An Officer but No Gentleman (32 page)

37

Charlie held onto her veil as the wind picked up and the sailors prepared the ship to make way.

“Take off the veil and I’ll put it in our cabin,” Jaxon said tired of watching her struggle with it.

Charlie smiled. She liked the way he so easily referred to it as their cabin.  “Thank you,” she said divesting herself of the troublesome veil.  “Have any of my jackets or coats been delivered to the ship?”

“I bet I can find you something. I’ll be right back,” he said and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Charlie, Charlie!” Jaxon heard Sloane and Grace yelling, drawing her attention as he took the troublesome headpiece below.  They would keep her occupied until he returned.

Jaxon stepped into the corridor and found two men he didn’t know there.  They were big men and each wore a gun on his hip. They stood with arms akimbo blocking the door to his quarters.

“Who are you and what the devil are you doing in here?”

“Mr. Bloodworthy told us not to let anyone in here.”

“I’m
Captain
Bloodworthy.  This is my ship and
that
is my cabin.”

“Mr. Bloodworthy said
no one
.”

“
Which
Mr. Bloodworthy?”

On deck, Charlie tried to figure out which twin sister was which.  The girls giggled and whispered to each other.  Suddenly a hand covered Charlie’s eyes and another arm went around her waist pulling her against his body.

“Guess who, baby,” came a familiar male voice, that if she hadn’t known better, she could have easily mistaken for Jaxon.

“Damn it, Grayson!  Get your hands off me!”

“Grayson?  Baby, how could you think I’m Grayson?” he asked not uncovering her eyes.  “Maybe you should kiss me to make sure.”

In a second’s time, she had his arm twisted behind his back.

“Never, Grayson.”

“Ow, leave off, Charlie.  I was just playing around.”

Charlie, suddenly realizing that all the wedding guests were watching, let go of Grayson’s arm.  “This is not the place or the time, Gray, unless you’ve come to apologize.”

“Let’s go below so we can talk privately.  I have a surprise for you.”

Charlie hesitated. Considering his accusations and demeanor before he left, she didn’t trust this new friendly Grayson.  Whatever he was up to, she’d rather deal with it below in private than in front of everyone. Besides, that’s where Jaxon had gone and she preferred to have him by her side while Grayson sprung his little surprise.

“Jaxon!”  Charlie called seeing him racing up from below still holding the veil.  His expression dark as he spotted his twin with his wife.

“Gray, what is the meaning of this?”

Grayson put his hand on Charlie’s back, compelling her forward.

“This is between my client and me, Jax.  May we use your cabin?”

“She’s my wife now.”

Grayson shook his head, his lip twitched upwards into a smirk.  “Actually, I doubt that. I’m guessing it’s not quite legal.”

Charlie saw Jaxon pale and felt sick herself.  She held her hand out to Jaxon.  “Jax is coming with us.  I don’t trust you and I have no intention of being alone in a room with you, Grayson.”

Jaxon allowed Charlie to go below first then pushed his way between his wife and his twin.  Charlie stopped dead in her tracks seeing the two men guarding the door.

“Who…?”

“Deputy Marshalls is all I could get out of them,” Jax said.

Charlie understood without having to be told that Grayson had brought them with him.  He was having her arrested for killing her mother and Gertie.  She felt the tears welling up in her eyes.  This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life and Grayson had pulled the rug out from under her. No wonder he seemed happy.  He planned to send her to go to jail. Parading her in front of all Jaxon’s friends and family would have the added bonus of humiliating Jaxon as well.

She wished to heaven,
she had told Jaxon everything so he would not be blindsided by this.  Perhaps she should be thankful if what Grayson had said was true about the marriage was not being legal, at least then, Jaxon would have a graceful way to distance himself.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly to Jaxon.  “I know this is little consolation
, but I love you and I never meant to hurt you.”

“Charlie?”

Jaxon grabbed her elbow and pulled her into Daniel’s former cabin, slamming the door behind him and leaving Grayson and the deputies in the passageway.

“Charlie, I asked you when Grayson left if there was anything he was going to find out that I should know and you told me there wasn’t.”

Charlie bit her lip.  “I should have told you, but I couldn’t because I was afraid I’d lose you.  I’m so ashamed of it.  I prayed every night that he wouldn’t find out.  It never occurred to me he’d bring the law with him.”

She had never seen Jaxon so angry.  His lips were pressed together tightly and his eyes narrowed under a knitted brow. He released his grip and crossed his arms over his chest as pulled back half a step as if standing close to her disgusted him.

“This is your last chance to tell me before he does.”  His voice was as cold as his eyes.

Charlie choked back the lump in her throat.  Her lower lip trembled.  “I need to sit down,” she said weakly. “I don’t feel well.”

Jaxon waited while she found a seat on the stripped bunk.  She folded her hands in her lap and stared at the floor. 

“This is about the fire.”

“The fire? When you were five?”

Jaxon felt the ang
er drain from him. He knew whatever prompted Grayson to bring two deputy marshals with him; it had nothing to do with the fire. However, if she wanted to tell him, he would listen. He pulled a nearby chair over and sat down facing her.

“Aye.  There’s no statute of limitation on murder, Jaxon. I always knew it would catch up to me. I just hoped after all these years
, maybe they forgot.”

“Start at the beginning.”

“My mother and Gertie, our housekeeper, were canning apple butter in the kitchen. It took all day, or at least it seemed like all day to me. My mother sliced a loaf of bread, spread it with apple butter and gave it to me. I still remember the way it tasted.” Charlie closed her eyes. To this day she could not stomach apple butter. Just the sweet smell of apples and cinnamon brought back the memories and made her sick to her stomach.

“Later, I must have been getting underfoot. She spoiled me terribly and not having Mama’s attention all day made me act up. When I wouldn’t behave
, she put me to bed. It must have been earlier than usual because I was wide awake and after just a few minutes, I got out of bed. I wanted to play with my paper dolls, but it was dark in my room so I snuck downstairs with them. A lantern lit in the back parlor so I went in there. If I remember correctly, the formal dining room was between the back parlor and the kitchen and you had to go into the hallway to get into the dining room.

“I had only been in the room a minute before the two pups started scratching and whining at the glass doors. They were at least six months old so they were pretty big. I tried to ignore them
, but they wouldn’t stop. They should have been in the kennel with the other hounds, but sometimes they dug under the fences and got out. I knew I wasn’t supposed to let them in the house, but I loved playing with the dogs when my mother would let me.”

“You let them in?”

“Aye. I couldn’t control them. They were rambunctious and running around the room and jumping on me. Then one of them caught me off balance and knocked me into the little pedestal table where the kerosene lamp burned.”

Charlie stopped. She took a deep breath and slowly released it out her mouth before continuing. Jaxon moved to her side. He stretched one arm around her shoulder and set his other hand on hers.

“The lamp hit the fireplace bricks and shattered. One second the smell of kerosene filled the air, a second later the room was ablaze.” Charlie shook her head as if she could somehow erase the sight from memory. “One of the puppies got sprayed with kerosene and when the room caught…,” She couldn’t finish the sentence, but she knew Jaxon would understand. “It was yelping and spreading fire everywhere it ran. I tried to put it out, but my nightgown caught fire. The pain was unbearable. I ran blindly out the garden door and tripped over the threshold. The way I landed on my arm put the fire out. I should have gone around to the kitchen door, but I couldn’t move. Only when the heat from the fire became unbearable did I get on my feet and back away.”

Charlie looked at Jaxon. Fat tears streamed down her cheeks. “I could have saved them if I had only gone around to the kitchen door. I just stood there and only moved away again when the heat forced me back as it grew. I didn’t know what to do. The fire glowed orange through the windows at first and flames lapped out of the open door and spread up the wall. There was an indescribable roaring sound as it consumed the house.  Then I could just barely hear Mama and Miss Gertie calling my name over the din. I yelled back
, but they couldn’t hear me. I screamed and screamed until I lost my voice.

“The windows turned black with soot and started shattering. I was the only one who made it out. Because the fire started in the rear of the house, it was a long time before anyone saw it and came to help. By then
, it was too late. The men came to the back of the house to get water out of the cistern. That’s when they found me.

“They kept asking what happened and how I got out and where my mother and Gertie were. I couldn’t tell them anything. My voice was gone. I r
eally didn’t understand my mother was dead. I didn’t understand what death was. The weeks—the months really, after the fire, I barely remember. People speculated that my mother pulled me out and went back in. Some said I was a miracle. Could anything be further from the truth?  Even after my throat healed, I just couldn’t be compelled to speak. I don’t know if it was because I knew I’d have to answer their question, I just didn’t have it in me. My father thought it was stubbornness, but that wasn’t it at all.” 

“You were traumatized, in shock,” Jaxon said.

She looked up at him with such sadness in her eyes. Jaxon knew it was her guilt that made her build up in her mind that the horrific death of her mother and housekeeper as a criminal offense. No wonder she still had nightmares.

“So you think Grayson brought the law because of something that happened when you were five.”

“Aye, I was responsible for a fire that killed two people.”

Jaxon shook his head. “I don’t know why they are here
, but that fire was a tragic accident and you weren’t even school-aged yet. The law would never call you responsible legally.”

“Why else would they be here, Jax? Except for starting a few fights, I’ve never done anything else, I swear. And I always paid for the damages. There is no statute of limitations on murder. They just waited until I was old enough to lock up to come for me.”

Jaxon shook his head and sighed. Charlie logic. He took her in his arms and held her for several minutes, then pulled her to her feet. He removed his handkerchief from his pocket and dried her face.

“There is only one way to find out why they are here. I promise I’ll wait for you through your child-bearing years.”

Charlie looked wide-eyed at him and he smiled widely at her.

“Did you just make a joke?” Charlie asked in astonishment. It hardly seemed the time to make jests
, but she smiled in spite of herself.

“Aye.” 

“Under other circumstances, I’d mark that on my calendar.”

“It’s going to be all right, baby. I promise you.”

Jaxon led her by the hand back into the tight corridor. Grayson stood leaning against the wall looking at his watch, a look of boredom on his face.

“Why the deputy marshals, Gray?” Jax asked without preamble.

38

“To guard Charlie’s money, of course,” Grayson answered. “She loaded.”

“Yes
, I know. I’ve seen the books. Her ship is berthed in the harbor.”

“As your attorney, Miss Sinclair, I advise you against marrying anyone.  You will lose control of your fortune.”

Jaxon looked annoyed.  “Leave off, Gray.  We married an hour ago.”

“Under what name?” Grayson asked.  “Did you get married under the name Charlie Sinclair?”

“Aye, of course.”

“Come into the cabin, Charlie so I can show you what I found.” He placed a hand on the small of her back compelling toward the guarded cabin. The guards pressed their bodies against one wall to allow them to pass

“Jaxon is coming, too,” she said reaching back for Jaxon’s hand.

“Fine.  If you insist.”

One of the deputies turned the knob and pushed the door open letting them in.  Grayson took the chair behind the desk and began shuffling through a file of papers.

As he put the veil in the locker Jaxon noticed a chest in the corner that didn’t belong to him and stepped over and opened it.  It was full of gold bars.

“Good God,” he blurted out drawing Charlie’s attention.  “We need to find the bank manager and get him to come to work today.”

“Yes, you do.  Maybe you should take care of that right now.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jax said dryly.

“Fine.”  Grayson handed Charlie a sheet of paper.  “I have copied the information from the records of the doctor who delivered you.”

Charlie took it and examined it.  “The twenty-first.  My father wasn’t certain of the date.  Carly Marie Sinclair.  My real name is actually Carly?  I don’t remember ever being called that.”

“According to the neighbor, your father was out to sea during the entire pregnancy and birth.  He didn’t care for the name and he started calling you Charlie.  Ever
yone thought it was so cute they never called you anything else.”

Charlie nodded.  “You talked to the neighbors…about the fire?”

Grayson handed her a yellowed newspaper clipping.  “They really didn’t have much to add. It’s pretty much all in here.”

She hesitated before she took the clipping from him.  She handed it to Jaxon without looking at it.  She wasn’t sure if she could stand knowing what her father undoubtedly knew.   “I’m not ready to read it yet.”

“I think it’s fairly common knowledge around Charleston that your father dressed you like a boy.  The tailor’s assistant was especially embarrassed about it.  He told me if your father had even once made an appointment, he would have feigned illness to avoid measuring you.”

Charlie chuckled nervously.  “His ears used to turn crimson red.  I think he and I were equally embarrassed.”

“There was a trust set up that I left in place.  Since you didn’t mention it, I didn’t know if you knew about it.  Your father keeps up the property.”

“He never mentioned it.”

“It’s a large garden with benches and paths for anyone to enjoy.  He pays a pair of gardeners with the trust.”

Charlie met Grayson’s gaze.  “I think I’ve been there.  I didn’t realize that was where the house had been.  We always went and sat on the benches when I was young.”

“He left this for you with his attorney.”  Grayson held out a missive sealed with wax.

Charlie’s hand trembled as she took the letter.  She debated whether to open it now or wait until she was alone
, but decided she had no hope of enjoying the remainder of the reception knowing it was waiting on her.  She unthinkingly reached for her waist, momentarily forgetting she was not wearing her knife.

Jaxon took the pen knife off his desk and handed it to her and she carefully sliced the thick outer page that protected the inner pages.

“Would you like us to leave you for a moment?” Jaxon asked.

“No, it’s fine.”

Charlie bowed her head and began reading.

                                                                                                  1801

Dear Charlie,

I have been staring at these blank pages for an hour trying to figure out how to begin
.
  As I write this
,
you are tucked away in the corner of my cabin in your hammock.  You had one of your nightmares last night, but I’m glad to say you are sleeping peacefully tonight.

We will be in homeport tomorrow and Brody and I are to meet with the lawyers.  We have accumulated a tidy sum and have decided that we each need a will.  I don’t know if Brody plans to leave his share to you
,
as that is his business not mine
,
but he has hinted as much.

If I die before Brody and you do not want to keep the
Arcadia
,
I want you to promise to sell our share to him at a low price.  This ship is his home and he deserves to live here until the end of his days if that’s what he wants to do.

I have no doubt
,
if I left you nothing
,
you would be fine since you have never needed anything from me your whole life.  Or maybe you just refused to ask.  I never knew which.  Do you remember when I made Brody examine your feet because you had been limping for days?  He found blood around your toenails because you had outgrown your boots.  I never understood why you wouldn’t tell me.  The next time you outgrew your boots
;
you took your cabin boy wages and bought them yourself.  You never asked for anything.  Even when Zeb would hit you
,
you wouldn’t ask for help.  You may not have been talking
,
but you could read and write.  Yet, you took it upon yourself to end it.

I never knew a child before who didn’t need anyone.  When I found you at the orphanage, I tried to embrace you
, but you just stood there and wouldn’t hug me back.  I wondered if you were angry at me for not being there when you and your mother needed me.  Trust me when I say, I hate myself for not being there.  And when the nightmares woke you, you’d get dressed and go on deck. Not once did you attempt to wake me for comfort.

I want you to know, because we have
never spoken of such things, I am proud of you.  You have accomplished more at fifteen than many men ever do.

My only disappointment is that you never told me about the fire.  I know you think I do not know your part in that fire
, but I spoke with the neighbors and they told me about the overturned table and the two dead pups.  Your mother was not fond of the hounds and she never allowed them in the house.  I know it was an accident, one that a child your age could have never foreseen, but I always wanted you to tell me voluntarily what happened.  I suppose it is only human nature to want to avoid taking blame.  Someday, I hope you will tell someone, even if it is just that lunkhead, Morty, that you have grown so close to.

I have to say
, I am glad to see that you have befriended someone at last, even if it is such a clown as he.  Never have I been so sure that someone was dropped on his head as a baby, as I am about Ness.  I am quite conflicted about this young man.  He is both a good and bad influence on you.  He has certainly taken the starch out of your drawers, but I worry that he has no qualms about taking you with him to the tavern.  Though in truth, when you came back with a drink or two in you, you instigated a conversation with me, something you never do unless it’s about the running of the ship or business.

I wish I saw more of that side of you
, but without the drink.

Charlie, I never thought our charade would go on this long.  For some reason, I assumed I would remarry and you would return to a normal life with a step-mama to watch you.  I have entertained thoughts of sending you to boarding school
, but your manners are as coarse as jack’s and Brody tells me your studies are far beyond what they would teach.

What you do with the rest of your life is up to you.  If you are still a minor when I die, Brody will watch after you until your majority.  If you want to live ashore, there is ample mone
y to keep you into your dotage.  However, if you ever find yourself in dire straits, know that your mother has a brother who lives in England.  He broke ties with your mother during the War of Independence. His name is Richard Carlyle Avondale.  I think when she named you Carly it was after him. Your mother told me he was to inherit a title from a sonless uncle. I believe the family estate is called Winterhurst, but I don’t remember where it’s at.

I wish in life we could have had a no
rmal father-child relationship. I always wanted to tell you I love you, but I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t return the sentiment.

If there is any advice I can give you, Charlie, it is this:  Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Your father,

John Sinclair.

Charlie finished reading the letter and handed it to Jaxon.

“May I?”

Charlie, lost in thought was slow to answer.  “Aye.”

While Jaxon read she spoke with Grayson.  “Was that everything?”

“I think so.  The only matter pending is the question of the legality of the marriage.  But honestly
, as your solicitor, I would like you to consider whether or not you want someone else to have control of the money.”

“Gray, if you want to continue in the capacity of my attorney
, I don’t want to hear any more about it.  All I want to know is how to make the marriage legal.  Do we have to annul it and redo it?  Or can we just redo the vows with the correct names?”

“That’s not really my field of expertise.”

Charlie nodded.  “I trust what you’ve learned about my past is confidential.”

“Of course.”

“And can we keep the deputies until the money is safe?”

“I’ll add their services to your bill.”

Jaxon looked up from the letter and shook his head.  “Don’t try to pad the bill.  I’ll be going over it with a fine-tooth comb.”

“Now you know why I don’t want you married to my brother.  He always thinks the worst of me.”

Grayson pushed up to his feet to leave.

“Haven’t you forgotten something?” Jaxon asked.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“You owe Charlie an apology.”

Grayson looked less than contrite.  “Charlie, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you and that I thought the worst of you.  I hope you and Jaxon will be very happy together…even though, he doesn’t deserve you.”

Charlie eyed Jaxon.  She wasn’t sure what to say since he added the little dig
, but decided to take the high road.  “Thank you, Gray.  I’d like to just forget it and start fresh with you.”

“I’m going to talk to Reverend Fyfe and see if he knows what needs to be done to fix your wedding conundrum,” Grayson said before taking his leave.

“Are you all right?” Jaxon asked when they were alone again.

Charlie shrugged.  “I don’t know.  That letter only confused me.  I didn’t tell him my boots were too small because I didn’t know I had to.  He took me to the tailor without me needing to tell him.  My mother purchased my shoes without any conversation about it.”

“But when they started hurting, why didn’t you say something?”

“We had been in the South Pacific for months.  It was warm so I went around barefoot just like everyone else.  It was only when we went around Cape Horn that we hit cold weather and I put them back on.  They were too small
, but you know how it is when you’re out to sea; if you run out of something, you do without it until you hit your next port-of-call.  What was the point of telling him?  It was either wear them or get frostbite.  If he had asked why I was limping, I would have figured out how to tell him, but he went right to Dr. Kirk.”

“I see your point.”

“He made such an ordeal of it, the next time; I just bought new ones before I could outgrow the old ones.”

“And you never went to him when you had nightmares?”

Charlie looked lost. “How could I ask for comfort from him when I killed the love of his life?  If I had, he might have asked about the dream and I would have to tell him about the fire. I couldn’t. To be honest I’m not sure I would have ever told you if I didn’t feel cornered into it.”

“I’m glad you did tell me.  A shared burden lightens the load.”

Jaxon would have liked to have brought up Zeb, but he knew it was something she would get defensive about.  He truly believed, especially in light of the fact that John Sinclair did know about Charlie’s part in the fire, he let it go on as a punishment to Charlie.  All it would have taken was a threat to put the bully off the boat at a foreign sea port and the boy would have straightened out.

“You’ll never have any more answers than what is in the letter.  Just focus on the fact that he loved you and was proud of you.”

“Aye, you’re right.”  Charlie looked pensive, but slowly began smiling.  “You’re right, Jax.  I’m not going to let this ruin our day.  I don’t care what Grayson says.  We are married in the sight of God and all the people who matter in our lives.  We can take care of the legalities later.”