L
ater, she listlessly went back downstairs. She sat down at the piano, but no matter what she played, the music failed to soothe her. She slumped down and laid her head on her arms.
Soon, through her gloom, she sensed she wasn’t alone. Startled, she bolted up and turned her head. Jed stood in the doorway.
Was she imagining him. “Jed! What are you doing here? Didn’t your ship sail last night?”
“It did, but without me. And I missed the train you came back on, so I had to wait for the next one. I have something to say to you that I should have said sooner. So I resigned and left the ship.”
“You resigned your commission on the
Redheaded Belle
! But you love that ship, Jed.” Her heart began pounding in her breast. “Does this mean you don’t intend to go back to sea?”
“There are other ships.”
Another false hope.
But she’d been given a second chance to confess her love to him, and she wasn’t going to let him leave again without doing so.
“What’s so important to cause you to come back?”
“Caroline, Lord knows I’ve given you enough cause to dislike me. But I don’t want…I mean…I can’t go on with our current arrangement.”
Her heart stopped. “So…you want out of the marriage?”
“Let me finish,” he grumbled. “I’ve rehearsed this damn speech all the way from San Francisco!
“When I agreed to your marriage demands, I intended to honor them. But I find it impossible.”
“You find
what
impossible?”
“To make this damn speech, if you keep interrupting! Dammit it, Caroline, I want us to have a
real
marriage—not a polite arrangement for Garrett’s sake. I want to be a real husband to you, and I want you to be a real wife to me—not just a cook and housekeeper.”
Her whole body was quivering. She wanted to fling herself into his arms. This was a Jed she had never seen before. His sweet talk and smooth control had shattered to the point where he was having trouble putting words together in a sentence. But he still hadn’t said the words she yearned to hear from him.
“No woman has ever touched the deep part of me that you did, Caroline. It scared the hell out of me, because I knew I would have to choose between you and my love for the sea.
“And yesterday, when I stood on the deck of that ship and watched you walk away, the choice suddenly became clear to me.
I’m in love with you, Caroline.
“For the past month, I’ve told myself it was simply physical attraction. I let my body take command, when I should have been listening to my heart.
“I love you, Caroline. I’m madly, insatiably in love with you. I can no longer even imagine a life without you. I want a
real
marriage. I want us to be a
real
husband and wife.”
She wanted to shout for joy, to cry from happiness. And talk about sex urges! She had never desired him as much as she did this moment. She wanted to strip off her clothes and his, and make love to him on the spot.
Savoring the moment, she feigned being shocked. “You mean in the
real
biblical sense of the word?”
“Of course, I mean that!” he literally shouted. “That has to be part of a marriage if—” He stopped and stared at her with an enlightened gleam in his eyes. “Why, you little vixen! You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”
She walked over to him. Their gazes locked as she opened the buttons of his shirt. “Tell me, sailor, have you ever made love on a piano?”
Devilment gleamed in his eyes. “Can’t say that I have. Do you have something in mind, Miss Caroline?”
She slipped the shirt off his shoulders. “You bet I do.”
He swept her up in his arms, and she slipped her arms around his neck as he carried her to the stairway.
“And for the record, sailor, the name’s
Mrs.
Caroline Fraser. And I
definitely
have something on my mind. You’re about to find out just how much of a wife you married, because I’ve decided to give my rival, the sea, a real battle. So batten down the hatches—for I’ve not yet begun to fight.”
Jed turned on his side, leaned on his elbow, and cradled his head in his hand. He gazed down at Caroline’s face. The sight of her lovely lips, still slightly swollen from kissing his, reminded him of their sweetness, and he gently traced them with his fingertip.
Having confessed their love with every shared kiss, they now were content to just lie in the afterglow of their lovemaking, their legs entwined.
“When did you realize you were in love with me?” she asked.
He lay back and drew her closer to his side, their heads side by side on the pillow.
“I don’t really know. But you were always on my mind. You know how you sometimes hear a haunting song? You don’t know the name of it, but its strains keep running through your head. You were that melody, Caroline. I had to come back to tell you I love you, no matter what you thought of me. I couldn’t imagine being away from you for eleven months.”
He shifted to his side and brushed an errant strand of hair off her cheek. “Now it’s your turn. What about you?”
Her delightful giggle brought a grin to his face. “I think it was when I looked up in that restaurant in San Francisco and saw you. Like Rory told me when she first saw Garth: ‘From the moment that big, beautiful man walked in the door, I was in love.’
“My mind was so clouded with fears of losing Garrett that I didn’t listen to my heart. Even quarreled with my nasty alter ego.”
“Your nasty alter ego?” He chuckled.
“Oh, yes. I carry on conversations with my image in the mirror.”
“And you admit to it!”
“Don’t you sometimes talk to your image in the mirror?”
“Well, I suppose so…But, honey, I don’t expect an answer.”
“It’s a way of playing devil’s advocate with myself. I never get a positive response, but you were our main topic of conversation.”
“No wonder my ears have been burning,” he teased. “Honey, in the future, discuss me with
me.
You might get better answers. I know me better than she does.”
“Was Captain Beningham upset when you told him you weren’t sailing with him?” Caroline asked.
“I wouldn’t say he was happy to hear it, but he said he understood since we’re newlyweds.”
“Does he have someone to replace you?”
“He had someone in mind, because he suspected that I wouldn’t be coming back.”
“What gave him that idea?”
“When he saw us in Sacramento, he knew I had finally met the woman who rivaled my love of the sea.”
Caroline was skeptical. “Now, how would he know that?”
“Apparently everyone guessed it but us. Clay told me that we were fooling ourselves if we didn’t believe we were in love.”
“So did you mean it earlier about intending to take a different ship and return to sailing?”
“The sea could never draw me away from you, my love.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I never want to spend another day away from your side. Though I am unemployed at this time, I have three definite options. Nathan said he’d like to expand the sawmill and would need a strapping young fellow like me to run the whole operation for him.”
“And what did you tell him?” she asked.
“That I would think about it.”
“And the second option?”
“Clay told me their neighbors, the Palmers, are moving back to Illinois. He wants to purchase their land and expand Fraser Keep, bring in some different grape cuttings from Italy and Germany. He’s pretty excited about the idea, and so are the rest of my brothers.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“That I would think about it if I didn’t go back to sea.”
“And the third option?” she asked.
“When we were in Sacramento, Leland Stanford offered me a position with the railroad. He said he was impressed with me and was looking for a man he can trust.” He chuckled. “Ironic isn’t it? Stanford looking for an honest man.”
“So which offer are you considering?” Caroline asked.
“Which one would you be the happiest with?”
“Jed, you’ve already given up the thing you love the most. I want
your
happiness. I’m just thankful you aren’t gone for the next eleven months.”
“Well, I’m not even considering Stanford’s offer. If I took it we’d probably end up being millionaires, but I doubt I’d enjoy the role of an entrepreneur and the bustle of a city like Sacramento or San Francisco.”
“What about Fraser Keep? I know what your family means to you, Jed. I love them, too. If that’s what you want, we’ll go there,” she said, fearful of what his answer would be.
“Well, that’s my first choice. The thing is, I made a promise to someone I love very much that I would never take him away from his granddad. So being a man of honor, I have no choice. I’ll be learning the lumber business if Nathan wants to expand.”
Caroline sat up. “You’re a fraud, Jed Fraser! A sneaking, lowdown fraud! You had me worried sick, when you never had any intention of leaving here.”
“My, what a suspicious woman you are, my dear. Here I was attempting a quiet and intelligent discussion of our future with my wife.”
“Quiet discussion, indeed! You aren’t fooling me one bit Oh, I’d like to…to…”
“To what?” he asked.
“To kiss you.” She rolled over on him. “Jedemiah Fraser, I love you so much.” She kissed him.
Then she kissed him again…and again…and again…
Caroline was in the kitchen preparing dinner when Nathan returned. “Whose horse is in the stable?” he asked. “It looks like that chestnut from the livery in Napa.”
“It is, Father.” Her eyes misted with tears of joy. “Jed’s come back. He’s not going to sea. He wants us to have a real marriage.”
“And you agreed to it?”
“Oh, yes, Father. I love him so much. And he loves me.”
He hugged her for a long moment, then kissed her on the cheek. “I’m very happy for you, my dear. My faith in that young man has been completely restored. Where is he? I want to welcome him home.”
“He’s upstairs bathing. Where’s Garrett? I can’t wait to tell him the good news.”
“He’s still moping. We didn’t see a sign of Buffer today. When we got back, Garrett headed for their favorite spot in the hope of finding him.”
“Could something serious have happened to him?”
“I hope not. This is the longest he’s stayed away.”
“I can’t bear to think of it,” she said.
“Think of what?” Jed asked, joining them.
“Welcome back, son!” Nathan said.
“Thanks, sir.” The two men shook hands.
“Caroline, what’s wrong?” Jed asked.
“We’re concerned about Buffer, Jed,” Nathan said. “He wasn’t here when we returned last night, and he’s been missing all day.”
“Has he stayed out overnight before?”
Nathan shook his head. “Not when we’re home. He’s always been waiting for us when we return home.”
“It’s my fault,” Caroline said. “I thought of taking him with us, because I knew how depressed Garrett would be when he said good-bye to you. Then I changed my mind because of the long train ride. I thought he’d be better off here.”
“You were right, honey, so don’t blame yourself,” Nathan said.
“Where’s Garrett now?” Jed asked.
“He went to their favorite spot in the hopes of finding him.”
Jed nodded. “I know where that is. I’ll go and bring him home.”
“I’ll go with you,” Caroline said. “I know seeing you will cheer him up.”
“I’ll stay here in case one or both of them return,” Nathan said.
After a short walk they found Garrett sitting in a shady cove, hugging his knees to his chest.
As soon as Garrett saw Jed, he jumped to his feet. Jed knelt down and Garrett ran into his arms, hugging and babbling excitedly.
“I thought you were gone for a long time! I thought you might not come back, just like Buffer. How come you didn’t sail away on that big ship, Dad?”
“Because I could never be happy anywhere again until I was with you and your mother.”
“You mean that, Dad? You really mean you’re gonna stay and never go away again?”
“That’s right, Garrett. We’re a family, and families stick together, no matter what.”
Garrett sighed with joy. “Boy, if only Buffer was here I’d be ’bout the happiest kid alive.” Then his eyes saddened. “Do you suppose he’s hurt, or sick? He didn’t seem sick when we left him.”
“I think it’s too soon to give up hope. If he’s not back by tomorrow night, we’ll ride into Napa the next day and post a reward to find out if anyone has seen him.”
“Really?”
“You bet, pal.”
“Right now, I think we should go back to the house, honey,” Caroline said. “Your grandfather is waiting for us.”
Garret suddenly lifted his head. “Listen. Do you hear that? That sounds like Buffer’s bark.” He jumped up.
“I think you’re right.” Jed rose to his feet and saw Buffer racing toward them.
And under the watchful eye of their mother herding them, four puppies wobbled behind, trying to keep up with him.
“It’s Buffer!” Garret shouted. “He’s come home!” He took off at a run.
“And look what he’s brought with him.” Jed reached down a hand and pulled Caroline to her feet, then slipped his arms around her waist and drew her back against his chest.
Nestling his cheek against the perfumed sweetness of her hair, he grinned as they watched the reunion between their son and his dog, with the four puppies hopping and nuzzling in the fray.
“I wonder who they belong to? None of the men at the mill have a dog,” Caroline said.
“Could be she’s part wolf. If so, that means she’s here to stay.”
“What makes you say that?” she asked.
He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. “Because, my beloved wife,” he said lightly, “just like the Fraser species, a wolf mates for life.”
“There’s just no end to your gems of wisdom, my love.” She cuddled deeper into his arms.
“Like it or not, Mrs. Fraser, it appears our family’s growing daily.”
Caroline slipped a hand to her stomach and with a secretive smile murmured, “Oh, you have no idea, Mr. Fraser.”