ceausescu, who was still under the
armored car, got quite upset about being interrupted. She used her
rifle butt to reach out and strike the deputy sheriff in the ankle.
He hopped away from the car, yelling in pain. “You are under
arrest,” said the spider deputy sheriff. “Come out from under
there!”

“Try and come under here and get me,”
challenged Corporal Ceausescu. “You think you’re male enough?”

“No one is under arrest,” I slurred. “We are
an army of occupation. You cannot arrest us.”

“Civil authority has been established in
Disneyland, and the Legion is leaving,” said the spider deputy
sheriff. “We have elected a new mayor and a new sheriff. I have the
authority to arrest all of you.”

“Either no one gets arrested, or we all get
arrested,” I said. “We are the Legion. We will not let you take one
of us without a fight from all of us.”

The spider deputy sheriff drew his pistol.
Lieutenant Lopez aimed his machine gun. Everyone else that wasn’t
passed out reached for their assault rifles.

“Now take it easy,” I said. “She is just a
girl. You don’t want to arrest a girl, do you? Drunk females are
more trouble than they’re worth.”

“You let a girl kick your ass,” baited
Corporal Ceausescu. “Come on. You want a piece of me?”

The spider deputy sheriff looked closer at
Corporal Ceausescu. She vomited on Sergeant Green, who was now
passed out. “The theater manager wants all of you out of here,”
said the spider deputy sheriff. “Leave! Do it now. And don’t come
back.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said, as I tried to hug
the deputy again.

He gave me a shock with his electric baton.
“No hugs!”

Everyone gathered up their clothes, and we
left. Private Williams threw a beer bottle at a spider police car
as we passed by. We dropped the spider babes off at a Denny’s
Restaurant.

“I promise to write,” said Pam as she waved
at Private Washington.

“Bye honey,” yelled Fran.

“I love you,” called out Private Williams as
we left town. He let out another rebel yell.

About two hundred miles outside of town,
Sergeant Green woke up. He immediately started counting bodies.
Someone was missing. “Where is Nesbit?” he asked.

“Getting popcorn?” said Private Williams.

“Captain! We are missing Private Nesbit,”
said Sergeant Green.

“Good,” said Lieutenant Lopez. “I hope he
gets arrested.”

“We need to go back and find him,” insisted
Sergeant Green. “The insurgents might get him.”

“Jan will get him first,” said Corporal
Ceausescu. “A fate worse than death.”

“To hell with Nesbit,” I said. “He is a fool,
anyway. I’ll radio for the MPs to pick him up. Nesbit can join us
later with the engineers.”

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CHAPTER 7

The north of New Colorado was a vast
unexplored forest wilderness. Along the North Highway there was no
traffic because there were no services. Gasoline was airlifted to
predetermined locations. We could have been airlifted ourselves,
but I thought a road trip would be more fun. After combat, my
troops needed to unwind. I needed to unwind. Yesterday at the
movies was part of my plan. This drive would be the rest of it.
Also, General Kalipetsis wanted the North Highway checked for signs
of insurgents and bandits. About eight hundred miles into the trip,
we came upon a spider and his donkey. He looked just like an Old
West prospector, complete with overloaded pack animal.

“What is the human pestilence doing up here?”
asked the prospector. “Is the Legion trying to start another
war?”

“The war already happened,” I explained. “It
is over now.”

“I missed it. Oh well, no big deal,” said the
prospector. “I guess Arthropoda lost, or you would not be here on
our side of the DMZ. Why are you here? Sightseeing?”

“Looking for insurgents. Have you seen
any?”

“I thought you said the war was over.”

“Some are slow learners,” said Sergeant
Green.

“There is no one up here except me and Shaky
Jake,” said the prospector, patting his donkey. “It gets too damn
cold up here in the winter for most city boys.”

“Are you prospecting for gold?” asked
Lieutenant Lopez.

“He ain’t too bright, is he?” asked the
prospector. “Of course I am looking for gold. Why else would I
freeze my mandibles off digging in the cold hard ground?”

“Find any gold?” I asked.

“Now that is for me to know and for you to
not find out,” said the prospector. “You have to have a special eye
to find gold on New Colorado. How long are you going to be up here
poking your snout where it don’t belong?”

“Maybe a few months,” I said. “We will be
security for the new bridge they are going to build at Finisterra.
You will be seeing the engineers trucking their heavy equipment
through here in about a week.”

“There goes the neighborhood,” said the
prospector. “I’ll give you some advice since we are going to be
neighbors. First thing, you tell those engineers when you see them
to build you some cabins. And you might ask them to bring some warm
clothes, too. It’s going to be getting real cold up here,
soon.”

“How cold is real cold?” asked Corporal
Tonelli.

“Cold enough to make a black and green
popsicle out of that dragon of yours. He is not going to be happy
up here. Keep that monster away from my donkey.”

“I’ve been feeding Spot dog food because he
is not allowed to eat humans or spiders anymore,” said Tonelli. “He
does seem to have taken an interest in your donkey.”

“Just turn him loose when you get to where
you are going,” said the prospector. “He can eat all the deer he
wants. They are everywhere. Maybe he will share a venison steak
with you. It’s real tasty.”

“You can eat deer?” asked Tonelli. “Are they
dangerous?”

“Tonelli has led a sheltered life,” said
Private Williams. “Of course you can eat deer. I’ll take you
hunting with me.”

“Just be careful and on the lookout for Big
Foot,” warned the prospector.

“There is no such thing as Big Foot,” I said.
“Big Foot is just an Old Earth legend.”

“We have the same legend on Arthropoda. You
are probably right,” said the prospector. “But there is something
out there. I have heard it scream at night. And, I have seen gutted
deer.”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough ghost stories around
the campfire,” said Corporal Ceausescu. “Let’s get going. This
place gives me the creeps.”

“How about selling me one of those gold pans
hanging from your donkey?” asked Corporal Kool. “I’ll give you
twenty dollars for it.”

“I have no use for money out here,” said the
prospector. “Trade me something.”

“How about this?” asked Corporal Kool,
handing the prospector a grenade. “It might be useful if you ever
come face to face with Big Foot.”

“Son, throw in your hat and you just bought
yourself a gold pan,” said the prospector.

* * * * *

Finisterra was nothing more than a fork in
the river. We set up tents and portable heaters. A snowflake
occasionally dropped from the overcast sky. I walked down to the
river bank where the bridge construction would begin. Survey
markers and posts were already in place. To my left a grenade went
off in the water. I dropped into the mud for cover.

“Don’t worry, it was just me,” reassured
Corporal Kool. “I was fishing.”

“Get any?” asked Private Williams as he ran
up to the river bank.

“Almost. It was this long,” said Corporal
Kool, gesturing about three feet. “But it got away.”

As I angrily picked myself up out of the blue
clay, I noticed something shiny in the water and picked it up. It
was a gold nugget about the size of a door knob. I washed it off
and put the nugget into my grenade pouch. I looked about for more
gold but didn’t find any. No one had noticed my discovery.

“Captain, are you okay?” asked Corporal Kool.
“Sorry if I startled you.”

“Private Williams!” I yelled. “You take
Corporal Kool north along the river and show him the proper way to
fish. No more grenades!”

“Yes, sir,” said Private Williams. “That is
the best order I’ve been given since I joined the Legion.”

“We better get going before he changes his
mind,” suggested Corporal Kool. “Or before Sergeant Green sees us
and puts us to work again.”

I called Battalion Headquarters on the radio
to check in. I told the engineers I wanted cabins built because it
was about to snow. When they asked if I wanted anything else built,
I said I wanted a large lodge, a well for the plumbing, generators,
swimming pool, and a hot tub. I then E-mailed the County Clerk in
Disneyland and filed a miner’s claim. I also filled out an
application to buy Finisterra under the newly passed Homestead Act
of New Colorado.

* * * * *

Team Leader #4 of the Arthropodan Special
Forces had orders to resupply the insurgency with arms, and to
destabilize the North. He also brought twenty-five Special Forces
advisors to help train the locals. At first the Emperor was
reluctant to violate the terms of the peace treaty. But after the
prison massacre at Disneyland, there was a public outcry to do
something. Also, it grated on the Emperor that uranium and oil
deposits had just been discovered in the North. The human
pestilence was keeping the discovery a secret because they knew
some of those profits belonged to the Arthropodan corporation that
sent geologists to the North in the first place.

#4 brought assault rifles, machine guns,
RPGs, armored piercing rockets, land mines, and SAMs. #4 gave the
local dragon leader the weapons and cached them in hidden bunkers
along the North Highway. Apparently the insurgency had just been
run out of town, and the Lion of the Forest was dead. They were
eager for payback.