He cupped her head with a large hand and kissed her hair. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry.”
She nestled into his warmth, comforted by the regular thud of his heart against her cheek. He’d got hot under the lights and his warm skin smelled of vanilla, making her think of him in his kitchen, cooking muffins and biscuits.
She knew her mascara was running, and she’d almost certainly got some on his shirt, but she couldn’t have moved away if she’d tried.
He eventually lifted her chin, however, taking the tissue from her hand and wiping under her eyes. She was snotty and embarrassed but he refused to let her look down, taking time to clean her up, even touching his tongue to his thumb and wiping gently on her cheek to remove a smudge.
He looked tired, and it made her think of what these evenings must be doing to him, how traumatic they must be, to hear all those terrible stories of how people’s relatives had died, or been murdered. Thinking of his pain rather than her own calmed her breathing and allowed her to still her trembling bottom lip and finally meet his gaze.
She’d wondered whether he’d be slightly smug, or tease her, or even start questioning her on the details he’d found out, but he said nothing, studying her, his eyes gentle. Then he cupped her face, lowered his head and kissed her. It was a light kiss, comforting rather than passionate, just a brush of his lips against hers, but it still made her heart pound again.
He lifted his head, continuing to stroke her cheek. “Jodi’s at Liv’s tonight,” he said huskily.
“Oh?”
He nodded. “And Dr. Patel said you shouldn’t really be on your own.”
“I…I wouldn’t be on my own with Mia and Freya either,” she pointed out.
“But they sleep in another room. I think maybe you need someone to keep an eye on you all night. Just in case.” He kissed her again. “Come home with me, Grace.”
It struck her that maybe he didn’t want to be alone either. He wanted someone next to him, in his bed, someone to curl up to and hold in the dark hours, someone to share the night with. And out of all the women in the auditorium, he was asking her.
She swallowed. “Don’t expect special treatment because I now know you’re a superstar.”
He started to smile. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I still expect you to cook for me.”
“Whatever you desire, sweetheart.” He looked extraordinarily happy.
“I’m only agreeing because Jodi’s not going to be there,” she said cautiously.
“I know.” He stood and held out a hand. “Come on. We’ll drop Mia and Freya off, and you can pick up anything you need.”
She let him pull her to her feet and lead her out of the room. He picked up a bag on the way out, presumably containing whatever he needed to get ready for the show. Outside, the girls were talking to a youngish, tall guy with ruffled dark hair, dressed in a dark grey suit, who took the bag from Ash.
“Thanks,” Ash said to him. He turned to Grace. “This is Nate.”
“His
chauffeur
,” said Freya, obviously impressed.
“Nice,” said Grace, cocking an eyebrow at Ash. “Driving beneath you, is it?”
Nate laughed and Ash gave her a wry look. “I get tired on show nights. Nate kindly ensures I don’t cause a serious accident on the way home. And he’s my manager, not my chauffeur.” He indicated for the girls to precede him. “After you, ladies.”
They walked ahead of him down the corridor into the foyer, waiting as a group of young women accosted him, all demanding he sign their books. Grace turned away as they cast curious looks in her direction, and she walked outside through the glass doors, taking big gulps of the cool night air.
Chapter Fifteen
“Are you all right?” Mia had followed her out.
“Yeah.”
Mia hugged her and then stepped back. “What did he say? About the reading, I mean?”
“Nothing,” said Grace. “I thought he might gloat or something. But…he didn’t. That’s very Ash.” She gave a small smile.
“How do you feel?”
“Like I’ve been stuck in a tumble dryer for an hour. Dizzy and hot and confused.” She scratched her nose. “But I’m going home with him. Jodi’s away, so…I’m going to stay the night.”
Mia smiled slowly. “Excellent.”
“Now you’re the one who’s gloating.”
“I’m not gloating. I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know a gloat when I see one.”
Freya came out then, carrying one of the books Grace was just beginning to realise Ash must have written, because everywhere people were carrying signed copies. “Tell me you didn’t ask him to sign that.”
“Of course I did,” Freya said indignantly. She read out the dedication. “‘To my dearest Freya, love Ash.’” She beamed. “That’s going at the front of the bookshelf when we get home.”
“Grace is staying over,” said Mia, a tad too smugly for her denial of gloating to be true.
“Shut up,” said Grace.
“Ooh.” Freya’s eyes widened.
“Ssh,” said Grace hurriedly as Ash came out with Nate. He smiled at them and led them to a large black car in the reserved parking space by the front of the Centre. Nate pressed the button on his keys, the lights flashed and he went to the boot to put Ash’s bag in.
“Can you three squeeze in the back?” Ash asked.
“I think Grace should sit in the front in case she feels sick,” said Mia. “You can squeeze in between me and Freya.”
Grace opened the back door and pushed Mia. “Get in.”
Ash grinned. Mia protested but climbed in, and Grace sent him a look, going around to the seat behind the driver and getting in next to her. Freya slid in behind the front passenger seat.
The girls buckled up. Grace saw Mia nudge Freya, and the blonde-haired girl blushed and elbowed her back. Grace watched Nate get in and she started to smile. Freya hadn’t been in a relationship for a while. In between her demanding job as a nurse and an even more demanding family, she didn’t have a lot of spare time. Nate glanced at Freya in his rearview mirror. He had a naughty glint in his eye. Maybe he was just the sort of thing Freya needed right now.
Ash got in and clipped his seatbelt, and Nate did the same in the driver’s seat. Ash turned slightly in his seat to look at them in the back as Nate started the engine and eased the car out of the parking lot.
“How’d the show go?”
“Fantastic,” said Freya. “You’re amazing.”
He laughed. “Thanks.”
“Don’t keep saying that,” said Grace. “He won’t be able to get his head out the door.”
Mia smiled. “It’s the first show of that type I’ve been to. It was fascinating, I have to say.”
“Does it wear you out?” said Freya. “All that energy and emotion. You must be knackered.”
“A bit. I’ll sleep well tonight.” His eyes met Grace’s briefly and he smiled.
“Do you find it traumatic?” said Freya. “Talking to people who’ve been murdered, I mean. All those tragic deaths.”
He thought about it. “It’s difficult to see the people in the audience get upset because they miss their loved ones, when I know they’re happy and safe. But I hope they leave in a more satisfied state than when they came in the door anyway.”
Freya nodded. She turned to Grace. “Are you more satisfied than when you arrived?”
Nate coughed in the front and Ash laughed outright. “She’s even less subtle than you,” he said to Grace. “I wouldn’t have thought that was possible.”
“Me neither.” Grace glared at Freya.
Freya ignored her. “I have one question. What did Grace’s dad say to you, when you said, ‘I’m not telling her that’?”
Grace opened her mouth to scold Freya but shut it again. She wanted to know the answer to that question.
Ash met her gaze. Then he looked away and turned in his seat to face the front. “Did they tell you where to go?” he asked Nate, who nodded. “Good.” Then he fell silent.
Grace, Mia and Freya exchanged looks but said nothing, letting the streetlamps flash by as Nate threaded the car through the still-busy town to their house. Wellington was as beautiful by night as by day, bars and clubs bright as jewels in the dark, spilling people onto the street. Grace loved her city and usually felt comforted by its familiar roads and shops, but that night it failed to soothe her, and her stomach continued to bubble with uncertainty and nerves. She still had to process the events of the evening, to work out exactly what had happened and what it meant for her and Ash. Was she making the right decision, spending the night with him? Wouldn’t it just serve to confuse matters?
But then he turned his head to talk to Nate, and she saw the lines around his eyes, the tiredness heavy on his features, and it made her ache. The evening had taken a heavy toll on him—how could it not? He’d taken away the pain and misery of the people he’d spoken to, giving back nothing but energy and light. Of course it would weigh heavily on him.
Spending one night with him didn’t mean anything. It didn’t make them engaged, or even serious. She wasn’t sure what title she could give him—lover, boyfriend, partner? But she did know she would call him a friend, and as a friend, she wanted to comfort him.
Nate pulled the car up outside their house, and Ash looked over his shoulder. “I’ll wait here.”
“Okay.” She got out, heart thumping, and followed Mia and Freya up the path, Freya casting a last look over her shoulder at Nate. She only needed a couple of things, toothbrush, hairbrush, nightie—not that she expected to be needing it. The thought made her give Ash a quick smile before she entered the house.
“She definitely coming back?” said Nate.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” Ash leaned his head on the rest and sighed. “I could sleep for a fortnight.”
“I’d have thought sleep was the last thing on your mind,” said Nate, amused.
Ash cast him a wry glance. They’d known each other for several years. Ash had read for Nate once at a show in Auckland, and on seeing what a dark place Nate was in emotionally and spiritually, had asked to meet him backstage. They’d got on so well he hadn’t hesitated in offering Nate the job of chauffeur, recognising the younger man was in desperate need of a friend and mentor. Eventually Nate had offered his services in a managerial role and Ash had accepted, as his career was rapidly turning into a very successful business. Now they travelled together frequently, and they were good friends, and Nate was beginning to recover from his traumatic past. But Nate was probably the only person in the world whose love life was even more miserable than Ash’s.
Ash sighed. “I can’t wait to get home, actually. It was a tough one tonight.”
“You had no idea she’d be in the audience?” Nate always watched Ash’s shows from the back row.
“No, none. Even when ‘Amazing Grace’ started, I thought it was a coincidence.”
“It
was
pretty amazing,” Nate admitted.
Ash said nothing. At the time, he’d thought Grace would be furious with him for picking her out, even though he had no control over which messages came through at any given time. He’d been shocked when she told him to go ahead, and then nervous, worried he wouldn’t be able to come up with anything to convince her, or the audience. But then the information had started flowing, and he’d begun to see her confidence slip away. He’d known he was getting there, and he’d pushed it, asking for more personal information, half expecting her to walk out. He hadn’t expected her to faint.
“Pretty romantic too,” said Nate. “You dashing up to carry her out and all.”
“I thought she’d hate me for that,” Ash murmured.
“Are you kidding? It was like something from
Gone with the Wind
.”
Ash smiled, amused. “Since when have you been such an old romantic?”
“Since I haven’t been laid in, like, six months,” grunted Nate.
“I suppose you’re going to blame me for that.”
“Absolutely, fucking long hours you keep. And now you’re going to rub my nose in it by taking your girlfriend home for the night.”
“Too right.” He grinned at Nate but his stomach was in a knot. He sighed.
“What’s up?”
“I don’t know.” He thought about the message her father had given to him, the one he hadn’t wanted to pass on in front of the audience, the wave of uneasiness sweeping over him again. “I’m just hoping I’m doing the right thing. I’ve got a teenage daughter. Grace teaches Jodi, for Christ’s sake. It’s not like we can fool around without the chance of anyone getting hurt. She’s aware I’ve been worried about Jodi, and she won’t want to make it worse. And I don’t want to upset Jodi either.”
“You don’t want to upset Jodi by dating five years after your divorce?”
Ash shot him a wry look.
Nate smiled. “I know. I get it. But you’re not asking her to marry you. Just take it slow. Go out on a few dates. Let Jodi get used to the idea. She likes Grace, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah, but it’s one thing to like your year ten science teacher, and another to have her come home and wake up in your old man’s bed.”
“True.”
They sat quietly for a moment.
“Do you love her?” Nate said eventually.