Read An Enormously English Monsoon Wedding Online

Authors: Christina Jones

Tags: #Fiction, #General

An Enormously English Monsoon Wedding (19 page)

‘Let me do something to help.’ Kam slid in behind the bar. ‘It’s madness in here today. I’ve never worked in a bar, so I’m probably rubbish at serving people or pouring drinks, but I can collect glasses, take food orders, operate the washing-up machine and get ice and slice lemons and –’

‘Are you sure? You’ve been in surgery all morning. You must be exhausted.’

‘I’m fine – and Milo is doing well now. And Bella and Renata will ring me if they need me to check on him before Jay gets back.’

‘I thought vets were never off-duty? I know Jay works all hours and is constantly called out. Many’s the time he’s been in the middle of a meal here with Erin and had to drop everything and dash off.’

Kam nodded. ‘It’s hardly a nine-to-five profession, true. And yes, I’m on call, but my mobile’s switched on, so unless I get a shout, I’m all yours.’

‘Then you’ve got a job,’ Gina said quickly. ‘Dive in. Pint pulling is easy once you get the hang of it – there’s a slop bucket for your mistakes. Anything you don’t understand, don’t bother asking.’

Kam laughed, deftly removed the glasses from her hands and slotted them into the washer. ‘So if I’m chief bottle washer, who’s the cook?’

‘Oh, that’s me as well.’ Gina grinned, pouring three pints of beer from separate taps at the same time. ‘Why? Are you a closet Jamie Oliver?’

‘God, no. Can’t cook, won’t cook,
that’s me. You need more staff. You can’t do all this alone.’

‘Bless you.’ Gina swept the three perfectly poured pints of beer onto the countertop, took the money, played chopsticks on the till’s buttons and dispensed the correct change. ‘I’m not doing it alone. I’ve got Sam and Pearl. And I’ve probably been doing this since before you went to uni. It’s second nature.’

‘Nonsense. Oh, not the second nature bit, that’s all too obvious. But the other.’ Kam chopped lemons and limes into chunks. ‘Unless you were serving in a pub while you were in infants school, of course.’

‘Flattery,’ Gina chuckled as she eased past him to head for the kitchen, then stopped again to serve the never-ending flow of customers, ‘will get you everywhere. And, as you’re a surgeon, could you slice the lemons and limes a bit more delicately, rather than hacking at them like that? They go further sliced.’

‘OK. Sorry. But seriously, you need a break.’ Kam sliced diligently, piled the fruit into the tray and reached for the ice bucket. ‘Do you ever take time off?’

‘Course I do. Every night at closing time.’

‘You never have an evening off?’

‘Very rarely. Not ever when it’s busy like this.’

‘Take one.’

‘Are you mad? Look at this place.’

‘OK – but soon? Take an evening off.’

Was he asking her out? As if! Gina didn’t answer him. She could make a complete fool of herself here. Again.

‘Impossible. Right –’ Gina
eyed the sea of customers ‘– who’s next?’

Kam shrugged and disappeared to refill the ice bucket.

Phew.

One day though, Gina thought as she served non-stop on autopilot, maybe she’d take Kam’s advice and surprise everyone and down tools for the night. Obviously not for a date with Kam, but maybe just to do nothing at all.

She’d taken evenings off for Doug occasionally, although their dates had usually been late-night affairs after closing time. Still, dates with Doug, late or not, were never going to happen again, were they?

Maybe one day perhaps she’d find a nice experienced couple to take over the Merry Cobbler for a fortnight and she’d disappear to the Caribbean … Well, OK, maybe not the Caribbean, that might be a little bit too ambitious for someone who’d never travelled outside Europe, but then, why not? What was to stop her? What was to keep her in Nook Green anyway?

Not Doug any more, that was for sure.

Gina pushed her way into the kitchen and set about microwaving a potato, assembling a prawn Marie Rose and tossing several salads.

Anyway, she would be taking a whole day off soon, wouldn’t she? On the day of Jay and Erin’s wedding she was closing the pub and not even bothering to look for a stand-in manager.

Most of the village would be at the Swan, either for the entire day, or at least the evening. There wouldn’t be any customers here – and she’d have a whole day off.

Ah, bit of a flaw there … She’d been invited as Doug’s plus one, hadn’t she? And now she was Doug’s minus one, and there’d be someone else in her place. And she simply couldn’t bear that.

The realisation hit her like a solar-plexus punch.

‘Sod it!’

She piled the plates onto a tray, walked backwards through the kitchen door and yelled unnecessarily loudly at Sam.

‘Sam! When you’ve got a
minute! Service for table eight outside!’

‘And manners don’t cost nothing neither.’ Sam, wizened and lined, with little tufts of gingery hair appearing in odd patches – more oddly on his face than his head – giving him a sort of malevolent goblin look, grabbed the tray from her and started to shuffle off through the throng. ‘Please and thank-you gorn out of fashion, has they?’

‘Sorry, Sam,’ Gina groaned as he disappeared. ‘I’m turning into a bitch. And it’s all Doug’s bloody fault.’

Kam, squeezing past from the cellar with unopened bottles of Chardonnay in each hand, looked at Gina in surprise. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Sorry, yes.’ Gina clutched a handful of empty glasses. ‘Don’t take any notice of me. I’m absolutely fine. What about you? Not too crazy for you, is it?’

‘No way. I absolutely love it. I think I might have found my true vocation.’

‘Good.’ Gina smiled. ‘Because I was wondering if you’d mind hanging on and helping out, at least until the rush dies down.’

Kam pushed the wine bottles into the chiller cabinet. ‘I’ll work for as long as you need me.’

‘Thanks. You’re a lifesaver. Oooh, sorry – yes, you are, aren’t you? So that’s a bit clichéd.’

‘I love a good cliché,’ Kam laughed. ‘And actually, I’m really enjoying this. I’ll be happy to help out anytime I’m free and you’re short-staffed.’

‘I think I’m just going to do a cartwheel of happiness,’ Gina giggled. ‘And you’ll certainly bring the girls in. I can just see Sophie and Bella and the rest propping up the bar now, simply ogling. You’ll increase my profits no end.’

‘I’m looking forward to the cartwheel. Let
me take those glasses … thanks. And I think you’re overestimating my appeal.’

‘Rubbish – you know Sophie and Bella both fancy you like mad.’

‘I couldn’t possibly comment.’

Gina looked at Kam, now bending down to restock the glass-washer. She really couldn’t blame them. He was definitely the most divine man she’d ever seen.

The afternoon buzzed busily on and Kam, Gina noticed happily, was a very quick learner, the slop bucket wasn’t too full, and the customers seemed to like him a lot.

Not just a pretty face then.

‘So, where’s Nalisha this afternoon?’ Gina queried as she and Kam criss-crossed behind the bar. ‘I know I’m probably the only one in Nook Green who understands the friendship and doesn’t find it odd that she’s staying with Jay, but I hope she hasn’t gone to the wedding planning with them.’

‘No. Even more bizarre than that. She’s apparently up at the village hall with whoever holds the key and is in charge, making arrangements to start a Bollywood dance class. Or at least that was what I heard from Callum Prior when he came in just now for a much-needed alcopop.’

‘Really?’ Gina laughed. ‘We’re going bhangra, are we? Well, it’ll make a nice change from Billy Ray Cyrus. I might even be up for that.’

Kam grinned. ‘And I’ll come
along and watch – but dance? No way? I’ve had my fill of Indian dancing. It was compulsory at every bloody wedding and party I’ve ever attended, and I’ve definitely got two left feet. Anyway, according to Callum, Nalisha has made arrangements with Doug to decorate the hall with some Indian statues and …’

Gina listened, while pouring shandies and lager tops, to some amazing cock-and-bull story about an entire army of life-sized Indian gods and goddesses and how Doug was involved.

‘… oh, and sorry,’ Kam looked contrite as he finished, ‘Erin told me about you and her uncle. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything about that part of it.’

‘No you’re fine. Doug’s history.’ Gina smiled, creating the perfect creamy head complete with shamrock on the perfect pint of Guinness. ‘And Doug always did have a way of buying completely useless tat and then somehow emerging quids in. The statues sound amazing.’

‘They do, and if you could allow yourself a few seconds away from this place, you could see for yourself.’

Gina shook her head. She’d love to see these wondrous Indian statues, but it’d have to wait until Nalisha had managed to move them to the village hall. She could hardly drift over to the Old Curiosity Shop any more and just smile at Doug and say she was popping into the yard to admire his latest acquisitions.

She’d never be able to just pop over the green to see Doug again.

Goodness me. She gave herself a good mental shake. She’d always been a glass-half-full girl and no one, especially not Doug Boswell, was going to change that.

‘According to Callum,’ Kam continued ‘Nalisha’s been busy finding anyone with transport and is intending to move the statues into the hall later. We could go and help.’

Gina nodded slowly, savouring the ‘we’.

‘We could, couldn’t we? Sam
and Pearl could cope without me for half an hour or so, I’m sure. Yes, OK, let’s do it.’

Was she going mad? She’d never left the Merry Cobbler on a whim before. Ever. She looked again at Kam and decided she was probably going very mad indeed.

‘Great – and actually, there’s something else I want to talk to you about, and that will be the perfect opportunity. Away from the pub and the customers.’

Gina smiled. ‘That sounds – oh, what the hell?’

There was a sudden howl of anguish from the other end of the bar.

Gina stopped smiling. ‘Oh, damn, could you go and see what Pearl wants, there’s a sweetheart. I’m guessing it’s a barrel change, so tell her I’ll be there in a minute.’

‘OK. But is changing a barrel something I can do?’

‘I’m sure you’ll be able to do it with your eyes shut – get Pearl to tell you what to do. She knows well enough, she’s just not strong enough to manage it herself. Thanks, you’re a star.’

Then feeling very hot, wondering what on earth Kam wanted to talk about, and pretty sure she was going to make a huge fool of herself – again – Gina tried not to think of exactly why she would be skiving off and going to the village hall tonight. She knew it had very little to do with the Indian statues …

Oh goodness, she thought, pouring two white wine spritzers, get a grip, woman. He’s not interested in you. Never will be. Grow up.

Taking the money for the drinks, she pasted on her best landlady smile.

‘All done – it was easy
once Pearl told me what to do – and we didn’t flood the cellar or anything. I’ve got another string to my bow,’ Kam said happily as he came back up the steps with a simpering Pearl. ‘And that’s scary.’

‘What?’

‘The grimace. It’s scary.’

Gina chuckled. ‘Really? I was trying to look cheerful.’

‘You always look cheerful. You’ve got a gorgeous smile. You really don’t need to do the grimace thing.’

‘It wasn’t a grimace thing. It was a welcoming smile.’

‘Looked like a grimace to me.’

She laughed. ‘And I take back all I said earlier. You’re no lady-killer if that’s an example of your chat-up lines.’

‘One of my best, actually. So, why were you grimacing? Was it because I mentioned Doug earlier? Or because you don’t really want to come to the village hall?’

‘No! I-was-not-grimacing. I’m smiling. There. Look. Now, what have we got there on the order spike? Four lots of fish and chips – OK – microwave here I come again.’

‘Oh, if it’s microwaved I can manage that.’

‘Sadly, you can’t. You need a basic health and hygiene certificate even to set foot in the kitchen. You just carry on being the best-looking cellar man I’ve ever had.’

‘Duh!’ Kam laughed. ‘I spent over six years training as a vet, only to be labelled a cellar man, did I? But I do like the “best-looking” though.’

‘Barmaid’s patter,’ Gina said quickly. ‘Blarney. Stock phrases.’

‘Damn. OK, I know my place. I’ll just go and collect some more glasses then and remember to tug my forelock.’

Gina laughed as he vanished between the crowded tables and she started, again, to serve the never-ending stream of customers.

‘Sam!’ Gina hollered down the
bar. ‘G&T, ice and a slice, four times, for ladies in the beer garden! Sorry, I’ve got fish and chips to do and everyone else is busy.’

Sam shuffled along the bar and cleared his throat loudly as he reached for suitable glasses. ‘Ah, right. No sweat, love. He’s a good worker that Kam, but what did I tell you? It’s getting more like bleeding Bollywood every day in here.’

‘Do-not-be-racist!’ Gina hissed, heading for the kitchen.

‘Ain’t being racist,’ Sam grunted, swiftly managing to assemble a clutch of exquisite G&Ts. ‘Merely stating a fact. And now we’re having Indian gods and what have you in the village ’all, saints preserve us.’

‘Were you listening in on my conversation?’

‘Nah. I ain’t got time for that. Young Callum Prior told me. See, now that young N’lisha’s got her claws into the Yee-Hawers, you mark my words, the whole village’ll be like bleeding
Goodness Gracious Me
in no time.’

‘Now you
are
being racist.’

‘Nah, I ain’t. That were Peter Sellers and Sophia Loren. It were lovely. Nothing racist there at all.’

‘An entire bloody generation ago!’ Gina hissed. ‘Things were different then. Oh, let me get these fish and chips done. Sam, serve the ladies outside, and just try to be nice to people.’

‘I allus try.’ Sam grinned gummily at her. ‘I’m a godsend, I am.’

Gina laughed and crashed through the kitchen door, now horribly aware that there was absolutely no one left behind the bar except Kam and Part-time Pearl who had been coyly telling him she thought she had a touch of malaria and was about to pass out.

She hoped Kam could cope on both counts
and thought he probably could. Kam, she thought, as she counted out frozen cod fillets and grabbed a massive bag of chips, could clearly cope with anything.

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