“’Cept for the scar,” Garrett said, managing to squeeze in the last word.
“Father, I think it will be wiser if you take Garrett and Buffer to your room while I finish this.”
“Come along, my lad. I’ll tell you about the time the
Virginia Lady
almost ran aground in a fog.”
“Yes, I like that story and want to hear it again,” Garrett said as Nathan led him away.
“Caroline, I’m fine,” Jed declared. “I’ll get out of here so you can go to bed. You haven’t had much sleep in the last few days.”
“I intend to, as soon as I’m through here. Go sit on the bed while I get my sewing box.”
“You pack a sewing box when you go away?”
“Of course. What if I have to sew on a button or sew up somebody’s face? I’ll be right back.”
He hobbled over to the bed and sat down painfully. His ribs were aching, and he felt them gingerly to see if any of them were cracked. From what he could tell, none appeared to be broken.
Caroline returned and saw him. “What’s wrong with your ribs?”
“I must have hurt them when that table I fell on broke. Slatter kept hitting me in the stomach.”
“If your ribs are hurting you, then obviously there’s something wrong.” As soon as she finished stitching his wound, she said, “Let’s get that shirt off so I can check them out.”
She reached to assist him, but her nearness was starting to awaken desire in him.
“I told you I’m all right. I’m getting the hell out of here,” he lashed out. He bolted to his feet, but fell back from the pain.
“Jed, why are you being so unpleasant? Denying you’re in pain? I’m only trying to help you.”
He sighed in defeat. “Okay, get it over with.” He struggled to remove his shirt.
“I’ll be glad to pull it off over your head.” She stepped between his legs and began to work the shirt over his head.
He closed his eyes, the provocative fragrance that was Caroline invading his senses. The tantalizing strokes of her fingertips were like heated strokes to his throbbing groin, and he groaned.
“I’m sorry. Does it hurt when I touch you?” she asked, skimming her fingers along the side of his torso.
“Yes,” he snapped and opened his eyes. “You damn well know it hurts wherever you touch me—and I’m
not
referring to any sore ribs.”
“I can’t believe you have sex on your mind when you’re in such pain,” she declared and began to wind a narrow white strip around his ribs. The brush of her hair against his naked flesh felt like velvet as she worked. “I’m just trying to soothe the pain in your ribs.”
“By creating a worse one in my groin,” he groaned.
Ignoring him, she finished the task and tied the ends in a knot. “That should help you get through the night, but you really should see a doctor. He could give you something for your pain.”
“So could you, Caroline, if you chose to do so.”
She raised her head, and for several seconds they gazed into each other’s eyes. Then he reached out and wove his fingers into the thick silkiness of her hair and slowly drew her head down to his. Once again he tasted the sweetness of her lips that parted beneath the pressure of his.
The kiss was deep and passionate, with the leisurely proficiency of the expert that he was. The deepening pressure of his lips aroused her own passion, and recalling those wondrous moments in his arms, she was tempted to surrender.
But her reasons to reject him were as valid now as they were before they married. She must not succumb to the seduction of the kiss or the excitement surging through her. She must not surrender.
She pulled away and raised her head. “No, Jed. Let me go.”
He dropped his hand away. “You know I want you, Caroline.”
“I believe you. But I won’t become your whore for a month in this port, Jed.”
“If all I wanted was a whore
in this port
I could have one, Caroline.”
“For God’s sake, Jed, what else do you want from me? I married you; I was intimate with you. Do you expect me to please you at your beck and call until you put on your sailor suit and sail off? You once told me your love of the sea wasn’t fair to a wife; I thought you meant that. I saw my mother’s loneliness, her tears when Father would leave, the nights when she paced the floor, missing him, needing him the way you claim you need me now.
“Each time you touch me or kiss me makes me want you, too. And I told you I won’t knowingly choose the pain my mother lived with.”
“Fine. I’m not going to beg you for something we both want, Caroline.”
She managed to hold back her tears until he was out of the room.
C
aroline and Jed had barely spoken on the ride home the following morning; Nathan had the good sense to stay out of the obvious quarrel between them; and all three adults had been content to let Garrett chatter away.
“Feeling any better this morning, Jed?” Nathan asked as they ate breakfast.
“A little sore.”
“Hot springs are good for soothing aches and pains, and we have one on our land. I’ve been in it often when my rheumatism kicks up. Ever try one before?”
“No,” Jed said, “but I’ve heard about them.”
“They’re great. Caroline, why don’t you take him there? I have to go to the mill, or I’d go with him myself. You coming with me, Garrett?”
“No, I think I’ll go with Mama and Jed today to the hot spring.” He turned to Jed. “It’s not so hot. I stuck my finger in it, and it didn’t burn.”
“If it burned, Garrett, a person couldn’t climb into it,” Caroline said.
“Then why do they call it a
hot
spring?”
“Besides being warm, it has a different source than the cold river water,” she replied with her usual patience with him. “Father, I hate the thought of you driving to the mill alone. There’s no telling if Mr. Calhoun will live up to his promise.”
“Calhoun’s not stupid. I’m sure Leland Stanford made him a valuable enough proposition that he won’t jeopardize it. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”
“As soon as I clean up the dishes we can go,” Caroline said to Jed.
“I’ll help you.”
“That’s not necessary; I’m used to doing it myself. But, Garrett, you help me clear the table.”
“How come we don’t have a table and chairs in the kitchen like my aunts do?”
“I guess your grandmother liked eating in the dining room.”
“If we had a table in the kitchen, we wouldn’t have to carry all these dishes back after we eat.”
“But think of what Buffer would miss out on if we did,” Caroline pointed out, when a half-eaten biscuit fell from a plate to the floor and Buffer went over and gobbled it up immediately.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” she said to Garrett when the dining-room table had been cleared. “Now stay close to the house because we’ll be driving Jed to the spring.”
“I will, Mama. Let’s go, Buffer,” Garrett said. Boy and dog disappeared out of the house.
“He’s some kid,” Jed said.
Caroline smiled. “I wish I had his energy.”
She began to wash the dishes, and Jed picked up a dish towel and began to dry them. Caroline suddenly stopped with her hands in the soapy water and looked at him. “He’s worth it, isn’t he, Jed? I mean, were we blinded by our love for him that we made a mistake in what we did?”
“It’s too late for regrets now, Caroline.”
She swallowed hard, and asked as calmly as she could, “But do you regret it, Jed?”
He gave her a narrow, measured glance. “No regrets. What about you?”
She felt a rush of relief. “I told you at Fraser Keep I’m ashamed of our shallowness toward each other. We’ve been acting more like children than responsible adults by allowing the issue of intimacy to overshadow the real purpose for marrying.
“But I
did
marry you for Garrett’s sake, Jed; and I believe you did, too. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.”
She lowered her head and tried to concentrate on the plate she was washing. “I thought that maybe after last night…that is, our conversation…you might regret—”
“Caroline, you just said it; the reason we married was to put his needs above our personal feelings. Last night was about our personal needs as a man and woman. Not Garrett’s.”
“And the trouble is that we allowed bitterness to creep into our relationship the way it has.”
“How can you expect it not to?” he said. “It
began
in bitterness, and both of us tend to fall back on that whenever we disagree on any topic.”
“But must we, Jed? Even if we disagree on something, does it have to end up with a quarrel?”
“Many of the issues we’ve clashed on could have been resolved without quarreling. But there were lines drawn between us, and we accepted them, or they would never have existed.”
She smiled shyly. “Ever hear of an armistice, Admiral Fraser?”
“You offering one, Miz Caroline?”
“I’m willing to try. Can’t we at least agree to keep bitterness out of arguments?”
“So you figure this so-called armistice won’t end the fights, only make them less…retaliatory.”
She laughed, and he grinned. “Do we seal this agreement with a kiss or a handshake?”
She offered him a sudsy hand.
“Mama! Mama!” Garrett shouted, rushing into the kitchen. “Buffer and I thought of a great idea!”
She grinned at Jed, who was trying to hold back from laughing. “And what is that great idea you and Buffer thought of?”
“As long as we’re going to that hot spring, why don’t we have a picnic? Don’t you think that’s a good idea, Dad?”
Jed cleared his throat. “Well, ah…I always like picnics.”
“Garrett, go down to the chicken coop and see if there’s any eggs. I’ll boil a few to take on the picnic.”
“Yippee!” Garrett exclaimed. “Come on, Buffer. We’re going on a picnic!”
The hot spring was set in a protective grove of oak and willow bordered on three sides by a granite wall. Caroline removed Jed’s boots and stockings, then helped him off with his shirt and unwrapped the bandage from around his ribs. He slipped off his jeans, waded into the therapeutic water, and sat down in it.
“How does it feel?” Garrett asked.
“It’s great,” Jed said.
Caroline removed her boots and stockings and sat down on the edge of the pond to soak her feet. “Oh, this is heaven,” she said.
“Why don’t you come in and join me, Garrett?” Jed asked.
“It’s too much like taking a bath.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Mama made me take a bath when we got home.”
“And Heaven forbid you take one again,” Caroline said.
“Granddad told me if I take too many baths, I’ll shrink up into a prune. Is that true, Mama?”
“Of course not, honey. You know your grandfather loves to tease you.”
“Well, all I can say,” Jed said, “is that I hadn’t realized what I’ve been missing all these years.”
“Is it better than swimming in the ocean?” Garrett asked.
“This isn’t water you’d normally swim in, Garrett.”
“I think it looks dumb just to sit there in the water.”
“It’s a lot better than clinging to a branch in a raging river, pal.” Jed winked at Caroline, then closed his eyes and relaxed.
After a long pause, when he opened them again, Garrett and Buffer were off chasing a butterfly, and Caroline sat on the edge of the pool deep in thought. The summer breeze tugged gently at her hair, and she raised a hand and brushed it off her cheek. It was like watching a painting come to life, and he regretted he wasn’t an artist to capture the moment on canvas.
“Penny for your thoughts,” he said.
“I was just thinking what a beautiful day this is. The last couple of weeks have been so hectic, filled with noisy trains and crowds of people.”
“I know what you mean. Its stillness is what I love about the sea.”
“I cherish moments like this when there is peace and quiet, perhaps an occasional chirp of a bird. Nature at her loveliest. I’d never be content living in a city.”
“From what I recall about Virginia, you didn’t attend many balls and cotillions, either.”
“I do prefer solitude.”
“Did you really enjoy the visit with my family?”
“Oh yes. Your brothers are wonderful, but I enjoyed the female companionship even more. It was something I never had, except for my mother. And your brothers’ wives all have such individual personalities, there was never a chance to be bored.”
She stood up. “I think you’ve been in that water long enough. You don’t want to wrinkle up into a prune, do you?” With a grin, she grabbed a towel as he climbed out of the water. “There’s a river nearby if you want to rinse those minerals off you.”
“No, I’ll do that when we get back.”
“Do you want me to wrap your ribs again?”
“I don’t think it will be necessary. I can move my arms pretty well now without any pain.”
He stretched out on his stomach on a blanket and closed his eyes. “The sun feels good.”
She took the opportunity to study him unobserved. Ruffled by the wind, his dark hair glistened in the sunshine. His long body was perfectly proportioned. His whole upper torso was bronzed, and his broad, muscular shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist and slim hips. His wet, clinging underwear outlined strong thighs and long, muscular legs.
A woman could certainly be angry at this man, but she could never ignore him. He had a quality that grabbed you, no matter how hard you fought it. She was proof of that.
“Jed, I’d like to tell you about Andy and me.”
She waited for his response, but after several seconds, she went over and examined him. He had fallen asleep. Here she had finally built up the courage to tell all to him—and he fell asleep!
She went back and sat down in the shade.
Caroline was almost on the verge of dozing off herself when Garrett came chasing up to her.
“Look, Mama, I found a four-leaf clover.”
“That’s wonderful, honey. They say it’s supposed to bring you good luck.”
“Do you think it will be lucky enough to keep Dad from leaving?”
“Sweetheart, you can’t hope for the impossible. It will only cause you disappointment. Help me unpack our lunch, then we’ll wake Jed.”
“Will you be glad when he leaves, Mama?” Garrett asked as they laid out the food on a bright red-and-white-checked tablecloth.
Jed awoke and became aware of the low voices. Hearing Garrett ask Caroline about him leaving, Jed strained to hear her answer.
“No, Garrett, I’ll be as sorry when he leaves as you will. But we knew from the beginning that was his intention, and we can’t expect him to change his plans for us. He’s done enough as it is. I’m sure he would have preferred to spend more time with his family on his leave.”
“Just the same, I’m gonna wish on my four-leaf clover he doesn’t leave.”
“Go over and wake him, honey. We’re ready to eat.”
Jed was amazed how good his ribs felt, and even managed to pull on his trousers before joining them.
Caroline had done her usual superb, last-minute preparation of a picnic lunch. As Jed leaned back against a tree, he reflected on how easily she rose to the challenge of anything asked of her. It reminded him of his mother.
It had been six years since his parents had passed on, and often when he was at sea, on watch during the night, his thoughts would stray to them. He had been out of the country when they had died, and he had missed seeing them laid to rest. And death was such a final ending that if you missed seeing them laid to that final rest, you expected them to walk through the door at any time.
Deep in thought, he was unaware he was fingering the narrow beaded string bracelet that his mother had given him for luck the first time he went to sea.
“Why do you wear that?” Garrett asked.
“I’m sorry; what did you say?” Jed asked, jolted back to the conversation.
“Why do you wear that bracelet on your wrist?”
“My mother made it for me.” He held out his wrist for Garrett to have a closer look at it.
“What does the writing say?”
“It spells my name: Jedemiah.”
“How come your mother gave you such a long name?”
“I guess it was as close to being bibical as my dad would allow.”
“Why did your mother want a biblical name, Jed?” Caroline asked. “Your brothers don’t have them.”
“If Mom had her way, her first four sons would have been named Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, Dad said no way, anymore than he’d allow his sons to be named Bubba or Billy Bob.” He chuckled in memory. “Dad had very strong convictions about some things, but by the time I was born he was willing to make a compromise. Mom liked the name Jeremiah from the Bible. Dad hated
Jer
, but did like Jed. It would have made me very happy if they’d stopped there, but Mom held firm for an end to the name. My father liked
diah
; my mother wanted
miah
.” So Mom won and they settled on
miah
. And the compromise resulted in my being christened Jedemiah. A source of endless teasing by my brothers when we were younger.”
“How come you named me Garrett, Mama?”
“That was your grandmother’s maiden name before she married your grandfather.”
“I thought Grandma’s name was Emily. That’s what Granddad always called her.”
“It was. Garrett was her last name.”
“Then why did you call it her maiden name? That sounds like it means a girl.”
“It is: an unmarried girl is referred to as a maiden.”
“Well, Grandma’s mom and dad had the same last name, and they’re married. I thought if a girl’s not married, she’s called Miss.”
Caroline grinned. “That, too.”
“So why are there two different words that mean the same thing? That sure is dumb,” Garrett said with disgust.
“It sure is, isn’t it?” Her blue eyes sparkled with mirth as they met Jed’s.
“I guess we should think about packing up and getting back home.”