Authors: Felicite Lilly
Mac
I spent the rest of the afternoon slinging beers for patrons, which there had ended up being a total of twenty by the time I left at 6:00, obsessing over the fact I had hugged Kellan. I didn’t know what had come over me, but after I had hugged Lynn I had seen the hurt cross his face.
I knew I was messed up but I hated when my issues crossed over into someone else’s head. So, I had gone for the hug and realized if I kept my eyes open and had my arms high, it was okay. Or maybe it was just the fact it had been Kellan. Either way, I had taken a giant leap and landed on my feet.
Kellan, while sitting with Lynn had squeezed for more information and had gotten Lynn and I’s story. Lynn had decided to sit with Kellan for a while and celebrate their new joint venture. I didn’t know whether the joint venture they were referring to was me or their breweries.
I enjoyed listening to Kellan and Lynn’s banter as it progressed. I had tried to jump into the conversation as much as I could while working. Lynn had left at four to pick up her partner, Abbie, for dinner.
Kellan got up at about the same time to use the restroom and call his business partner, Jake. It was at that time I realized I wouldn’t mind having Kellan as a regular. I knew he would respect my boundaries, however I set them. He was a genuinely nice guy. He was also, at least partially, my employer. There was a new line drawn that I could not cross.
I knew better than to ever get involved in any way other than professionally with an employer. He was paying me good money to do a job. I knew it would be easy to keep that distance, especially since he lived in Maryland it would make it a hundred times easier.
My replacement bartender showed up at 5:45, along with Russ, our bouncer. I had gotten to know Russ when I had first moved to Vegas. I didn’t think I would be able to overcome his sheer size and look to see the person underneath. But I had stop panicking every time I saw him and Russ had easily broken down the wall I had created between us with his witty banter, kind words and protective nature.
The bartender and Russ had arrived at the same time and I got the impression they were together. The bartender was a tall curvy woman, with red hair and light green eyes. She walked behind the bar and stuck her hand out to me, not even noticing Kellan at the bar.
“Hi, I’m Kristen. People call me Ten, because I am. A ten.” She snort-laughed and smacked her leg. I shook her outstretched hand and smiled.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Mackayla, friends call me Mac.” Ten squeezed my hand.
“You our new tender?”
“Not quite. Just filling in. But I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.” I grabbed my bag from next to the freezer and made my way over to Kellan. “Ready?”
“Sure.” He said, looking tired.
We walked toward the front door and I could tell Kellan was nervous about me seeing Russ. The tension was written all over his face. I was thinking about acting like a total nut job when we got over to Russ but I didn’t want Russ to think I was joking about him. He was sensitive about his size.
“Do my eyes deceive me or is that you Mac?!” Russ said. Picture a giant of a man, biceps as big as my head, with the voice of a Shakespearean actor.
“It’s me.”
“Good night. I haven’t seen you in an age. Where have you been?”
“Pretty sure you saw me a couple months ago, Russ.”
“Ah, well time flies when you’re having fun.” Russ’s eyes found the beautiful red head behind the bar and I knew from that look that their relationship was serious. Good for him. He deserved it.
“Pretty lady, Russell.”
“Far more than I deserve.”
I stepped up to him and smacked his chest playfully.
“You definitely deserve her. As long as she deserves you, too.”
Russ blushed. I had forgotten how bashful he could be. Russ finally noticed my companion and straightened up, becoming Bouncer Russ instead of my Russ.
“And who are you?” Russ asked menacingly.
“Kellan.” He said, putting his hand out to Russ. Russ grabbed it and shook it firmly. I could see Kellan’s hand turning white and knew Russ was sending a silent message.
“We should get going. We’ve been here all day.” I realized belatedly that I had been using we. I hadn’t used we in so long I couldn’t remember the last time. “So I’ll talk to you later.” There. That was better.
“You can count on it sugar,” Russ said to me while looking at Kellan. Some sort of silent man message was happening, but I didn’t have time to think about it.
“Nice meeting you Russell.”
“Same to you Kellan.”
And with that I walked out the front door, went straight to the car, unlocked the locks and got in the driver’s seat. Kellan got in and we pulled away. It was awkwardly silent for a few minutes. I didn’t mind the silence, but I could feel the tension coming off Kellan in hot waves.
“So, who is Russ to you?”
“A friend.”
“An ex-boyfriend?”
“No! He’s been the bouncer at The Strip for as long as the place has been open. He’s a
friend
. I haven’t had a boyfriend since –” I cut myself off realizing I had almost said Maryland. Wow, this guy was loosening my lips. Why did he care who Russ was anyway? It’s not like Kellan was my boyfriend.
“Since when Mac?” His voice had calmed and he was speaking gently. Whiplash much? But I wasn’t going to say anything. I would rather have calm and gentle than angry.
“A long time.”
“Self-imposed singledom? Or forced singledom?”
“Singledom? Is that your own word?” I laughed.
“You’ve never heard of singledom?”
“Oh, I live in singledom. Have since I moved from Maryland.” I looked out the side window, adjusted my rearview mirror, and changed the radio station. Anything to distract myself from the fact I had just given a very big part of me to the man sitting next to me.
Funny enough,
Hello My Old Heart
came on by the Oh Hellos. They were one of my favorite bands, and I smiled at the appropriate song playing. I had left my heart in Maryland all those years ago. I hadn’t felt it beating in my chest this whole time. If it never beats then it never breaks. Right? I glanced over at Kellan, and realized he’d been watching me the whole time. I hope he didn’t see too much.
Kellan
I don’t think she knew what she’d given me. She told me she hadn’t dated anyone since Maryland. So I now knew that whatever happened in Maryland had to do with the dumbass who let her get away. But I knew it was more than that. She was guarded more than me. And that’s saying something. I love the song that’d come on and saw the amusement on her face while it played.
I’d heard these guys live before. They had put on a free impromptu concert in Baltimore shortly before I had left for Vegas. I decided the concert would be a great place to promote our Brewery. I had gotten to meet the band because one of them liked our pale ale. I found I really liked them and their music. This song was one of my favorites. They’d played it the night of the concert.
I couldn’t decide, since she had opened the door with her last comment, if I should push for more information or if I should let it sit for now. I hummed along with the tune while my brain mulled it over.
“You know the Oh Hellos?”
“Met them recently, actually.”
You would’ve thought I’d said I met the Beatles with the disbelief that crossed her face.
“You’re kidding me,” She said it in a hushed whisper, as if it was a secret.
“Not in the least. They’re very nice people. They like our pale ale – or one of them does.”
Mac hit me with the hand that wasn’t on the wheel.
“Shut up! That’s amazing. You should have them do a concert and have your brewery sponsor it!”
“Would you go? If I did that?” I asked her.
I was still trying to find a way to not only keep in touch with her, but to see her again. It’d be easier if she came to me. I had very long days and hours I worked. I’d make time to see her, though.
Mac looked uncomfortable. It’s not like I’d asked her to get naked in the back seat of the Jag, but apparently I may as well have. Jesus, this woman was driving me mad.
I wanted to touch her, but was afraid to put a finger on her. I wanted to ask her questions but was afraid she’d shut down on me. I’m an open book and she was nothing short of Fort Knox.
“Forget it. It’s fine. I get it, no Maryland.” I had let my temper speak, but it was hard trying to knock down a wall only to have it built right back up a few minutes later.
“It’s not that I don’t want to go. I am
dying
to go to one of their concerts. I just –“
“Can’t.”
I knew the ends of her sentences already. I had been paying such close attention to everything she said. I couldn’t take not knowing where her brain was at. I needed to get deeper.
Most women were in two categories for me “bang me” or “leave me alone” women. They fell into two categories and it wasn’t hard to know where one would fall. But with Mac everything was so out of my control and my normal that I didn’t know which way was up.
“I’m sorry,” She said barely above a whisper.
I reached over for her hand, grabbed it off her lap and held it. Not for her, but for me. I needed the comfort. She didn’t smack me or move her hand from mine, so that was progress. At least
I
thought it was.
“No need to be,” I said.
And she really didn’t need to be. I let my frustration come to the surface and it wasn’t her fault. She was who she was, there was no reason to apologize for it. In fact, I really liked her for it.
“Where am I taking you?” Mac asked, still holding my hand.
That was a damn good question. I was on this whole journey flying by the seat of my pants and loving every minute of it, mostly. But I knew she was asking me literally.
I had called earlier to see if I could get into one of the rooms on the strip, but there hadn’t been anything open. Apparently, there was some kind of convention going on and every room, with the exception of one of the high executive suites, was booked. And there was no way in hell I was paying three grand a night just for me. I hadn’t booked my flight yet and didn’t want to examine too closely as to why that was.
“I tried figuring that out after I talked to Jake today, but apparently all the hotels are booked. Some kind of convention going on.” At the mention of the convention, Mac’s face split with a private joke. “What?”
“Uh, the convention. It’s the global porn convention. They’ve been coming in for a week.” I had almost forgotten she worked at the airport. She knew all the goings on in Vegas.
“Of course it is.” I would be obsessed with a girl I can’t put my hands on while there are a million porn stars running around Vegas. “Either way, I don’t know where I’m going to stay.”
I let my statement hang there for a minute. I wondered if she might offer me a place to stay. I hoped. She could just drop me off back at the hospital. I could sleep there in a waiting room somewhere until I could catch a flight tomorrow…or next week.
Mac
So Kellan was out on his ass and needed a place to stay. Did I trust him enough to allow him to stay at my place? Maybe. It was the closest I had come to letting a male stay at my place with the exception of Russ. Russ was just a friend. I had never had any sort of sexual feelings for him and he didn’t for me. I knew he saw me as his little sister.
Kellan was a totally different story. I had been touching and letting him touch me all day. The first touch hadn’t gone so well, but that really wasn’t a big surprise considering he was the first male with interest to touch me since – yeah.
The radio switched over to
Boy Got it Bad
by KaiL Baxley. It was like the radio Gods were speaking to me. Alright, I was going to give this a try. He’d be sleeping on my couch, not in my bed. I kept repeating that to myself to calm my nerves.
“Okay, you can stay with me. Tonight. On the couch,” I said it in a rush, to get it out before I changed my mind.
Kellan lifted his eyebrows. I could tell he wasn’t expecting me to invite him. But I was already doing all kinds of things I normally didn’t, why stop now?
“Well, I don’t want to impose, but I’m going to. You’ve been nothing but kind, thank you.” I almost laughed at his words, but his face was etched with such sincerity I couldn’t squash it by laughing. I nodded.
“You’ve helped me too. I have a great new job, making buku bucks.”
It was all true. He had given me a second chance at an opportunity that I had passed up before because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to be the person I was. I wanted to be more like Kellan. I wanted to go out and grab the world. But I was also terrified that something bad was going to happen again. I was frightened I was going to put myself in that same situation. That I would end up saying no and it would fall on deaf ears, again.
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
And that was the beauty of him. He came off initially as a cocky bastard, which he rightfully was, but he was sweet too.