“In sixty-three. He was killed in Pickett’s Charge at Gettysburg.”
Tears glistened in her eyes when she looked up at him. “I’m so sorry.” Her chin trembled, and she fought to hold back her tears. “He was so sweet. So kind and good. And all this time, I thought…I swear, I had no idea—”
“I don’t believe you. Andy was just a kid—he couldn’t have been more than sixteen when you left Virginia.”
“And I was only fifteen,” she railed in her own defense. “Was I any less of a child than Andy?”
“Did you know you were pregnant when you left?”
“No. I didn’t realize it until we were at sea.”
Jed turned to Nathan. “Did you know that, sir?”
“Of course not. I would have insisted they marry, had I known.”
“That still doesn’t excuse why you didn’t write him, Caroline, to let him know. You certainly had enough time to do it before he was killed.”
“I did write him,” she declared. “He never answered.”
Jed had never felt such anger. He curled his hands into fists, yearning to pound the wall in frustration.
“My brother went to his grave not knowing he had a son. My folks went to theirs without knowing they had a grandson to keep the memory of their son alive. Did it occur to you he may never have received the letter?”
“Since I never heard back from him, I assumed he didn’t want anything to do with us.”
“You really thought a kid with aspirations of becoming a minister would abandon you and his child? I don’t believe you.”
“I was sixteen when Garrett was born—just a child myself. I was ashamed and felt guilty for bearing a child out of wedlock. Is that so difficult to understand?”
“Didn’t it occur to you to write to my parents and at least inform them of their grandchild?”
“Why? So they would force Andy into a marriage I believed he didn’t want? Your arguments are coming from an adult. Try looking through the eyes of a sixteen-year-old.”
“But you’re no longer that sixteen-year-old, Caroline. What about now? Does it
occur
to you now?” he shouted. “No, you still want to deny Andy’s son any knowledge of his father. At least you could have told me the truth when we met again.”
“I was petrified—why do you think I tried to drive you away? Not knowing Andy was dead, I knew you would tell him. I feared he’d insist on raising Garrett and take him back to Virginia.”
“Your fears are just starting, lady.”
“Don’t try to threaten me, Jed. Since Andy and I weren’t married and his father is dead, you have no legal claim on Garrett.”
“Garrett’s a Fraser, so this is a question of family honor. And as long as there’s breath in me, he’s going to be raised a Fraser.”
He turned to Nathan and stood at full attention. “Captain Collins, I am asking your permission to marry your daughter.”
Caroline erupted. “Marry! That’s ludicrous! Now who’s thinking like a child?”
Nathan sighed. “Jed, nothing would please me more for the sake of my grandson’s welfare. Of course you have my permission, but it’s Caroline’s decision whether or not she will marry you.”
“And my decision is
no
.”
Jed ignored her. “Then may I ask another favor, sir? Will you consider signing ownership of this property and mill over to Garrett, with me as the executor?”
Jed waited on edge as Nathan gave a long look, and he saw the moment when Nathan figured out the bluff he was trying to pull on Caroline.
Nathan stood up to shake his hand. “I can’t think of anyone I’d trust to do a better job,” he said.
“Thank you, sir. I only have Garrett’s welfare in mind.”
Aghast, Caroline stared at her father. “You would do that to me, Father?”
“Only to assure Garrett’s interests, Caroline. And by so doing, I know your interests will be protected, as well.”
“Do you think I’d remain here as long as Jed is in charge? This is the only home Garrett’s ever known! He loves it here. It would break his heart if I took him away from here. I can’t believe you’d risk that on the word of this man.”
She glared at Jed. “The minute you walked back into our lives, I knew you would be trouble.”
“I’m sorry our relationship has to end so bitterly, Caroline, but business is business, and we Frasers look after one another’s interests. I suggest you reconsider my marriage proposition.”
“When Hell freezes over, Mr. Fraser.” She walked out with as much dignity as possible when one is barefooted.
T
he following morning, anger lay like an ember under Jed’s skin, waiting for the minutest spark to set it ablaze.
He had anticipated a royal battle from Caroline, perhaps even an announcement that she wouldn’t accompany them to Sacramento.
Surprisingly she appeared quite calm when she joined them for breakfast and offered a morning greeting to all, although she didn’t speak directly to him.
He was certain she had some plan in mind, but it wouldn’t do her one damn bit of good. He had admired her spirit and grit, but whether she liked it or not, he intended to decide the outcome of this situation regarding Garrett.
Throughout the night he had pondered the situation. Even if she was telling the truth and written the letter, which he doubted, there was no excuse not to inform the rest of the family about Garrett’s existence in the years that followed. Her courage and struggle to raise Garrett were commendable for one so young, but he just couldn’t justify the decision she made that followed.
Jed put aside his napkin.
So why keep trying?
The time had come for her to face retribution for the deed.
Like it or not, Caroline Collins, we are getting married. And then my brother’s son will rightfully bear the name of Fraser.
The sound of her voice invaded his thoughts. “Honey, don’t go outside after breakfast.”
He glanced up and saw she was speaking to Garrett. For a few ludicrous seconds, he had thought it was to him.
“We’re going to Sacramento later today, so I don’t want you to stray away. Stay in the house or the garden.”
“Do we have to go?” Garrett questioned.
“Your grandfather and Mr. Fraser have some business to attend to, and we’re going with them.”
“Can Buffer come with us?”
“No, he’ll have to stay behind and sleep in the barn at night. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of days.”
“But who’s gonna feed him?”
“You know he’s capable of finding his own food and water. He’s done it before.”
“But, Mama, Buffer doesn’t like staying behind. I want him to come along.”
“Sweetheart, it’s out of the question. Now go and do as I said.”
Garrett trudged upstairs.
“So you intend to accompany us to Sacramento without any further argument?” Jed asked her.
“I told you that last night in the garden.”
“I thought that perhaps the discussion that followed might have changed your mind.”
“I have given that discussion a great deal of thought.” After a glance at her father, Caroline said, “I’ve come to the conclusion that the wisest course I can pursue for my son’s welfare is to agree to marry you.”
“Honey, that’s wonderful news!” Nathan said. “I knew your common sense would prevail.”
“Let’s hope Mr. Fraser’s will, too, when he hears, what else I have to say. Last night you declared your terms, Jed; now I’ll declare mine. Had you shown patience and understanding, I might have grown to care about you, even love you in time. But you’ve destroyed that possibility by forcing me into a marriage.”
“I regret that, Caroline. But I know Garrett will love my family, and they’ll love him as well.”
“That is good to know, but under no circumstances will I or Garrett reside anywhere except in my father’s house. When you are in port, feel free to stay here or wherever else you choose. It doesn’t matter to me. Do you agree?”
“Yes, I don’t find that to be a problem.”
“And under no circumstances do you take Garrett anywhere without advising me of your intentions. At that time either my father or I will accompany you. Do you agree?”
“Did you discuss that intention with that bizarre hound you call a watchdog?”
Ignoring his sarcasm, she repeated, “Do you agree?”
“I think it’s ludicrous, but I agree.”
“Next, this marriage will be in name only. We will not share a bed or bedroom. Do you agree?”
“Definitely not. I will neither tolerate locked doors between us nor having to knock on a door in order to enter my wife’s bedroom.”
“I’ll consider that, but it will not include the marriage bed.”
“Are you aware that the marriage bed is one of the rewarding privileges between a husband and wife, Caroline?”
Caroline blushed, and gave her father an embarrassing glance. “I agreed to marry you, Jed, not to be a wife to you.”
“I have no intention of forcing myself on you, if that’s your concern. But the door connecting our rooms is to be kept unlocked.”
Nathan jumped to his feet. “I’ve heard enough of this absurdity. Good God, woman, a man has needs!”
“I am quite aware of that, and he should have considered them before coercing me into an unwanted marriage.”
Nathan gave Jed a sympathetic look, then strode from the room.
“So you agree,” she pursued. “The marriage bed—”
“Will only be at your time and choosing, madam. You have my word.”
“Very well, then I accept your proposal. Have you decided on a date?”
“The sooner the better. But since Hell has officially frozen over, now that you’ve agreed to wed me, will we need additional time to let it thaw?” he asked.
She pursed her lips to keep from smiling. He could be too damn amusing at times. “The date, Mr. Fraser?”
“I would like to have my family there. Since there are only three of us, we can go to them as soon as we finish our business in Sacramento. But for the sake of our future marital tranquility, Caroline, I’ll point out that your attitude about this is beginning to wear on my patience.”
“You should have thought of that before issuing your ultimatum.” She calmly left the room.
Well, what did you expect, Fraser, a kiss and a hug good morning?
Jed thought as he watched her walk away with that slight sway of her hips that always caught his eye. It tweaked his appetite enough to be curious what was beneath that gown.
Those demands of hers were more of a challenge than an annoyance, and he looked forward to showing her how wrong she was about not wanting to share a bed with him.
You may think you’re dealing this poker game, sweetheart, but I’m about to raise the ante.
Caroline absently took a gown from the armoire, her mind on the scene with Jed at the breakfast table.
He had always remained poised and in control of his emotions before, but his anger last night had been unbearable, frightening. The tenderness they had shared so shortly before had changed to loathing in a blink of an eye.
She had reacted to it with the same emotion, instead of waiting it out and trying to come to a better decision after he cooled down. Once people lashed out with ultimatums, pride usually kept them from not backing down. “Act in haste, repent in leisure,” as her mother used to say.
Perhaps he
was
right. Perhaps she should have made a greater effort to inform Andy of the birth of his son. But if the decision she made when he didn’t answer her letter was wrong, there was no changing it now. What was done was done.
Why should it raise so much anger and bitterness in Jed?
She started to close the lacquered door of the wardrobe, then lovingly stroked the walnut veneer of the panel, embossed with pink roses and trailing green ivy. It had been one of her mother’s most cherished possessions. Her father had brought it home from England on one of his voyages, and after her mother died, he had moved it into her room.
“Oh, Mother, I miss you so much,” she murmured softly. “And I need your gentleness and wisdom more than I ever have. How I wish you were here now to tell me what to do.”
Caroline walked to the window and stared out blindly. It seemed an eternity since her mother had died, and yet it had only been two years.
Since then, other than brief chats on Sunday mornings with the pastor’s wife, there’d been few other females in her life. There were no neighbors nearby, none of the loggers had wives, and Garrett had no schoolmarm since she taught him herself at home.
She missed having another woman in the house, a female voice other than her own, someone to talk or laugh with while hanging out the wash, shelling peas, or baking a cake—the things she and her mother had enjoyed doing together.
And oh, for a girlfriend her own age to giggle with, or share their deep secrets and wants!
Caroline moved to the mirror and stared at her image. In retrospect, she never
had
had any close female friend other than her mother.
So what makes you think you need one now? Stop the whining and think about the bigger problems at hand.
“Oh, shut up and go away,” Caroline grumbled. “You’re no help at all—you never have been. You don’t even have a voice.” She spun on her heel and walked away in disgust.
She finished packing, then went down the hall to Garrett’s room, but he wasn’t there. She peeked into the open door of Jed’s room, which was empty.
When she checked the garden, he wasn’t there, either, and she began to feel uneasy.
Her father had dozed off in a chair in his den, and Caroline woke him. “Father, have you seen Garrett? I can’t find him anywhere, and I warned him to stay inside.”
“Don’t worry, honey, Jed’s with him. The last time I saw them, they were in the barn.”
“Have you packed a bag for overnight?”
“Yes, I’m ready to go whenever the rest of you are.”
“If we’re to catch the train to Sacramento, we’d better think about leaving soon,” she told him, and headed for the barn.
The barn door was open, but there was no sign of either of them. Then her heart leaped to her throat when she saw that Liberty’s stall was empty.
She rushed to the door of the barn and shouted, “Father, Father!” at the top of her voice.
Nathan came hurrying down the path. “What is it, Caroline? What’s wrong?”
“Garrett’s not here. And Liberty’s gone, too. He took him—I know he took him.”
“You mean Calhoun? You think Calhoun took Garrett?”
“No, Jed. Jed’s kidnapped him.”
Nathan relaxed and shook his head. “That’s ridiculous, Caroline. Since they’re both gone, no doubt they’re together. And obviously Buffer is with them, too.”
“They’re together, all right, and I’m going after them. He’s probably taken him to his brother’s in Calistoga.”
“If so, I’ll go with you. But not until we’re certain that is the case. I think they’re just off somewhere and will be back soon.”
“I can’t believe you can take this so lightly. The man has kidnapped your grandson!”
“Honey, Jed is an honorable man; don’t start accusing him of foul play.”
“You’re too blind to see that he’s hoodwinked you,” she said, frantic with fear. “No doubt he planned this from the start. He probably recognized the resemblance when he first saw Garrett, and staged that scene last night in order to throw off suspicion! Oh, he’s treacherous.”
“Caroline, I know that man. We fought a war together. He’s neither dangerous nor treacherous.”
“You’ve always been obsessive about him, Father. Whenever you came home during the war, Mother and I had to listen to Mr. Fraser this, or Mr. Fraser that. He could do no wrong in your eyes. Then when the war ended, and he went elsewhere, you mourned his loss as if he were a dead son.”
“I admit I thought of him as such,” Nathan said. “I had always longed for such a son.”
“Do you think I didn’t guess that, Father?” Tears streaked her cheeks. “But you didn’t have that son, did you? You had a daughter.”
Nathan drew her trembling body into his arms. “And I thank God every day for that daughter.” He smiled tenderly. “I love you, my dearest child.”
Caroline flung her arms around his neck, sobbing, and buried her head against his chest. “I know you do, Father. I’m so sorry. These past few days have been so stressful, worrying about losing Garrett, Calhoun’s threats, and now the thought of this ridiculous marriage to Jed.” She raised her head. “I can’t even think sensibly anymore.”
Nathan stepped back and looked deeply into her tear-filled eyes. “Do you actually believe I’d ever be a party to forcing you into a marriage you didn’t want, my child? And when the time comes, I know Jed won’t, either. He’s too honorable a man.”
“Isn’t that the whole issue—his and his family’s honor?” Caroline slumped down on a bale of hay. “At least now the secret’s in the open. And Jed is right. I
have
denied Garrett a father. I’ve never considered his needs, only my own selfish ones to keep him to myself. So as long as Jed has agreed to my terms, I might as well marry him for Garrett’s sake. I may not be able to bear the sight of Jed Fraser, but I know he’ll be a good father to my son.”
Nathan smiled kindly. “Do you really dislike him that much, honey?”
“I didn’t at first; I was only being rude to him in the hope of driving him away. I just wish he’d go away and leave us alone.”
“If that’s your decision, my dear, I’ll not interfere.”
“You’ve interfered already, you old curmudgeon.” She wiped away her tears and stood up. “Let’s hitch Belle to the buckboard and find them. We’ve got a train to catch.”
They were just preparing to leave when they spied Buffer approaching the barn, and within seconds Liberty appeared with the two riders on her back.
When they reached them, Garrett slid off the rear of the horse and ran up to them. “Mama! Granddad! Jed and I went fishing and he showed me how to spear a fish! And I did it!” He triumphantly held up a string with a small fish dangling from the end.
Jed dismounted. “He learns quickly.” He handed Caroline several larger fish on a string.
She just looked at him with the same nonplussed expression as Nathan.
“What?” he asked in confusion.
“How thoughtful of you, Jed,” Caroline said sweetly. “Now The Buffer won’t have to hunt for something to eat while we’re gone.” She patted the dog’s head. “Right, Buffer? And you thought he didn’t like you.”
Jed watched her saunter up to the house, swinging the fish by the string—and those damn hips of hers.
Okay, sweetheart, you’ve won this hand. But the next deal is mine.